For some reason or another which majority of the students failed to understand, the academic day commenced the next morning like usual.

It was only natural that all of the classes were only half full, at the most.

Nicol had woken up and gone to school feeling like a machine. A machine who did not have the ability to choose or to think. The only thought that got through to his head was, so many students had a dead look in their eyes that day. He failed to realize he too looked like that.

Those were the dire consequences of war, as the youths once ambitious soldiers-to-be realized overnight. To become a soldier meant to fight a war. To fight a war meant to kill. To kill meant to make the families of the victims go through a living hell.

To kill meant to completely erase the existence of someone.
To kill meant to make so much more people devoid.
To kill the Naturals they were fighting in the war meant, to these youths, to remember this day and the emotional turmoil they were experiencing every time they pointed a gun at their enemy. Every time they destroyed a mobile suit. Every time they bombed the Earth. Every time they did anything that defined them as a soldier.
To kill meant to remember, somewhere deep down in their hearts, that the people who loved that person would hate them with such intensity.

They had just realized that the path they so eagerly took led to that.

The air that filled the academy was no clearer that it was yesterday. In fact, it was even more suffocating. Maybe it was the guilt for surviving, or not losing anyone close in the tragedy, or for being powerless children. Maybe it was that blaring anger that just would not go away. Or maybe it was that heart wrenching sorrow for the loss of everything.

It probably was the fear. It could be them next time. Or they could shoot nuclear missiles and annihilate the whole PLANTS.

And the soon-to-be-soldiers, even though they realized the horrific deeds they were about to do, had no wish to stop fighting. Because to stop fighting meant to make them vulnerable to the dangers. It meant to accept the Naturals killing them and their loved ones without a word.

They were at a point where they were willing to pay any price to protect their world.

The hallways were filled noise. It may have been people talking, lamenting, whatever, but it only registered as noise in Nicol’s head.

He even scowled mechanically at the unpleasant sounds buzzing in his ear. It was just horribly wrong. All of it.

Then he finally realized he had not yet seen Athrun that whole day.

xoxox

Athrun on the other hand, was now out of the clinic and back in his room. That was where the improvement stopped, though. He had been sitting on his bunk since then, his mind completely zoned out. Everything was faded and fuzzy…and it wasn’t all too bad. It was better than having to face the fact that his mother had died in such a brutal way, and by no means could he even see her dead body again.

Oh great, he thought of it again. He felt something rise in his chest and involuntarily looked around for something to throw up on…but when he realized that only the burning sensation of acid reached his throat and nothing else, he almost started laughing hysterically. He already had thrown up everything, hadn’t he?

He didn’t have enough energy left for laughing, but a cynical smile did manage to get to him.

Fuck this.

Then he darted to his desk, grabbed the picture frame with the only picture of his whole family in it, and threw it on the ground. The glass shattered into a million different pieces, but that was the whole point. It didn’t really matter. He didn’t care about jabbing his feet onto a floor full of glass pieces, and his roommate had left last night because his older brother had died.

He was going to rip the picture into pieces too, when something happened and he just couldn’t do it. He left that piece of paper on the floor and packed his bag unwillingly. Going to class was probably the only way to keep him out of this endless misery-loop he found himself in.

xoxox

“Athrun…”
The blue head almost missed the faint voice that caught him at the hallway. He certainly would have ignored it if it had not been Nicol’s. He turned around wearily, trying not to notice the pang of hurt in his heart at…whatever he felt hurt for. He did not know what. He did not care.
“…What, Nicol?”
The words came out of his mouth a lot sharper than he might have liked. He felt a cold double-edged sword slither back to his conscience. Nicol flinched a little, but continued in an unexpectedly steady voice.
“If… If you ever need anything, feel free to ask, okay?”
Athrun smiled, hoping he didn’t look as sarcastic as he was feeling. That line might have made his day at any other given day. Just not now. Not that day.

It pained him to realize how empty words really could sound. It pained him all the more because he knew Nicol, of all people, would have meant it sincerely.

Whatever word he might have emptily returned was cut off by the classroom bell ringing loudly in their ear. And for once, Athrun was glad to get away from those gentle, sincere, pure hazel eyes that bore right through his torn up soul.

He started to resume the act of walking when he abruptly bumped into someone. Cursing at the fact that he failed to look up from the floor while walking, he started an automated apology…
“You freakin’ idiot!”
Which he never got to finish. Before he knew it, his collar was grabbed by that someone and he was staring right into piercing blue orbs that were flashing angrily.

“Yzak…”
“You fuckin’ bastard!”
Yzak was shaking him so violently that he didn’t even bother to respond. As if he wasn’t feeling apathetic enough; he did not need his so called friend shouting at him.

“You…you…”
As the shaking gradually stopped, Athrun looked up coldly at Yzak. The silver haired flinched a little, while Athrun said in an equally cold voice.
“What do you want? I’m going to be late for class.”
“I know that!”
“Then what?”
Athrun didn’t mean to sound so indifferent. Yes, there was a deep-seated rivalry between the two…but they were still part of that ‘one big happy family’ which was starting to fall apart. But something inside him had snapped with Junius 7.

“…Don’t go around looking like that!”
“Like what?”
Yzak glared at him and shoved him into the bathroom, which coincidentally was right beside them. He then literally pushed Athrun’s face into the mirror.
“Your eyes are dead.”
Athrun wearily looked at his own reflection, and felt a coldness run down his spine.

His eyes were dead. They were empty and unfocused, and was even a little bit glazed. There was no life in them whatsoever.

“Come on…”
Yzak’s voice suddenly broke, and desperation was clearly etched into it. Then Athrun realized that this was the hot-headed boy’s way of comforting him somehow. And it had worked, a little. The realization seemed to have stuck his soul back at the back of his eyes.
“…Thanks.”
He left a soft word of gratitude as he resumed the act of going to class.

Lenore Zala was dead. He had lost his mother.

But he was still alive. And that mattered.

Wow, okay. So this was totally unplanned. I have no idea how this will even slightly resemble the story line I first had in mind. If this is totally different from what anyone had ever expected, let me tell you I'm probably as...if not more surprised than all of you.

As usual, thanks to all my readers, especially my reviewers... Thanks for being patient to get this...short chapter, so to say.