Ohohoho~~! This is my first Trigun fanfic, and a yaoi at that. Mmm. Don't read this if you're skittish about KNIVES/VASH romance...that means gay AND incest! Just be prepared. ^_^; Spoilers for episodes 17 and 23...Flames will be incinerated by Knives' Glare of Doom. He likes his Vashu- and you should too. *bow* Oh, and the Japanese at the end (Supplied by the great Whitecat-sama) is "You will always be my angel". Enjoy~~~~~!
He's waiting. Standing before me with the moons behind him in the doorway of the ship, lighting his hair to an almost silvery color and forming a halo of gold around his ears. The wind bursts by us through the open portal to the outside, but he doesn't move, doesn't recognize the shift in the breeze.
"Brother," I say softly, letting my eyes linger on the sculpted shape of his body, on the hollows of his neck and the contours of his face. It's a name, just a word, and yet it says everything that I feel, every sick, demented desire, every kill, every moment between the two of us can be recalled with that one sound. We stand in silence for a moment, before I speak again. "Vash."
I think he knows. He doesn't understand and doesn't really like it- he will, soon- but he acknowledges the relationship with a slight incline of his head. Yes, brother. You cannot escape me. Before this night is over...
Another moment passes. It's been almost a year since I've spoken with him, and I suppose he's been lonely without a shoulder to lean on and a person to share his meals with. The guns, as I had known, were still within the dead, broken Seeds ship- a project the humans had been manipulating- another way of stealing the power of our brethren and harnassing them into a machine. I improved them a thousandfold in ways a human could never imagine. I used my own energy instead of the energy of another to define the parameters of the weapon, to gradually widen them- they aren't done, but soon.... Soon. All the while my dear brother was waiting, unknowing, on the bottom level of the ship- soon I will press the gun into his palm and he will join my side. Together. Until then-
This year apart has shown me one thing for certain- It's hard to stay away from him.
So I visited, broke and gave in, just this once. I suppose even I, one of the two perfect beings on this planet, must give into an emotion as strong as this. He was curled in a dark blanket in a dark room, the golden straw his head is crowned with the only speck of color in the echoing chamber as he slept. My brother. A soft word and his eyes open, aqua colored, green and blue at the same time. My ice blue mixed evenly with the green of life- green like Rem's nature. Like a melding of philosophies, his eyes, that blinked sleepily and regarded me for a moment with the adoration he always used to project like an aura until the haze of sleep lifted. Another moment and he stood, his chest broad and unmarred, save for a gash he earned when out escape pod landed. A single scar.
And now his delicious eyes narrow as he realizes who I am- I can feel his questions ringing in my mind. Where are you going? What have you been doing? Why? Brother-
Without meaning too, I press my hand across the flat of his left breast, watching our skin- here in the moonlit darkness it is the same shade, our flesh blends together, undefined. I am him. He is me. Vash looks questioningly at me, his eyebrows rising, the beauty mark at the corner of his eye giving him an addictive appearance- I say nothing, just listen to the beat of his heart. It's strong and even beneath my palm, as unwavering as his foolish beliefs. Brother. Perfect in his beauty. Complete in his innocence. Half of me.
And I kiss him.
His lips are as soft as they look, his body shakes as he pulls away from me, those liquid eyes filled with something akin to fear, slight disgust, and a hint of disbelief. I wait a moment while he stutters out a vauge sounding response, confused by the touch, by his own reaction. I suppose my face has hardened at the slight rejection- It's Rem's fault, really. Her human ideals. Her morals tainting him, keeping him from enjoying this gift, from enjoying me.
I kiss him again, this time holding his hands against the metallic surface of the wall behind us. He struggles once, but my lips are convincing, as I break away and press my face to his neck, breathing him in. His scent, his skin- "Brother," I purr and let his hands go, wrapping my own arms around his waist and bury my face against the nape of his neck. He tastes so sweet, here in the darkness.
His voice is shaking, his hands are warm and trembling as they press against the shoulders of my ship suit. I can feel the heat through the plastic-cloth, I can feel his nails curling into the hollow of my neck as he struggles to find the words that I've sucked from him. "Knives-"
Kiss him again, one hand on his hips, the second seeking his fingers. Less hesitant now, because it feels so good, so right, because he is my brother and my other half, he is perfect in every way. As perfect as I am. He isn't twisting himself away, but he isn't leaning in either, it's like kissing a beautiful porcelian doll, cool and unyielding under my palm. I think he might be testing me- I hate tests. Pull away, regard him thoughtfully. "What's wrong?"
"You're...my brother..." He slumps against the wall, sliding down until he's a ball of tattered fabric and slightly limp blonde hair even with my knees. I kneel as well, pressing my damp hands against the thighs of my shipsuit. Why is he so confused? Why does it matter? He and I are perfect. Brother. Of course he's my brother. How could I love anyone but him?
"It's wrong," he says faintly, brushing his fingers across my lips. The words are almost an apology, the touch a caress. "It's wrong."
Says who? The humans? Are we human? I ask him- it's unusal, that. Usually I am the one he turns to for assurance, but not this time. "Who told you that?"
He's blushing, looking horribly human as his face flushed crimson and he looks away, wary of meeting my gaze. Maybe I'm too convincing for him- or maybe he doesn't...No, I know he feels this. We are one another. I'm sure he feels what I do- There's only one person who could set him like this. Oh, please don't tell me... "Masaka," I whisper, eyes narrowing in sudden suspicion. Could Rem have...? I want to ask him if it was her, but that would destroy what I've done. Reminding him of her would be akin to comitting suicide at the moment, when I'm leaning over, his sweat still on my lips.
"The books," he says softly, staring hard at the wall beyond my shoulder. Anywhere but at me. "The files. It's common knowledge. You just don't do that-"
I threw myself forward, and if he had been looking at me, he probably would have cringed at the anger burning in my eyes. Fury. My fists are clenching his shoulders, pulling the flesh white, and he whimpers softly, terrified by the sudden pain. By my sudden shift. "She spoiled you, Vash! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
He's shivering under my fingers, and I cup his chin in one hand and tilt his head, hard enough that he cries out again. He meets my eyes- as I predicted, he cringes, mouth half open with protests or explanations. I'm not sure, so I kiss him again, and he splutters my name. "Kn-Knives!"
"We are above them. We are not human. You and I," I whisper, bringing my lips nearer to his, "are one," closer, almost- "and you belong to me. With me." As almost an afterthought, a smile slips across my face and I laugh softly at the sweetness of my words. "Brother."
This time the kiss isn't gentle, we are a tangle of limbs as he claws at my back, wanting free of my endless embrace. I lick his neck, kiss his hairline and wait until the struggles cease beneath me before I let my gaze soften. When he is at last slumped back against the wall, I raise my hand-
-and he cowers.
I blink- He's scared? Of what- me? That's not what I wanted, not at all. I want him to
understand how things must be. How they should be. We are the same, are we not? I ask him, and he opens those beautiful eyes, blonde spikes falling between us, his cheeks reddened and hot. "You and I....Vash...can't you feel it?"
Maybe it's the way my finger is tracing lower along his chest, perhaps it's my palm pressed against the small of his back- or maybe the words do get through to him. He nods slightly, mouth hanging slightly open, his breath short. He's no longer just scared. I should have known my dear little brother would never be convinced by sheer force alone.... A different tactic is needed. Sweet words. After all, that's all Rem ever used, and he worships the woman.
I smile at him. For a moment he stares in confusion, but a second longer and he smiles as well- it's shy, small, but on his face it's like the suns are bursting through the clouds above. That smile means he trusts me. That smile means that despite all the words in the past, I still have my Vash. Lingering doubts are in his eyes- but then, only time will heal those- and I close my eyes in silent admiration of him.
"I...I do feel it, Knives.... I just-"
"You are my brother," I tell him softly, the words on my lips sounding like a fervent prayer as I kiss his neck softly. "You are all I need. Together we are whole, seperated we are simply pieces. We have to be of one mind and heart- we will never be alone."
He's shaking again, but hesitantly lifting his arms, letting them slide around my shoulders, the flesh gracefully muscled, tense and unsure in his actions. Yes, Vash, you understand, don't you? Of course you do- you are perfect, as I am. This is why I'm finding the guns- for you. This is why our Eden will be perfect- because it is for you.
"Vash... Kimi wa itsumo boku no tenshi da ..."
He's givin in. He's kissing back. It feels so good to have him break like that, to feel his defenses slip and to hold him as close as I did when we were children together. Again- my skin on his. Melting together. This is right. It's right and it's all that matters. "Knives... Knives...."