The Wonderful Wizard of Princeton Plainsboro Teach Hospital

By Jenniffer Butterfly

Disclaimer: I don't own House or The Wizard of Oz. I do own the character of Scopo and The Ruby Red Nikes.

Summary: It’s like the wizard of oz, but housified! Also, for the purpose of this story and because I think this fact is correct to begin with, House’s office is on 4th floor in the Witherspoon wing. Character death… it’s ok though. It’s just Mark.

Chapter 1- I Quit!

“House I don’t want to do clinic duty!” Chase yelled in the head diagnostician’s office. He was wearing his lab coat and had a stethoscope around his neck. The stethoscope was his father’s and although him and his father didn’t get along he treasured this last piece of him. Chase even named the thing ‘Scopo’.

House rolled his eyes and glared at Chase, “Well you know what? That is to bad! You’re my bitch and I’m telling you to do my clinic duty hours!” he yelled back in protest.

Chase gave him an evil glower before walking into the conference room. Like hell he was going to do House’s hours! Meanwhile Cameron was at the computer checking her email and Foreman was at the conference table daydreaming. When Chase walked in Cameron looked up from her computer and Foreman snapped out of his daydreaming. The two doctors shared a look before Cameron turned to Chase, “So, uh Chase. How are you?” she asked.

Chase eyed the suspicious immunologist, “I am fine,” he said while trying to study her. Cameron and Foreman shared another look of concern. This made Chase more at unease, “ok, what’s going on you two?” he asked.

Another worried look was shared. Foreman sighed and began to open his mouth so he could spill his guts but he got interrupted. Stacy burst in through the conference room door, “House get in here!” she yelled while marching in.

House stood up from his desk and hobbled into the room, “What is it Stacy? Are you now here to tell me you do want a relationship?” House said teasingly. Stacy put her hands on her hips and glared at House. He responded with a smirk knowing he got to her.

“No,” Stacy said short toned, “I am here for an intervention!”

House instantly rolled his eyes, “Damn it! I don’t have a vicoden addiction! Why does everybody think that?” House snapped at Stacy. After that he pondered for a moment, “Oh yeah, because I am always popping pills.”

Stacy groaned and rolled her eyes, “I’m not here for you Greg! Honestly get your head out of your ass. You know you aren’t the only one in this room. But as long as I am yelling at you I might as well tell you that you need to get that book shelf fixed!” she said pointing to the afore mentioned bookshelf, “A book can easily fall off from top shelf and hit somebody in the head. That’s just a law suit waiting to happen!”

House just rolled his eyes and walked over to the coffee pot. Chase looked at Cameron and Foreman. Neither of them looked at him or Stacy. Oh yeah, something was up. They obviously know why Stacy really was here. Chase suddenly started growing more nervous by the second. First Cameron acting weird when he showed up and then her and Foreman wont look at him or Stacy. He looked at Stacy very warily, “Um, Stacy. Why are you here?” he asked.

Stacy sighed, “I am here for that.” She said pointing to Chase’s stethoscope. This caused the Australian’s hands to immediately shoot up and clutch his beloved Scopo. Stacy continued, “That thing is over thirty years old. It’s a lawsuit waiting to happen! I need to take it and have it destroyed.” She said. Slowly she started to creep towards Chase.

Chase countered her approach by walking backwards, “House tell her my stethoscope is fine. She doesn’t need to take it.” He said almost pleading to his boss. His hands never left Scopo.

House looked up from the counter and turned around holding a cup of coffee. He looked at Stacy before looking at Chase, “Chase, if she says it needs to go then it needs to go.” he said.

“Oh don’t give me that crap! You wouldn’t listen to her on any other occasion!” Chase yelled, “You know what? This is the final straw! I’m no longer working for you. Not when you’re a dick and allow her to try and take Scopo! I’m out of here!” Chase yelled and with that he ran out of the conference room door.

House and the gang watched him leave. Everybody was left in a minute of shock before House finally broke the silence, “He named it Scopo?”

Chase wandered the halls aimlessly and not once did he take his hand off of his beloved Scopo. He ended never leaving the fourth floor, which diagnostics is on, he just moseyed around its halls. At one point Chase turned the corner and saw a familiar face standing at the nurse’s station. It was Cuddy and if there was one person to go to for advice it was her, “Hi Dr. Cuddy.” He said.

Cuddy looked up from her paper work, “Oh hello Dr. Chase. What are you up too?” she asked. She then handed a file to the nurse sitting in front of her.

“Well,” Chase said, “I actually am having a bad time. Can we talk?”

Cuddy smiled, “Sure. Let’s go for a stroll.” She said. The two of them walked the halls for the next ten minutes while Chase let the cat out of the bag. Cuddy faithfully followed by his side while nodding. On a couple of occasions she wanted to ask if he really named his stethoscope but then thought better of it. Eventually he finished and Cuddy sighed, “Well that does seem like a dilemma.” She said.

“You see why I have to leave now Dr. Cuddy!” Chase said in reply.

“Yes, but do you know what your departure would do to House?” Cuddy asked. She had put on the motherly tone that she often used for comfort.

Chase scoffed, “Probably celebrate. He doesn’t like me anyhow.”

“That isn’t true Chase. He does like you, though he has a very funny way of showing it. He needs you Chase. Who else would do his clinic duty?” Cuddy said. Inside she was yelling disapproval for this. House needed to do his own hours! Nonetheless it was part of her plan to make Chase feel better.

“He could always get Foreman.” Chase said, “He has done that before.” Cuddy was starting to bring up some good points but he was determined to prove her wrong.

“Chase, he asked you first and that means something. I think he wants you to do it because he needs you more than the others.” Cuddy said, “Not Foreman or Cameron, but you.”

Chase sighed and took his hands off of his stethoscope, “Maybe you’re right. Thank you Dr. Cuddy.” Chase said. Cuddy smiled, told him he was welcome and then let him leave.

Chase ran around the halls as quickly as he could. He knew he had to get back to Diagnostics. He just had to! When he arrived the conference room was empty, “House? Cameron? Foreman…?” he called. Chase wandered the conference room for a minute before stopping by the bookcase. After Chase had determined they were not in here he sighed and leaned against the bookcase. The potential lawsuit started wobbling and Chase immediately straightened up. He looked up in horror seeing it was about to come down. Chase was about to jump out of the way but it was to late, a thick book from top shelf fell off and conked him in the head. Chase fell to the floor and passed out a moment later.

Author’s Note: I know, I said on Monday but I figured why not? You guys are great readers and deserve this now. By the way, this story has been brewing in my mind for about 3 months now. Thank God I am finally putting it into writing after asking my friends if I should go ahead and write it. Hopefully it will stop bugging me now that I have let it loose from the depths of my mind! Anyhow, reviews are gifts from God. I treasure them almost as much as I treasure you guys.

Next Chapter: Follow The Yellow Linoleum