Well, here comes my first Athrun/Nicol fic. Athrun and Nicol are both difficul characters (at least for me, anyway), so I might have trouble with their characterization. Please look over minor ooc-ness, but warn me for major ones.

This fic is dedicated to reckless-rage, one of my reviewers for "The Worst Day of His Life". She requested for a fic with Athrun as the main character, and well, here it is. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: If and only if I owned Gundam Seed, I would not have killed Nicol. And Strike Rouge would not have been pink (I'm sorry but I just don't like that color, and plus, doesn't rouge mean red? Sorry if I'm wrong...).

Smart, graceful, charismatic, confident, always sure of what he was doing… Athrun radiated a kind of light, and people could not help but to be attracted to the blue-haired youth. Silent and thoughtful, yet active and a strong speaker at the same time. Successful in anything and everything he tried…

Athrun Zala was seemingly perfect, flawless. Athrun was what he wanted to be, and what everyone else had expected him to be. Athrun was his idol.

He never fathomed he could ever talk to Athrun. He had half considered Athrun as a deity that lived outside of his world. Athrun seemed to have some kind of holiness within, and he didn’t consider himself worthy to talk to someone like that.

xoxox

Nicol was everything he wasn’t and couldn’t be.

Gentle, warm, friendly, cared so much for the others… The mere presence of Nicol was warm and comforting. Nicol somehow managed to be nice to everyone, no matter how despicable that person was. There was deep understanding in those soft brown eyes, a quality he wished he had too.

Nicol Amarfi was someone everyone could feel at home with. Nicol was what he wanted to be, but what everyone else damned him from becoming.

He was never allowed to let gentleness creep into his ways. He had to be strong, since it was ‘not the nature of a soldier or politician’ to show someone kindness. He envied and admired Nicol for being so innocent; the kind of innocence different from ignorance. He considered himself too tainted to be close with it.

xoxox

Both hadn’t expected to ever talk with the other, since they believed they were unworthy of the other’s attention. But fate decided to pull them together in the most undignified, ironic way possible. Not that the two ever regretted it though.

Athrun and Nicol were the two youngest in the ZAFT Military Academy, but they were still much better than most of their older classmates. In fact, Athrun was the best, and though Nicol didn’t have Athrun’s capability, he was still a ‘given’ future-ZAFT Red. They were both sons of members from the Council. Their good looks and amiable personality attracted the few female students, and though Nicol remained oblivious to this fact, they both had a secret fan club sort of thing.

The other male students didn’t find this amusing. Soon enough, the two found themselves social outcasts in the academy, with no one to talk to or hang out with. They were constantly followed by cold gazes and sarcastic comments. Athrun quickly got used to it, since he was used to this kind of treatment. Just think of it as an extension of his personal life.

Nicol was another case. It was the first time he received such hostility, and he really had no idea why. He was used to being happy, surrounded by friends, and staying in a warm atmosphere. That was how he was raised. Unlike Athrun, who was able to cope with the change, Nicol started failing in all aspects of his life.

They both received occasional beatings from older students. There wouldn’t be a day when Athrun or Nicol was completely bruise-free, but everyone pretended not to notice. Nicol constantly had a scared look in his once-gentle eyes, and even Athrun was starting to act devoid of emotion.

They still didn’t talk to each other, afraid of rejection.

xoxox

It was only about a month later that they came face to face with each other.

A few older students had called Nicol to an empty classroom during lunch for a ‘talk’. Or so they said it. In reality, they just wanted to beat the crap out of him…solely for fun…and Nicol knew it too. He had wasted countless other lunchtimes like that. A refusal just meant more beatings, so he obliged, hoping it wouldn’t cost him the whole break.

An unfriendly shove threw him to a nearby table, but he hardly felt the physical pain. His anger and hatred were closing up to their limit. And when he usually kept his mouth shut, on that day, he decided to talk back.

The result? A huge bruise on his stomach and left thigh, a badly twisted wrist, a small bruise on his chin, and a bleeding cut above his right eye. Nicol felt like bursting into sarcastic laughter, loathing his own weakness, when a sharp voice brought him back to the real world.

“Hey! What are you doing?”
Nicol immediately recognized the voice to be Athrun’s. He cringed thinking how pathetic he must look at the moment.
“Pretty boy, get out of here!”
One of the students shouted, making very unfriendly gestures. Athrun scanned through the whole room, not quite understanding everything…when he saw Nicol on the floor.

“What the…”
“Or you wanna be beaten up too?”
“You are all sick. Your thoughts are so low, that is why you will always stay at the bottom.”
Athrun’s voice was filled with menace, and his fists were clenched at his sides.
“You…”
“I’m right, am I not? You get out now and leave that boy alone, then I won’t tell on you. For this once only.”
The last sentence was a low hiss. The other students knew they touched a nerve, so they left the room swearing.

“Nicol? Nicol Amarfi, right?”
Athrun said as he ran over to the younger boy. It was not as if he didn’t know who Nicol was; in fact, he had been chasing Nicol forever with his eyes, but he needed something to start the conversation.
“Are you okay?”
Apparently he was anything but okay, but it was another thing to keep the conversation going. Nicol just looked confused, and looked at Athrun with scared eyes. Nicol had never thought he would ever talk to Athrun, and he didn’t know why Athrun even knew his name.

“W…why?”
“Huh?”
“My name. You know my name.”
“Oh, uh… We are in the same class. I’m Athrun Zala, by the way.”
“I know. Who doesn’t?”
Of course they knew about each other. Considering how much time they spent observing the other, it was a miracle how their gazes never met.

“Well… Let’s go to the clinic. You’re pretty bruised up.”
Athrun said uneasily, and they both walked to the clinic in awkward silence. It was soon replaced by Athrun’s anger when Nicol showed him all the bruises and scars. Athrun went on a short speech about how Nicol didn’t deserve this, that it wasn’t his fault he was so smart, and he was responsible for nothing. Athrun was enraged to see the innocence he admired tainted in such an evil way.

Nicol broke into tears right then and there. It had been a while since anyone gave him that much attention, and Athrun sounded sincere. He suddenly felt safe, and the tension he built inside himself broke off. Soon a pair of arms pulled him into a brotherly embrace, and there they sat for the entire break.

After that, they were often seen together. They were both uneasy at first, being so close to the ones they admired, but soon it turned to plain comfort and a sense of security. They talked about anything and everything, and they were surprised to find out the other wasn’t what they thought they were. Athrun wasn’t the perfectly composed boy Nicol thought him to be. Nicol wasn’t the oh-so-innocent boy Athrun thought him to be. In fact, Athrun had a habit to be overly indecisive at times, and Nicol had a dark and manipulative side only noticeable through intense observation.

Athrun and Nicol were just normal teenagers after all, with their own faults and insecurities. No matter how they might have appeared to others, they suffered from what everyone else in the world suffered from.

That discovery didn’t diminish their admiration for each other. No, they looked up to each other more, except not in their old ‘his-holiness’ sort of way. They were immensely amazed at how the other was able to act the way they did, now that they knew who the other really was.

Now that they finally got into enjoying their school life, time seemed to fly by. They eventually met up with Yzak, Dearka and Rusty, who also didn’t fit in for their exceptional grades. Well, Rusty actually did; he was too irresistibly funny and care-free for anyone to hate him. As for Yzak and Dearka, they couldn’t have cared less what other people thought. They were the best of friends, and they were happy (no matter how unbelievable that was on Yzak’s part) as long as they had each other. They lived in their own world, Rusty once said.

The five of them just became ‘one happy family’ as Rusty phrased it. Or ‘a group of crazy bastards’ as Yzak phrased it. But really, deep down it was ‘Athrun and Nicol’ and ‘Yzak and Dearka’ and an occasional Rusty.

Either way, they usually went together, making stupid jokes and talking about senseless things. They were all friends (as unbelievable as it was on Yzak and Athrun’s case) who more or less cared about each other.

Not a month had passed when Athrun and Nicol started seeing the other in a different light. Like, how Nicol’s expression became so calm and beautiful when he played the piano. Or how Athrun’s hair partly shadowed his eyes when he looked down, giving him a spellbinding atmosphere. Or how they felt so awkward when the other was talking…and smiling at someone else. The admiration had turned into something deeper, something there was no escaping from…Something they knew was a sin.

Athrun had fallen for Nicol, and Nicol had fallen for Athrun.