Title: The Adventures of Ambyr Hyllari Parris

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.

The Real Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.

Ok, I’m serious this time: I don’t own Lord of the Rings, or any of the characters or places mentioned in the books/movies. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien and/or Peter Jackson. Everything I made up in this story (unfortunately) belongs to me. THIS STORY IS A PARODY. It’s something I made up to amuse my friend on the phone one day, and it’s supposed to be making fun of everything I hate about bad fanfiction. I didn’t make any money writing this thing. No one in their right mind would pay me to write it, anyway. For some reason, this story sounds a lot better when you read it while listening to the Tiesto Remix of “He’s a Pirate” (which I also don’t own).

The basics of this parody: The whole story is a parody of a bad LotR fanfiction. It's sheer awfulness is meant to AMUSE you, and should NOT be taken seriously. EVER. The story makes fun of Mary Sues, stories with horrible grammar, and writers that take them selves way too seriously. It was never meant to offend anyone, I'm just having a little fun.

“Hello, my name is Ambyr Hyllari Parris, and I am a normal 15 year old girl. OMG, I love Orlando Bloom. He’s so SEXXXXXXXY (don’t tell my mom I said that word, though). I grew up in London, England and plan to stay there for as long as I live, LOL. At least, I did, until…………………. IT happened. I don’t know why whatever totally mysterious comic forces transported me to that awesome fantasy world, why they chose me, or why it happened at 3:12pm or something, or even why I had to leave… but all I know is that I will never forget what happened to me. NEVER. Like, for as long as I live, I’ll remember this. And I only hope, that someday whatever mysterious forces of mysteriousness that took me to that place will let me return there again…”

-Ambyr Hyllari Parris, in a statement to some Paranormal Investigator guy who came after all the stuff in this story happened.