Assassination

I never understood it myself.

We are the Tallest. The indisputable rulers of the greatest force in the universe. It didn't take much to get what we wanted. In fact, all we had to do was say it and we'd get it, sooner or later. Most of the time... sooner. If we were displeased by a lack of service we could get rid of whoever annoyed us. Not that we hated the guts of those shorter than us, we just knew our place and their places. We used to be in that position ourselves, back when we were smeets. Treated below others because of height. Back then, we didn't particularly understand it. Now that we have tasted the entire scale we do. That must be why pak codes were made for the Tallest to be leader. That way by the time one has been treated with all of the different stages of respect he can fully understand the layers of the empire.

I call him he, but technically we are its. Sex has been eliminated from our race to keep any unnecessary feelings from interfering with our greater minds. I could have cared less when I was only in contestant for the position, pretending with the remainder of the actual genderized population was a very interesting feat to pull. But it never changed the facts of what we are. And although in many respects we are so very exact, no one has ever started calling the entirety of the Irken population 'its'. It was he, or she, even though not a single he or she exists anymore, the last dying out with the Tallests destroyed by Zim and even one not.

But I am digressing.

He and I are the Tallests. I can not say everyone was pleased with the arrangements of having two Tallests, but in the end it worked out. We have settled in nicely with our new position. I have to say, having other people doing what we wanted them to do is far from the worst thing that could have happened to either of us. The rest of the Irken society has come to worship us both equally even though neither of us do as much work as say, Miyuki or Spork did. Tallest Miyuki or Tallest Spork. Well, being dead certainly cuts down on height.

Ha! Ha...

The Irkens took me more seriously than him. At first. I say 'at first' because he proved us all wrong. I as well. I should have known better then to have thought of him weaker then myself, especially since I was witness to his training.

He was much quieter, much more subdued then he is now. Not silent, and not overcome. He has a beautiful mind, if I am allowed to say so. It was buried under his silence before and is now buried under his straight forward nature. If only it would come out on more of a regular basis.

So much more could be different.

When we began Impending Doom One, it started out wonderfully. It was the secret soldiers we sent out beforehand on missions we knew that could not wait. It was a good thing we both agreed on that, since nothing could be done afterward as Zim destroyed Irk, blowing up all of the Invaders. That defect. Is this true with all defects? None of them have any clue that they are so?

Even if it is, Zim will always be a special case. An especially annoying case.

We managed four planets in that plan. Even so, we realized the flaws in the plans a past Tallest had set down before us and lazily fixed it. We were in no rush. Impending Doom Two could wait just a little bit longer.

Something we did not think of, was that one of the planets may have wanted revenge. Revenge! Against the Irken machine, as they call us? What a brainless idea! What a completely wicked, suicidal thing to do!

I appear to reminiscence with a better vocabulary than I usually speak with. My past teachings are catching up with me.

One of the planets, I forget it's name now, had the perfect technological achievements. For their sector of the universe anyway. I was surprised a race other than the Irkens could advance that far, but they were still nowhere close to our level. No, we will always be so very far above them all. But some of their race escaped our detection as they sped away from their own planet.

That error will be fixed for any planet captured in Impending Doom Two.

They were very subtle in their revenge. They did not send out messages to us, telling us to quake with fear, nor did they ask for any help from another race, for they were too proud! They hid gathering their attack behind other means. They even waited for us to go to the Massive! Someone must have done their homework, to know it is impossible for anything other than an Irken to enter Irk's atmosphere.

He and I were overlooking the final adjustments to what was to be the perfect control ship for a fleet. The only ship worthy of the Irken's Tallest.

"And why is that there?" he asked, since I was too busy checking on the temperature monitor. Of everything we hated, heat and cold took near the top.

"Because it looks cool, sir!"

"Okay." He never really argued over designs, that had always been my job. And it was not as if all of our body guards and advisors were going to say anything. Well, the advisors might of said something, but they didn't seem to have a problem with a ship with interesting insides.

"I'm hungry," I yawned, knowing the instantaneous reaction about to occur.

"What would you like my Tallest?"

"May I get you something, my Tallest?"

"Allow me to part your glorious presence to get you something, my Tallest!"

Sure, the last one may have been a little overboard, but hey... who am I to argue? I, who once was shoved out of the way by a Taller smeet, now has a glorious presence. Can't argue with that! How many get a chance for redemption of their mind? After for being told for years you are nothing, then growing into a position that you can say that to others! Most Irkens finally finally make a mindset which no longer subjects to the insults thrown their way. They just absorb it, like sponges, and never think about it again.

Except Zim, who never even seemed to notice. Zim is a different case altogether.

"Okay, all three of you, grab some items," I shrugged. "Just make sure there's enough for both of us, and don't forget the–" I stopped and looked at him before continuing, "– the nachos and the curly fries."

A barrage of 'yes, sirs!' and 'right away, my Tallest!' assaulted my antennae before they, as if the sooner they could get out of there the safer it would be for them. But, then again that was probably the correct way to think. And they say the Tallest set unreachable standards! They set unreachable standards that the rest of the population has to get used to and then we're not used to anything less! All in all, it is the advisors' fault.

"Hey." I nudged my co-ruler's side with my elbow. He was going to protest when I shifted my eyes to our body guards. He nodded in understanding. He knew this game. We played it often.

"Oooohh, what's over here?" he asked, going into a different room. All of the advisors and bodyguards followed as one. Where one of us went, the other usually followed, so the fact I stayed out in the hall was news to them. Or, would be news to them when they noticed. I turned to see that one of the bodyguards hadn't left me yet.

"I don't feel like waiting for my snacks, I'll catch up later," I waved him off, going down the hall and appearing to follow after the other three Irkens I had just sent away. I could tell he had an internal struggle, whether he should listen to me or guard his Tallest. Not that I gave him much of a chance, as soon as I turned a corner I ran in a random direction. I was pretty sure it was not the same direction that they had the food, but how would I know? I didn't design the ship, my designs were for the smaller, more agile, ships.

"What took you so long?" I asked him, surprising my fellow ruler from my hidden place in one of the hall closets.

"Had to ditch the entire group," he frowned at me, staring at the closet. "Are we hiding in there now?"

"Nah," I came out, closing it behind myself. "That would be difficult to explain. Speaking of which... how did you get rid of them?"

"I told them to look for you," he said simply.

"Perfect," I grinned. "Now, what do you want to do?"

"I thought you had something in mind, since you brought it up."

"I stuck them on you, so you get to choose. I was just tired of the tour. Go ahead."

He looked thoughtful for a while as we walked down the hallways. We didn't look left or right to keep from being caught, we just waited for them to find us, like always. It wasn't us escaping our duties... it was us training our people. Surely that isn't a bad thing?

"I got it!" he exclaimed as he turned to me, his eyes flashing. Just then, the entire ship started to flash warning lights, red and purple.

"Since when was there purple?" he asked, looking confused.

"Since I asked them," I told him pointedly, but ignored any look he could have given back. "Come on, time to get out."

We didn't need an entire squad of people there to know what we had to do. On an incomplete ship we were to evacuate to our own as soon as possible, after sending a signal to make sure nothing had gone wrong while we were gone. Just because our bodyguards were scattered didn't mean we were stupid. We both knew where our loading ship was and we both were trained to fly, so that didn't matter either. The ambassadors needed to learn how to give some instruction anyways and the bodyguards needed some recent laser experiences so it was a win-win situation. It wasn't as if something could happen to us.

Which is when the machine came down on top of us.

I can't say it is the biggest technological achievement that I had seen up to that point, but we did use some of it's designs later to upgrade the SIR units for agility and storage space. Otherwise, it wasn't very special. It's weapons were not top grade, just a few HRT-800s and a Zoltan blade. But when you are on the opposite side of the weapon, at the weaker end, it really does not matter how high tech the weapon is. Just how fast it will be able to kill you.

It landed on me, but I swiped it off before it could do more then nick me with its blade.

"Run!" I shouted, pushing him down the hall, continuing towards our ship. It wasn't as if outrunning it would have been a problem for him as fast as he was, but he was dragging a bit.

"Duck!" I heard him shout at me, which I was instinctively obliged to do. As an Irken Elite, I knew better then to question what was obviously a command between life and death.

I felt him turn from the grip I still had on his back and heard a clash of metal behind me. A whir of the spinning Zoltan blade (which wasn't even close to the Zoltan-8 blades we bestowed on our SIRs) clanged against his mechanical legs that were pressed up against my back.

I owed him my life.

I nearly shouted his name as he leaped over my form toward the assassin behind me. I flipped from on my knees to leaning back on my elbows so I could see. By the time I managed that (two seconds!) the machine was already useless, its power cords stored on a reachable place on its back, unplugged by the Tallest, but he still was not done.

"Stop right–"

The female didn't even have time to state her business with us. I had felt her gun, its barrel actually seeming to eject bullets, its cold metal resting firmly against the back of my head. Then I heard the rush of movement that I recognized very well as his mechanical legs. A warm liquid splattered against my back, but no body hit the floor. I couldn't bring myself to turn around, I just looked up into the eyes of my only friend.

The murderous expression in his eyes was gone, replaced by one of shock or concern. Both seemed to be trying to overcome his purple eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked me. Me! The one who had done nothing! All of this power is making me lazy, I know. Did I really forget we knew both how to fight? He knew how to fight.

"Fine," I managed back, standing up to the side of his mechanical spider legs. I used that as my movement to look around.

I will never know exactly what the race was by the memory, her body with all six appendages in it was mostly pulled apart and her blue blood was all that I can remember. It ran down the metal and flecked him on his shoulders. He lowered what remained of the body and pulled them out, one by one. He really couldn't pull them away without something else there holding it down. That in itself was a particularly gruesome thing to watch, but I forced myself to. He was going to start freaking out any second and I knew that I had to be there for him.

Who else was?

"My Tallest!"

Another barrage of those words assailed my hearing. They were all over us. Not literally, but I think that the point has been made. Next by me, he seemed to have cut himself off from the surrounding insistences. I could tell from the look in his eyes, they were somewhat dull and glazed. I had seen that look times before.

Devastis seems like so long ago.

"We need to head back to Irk," I cut in, taking him by the arm. His weight rested completely on me and I could tell that he was out, though no other could really notice. "Start up our ship and we'll head back. When the Massive is better defended we will come back for an actual inspection."

More agreements and other words were spoken among them, not that I could tell what they were saying unless I decided to listen to one. So I headed towards the ship.

I kept him by my side the entire time, no one was the wiser. I spoke most of the time anyways, the only times when he put something in was to point out the obvious or to ask a question. Most of the time. There was then when he would actually start spouting off strange things to the ambassadors. I swear, their faces when that happens make me laugh to this day.

"You okay?" I asked him, when he came to again. I had taken him to his room, not that Irkens sleep (not that he sleeps!), but we need to wind down somewhere especially if you are Tallest. We need a place where lying isn't the constant routine.

"Yeah," he sat up. "Red?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate myself."

To this day I know there has to have been a better answer than the one I gave him.

"And I can't throw a punch. Just because you do one thing you don't like doesn't mean you're allowed to hate yourself."

He gave me a small smile before staring down at the floor. We both knew the flaw in my words. He had always hated himself for something.

It was a week later when we went back to the Massive. We passed thru the same hallway. He didn't even seem to notice it, it wasn't like there was a blood stain on the ground. He was quiet, but not unusually so. Everything seemed just like normal.

"And why is that there?" I asked, since he was too busy staring out the window.

"Because... it looks neat. Sir!"

"Make it useful, like a drink dispenser or a hidden security system or something," he said, sounding absentminded. I knew better. In fact, I had always known better, it just always seems to slip my mind.

"Or a donut stand," I suggested, feeling hungry for real this time.

His antennae rose.

"Yeah! Donuts!" he grinned.

"We're hungry!" I told the ambassadors, laughing along with him. Time would go on.

Next chapter: Better Than One - Two is better than one, right?