Don't Mess With Her by VN

Lily Evans menacingly tied Sirius Black to a chair. The other Marauders, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, wondered what was going on. She was pretty riled up.

It was a pretty odd sight, actually. A girl about one foot and a half shorter than him was tying big, tall, and tough Sirius Black to a chair.

It was a funny sight, indeed.

"Erm, Lily, what's going on?" asked an oddly clueless Remus Lupin (even though he's supposed to be able to figure it out by just glancing at it).

"Him. That's what," she breathed angrily, struggling to decide whether she should strangle him or give him an Instrument of Torture.

"What happened, sweetie?" asked her boyfriend, James Potter who was worried (though Sirius thought him as a traitor since he was supposed to be more concerned about his best friend, but because of the authoress we will proceed with the fact James could honestly care less about Padfoot).

"Wow, is it morning already?" asked Peter. (Which was strange, since they were in the Heads Dorms and it was nearing eight at night. Honestly, though, the authoress can care even less.)

No one answered him.

"He raided my bras!" she was heaving, mildly embarrassed.

Sirius gulped. He wasn't really raiding her underwear drawer. It just convincingly looked like it since his hands were in the dresser. And also with the fact he had lifted bras out and put them on his chest, as if to try them on. Definitely a convincing image, he thought, trying to reassure himself.

It was very convincing, indeed.

Definitely.

James looked horrified. His best mate had been looking in his girlfriend's drawer for her undergarments!

Sirius just looked sheepish.

"Now, Sirius, I'm giving you a choice here. Would you like to get strangled or be victim of the Instrument of Torture?" asked Lily, her voice dangerous and low.

"Um…" Sirius gave it a thought. (Which was odd, since the authoress was sure Sirius doesn't think. At all.)

Would he rather get his beautifully handsome body be mangled after her powerful hands strangling him or should be the injured party of this so-called Instrument of Torture?

"Give me your best shot with the Instrument of Torture," Sirius drawled, trying to look nonchalant.

That only made Sirius look like a scared little puppy.

Lily smirked evilly. She gave an evil laugh and kept laughing in a malicious way until she remembered she wasn't alone. The Marauders looked at her oddly.

She quit laughing right away and pretended to be doing something else as if it never happened.

Which it had never happened.

Right?

She took out a jar.

Sirius screamed.

James gasped.

Peter hid behind Remus.

Remus gave Lily a bewildered stare.

That's right. The jar was full of jellybeans. Remus started asking himself if Lily had seriously lost IQ points and some of her common sense/sanity when she began dating James Potter.

He was sure she did.

Definitely.

When Peter saw the jellybeans, he asked, "Lily, may I have a jellybean?"

"NO! YOU MAY NOT EAT THE INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE!" she yelled.

"Please? Just a strawberry one?"

"No."

"Cherry?"

"No."

"Lime?"

"No."

With every "no", Lily was getting redder and redder in the face. She was going to lose her temper if he kept asking…

Poor Peter.

He was very thick.

He kept naming flavors.

"Just one grape? Actually, I don't like grape, I-"

"That's enough, Peter," Remus said tiredly, two hours later without getting anywhere.

"Can I get out of this chair now? The rope's chafing my wrists," Sirius said, bored and confident Lily wasn't going to feed him the Instrument of Torture. He would be horrified if she did.

That's right; Sirius had an unhealthy phobia of jellybeans.

Ever since Bellatrix had locked him in a room with jellybeans when he was a young, small, puny, defenseless, rosy-cheeked, little four-year old. For added kicks and a bonus, Bellatrix made them alive.

That's right, people; they were MUTANT DOG-CONSTELLATION-NAMED-FOR-EATING-JUMPING-JELLYBEAN NINJAS!

Lily then took one jellybean out. She slowly inched her hand with the jellybean to Sirius' face.

Poke.

Sirius screamed.

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