Chapter THREE

Yeah, sorry it took me so annoyingly long for me to update... I mean...I last updated this story August of last year. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!

I'm sorry :D

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Malfoy raised an amused eyebrow at 'Hermione' as she uncharacteristically cracked her knuckles loudly. Ron winced at the sound.

"Im dead?" He laughed, "Crabe, Goyle, can you believe this?"

Dumb and Dumber shook their heads before laughing stupidly.

"Please. Granger, if you really want to fight, take out your wand. As a girl, physically its impossible for you to beat m-"

KAPOW! (comic book effect!)

Draco Malfoy flew backwards, zooming between Crabe and Goyle before hitting the ground and rolling backwards a couple times before stopping.

Skie blinked. Whoa. Hermione's got a bit more muscle in her arms than the books describe. She thought to herself, staring at her fist unblinkingly.

Rons jaw dropped, Harry just shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

Malfoy shot up, blood dripping from his nose. "Wh-How did-ARGH!" he roared, tearing his wand from his cloak pocket and pointing it at her.

"Yuh-oh." she yelped. Crud! Cmon Skie! Remember a spell! Any spell! She fumbled around for her own wand frantically as the blond advanced furiously. "STUPID WAND! Where is it?!" she roared.

Ron leaned over to her, taking her wand from its spot behind her ear and handing it to her before leaning away.

"Ah. Thank you! Now..." she stared blankly at the advancing Draco. Not remembering a single spell. WHY couldnt she? Gawd this was annoying. Hes probably gonna turn me into a snake too. Thatd be kind of cool though. I could bite him. But what if he turns me into a slug?! She panicked, and then remembered the spell Ron cast on himself where he...coughed them up. A scene from the first Harry Potter movie flooded her mind just as Draco was raising his wand dramatically.

She pointed the wand at him, "PETRIFICUS TOTALIS!" she roared, thinking of nothing but avoiding coughing up slugs.

The spell struck Malfoy dead on and he stiffened up like a board and crashed to the grass.

Skie strode by the stunned-silent Crabe and Goyle and grinned down at him, "HAH! In your FACE!" she laughed, pointing at Malfoy before walking in circles around him. "I won, I won. How did THAT feel? Oooh, BUUUURN!" she laughed again.

At this time, everyone present was staring at her. Who was this girl and what had she done with Hermione?

Ron and Harry ran over, each one of them grabbing one of Skies arms, and then sprinting away, dragging her along with them.

.o O o.

Once they reached the Gryffindor Common Room, they let go. Ron spun around, and was the first to say something. "That was BRILLIANT!" he shouted, throwing his arms in the air. "You creamed that pansy right into the dirt!"

Skie mocked a curtsey. "Thank you, thank you," she said.

"Are you kidding?! Shes going to get Hermione in huge trouble!" Harry said, interrupting Skie and Rons little 'yay' moment.

Skie crossed her arms behind her back, scuffing her shoe on the floor, "Sorry..." she said. "Its just new here. I'll adjust. I promise." she said.

"I dont want you adjusting! I want Hermione back here safe and sound," Harry sighed. "Any idea how to get her back here and you...back wherever you came from?

Skie thought for a moment, crossing her arms in front of her now and staring up at the high ceiling. "Hmm...nope. Sorry." she said guiltily.

Harry sighed again, "Dont worry. Well figure something out. Right Ron?"

"Sure. Now...about where you came from..." Ron said, grinning eagerly.

A pair of hands dropped on her shoulders, making Skie jump and let out a little "Eep!" She turned to see both Fred and George had a hand on her shoulder.

"'Ello Hermione!" Fred grinned.

"We heard about your little fight with Malfoy earlier," George said.

"And we have to say," Fred interjected.

"It was fantastic!" George cheered.

Skie waved an arm, "Bah. It was nothing. That blond freak had it comin'." she grinned, and couldnt help but feel a bit proud.

The twins looked at her, "Are you sick?" Fred asked. "Your voice sounds a bit different." George stated.

"Well, thats because..." she paused, glancing at Harry and Ron for permission to tell them.

They shrugged, "Sure, why not". Ron said, "Just dont tell anyone, you two!" he said, half-glaring at his twins.

"Ooh! Is it something juicy or what?" the twins grinned.

"Not exactly. My voice sounds different, because..."

.o O o.

"So, the person whos body Im in is a girl who is from another world besides this one, you all are pirates trying to reach this Grand Line to find the treasure One Piece left behind by Golden Roger, the King of Pirates. And youre Luffy, the captain, Nami the Navigator, Zoro the First-Mate, Sanji the Chef (who is in the kitchen right now...), and Usopp the Marksman." Hermione said in one breath without skipping a beat.

"Yep!" Luffy chirped.

"Think you can remember all that?" Nami asked.

"Yes." Hermione said, her tone sounding slightly offended. Of course she could remember it!

Nami smiled and handed her a large book, with the simple title ‘Geography of the World’ on the front. Hermione thanked her and sat by the mast, opening to the first page.

“Her-my-oh-nee-Chaan!” Sanji called, appearing in the kitchen doorway, “I made you some lunch if you’re hungry!” he called, a wide grin on his face.

“Mmm hmm…” Hermione nodded, not looking up from the large book. She was already so into it she didn’t hear him.

Sanji grinned again and disappeared back into the kitchen.

“Hey Hermione! Hey Hermione! Hey Hermione! Hey Hermione! Hey Hermione! Hey Hermione! Hey Hermione! Hey Hermio-”

“Yes?” Hermione looked up at Luffy, who was trying to get her attention. She looked slightly irritated, but patient.

“Can you really do magic?” he asked eagerly.

“Of course!” she said, wanting to get back to her book.

“Can you do some magic right now? Please? Pleeease?” he begged.

“I can’t. I don’t have my wand.” she stated. “Plus, I’m in a muggle’s body.”

Luffy blinked.

“No.” she shook her head, “Sorry.”

“Awww!” Luffy sulked to the kitchen, was kicked out of the kitchen, and then sulked to his favorite seat on the ship.

Hermione shook her head and continued reading up about this new world she was in. Half of her really didn’t believe it. That this was all just some big prank. But why on earth would someone want to pull such an elaborate joke on her? It was probably a dream then. A really weird, one. And it felt so real. Unless, of course, this actually was happening.

Hermione found her mind wandering away from the book, and wondering what the girl she had replaced was doing right now…

.o O o.

“You’re a PIRATE?” the four Gryffindor boys gasped.

“That’s right! Official Straw Hat Pirate! On the search for One Piece, hidden treasure of Gold Roger, past King of the Pirates!” Skie struck a pose.

“So, do you go around doing piratey things?” Ron asked.

“You mean stuff like raiding, pillaging, and plundering? Nah.” Skie shook her head. “My crew aren’t those kind of pirates.”

“What kind of pirates are they?” Harry asked.

“Well…Lemme tell you about my crew. First, there’s our Captain, Monkey D. Luffy. He’s all happy-go-lucky and goofy. He wants to find the treasure One Piece and be King of the Pirates, mostly to prove to his old friend Shanks that he can be a better pirate than him. Luffy’s 17, and always wears a Straw Hat that Shanks gave him after he rescued Luffy from a sea-monster.”

“Sea-monster? Wait, Luffy’s just 17?!” Fred and George gaped. “Whoa!”

“All of the crew is under 20...” Skie shrugged.

“Double whoa.” the twins said.

“And then there’s the first mate, Roranoa Zoro. He’s 19, and wants to be the world’s greatest swordsman. He challenged the champion already, and lost. But he vowed never to lose again. It was very dramatic and stuff.” Skie said, “He uses the Santuryu style, three swords. He holds one in his mouth, and one in each hand.”

“Is that even physically possible to swordfight like that without breaking your teeth?” Ron asked.

“Yep. I’ve thought about that too, though.” Skie nodded. “He’s grouchy, and stubborn, and annoying. I call him Moss-Head.” she grinned. “Oh, he’s got green hair, too.”

“He dye it?” Fred asked.

“Nope. In the One Piece world, the rainbow is basically the variety of hair colors you’d find.” Skie said.

“That’s weird.” Fred sat down on the low table in front of the couch Skie was sitting on.

“And then there’s our navigator, Nami. She’s 18, has orange hair, and has this spunky, don’t-mess-with-me attitude. She can kick anyone’s butt with her staff, and she loves money. Like a lot. She’s really good at her job too. She can tell a storm is coming when there isn’t a cloud in the sky with just her gut feeling. And it’s always right.”

“Is she cute?” Ron asked, getting an elbow from George.

“Yeah, she is.” Skie said, raising an eyebrow at Ron.

“Anyone else?” Harry asked.

“Yep! There’s Usopp. He’s 17, I think. He’s got a normal black hair color, and his hair is all floofy. He’s the marksman of the crew, and he’s amazing. But, he’s always telling fibs and lies, and running away. He’s sort of a chicken. But he’s really awesome once he decides to be brave and act like the true ‘Greatest Warrior of the Sea’ he’s always wanted to be.” Skie paused. “Oh, and his nose is like, this long.” She held her hand away from her nose to show how long Usopp’s was compared to hers.

“What? Seriously?” Harry asked.

“Seriously. Kinda scary. He turns around and he could smack you.” she laughed, the others joining in.

“How many other people are in your crew?” Ron asked.

“Just one,” Skie said. “And that’s Sanji!” she said his name like a kid would say the word ‘presents’ on Christmas. The twins raised an eyebrow at this. “He’s 19, and he’s got the cutest blond hair in the world! Half of it covers his left eye, and he’s got this adorable curly eyebrow.” Skie drew a swirl in the corner of her right eyebrow to show them.

“That’s…nice…” Ron said slowly.

“Yes it is!” Skie chirped. “And he’s an awesome chef! Well, that’s his job on the ship, but he’s just great! He makes really good ice cream and cake!” Skie zoned out, thinking about sugar.

The boys all looked at each other. “Hello?” Harry snapped his fingers in front of her face, snapping her out of her little daydream.

“What? What’s wrong?” she asked.

“You were telling us about Sanji?” Fred said.

“Ah yes! Sanji! Well, he’s an awesome chef, and he can make really good ice cream! I remember this one time, I challenged Luffy to an ice-cream eating contest…I sort of didn’t start. And he got the worst brain freeze of all time.” she put her head in her hands, her shoulder shaking as she started laughing, causing the four boys to start laughing too. She finally stopped, “And, he’s a really great fighter. He doesn’t use his hands, since he cooks with them all the time and doesn’t want them to get hurt. So he just kicks. And he could knock down a brick wall easy with one kick.”

“That’s impossible.” Harry said.

“Not in my world it isn’t.” Skie said. “Well, technically it’s not my original world, but-”

“What do you mean?” George asked.

“Well, in my original original world, I was hit by a red pickup truck, and I guess I’m in a coma. And I guess I was dreaming of being in the One Piece world. But I think that my consciousness was chucked into another dimension. And here I am in yours!”

“That’s…also impossible.”

“Bite me. It’s the best I can come up with.” she huffed.

“Well, Skie, nice to meet you!” the twins both extended their hands, crisscrossed.

Skie blinked, then crisscrossed her own arms and shook their hands, and they grinned even wider.

Fred glanced at a clock on the wall, “Whelp, it’s about lunch time, wanna get something to eat?” he asked, standing up at the same time as George.

“Sures,” Skie stood up, Ron and Harry following. “I’m hungry…” she said, “Do they have sugar?”

“Probobly,” Harry laughed.

The exited the Gryffindor Common Room, down a bunch of moving stairs, and into the Grand Hall, where a bunch of students were already sitting, the tables already full of food.

“Fred, George,” Ron called, catching his brothers’ attention, “Don’t let anyone know that Skie isn’t Hermione. Skie, try and act like a bookworm as best you can.” he said.

Skie blinked. Act like Hermione? That’d be easy!

As long as Malfoy didn’t show up.

The five of them sat down at the end of the Gryffindor table, filling up their plates with food before digging in. Skie had about twice as much as any of them.

“You’re gonna get sick…” Fred said, waving a finger in the air.

“Am not,” Skie said, munching on a chicken leg hungrily before downing a goblet of tea. Oh how she loved tea with extra sugar. Her glass refilled itself and she was half done drinking that goblet full, when an annoyingly familiar voice made her swallowing reflex halt.

“Hello, mudblood!” Draco Malfoy hissed.

Skie swallowed the giant mouthful painfully and slowly. She gasped and turned around, already irritated to the point where one of her eyebrows was twitching. “What?” she hissed back with just as much malice.

Malfoy had a bandage over his nose, but other than that he looked unhurt. Crabe and Goyle stood like statues on either side of the blond.

“I owe you one for breaking my nose!” he said.

“Can’t Madam Pomfrey fix it?” she asked flatly.

“Madam Pomfrey had the day off today!” Malfoy barked.

“Back off, Malfoy, you got what you deserved.” Harry growled.

“Shut it, Potter!” Malfoy said angrily, glaring at Harry. “I’m here to see that Granger gets what’s coming to her!”

“Are you done sputtering out threats? I’m hungry-” Skie started, but was interrupted as Malfoy grabbed the collar of her shirt and yanked her off the bench roughly, holding her in front of him. She had a ‘WTH, PUT ME DOWN!’ look on her face. In other words, she looked ticked.

“SHUT UP! I will NOT let you get away with this!” he shouted, shaking her.

“Put her down!” Ron barked, standing up from his seat. His brothers were already up and glaring at Crab and Goyle, Harry was standing too.

“I’m going to make you wish you’d never even LOOKED at me!” he roared.

“You know, you’re the one who looked at me first.” Skie said, coughing once because of the pressure around her neck. “And you already know you’re no match for me.” she grinned, crossing her arms in front of her.

Malfoy growled and raised his free arm in a fist, but his efforts failed…as Skie valiantly swung her leg up and kicked him right where dat sun don’t shine!

Malfoy’s grip on her collar loosened as his pupils dilated and he fell to his knees before crashing onto his side, very pale indeed.

“Oh my gosh, did I kill him?” Skie asked, staring down at him with an eyebrow raised. “Get up, ya pansy! I ain’t done with you yet!” she poked him with the toe of her shoe. He just twitched in reply.

“Uh…Her-Herm, it’s time to go!” Ron said, looking around.

The entire population of the Grand Hall was staring at her. “Mebbe you’re right.” She said.

“And that’s all, folks!” George said, and he and George lifted Skie up by her arms before sprinting out the doors, Harry and Ron close behind them.

.o O o.

Hermione shrugged. She couldn’t be getting into too much trouble!

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Or IS she? Mwahahahahahahaaa!

I love the Devil Robot on Futurama. He's just great. Anywho!

ROOTBEER AND ROCK!