Kingdom Hearts/ Final Fantasy Theatre

Disclaimer: You all know I don’t own this…

Copyright: I only own Axis Oracle…

Episode One:

Let us begin

“Killing Lights,” By AFI plays in the background as a reddish brown emo cut haired teenager with blue eyes walks onto the stage. He’s wearing a black Organization trench coat. He sits at a desk, and looks to see all of the FF/ KH characters.

Axis: Hello! Welcome to Kingdom Hearts/ Final Fantasy Theatre! I’m your sick and delusional host, Axis Oracle. (Looks at his guest, and sighs) We are gathered here to present the first episode of this show, Let us begin. (Lights go off, pissing off Axis) WHAT THE HELL! TURN ON THE LIGHTS! (Lights turn on) Thank you. This is where we ask questions! Okay first question… (Opens up a piece of paper, He stares at it for a moment) Okay this question is for Cid Highwind.

Cloud: Interrupts Axis. Hey! I thought this was where they were selling hair gel!

Axis: (Looks around) Yeah… It is.. You get free hair gel for uh… staying here and answering questions Cloud… (Continues with what he was reading) Q. Cid you know that smoking’s bad for you right? You should really stop before you die!

Cid: #&$! If I cared what the hell you said, I would of crashed my Highwind into the Shin-Ra building. #&$!

(Everyone involved with Shin-Ra looks at him with an evil glare)

Reno: STUPID EX-PILOT!

Elena: DUMBASS AVALANCHE MEMBER!

Cid: #&$ Turks!

Axis: ALRIGHT! WE GET IT! I’m not wasting time on your stupidity! Now shut the hell up before I kill you with a paper fan! (Everyone becomes quiet) Okay… Next question! (Unfolds the paper and starts to laugh) Okay… This is for Vexen. Q. Vexen have you had a sex change? I thought you were a woman in KH: COM. But then my friend cleared that up for me. (Looks over at Vexen) Well Number V, did you?

Vexen: (Fumes) NO I DID NOT HAVE A SEX CHANGE! HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT!

Axis: Correction, I didn’t ask that. Whoever sent this letter did, I was reading it to you so you’d know what the question is.

Axel: I wanted to know that also!

Vexen: Damn you number VIII! (Points at Axel like he’s a witch)

Axis: Vexen! How would you like to be the first to die by a paper fan? Everyone shuts up. Next question… (Unfolds another paper) Okay… This one is for Sora! Q. Sora ever heard of a comb? (Axis snickers)

Sora: (Offended by the question) I like my hair style! Not my fault I was programmed this way!

Riku: Have to agree with that question, Sora. (Laughs hysterically, then Kairi pokes him in the side) Oww… That hurt Kairi!

Axis: Well…now that you annoyed me, let us continue…(Unfolds another paper, then looks at his Moogle) This question is for my Moogle. Q. Can you say anything besides kupo? (Looks at his Moogle) Well can ya?

Moogle: KUPO! (Hugs Axis, then runs off somewhere)

Axis: Forget I even asked… Next Question… (Unfolds another paper. Falls out of his seat and begins to laugh, then he gets up and pretends nothing happened) This is for Seifer… Q. Are you aware that there is an icon that says ‘will the real Slim Shady please stand up?’. It has your face on it. Are you related to him?

Seifer: (Growls at the question) I’M NOT RELATED TO SLIM SHADY! WHAT TYPE OF QUESTIONS ARE THESE!

Leon: Actually… I’ve always wondered if you were… (Looks around to see Selphie laughing her ass off) Selphie? Selphie are you okay?

Selphie: OMG! THAT WAS SOO FLIPPING FUNNY! I CAN’T BREATHE CAUSE I’M LAUGHING SO HARD! (Passes out)

Axis: Great… (Stares blankly at Selphie’s unconscious body) Now we have to end the show pretending that we actually give a shit about the fact that Selphie just passed out. (Gets up) Well that concludes the first episode of Kingdom Hearts/ Final Fantasy Theatre! Please, if you have any questions you’d like to ask, submit review with your question! I’ll answer it next episode. (Looks over at Selphie) Just leave her there… (Looks at the camera) I mean! Don’t just leave her there! Do something!

Thank you please come again...

Stay tuned for the next episode!

Don't forget to review!