Jerry Springer: FFVII

Cloud sighed as he prepared himself for the most toughest thing he had ever done, appear on the Jerry Springer show. Tifa had said she had to say something to Cloud on this show. So Cloud got ready for this, sword in hand. A security guard went over.

"I'm sorry sir. But you can't have that here." He said. Cloud nodded and put it down. The red light blinked, signaling him to the stage. He walked into the stage to the shouts of, "JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" He sat down on the cushy seat he was offered.

"Welcome to this episode of Jerry Springer. On today's episode we have Cloud here. But apparently his girlfriend Tifa wants to tell him something important." Jerry said with his usual voice. Cloud got up.

"HEY! Tifa is not my girlfriend. "Right sport. We know." Jerry said, ignoring the Chocobo head. "So anyway, Cloud, is that a nickname?" Jerry asked. Cloud sifted in his seat. "Um, no. My mother gave me that name." Cloud said. Jerry nodded. "And how does that make you feel?" Jerry asked. Cloud shrugged. "I think she called me Cloud cause…-" "Oh, wait! Tifa wants to come and tell you her secret." Jerry said.

Tifa came out as the crowd booed at her. She looked confused.

"What did I do?" She asked the crowd. One man in the crowd held up and poster with his phone number for her. Tifa wrote it down quickly and put it in her pocket. She then sat down. "Okay then Tifa. Tell us about your abnormal breast size." Jerry said. Tifa looked at him, confused. "I thought I was here to tell Cloud something." Tifa said. Jerry sighed. "Fine then, tell Cloud what you need to say. Then tell us about your breasts."

Tifa turned to Cloud. "Okay, Cloud Aeris is not dead." Cloud's eyes widened. "I'm sorry. What?" He asked. Tifa shook her head. "Yes, Aeris is not dead. She faked her death so she could get away from you." Cloud shook his head in disbelief. "But why?" Tifa smiled "Cause she and I are together." Seeing this as his cue, Jerry woke up. "Okay then, time to bring out Aeris."

Aeris came out, waving to the crowd who booed her. She started to cry as they threw birth control at her. Aeris sat down on the chair. Tifa went over and sat on her lap to kiss her. The crowd cheered at the lesbian moment. Cloud stood up. "GODDAMNIT TIFA, just like with Zack!" He said, picking up a chair and throwing it at Tifa. Jerry ignored the fight to turn to his viewers. "Okay, lets take a commercial break. Until then, take care of yourselves."