Author: novelist742 PM
After seeing the results with Sasuke and Sakura, Naruto decides to write a letter of his own with the help of Kakashi. Hilarious results are obvious when you put these two together. EDITED EDITION!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Hinata H. & Naruto U. - Words: 1,124 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 11 - Published: 08-06-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3090176
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I OWN NARUTO… -Looks at lawyers cracking their knuckles as they make fists- …Well, I do in my dreams… -sigh-
Mkay, well, I was looking at my stories, and I was so proud. All of them had at least 1,000 words…And then I looked at this one…IT ONLY HAD 625 WORDS. I was in shock and didn't know what to do. Creating a plan in my head, I quickly began to rewrite this story. I edited it, I added stuff, and it is no longer horrible! YAY! So it's all good guys. It's all good.
FYI: The spelling errors in this fic are supposed to be there. Do you honestly think that I would make so many spelling errors?
And also, please…never ever make the following mistakes in any of your writings…I will hunt you down…and hurt you…-winks and gives thumbs up sign- THAT'S A PROMISE!
Hi! It's mee! Naruto! I saw how well this thing worked for Sasuke and Sakura-chan, so I desided to gif it a tri! Sakura-chan sed that shee apreceated Sasuke-teme's leter, and sed I shuld maik on to! I ges grls liik that stuf.
Naruto, life lesson 101--do not mention another girl's name in this letter. Do you understand? It will ruin the mood…not to mention, she'll get extremely angry with you.
Oh, Hinata-chan! That was Kakashi-sensei! He's helping me right the leter. He's so grate at this stuf.
Can we move on with this? Now then, Naruto, first lead gently in, describing the circumstances of which you have come upon your emotions for her. Then bring her back to memories of the past that touch your heart. Lastly, wrap it up with romantic saying—Naruto, am I boring you?
Then why were you drooling on the paper?
Err, I was picturing Hinata-chan in a swimsuit?
Ooh yeah, that certainly is interesting…
Hey! Now ur druling! What? Ar you hungrie?
No, no, I'm just…imagining…
I know I'm hungrie! Ramen would realy hit the spot right now, wouldnt itt? I realy luv ramen. Ramen is grate! Ramen is amahzing! I luv ramen! Do u no that they haf all tipes of ramen? I adorh ramen! Ramen is wonderfull! Ramen is-
Is this a love letter to ramen or to Hinata?
Of course. You forgot…Let's begin again. Naruto, what's the first thing you need to do in this letter?
Ask Hinata-chan out on a date?
…Let her noe shes the hotest thing own too legs?
I NOE! I tell her thet shee is mie luver!
…Think of it this way: what would a ninja do in this situation?
Hed hit al her vitahl spotts with shuriken and kunai?
Yes, yes he wou- No, no, NO. Do you hear me sighing, Naruto? You're frustrating me. Approach this letter gently and smartly!
Oh, so what your sayin is that I should send some shuriken along with this letter?
…Just start writing, Naruto…
Say what you think of her. Explain to her how you feel—without saying: "I love you" directly.
Hinata, I think that you are an…a-m-a-i-s-i-n-g person. And I really a-p-r-e-s-e-a-t-e you always being t-h-e-i-r 4 me.
Do you know how to spell?
Yeh, I du!
…I swear, sometimes your maturity level scares me…
… Just skip straight to the point where you say: I love you, and you'll be fine.
Nah, "I luv you" is to mushee. Don't cha think I should lead up to it frst?
Fine. I'll just read Icha Icha Paradise in the meantime. Call me if you need me.
Ooh! Can I reed?
Oh, com on, lemmee c!
LET. MEE. C!
It's not for your eyes…
Fine. I'll just continu righting 2 Hinata-chan then.
You need spelling lessons.
Kakashi-sensei! I thawt u where gonna reed that porn buuk of urs! …AND I so du nott!
I forgot I lent it to Gai…
…What wuld he want w/ a porn buuk?
…I'd rather not pry any further if I were you, Naruto…
Anyway, Hinata, at frst I thought u where weerd and a litle shie. We ar just frends butt I want uss to becom morr then that. I want u to now that I luv you.
That…that was beautiful Naruto. I need to get this published or something. I could make a lot of money out of this…
Great! Now I'm gonna gif it 2 Hinata!
You're missing something.
You didn't even put in a memory or two in here.
What memory should I use?
…I'm drahing a blanc, Kakashi-sensei.
…Ugh, here's a hint for one you can use. "Chuunin exams…"
Wen I got eeten by a snake? OH! OH! Wen I farrted on Kiba?!
…NO. When she gave you her healing tonic at the preliminary rounds!
Oh! I remember that! That was realy nice of her…
Don't tell me. Tell her.
Okay…Hinata, thank u soo much 4 the healing tonick it hellped me allot when I neeeded itt. Thanx 4 thinking about me.
Despite your horrible spelling, that was actually…quite nice. End the letter gently. We don't want her fainting again.
I LUV YOU HINATA! I LUV YOU SOO MUCH! I JUST WANT U SOO BADLY! WILL YOU MARRY ME? WILLU HAF MY CHILLEDREN? PLEESE? MARY ME! WANT YOU TO BE WITH ME FOREVR AND EVR AND EVER AND EVR!
Yeah, that was really gentle…
With lotsa luv,
Well, at least you spelt your name right…
Hinata looked up from the letter to Naruto standing before her. He was scratching his head, nervously and smiling bashfully.
"N-Naruto-kun," she whispered, blushing madly.
"Yeah, hehe," he said, laughing, blushing as well, "I was going to write another letter—one that didn't have Kakashi's hand writing all over it…but Kiba's dog, Akamaru peed all over my papers…I was able to save your letter though!"
"…This has…dog pee on it?" Hinata asked, hesitantly.
"…Just a little," he responded, "You see the corners? They're yellow? Don't touch there…"
"So?" he asked her, still scratching his head, "Will you go out with me? Hinata? … Hinata! Hinata? HINATA!"
Her eyes rolled back and she collapsed onto the grass beneath her.
Naruto sweat dropped.
Not again, he thought.