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Games » Tomb Raider » Back to Prague font: B s : A A A . width: full 3/4 1/2
Author: bm16
Fiction Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Reviews: 19 - Published: 08-07-06 - Updated: 12-09-06 - id:3092284

To avoid some confusion, I suggest that you read The Chronicles of Lara Croft and Harry Potter since some of the characters in that story are in this one and some references from The Chronicles are noted in here as well. You don't have to read the one above if you don't want to. Happy reading all!


Location: Croft Manor, Wimbledon, England

Date: June 13, 2006; Summer

“Why should I trust you? You left me to die!” Lara Croft profoundly yelled at Werner von Croy as she pushed him back down into his lounger by the fireplace. “Sit...and don’t even bother following me.” She turned and headed toward the door to exit von Croy’s Parisian apartment.

As she reached out the grab the knob, she looked over her shoulder and the sight of von Croy clutching a revolver in his hand, pointing it at Lara, made her skin crawl with goose bumps.

She watched his finger pull the trigger but the gun was thrust upward and the bullet hit the ceiling. Lara had previously dove to the floor and rolled away; she now rested on her haunches, her dual pistols drawn, frozen in fear.

Lara looked ahead at von Croy, who groaned in agony and began to fall to the floor. Without thought, Lara dropped her guns and ran to Werner’s aide, catching him before he collided with the hardwood floor. He managed to speak, but only a gasp came from his lips and he then fell limp in Lara’s arms.

She rested him on the floor and stood up, catching a glimpse of her hands. They were covered in blood; von Croy’s blood. Lara panicked; staring at her bloody, red hands.


“Ow, hey! Don’t kick me!” Kurtis Trent called, turning on the bedside lamp. “Lara?”

Lara thrashed under the covers, violently kicking and clutching the sheets in a death grip. Kurtis placed his hand on her shoulder and yelped when she twisted it and puilled a knife from under her pillow and pressed it against his throat. He gulped and Lara retracted the blade.

“What is with you tonight?” Kurtis asked, a bit of shake in his voice.

“Paris,” Lara whispered. “Werner...”

“Lara, Werner’s alive. We saw him in Egypt almost two years ago. Now go back to sleep.”

Lara shook her head. “No. Werner’s dead. He has been...for three years.”

“Lara, I think you’ve lost it.” Kurtis replied, folding the pillow behind his head.

“No I haven’t. He died...in my arms from...horrible gunshot wounds. If he’s dead, then who was it we saw in Egypt?”

The next morning Lara was on the phone contacting the cemetery owner and old friends. She had been awake since dawn and her demanding loudness had wakened the rest of the household.

“I don’t care if it is against your policies. I want Werner von Croy’s grave dug up and I want an autopsy done on his body.” Lara yelled into the phone. Kurtis opened the door and glared. “Do we need to discuss numbers?” Lara violently asked.

Bryce Gibson and his wife, Ahna Oash, opened the door to their bedroom and joined Kurtis’ glares at Lara.

“300,000...400,000...600,000...800,000...listen asshole, you’re going to have to meet me in the middle. 1,000,000 Euros...that’s my last off...good. I’ll be there this evening.” Lara clicked the phone off and looked at the three faces glaring at her.

“What...” Bryce began.

“...was all that racket?” Kurtis finished. “You do realize that people were trying to sleep?”

Lara threw the phone at Kurtis making sure that it bounced off his head. “Ow!” he yelped.

“Lara,” Ahna said in her soft voice, “what is going on with you?”

“Werner’s dead. He has been for the past three years. I’m sure of it.” Lara announced.

“Then who was that in Egypt?” Bryce asked.

“I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” Lara answered.

“Okay,” Ahna said with confusion. “I’m going to make sure the babies are still sleeping.” She ran off to the nursery, leaving Kurtis and Bryce to deal with Lara’s insane notion that von Croy was dead.

Lara headed down the stairs, immediately followed by two boxer clad men with terry cloth robes and slippers.

“Then who was that on the phone?” Bryce asked.

“Mr. Wilson...head of the cemetery,” Lara answered as if it explained everything.

“And?” Kurtis pestered.

“And...” Lara began entering Bryce’s computer lab. “...I had to pay him off in order to get Werner’s grave dug up and have a coroner perform a series of tests on his body.”

“Lara,” Kurtis said, “I think you’re...”

“...blowing this way out of proportion.” Bryce finished. The glare Lara gave him made Bryce think otherwise of his statement. He looked at Lara who had began rummaging through the gun cabinet. “Um, what are you doing?”

“Looking for something,” Lara snapped throwing guns, ammo, clips, and other various items to the floor from the cabinet.

Kurtis flinched every time a pistol clattered to the floor. He feared that one of them wouldn’t have the safety locked and it would go off and shoot him or Bryce in the foot or head.

“Lara!” Kurtis cried, getting her to stop for a moment. “You’re going to kill someone.”

“The safety’s on them,” Lara barked returning to the cabinet. “It’s not like one of them is going to go off.” She tossed a Desert Eagle and it clattered to the floor shooting a hole in the ceiling. Bryce and Kurtis dropped to the floor, covering their heads.

“The safety’s on! It’s not like one of them is going to go off!” Kurtis mimicked. “See? You almost killed us!”

Bryce looked up at the ceiling. There was a hole the size of a dime and the elegant China light was hanging by a wire, sparking.

“Great,” he said, “now the house is going to burn down.” At that, the light fell down and landed on Bryce’s computer. “Gah!”

Lara winced. “Oops...sorry Bryce.”

Bryce ran to his computer to assess the damage. “It’s nothing bad; just a few broken keys but it’s not like those are hard to find.”

“Glad to see things haven’t changed much since I left here,” a voice from behind called.

Lara, Kurtis, and Bryce turned around and looked upon a black man in jeans and a wife beater top exposing huge muscles. Kurtis gulped.

“Zip,” Lara beamed. “So glad you could come on such short notice.”

“I was in the neighborhood,” Zip replied. “Um...who the hell is this and why is he in my lab?”

Bryce looked around the room and then stared Zip in the face. “Your lab? This is my lab!”

“But who the hell are you?” Zip asked again dropping some bags on the floor with a thud.

“I’m her technology man!” Bryce cried. “Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Lara’s technology man.” Zip answered.

Ahna walked into the room and stopped in mid-step when she eyed the new comer. “Hi, I’m Ahna. You would be?”

“Apparently he’s Lara’s technology man,” Kurtis stated leaning again the wall. “The situation is quite amusing, actually.”

“But...”Ahna said, “...Bryce is the technology genius.”

Lara decided she owed the group an explanation. “Zip used to be my computer specialist and gadget whiz.”

“’Ello all!” a man with a British accent said from behind them. He wore a burgundy suit and tinted glasses.

“And who the hell is this?” Kurtis asked. “Another one of your lovers?”

Water flew out of Zip’s mouth at Kurtis’ comment. “You’re kidding...right?”

“Everyone, meet Alister Fletcher.” Lara said giving her old friend a hug. “Alister, this is...everyone...Kurtis, Ahna, Bryce, and you know Zip.”

“Lara, you still didn’t answer my question,” Kurtis impatiently said.

“Yes I did. Now shut it!” Lara barked.

A loud wail came over the baby monitor that Ahna held in her hand. “That’s both of them. I’ll go check on them.”

“You have twins?” Zip asked cleaning up the mess he made earlier.

“No, I have one...a boy,” Ahna replied. “The girl is Lara’s.” She turned and disappeared around the corner.

Alister and Zip glared at Lara in silence for a few moments. “Um...you have a...child?” they both managed to gasp out.

“Yes,” Lara answered.

“The woman who said she would never have children has a baby girl?” Alister questioned.

“You know, for a historian, you’re not so smart,” Zip told Alister.

Alister just eyed him and turned his attention to Kurtis who was glaring at the two men, envy in his eyes. “Who’s the gent in the boxers, leaning against the wall, giving us threatening looks?”

“That’s Kurtis,” Lara answered.

Zip leaned forward. “Oh yeah...that explains a lot.” Lara glared. “What’s with the huge scar on his stomach? Did you shoot him? Did he fall victim to one of your bullets?”

Kurtis smirked. “It was a giant, mutant-fly lady. Besides, a scar is much better than those ‘barcode’ tattoos you have on your shoulder. What’s that all about?”

Zip opened his mouth to speak when Lara chimed in instead. “Let’s not start focusing on the personality flaws just yet. Winston has breakfast prepared in the dining hall, so why don’t we just go down there and eat like ‘civilized’ beings.”

“Winston’s still here?” Alister questioned. “Ah, it’ll be good to see the ol’ chap again.”

“You never could talk like a normal person, could ya?” Zip asked.

“Oh do shut-up,” Alister sneered.

“You ended that in a preposition,” Zip teased.

“It was acting like a verb by telling you how to shut it,” Alister corrected.

Lara rolled her eyes and Kurtis shook his head. “See, I told you it’d be a bad idea to re-open the von Croy case.” He reminded.


“So, Alister,” Ahna said. “Lara told me you’ve spent time at Oxford.”

“Yes,” Alister beamed. “Last time I saw her I was still working on my dissertation. Poor ol’ gents at Oxford still couldn’t accept my beliefs, so I quit...gave up on the matter. I spent the last five years in the states, at Harvard. They didn’t care much for my beliefs either, but accepted my dissertation.” Zip yawned. “Oh, do I bore you with my talk? Why don’t you say something, Zip.”

Zip eyed Alister. “No thanks.”

“Oh come on Zip,” Ahna encouraged. “Alister shared something of his.”

Zip blankly stared at Ahna. “Well...gadgets, I specialize in them.”

Ahna set down her glass. “Oh?”

“I’m not real comfortable...tell us something about you, Ahna.” Zip rapidly changed the subject.

“Your accent...its British?” Alister asked.

“Actually, it’s Atlantian,” Ahna corrected. Blank stares from the two newbie’s made her realize they needed further explanation. “I’m from Atlantis. It’s in the Mediterranean...well, under it. It’s quite lovely.”

Alister was in shock. He looked as though he’d go into cardiac arrest any moment. “After thousands of years of studies and the myth...basic beliefs...Atlantis does exist. It’s not fiction; no longer a bed time story for wear children. Lara, this is more exciting than King Arthur’s tomb.”

“Ahna doesn’t talk about her home much,” Lara informed. “Personal matters.”

Kurtis continued glaring at Zip and Alister, thinking. He was positive that Lara had to have slept with at least one of them, if not both. From the secrets their minds revealed to him, he hadn’t found anything about intimacy with Lara, but he was determined to keep searching for his answers. He snapped out of it when Lara kicked him under the table.

“OW! What was the point of that?” Kurtis asked.

“Alister asked you a question,” Lara told him.

“And that would be?”

“I asked how you know Lara,” Alister said.

“Oh, I know Lara. Probably a hell of a lot better than you do.” Kurtis answered.

“I meant...when did you two meet?” Alister informed.

“Oh! Um...about three years ago in Paris. She was causing trouble in the ghetto, bringing the police around with her being accused of murdering von Croy,” Kurtis explained.

“That was you Lara?” Zip asked. “I heard about von Croy and some mystery woman who killed him back in the states.”

Lara ignored the statement and Kurtis continued. “Anyway, long story short, this dude, Eckhardt, wanted to take over the world with the Nephilim race, blah blah blah, we go in with Alex West to take this guy out. Alex goes down, I get ran through by Boaz...that’s the mutant fly, and Lara subdues Eckhardt.” Kurtis smiled winningly and then shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth.


“So what do you think of Mr. I’ve-gone-to-Oxford and Mr. Barcode?” Bryce asked Ahna.

“I think Alister and Zip are just fine.” Ahna answered stepping from the shower and wrapped a towel around her. She rested her hands on Bryce’s shoulders and rubbed them. “Relax. Lara wouldn’t have asked them here if she didn’t need their help.”

“It’s just so...what makes him think he’s a better technology man than me? He’s not one of the gang.” Bryce complained.

“They were way before you and I came along. Heck, they were way before Kurtis came into Lara’s life. But if you stop wining about it, I’ll make you feel like one of the gang later tonight.” Ahna gestured.

“No thanks...I’m just not in the mood,” Bryce said.

Ahna removed her hands from his shoulders, crossed her arms over her chest, and met Bryce’s eyes in the mirror. “I just offered you sex and you turned it down? You don’t want to have sex with me? You always want to.”

Bryce turned around in the vanity seat. “I’m just not in the mood. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Well I might not be in the mood tomorrow,” Ahna kindly snapped. Bryce rolled his eyes. “This is about Zip, isn’t it?”


Does Bryce seem to be jealousof Zip?


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