|Whatever You Want
Author: MelissaRose85 PM
As a romance silently slips away, Sesshoumaru finds out Kagome has kept a very big secret from him. SK. [Complete, and sequel up. Not too happy with the sequel, but it was asked for, so I delivered.]Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Kagome H. & Sesshomaru - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,203 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 08-21-06 - Published: 08-19-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3112721
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Alright. Many reviewers asked for a sequel, so I'm giving one! I was surprised by the reviews; I know some writers get thousands but to be honest it was such a thrill to get into town last night and see all those reviews (cue warm fuzzy feeling). And for those who read all my stories, my longer, first story is still being rewritten and finished. I'm gonna post it after it's fully finished.
I personally like the way the first Whatever You Want ended, but for those of you who like happy endings, here ya go. This is as close as I get to fairytales.
This is mainly Kagome's POV. As for ages, if you are wondering, Kagome is 36, Sesshoumaru 38, and Namie 16.
Disclaimer: I ain't got nuffin'. (Southern humor. Sorry. People tend to think we actually speak this way!)
"Whatever You Want is Not What You Need"
He's a company man, your right hand, 13 years and counting.
No detectable ambition, a model of efficiency, far as you can see.
He knows every loophole, the art of fine print, massages the numbers 'til they fit.
And every time you ask him for another vanishing act, he half-smiles as if to say:
Whatever you want is fine by me.
Whatever you want is fine by me.
Never a real moment together but she understands: you're an important man.
Another late night, don't know if you're coming home or when.
She's alone again. But she goes on curating your domestic museum.
She disappears in her loyalty; she is a dress wearing a face in the doorway,
Opening her arms out to you:
Whatever you want is fine by me.
Whatever you want is fine by me.
No one would dare to question you, oh no. No one would dare to stand up.
But in the night she leaves the papers in a tidy pile: evidence for her reasons.
And in the night he takes the main accounts and pulls the files, detailing every treason.
I am the last one you'd ever suspect of setting the fire,
But as you switch on your TV tomorrow morning, you'll hear me saying quietly:
Whatever you want is fine by me.
Whatever you say, I'll do what you ask me.
Whatever you say, but do you know who's listening?
Whatever you say, you know it's over.
-"Whatever You Want", Vienna Teng
I had always known that 'the question' would come someday, sometime most likely when I would least expect it.
Well, that's not totally true.
I actually expected it to come in preschool when my daughter saw all the other daddies attending this event or that; I thought Namie would question me about men and why she never saw any in our house. Well, I was wrong.
It came at the age of 16.
My daughter had never really acted as if she missed not having a father (maybe because she never knew him) until her best friend, a good-natured girl named Annelis, mentioned that she had no mother. She just had her dad.
Namie stomped into our Chicago apartment and threw her books onto the table, grumbling all the way to fridge. She picked up a water, sat it down, picked it back up, then turned to me and calmly asked, "Who was my father?"
I immediately dropped the file I was perusing.
"My father. Who was he?" She came and sat on the sofa facing my small writing desk in the living area.
"Umm…is that really relevant after sixteen years of not having one?"
'What do I do?' ran through my mind like a mantra. If I told her, it could cause serious problems. On the other hand, if I denied her the information she might form some very bad ideas about her mom. She might think I didn't know and I was a slut in my younger years or something. Unfortunately she got her imagination from me.
"I'm not supposed to say anything. There is quite a bit about my life you don't know, Namie." She slammed her feet onto the wooden floor, thrashing about as she raised herself off the couch to glare at me.
"Well, then you tell me. I want to know who my father is!" I sighed.
To tell, not to tell. Hmm… to swear to secrecy?
"You must promise not to tell anyone. Your father wouldn't be very happy with that considering no one knows about you."
She humphed. And then promptly nodded.
"Your father and I met in high school, fell in love, and moved in together when we went away to college. We were together 6 years or so before we ended. I was pregnant and I knew that would just ruin his plans even more, so I kept it quiet."
"What?" She scowled. "He wouldn't have wanted me? What an irresponsible jackass."
I laughed. "Yes."
"Well what?" She gave me that 'don't be stupid' look she had perfected.
"Name? Description? Social Security Number so I can find out something about the man that helped create me?"
"Sesshoumaru InuTaishou." Her eyes went wide.
"The—the guy always on TV? The one who just bought Sony out?"
"Yeah, that's him. Now, can I—"
"Yeah, go back to what you were doing. Sorry, mom. Love ya." Without waiting for a response, my daughter left my company to go deafen herself from loud music in her room.
That went surprisingly well.
Two weeks later I amended above statement.
I woke up one Saturday refreshed, happy, and looking forward to a quick trip to Field Museum with my daughter. After that we could run to the University and see if that file I needed was still in my office.
That all went down the drain when I went to wake my daughter and found a note on her bed reading, and I quote, 'Sorry mom. I gotta meet this man.'
Oh God. She didn't.
But of course, she did.
I quickly found out that my daughter had boarded a plane to L.A. then Tokyo four hours before I woke up. And what does a mother do when her daughter has decided to go halfway around the world alone?
She screams, loudly. Then promptly contacts her best friend in Tokyo, Sango, to hopefully have her intercept her horrible daughter at the airport.
Sango wasn't in.
So I boarded a plane and went after her.
A day (two days?) later I stepped into Tokyo's airport and quickly made my way to Sango's home. Thankfully she was home and once the story was explained she said she would gladly help me find my incorrigible daughter. We were apparently way too late: my phone rang and I definitely didn't like the number I saw.
"Would you like to explain now, Kagome?"
"No?" I sounded like a small, terrified bunny rabbit.
"Where are you?" ohgodohgodohgodohgod
"Tokyo. Sango's apartment. I was going to try to intercept—"
"My daughter?" Such rage was in his voice.
"Yea." The line went dead and I knew I was in for it. He was pissed, livid, outraged, mad, and for good measure, angry. And coming to get me.
Three hours later I was in the main room of the InuTaishou mansion being glared at by five very angry people. Sakaeteiru and Izayoi seemed more upset, but Inuyasha and Kikyou were furious. They were extremely distressed about the fact that their children grew up alone, not knowing their cousin.
Yea, well, I'm upset that the father of my child is an asshole.
Namie didn't know what to think, so she sat by my side, her hands tightly clasping my left one. And Sesshoumaru paced, paced, and paced some more.
Izayoi finally spoke, and very softly she asked, "Kagome, do you have a reason or explanation for this?"
I sighed and began to speak. "I thou—"
"She does have a reason, and a damn good one!" Everyone looked aghast at Namie. "What? You all stand here mad at my mom when it's not her fault. That man—" she swung her now freed left hand to point at Sesshoumaru, "didn't want me!"
Oh no. Oh God.
"Excuse me? I have to know something exists before I can want it. And I certainly did not know you existed."
"Yes you did!"
"I assure you I did not." Now all our heads were slingshotting from side to side as we followed the argument.
"I remember you. The airport in Phoenix. You were the man who followed me and mom around the terminal."
"I—at that point I was not given an answer concerning your parentage." Sakaeteiru's face began to get red, then white, and finally blotchy as he stood quickly and stomped his bulky frame over to his eldest son.
"You have seen her before? You knew she existed yet you try and act like an injured parent?"
"I—just because I knew she existed does not mean she was mine."
"Look at her, damnit! You see those eyes! How many people in this world have that eye color, Sesshoumaru? If you didn't believe that she was your daughter one look could have convinced you!"
At this point, I left the room. Everything escalated into one huge argument between the family members, with Namie in the middle screaming. The kitchen seemed like a better alternative. Kikyou followed me. Solitude was just not possible in this house.
"Why didn't you at least tell me? We might have not had the best relationship but I am your cousin. No matter what problems we had I could have been there."
"I didn't want anyone to know." Her face darkened, shadowed by her anger and hurt for just a moment before she hid it.
"I believe that is silly. Others had a right to know that child, to be her family. You did not give us that right."
"I know," I said quietly. She sat down beside me and we listened to the fighting in the other room, waiting for it to grow quiet before we went back in there.
I never went back into the formal room. Instead, Namie came to me and Jaken ushered us upstairs to rooms overlooking the west side of the house. Izayoi, kind woman she is, figured that both of us could use a rest after the long flights and terrible day. I agreed. No bed had ever felt that good. It felt better when Namie crawled into bed with me and hugged me. We lay like that for hours, something we hadn't done since she was a little girl.
It began to grow dark and we reluctantly got up and Namie went down to dinner. I refused. I was not welcome here. She was their family and I—I had never been a member even by marriage.
I didn't feel like meeting Seshsoumaru's newest chick either.
Instead, I ran a hot bath in my big tub and threw in some bubble bath to help me relax. I continued to remind myself that tomorrow we could leave. Go home. How I missed my quiet life in Chicago with my daughter.
"It's the quiet night that breaks me, I cannot stand the sight of this familiar place," I sang softly to myself. So many memories rushed into my mind, brought there by the house and the family I used to love. I had missed them all terribly when I lay in bed at night, alone. There was only Souta and I left, and he had gone to university in Kyoto despite my offers to move him to Chicago and then stayed there to work and start a family. We barely talked anymore. It had truly been Namie and Kagome, always. How would that change now? Would he take responsibility for her and want her to visit? Would he try to take her from me and claim her as his?
"Oh no!" I sat up and sent water sloshing everywhere with my exclamation.
And I did the same thing when I heard a voice behind me ask, "Why aren't you at dinner?"
"What are you doing in my bathroom!"
"Getting you for dinner."
"I can make it on my own if I want to go!" His gaze drifted under my face and I sunk under the water to my chest.
"You should come downstairs. Everyone is waiting."
"Well, tell them not to. I'm not hungry to be honest." He 'hnned' and walked away. I had won that round, thank God.
I got out of the tub, seeing how my bath had been ruined, and slung my robe on and walked into my bedroom to have yet again another mysterious Sesshoumaru sighting.
"Will you just leave?" I huffed and sat down on my bed, brushing my hair.
"Was I really that horrible, Kagome? You feared telling me I had a child?" I sighed.
"You didn't want that life, Sesshoumaru. The little wife and cozy home complete with kids and a dog never suited you. You know that."
"Perhaps you should have asked me." I shuddered. Was I wrong? He seemed to like the party life so much more than I ever did.
"I didn't want my child exposed to your lifestyle. I was—was so scared that if I stayed, she would realize that her father didn't love her mother or her. He wanted a gallery of beautiful women instead of his family." He finally turned to me, disgust and rage in his eyes.
"Is that what you think? You left me. We had a conversation about absolutely nothing and I wake the next day to see that you have left. For the next ten years we talked sporadically and—Kagome I could hear it in your voice."
"Hear what?" I asked in a hushed manner.
"The love, the desperation, the heartache. But each time you would hang up without ever a question about us."
"I knew you wanted your freedom. I played according to the rules—"
"The ones you chose!" I snapped and screamed.
"What are you babbling about?"
"That damn letter. You told me not to tell and every time we talked I could hear you asking the same damn question over and over. So I didn't. I dealt with the ridicule of your friends and the loneliness and the hurt—"
He cut me off with a sharp bark of laughter.
"I didn't want anyone to know that we were no longer a couple. I didn't want any other man coming after what was supposed to be mine."
"So I'm not allowed the same courtesy you are? I have to be single, pure, devoted to you while you traipse around Tokyo with your fangirls?"
"I never said that and you should know better than to listen to gossip."
"Kagome, be reasonable."
"I am being reasonable, damnit!" He sighed and I huffed.
"I know I can't explain everything, Kagome. But I promise that I—" he was cut off by Namie's entrance. She glanced at me and then her father before she stepped in and stood beside me.
"So, Namie, did you enjoy your dinner?" She smiled at me.
"I like them, mom. They seem nice." She flicked her eyes at her father, questioning his presence.
"We will be leaving tomorrow. You can come and visit them during summer break." She nodded and went to her room, leaving me with Sesshoumaru.
"She can visit you for a month this summer. You may call her whenever you like."
"Kagome, she's my daughter!" He sounded so broken, so strangled at that moment. I felt so sorry for him.
"I know." His gaze melted me the same way it used to, and I turned to avoid him. "You can speak to her whenever. Visit her whenever you come to the states, but, Sesshoumaru, she is still my daughter. I have raised her and loved her—"
"I wouldn't take her away, Kagome. I just wish—" he flicked his long, silver hair behind his shoulder, "I wish you were closer. Both of you."
I gasped. I shuddered. Unghh.
"I miss you as well as a daughter I don't know."
"Why now? Why?"
"A catalyst maybe? Kagome, you gave me a child. That just makes me love you more."
Harps were playing, angels were singing, and I was in heaven.
We ended up moving to Tokyo. I found a job at a university there and I watched as Sesshoumaru became a father. Believe it or not, he was good at it.
Our relationship grew as well. It took some time to get over everything that had happened and to get used to being around him again. I constantly worried that this gorgeous man who could have any woman he wanted would leave at any time. Surely at some point he would realize I wasn't the pretty young girl he met 24 years ago and he would leave me. I was getting old and I knew that I wasn't as pretty as I used to be.
But he never did leave.
He proposed two years after Namie found him. We had a quiet wedding at the InuTaishou mansion and not once that night did he seemed disgusted with my older self. In fact, it was quite the opposite.
So Namie got her father and I got a husband. Isn't it funny how some things work out?
A/N: Happy endings are harder to write. Sesshoumaru's character is hard to write romantically because he is a damn ice block! Sorry if anyone is upset by anything he says, etc. I tried to keep him in character.