|Be Careful What You Wish For
Author: possiblycrazee PM
AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?Rated: Fiction T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Hawkeye P. & BJ H. - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,469 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 08-29-06 - Published: 08-21-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3117315
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Be Careful What You Wish For…
Beta: Alex/Odysseus, Onigami/Ryan and Nox/BJ
Disclaimer: I own Adair and the plotline. That is all. MASH belongs to… whoever it belongs to. frowns Who does it belong to? Fox? Meh… I dunno.
Summary: AU. Hawkeye was a doctor with a difference. We all knew that. But, honestly? How different is different?
Doctor Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce wandered up the path to his house in Crabapple Cove, Maine. He pushed open his front door, bending down to pick up the letters sitting on his doormat. Pulling the door shut behind him, he absently sorted through the mail. Dad. Dad. Dad. Medical journal. Me. Me… hello… he hung his coat on the rack and dropped his father's mail on the kitchen table. Flopping down on the sofa, Hawkeye stared at his mail. Two letters. One rather ordinary looking; could be from anyone. He dropped that one next to him on the sofa. One written on parchment, folded into a parchment envelope. His eyes widened. There was only one person who would write to him on parchment. Hawkeye didn't bother to fight back the urge to grin like a madman. He quickly tore open the letter, reading it hurriedly. The smile fell off his face. His eyes fell onto the letter next to him. He picked it up, turned it over and opened it, reading the contents. He flinched. He was being posted to Korea. He had an assignment, but he was being sent to war…
Hawkeye stood in the shower tent after a grueling 9 hour session in the OR. He sighed, tilting his head up to the water and letting it pound the tension out of his shoulders. He shot a glance over at the new doctor, Captain BJ Hunnicutt. The blonde man was resting his head on his arms, letting the water run down his back, looking half asleep. He shot him a wry smile. BJ gave him a crooked smile in return, before yawning widely, shutting off his water, drying off quickly and throwing Hawkeye a wave over his shoulder as he headed back to the Swamp.
The dark haired doctor watched him go, waiting until the door swung shut and BJ's footsteps had faded into the distance before shutting off his own water and stepping out, wrapping a towel around his waist. He stepped in front of the mirror, turning his back to it and glancing back over his shoulder. He frowned, scrutinizing the smooth skin of his back. He ran a hand up over one of his shoulder blades, sighing as he did so. Nothing but smooth, pale skin under his hand. He scowled, watching his reflection scowl back at him, before turning away from the mirror, pulling on his robe and his pants and heading back to the Swamp.
Corporal Radar O'Reilly sorted through the mail in the bag that came to the 4077th MASH. Hawkeye. Hawkeye. Major Burns. Major Houlihan. BJ. BJ… Radar frowned as his hand brushed over the two letters for Captain BJ Hunnicutt. The slightly psychic corporal winced in sympathy as he caught a flash of what was in the captain's letters. Boy, he hoped Hawkeye was up for this. Steeling himself, Radar picked up the letters for the occupants of the Swamp and headed out. Knocking on the door and waiting for the muffled 'Go away, Hotlips!' that signaled Radar's cue to enter, the corporal shifted uneasily from foot to foot. Hearing his cue to enter the Swamp, Radar pushed open the door.
"Mail's here, sirs," Radar called.
"Anything for me?" Hawkeye asked from where he was busily rearranging Frank's shaving kit.
"Uh-huh… one from your dad… and… a newspaper…" Radar said fishing the letters out of his pile.
"Gimme. Gimme. Gimme," Hawkeye said, snatching the letters out of Radar's hand and dropping onto his bunk to read them.
"Radar… tell me you have a letter from my wife..." BJ said hopefully.
Radar fought the urge to wince, "Uh… yes, sir… right here, sir… and another one from… home… too, sir…" Radar quickly handed the blonde doctor his letters.
Radar quickly tossed Frank's letters onto his bunk, a sure sign something was bothering him. Frank was on R&R for the next week, Radar was supposed to hang onto his mail. Radar scurried from the Swamp, his head down, quickly throwing a 'goodbye' over his shoulder as he hurried back to the CO's office. Hawkeye frowned, looking up from his letters as he saw the young corporal half-run out of the Swamp and across the camp. What was bothering Radar? He turned to BJ, who had a similar frown on his face, and raised an eyebrow. BJ shrugged. Whatever it was, Radar was bound to tell them sooner or later. The two doctors sat back on their respective bunks and tore open their letters from home. Hawkeye settled back in the chair by the door, a soft smile on his face, as he read the letter from his father. BJ settled into his bunk, the letter from his wife open in his hands.
I hope this letter finds you well, and I hope that you are staying safe as best you can. Erin and I are doing great. Waggles says hello. Erin said 'baba' last week. She's growing so fast. I took her for her first haircut last week. She hated it. She kept moving her head and cried the entire time. She wants hair like Rapunzel. She is bound and determined to have hair long enough to sit on. She has the same stubbornness as you. Only two years old but she still knows exactly what she wants.
BJ, there is something important happening here. I don't know how to tell you this. This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write.BJ, we've been married for nearly three years now. But, I can't help but feel that you, I'm sorry, that you don't love me like you could. There's something missing, BJ, and I know it's not me. I've put everything into this marriage. I can only conclude that, maybe, we just aren't meant to be. I'm sorry, BJ. I'm so sorry.
There's something else, as well. This isn't a decision I have come to lightly. It has been on my mind, lurking in the back, ever since you left. I don't know how to put this. There really is no nice way to write it. BJ, I've found someone else. His name is Thomas Miller. Don't be angry, please. I honestly believe that Tommy and I are soulmates. Please don't be angry, BJ.
This letter should come with another one from Harper and Mayblin Law. The divorce papers are in there. I know that the mail is unpredictable over there, but can you get them signed and back as soon as possible? Tommy's asked me to marry him.
Take care and stay safe,
BJ frowned, staring blankly at the letter in his hands. He'd never wanted to kill someone before. Amazing, wasn't it, then, that he felt empty, now that he did. He sighed as he realized that his Hippocratic Oath prevented him from beating the crap out of Thomas Miller. Glancing down at the letter, he wondered idly if his Hippocratic Oath prevented him from hiring a hitman. He tilted his head to the side as he considered that. He honestly had no idea. Hawkeye. Hawkeye would know.
Dragging his eyes up from the dreaded letter, BJ called over to his friend, "Yo, Hawk?"
Hawk's dark head popped up from the inside of Frank's footlocker, "Yes'm?"
BJ flicked the letter absently, "Does our Hippocratic Oath prevent us from hiring a hitman?"
Hawkeye blinked at his blonde friend, "What?" he asked incredulously.
"Does our Hippocratic Oath prevent us from hiring a hitman?" BJ repeated.
Hawkeye snorted with laughter, "Very nice, Beej, you almost had me there. Great joke."
BJ frowned perplexedly, "Who's joking? I genuinely wanna know, Hawk. Does our Hippocratic Oath…?"
"Yeah, I got it the first two times," Hawkeye interrupted, looking at his friend closely.
Hawkeye moved to sit in front of BJ, "And... just out of curiosity... why… are we hiring a hitman?"
In answer, BJ threw the letter he had been previously clinging to for dear life into Hawkeye's lap. Hawkeye looked at BJ for a few seconds. The blonde man was too calm, his blue eyes staring blankly at the door. Hawkeye frowned, this was not his Beej. He flicked his gaze down to the letter in his lap. Dearest BJ… It was from Peg. Oh no. Hawkeye flicked his eyes back up to BJ's face. He hadn't moved. Hawkeye sighed softly and began to read. His lips moved soundlessly and his eyes widened as different pieces of the letter stood out.
Dearest BJ… Peg, you've got some nerve, he thought. …you don't love me like you could… my God, woman! He got sent to war and he still writes to you at least twice every week! I've found someone else… Oh no… Beej… Please don't be angry, BJ… Don't be angry! How do you expect him to feel now that you've ripped his heart out and crushed it under your boot heel! Divorce papers? Oh no… Beej… oh my poor Beej…
Wait… Hawkeye's eyes widened… Thomas Miller? Peggy's new piece of nads was called Thomas Miller? Oh Adair, you son-of-a-bitch… The dark haired doctor's eyes blazed furiously. He forced down his anger, BJ was more important right now. He looked up. BJ still hadn't moved. Hawkeye's heart twisted. Poor BJ. Resisting the urge to tear it into pieces, Hawkeye placed the letter carefully on BJ's bunk. He crouched down in front of the blonde doctor, placing one hand on his knee.
"Beej?" he said softly.
The blonde slowly turned to face him, his eyes glassy with tears, "Hawk? She… she…" he managed to choke out.
Hawkeye's heart clenched, "Aw Beej, I know, I know."
Hawkeye sat next to BJ and wrapped his arms around his friend's shoulders. BJ turned into him, burying his face into Hawkeye's neck, his shoulders heaving as he sobbed brokenly. Hawkeye fought back his own tears, his anger threatening to resurface as his best friend's tears soaked into his shoulder. Adair, Adair, Adair… What have you done? He rubbed BJ's back, murmuring nonsensical things as the blonde man cried himself out. Slowly, eventually, BJ's sobs slowed and his breathing evened out. Hawk glanced down; he saw BJ's closed eyes and tear-streaked face. Hawk sighed softly; he'd cried himself to sleep.
Carefully untangling his friend's long limbs, Hawkeye eased BJ back down onto his bunk. Heading towards the door, he shot another glance at his best friend's tear-streaked face. Every bit of anger that Hawkeye had so carefully forced down came surging back up. His eyes blazed with anger and he stormed towards the door, stalking out and shutting it with a bit more force than was necessary. Hawkeye strode across the camp towards the supply tent. No-one was in there. It was the place he was least likely to be disturbed. Pulling open the door, he walked in, failing to notice the door to the Swamp opening and a blonde head poking out.
BJ jerked slightly as he was jostled out of the uneasy sleep he had fallen into. He blinked blearily, glancing around for Hawkeye. He frowned, noticing the empty tent. What had woken him up, then? BJ jerked slightly, realizing belatedly, and with a surge of guilt, that he his first thought on waking had not been of Peg and her decision to leave him for another man. No. His first thought on waking had been of Hawkeye…
He glanced out of the tent, frowning as he saw Hawkeye's familiar form striding across the camp. How could that have happened? What kind of husband was he! He got out of his bunk, pulled open the door and watched as his best friend disappeared into the supply tent. He scowled. No way. Hawk was going to bang a nurse! Now! BJ frowned. Goddamn, why did that bother him! BJ's eyes filled with tears and he swiped them away angrily, stalking across the camp to the supply tent.
Hawkeye paced up and down the supply tent, trying to get his fury down to a manageable level. He stopped suddenly. Then, with a stillness not normally seen in the dark haired doctor, he closed his eyes and took several slow, deep breaths. His eyes opened, and with one glance back to the door, making sure it was still tightly shut, he raised a hand, fingers splayed, palm up, up to eye level. He took a breath… and his head whipped round. Damn! Someone was coming. Hawkeye clenched his fist again and flopped back down onto a stack of supply boxes, bowing his head and sighing in frustration, his hair falling into his eyes. He glanced up as the door to the supply tent banged open and BJ stormed in looking utterly furious, face still streaked with tears.
Hawkeye blinked, a slight frown on his face, "Beej?"
Glancing around the supply tent and finding it empty except for the defeated looking Hawk, BJ's brow creased slightly in confusion, "Hawk? There's no-one here. Where's the nurse gone?"
Hawkeye's eyes widened, "Nurse? Beej, there's no nurse. Just me and a half dozen rats."
BJ winced, "Damn, Hawk, I'm sorry. I thought… I'm sorry."
Hawk shrugged, "Its ok. I came in here to curse Peg out. I didn't want you to hear that," he snorted, then grinned sheepishly, "Though, perhaps the supply tent probably wasn't my best choice."
BJ shrugged, looking downcast again, staying silent. Hawkeye picked himself up off the supply boxes, flicking his hair out of his eyes. He looked up at the slightly taller man. BJ tried to give him a smile, but it turned out more like a pained grimace. Hawkeye sighed, placing an arm around BJ's shoulders and leading him out of the supply tent.
"Come on, Beej, try and get some sleep," Hawkeye told him softly as he led him back to the Swamp.
BJ shook his head, "Can't. I'm in post-op in half an hour."
Hawkeye looked up at him, "No, you aren't. You're in no condition to watch over a ward. I'll cover for you. Don't…" he finished, holding up a hand as BJ opened his mouth to protest, "Beej, get some sleep. If it makes you feel better, you can owe me one, okay?"
BJ sighed dejectedly, nodding, "Alright, Hawk, but I do owe you one."
Hawkeye nodded back, sitting BJ down on his bunk, pulling the doctor's boots off, a small smile crossing his face as BJ yawned widely. He patted BJ's knee as he stood up, pushing on his shoulder, noticing that the blonde man was already half asleep. BJ mumbled softly, but lay down, burying his face in the worn, army-issue pillow. Hawkeye shook his head. Damn that woman. He pulled the blankets up to cover BJ's shoulders, before tiptoeing out of the Swamp and heading over to post-op.
Hawkeye yawned widely as he pushed open the door to the Swamp. He glanced over at BJ's bunk. The blonde doctor was still asleep. He rubbed his face tiredly and groaned wearily as he realized there was something he still needed to do. Pulling off his coat, he dropped it on his bunk before heading out across the camp to the supply tent, too exhausted to notice the blue eye that cracked open as he groaned and left the tent.
Standing in the supply tent, Hawkeye closed his eyes, bringing his hand up to eye level, palm up, fingers splayed. He stilled, his eyes opening slowly. Pursing his lips, Hawkeye let out a soft, three-toned whistle, the corners of his mouth curling up in satisfaction as his hand started to glow softly. Clenching his fist, Hawkeye shifted the glow from his hand to the air in front of him, a soft glowing ball bobbing gently at eye level.
Hawkeye took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts, before blowing gently into the glowing orb and chanting softly, "Adair, Adair, Adair."
He never noticed the wide blue eyes of his best friend staring through gap in the supply tent's walls.