AUTHOR'S NOTE: Let me start by saying 1) I have zero experiencing writing explicit sexual things and 2) this was not my idea. Someone left a review on one of my other stories saying "you should write an M-rated thing with young Walter and Girlycard" and I thought "why not?". Thus this. If you're the person who suggested, hope you like it. If not, well, feel free to critique my very first rated-M piece.

Enjoy!

TOO YOUNG

He was smoking again.

He shouldn't smoke. But then again, there were lots of things he shouldn't do. Shouldn't have done. There were lots of things that no one should do. Killing, for example. No one should kill. Theoretically, no human has the right to take the life of another human being. But he had already broken that rule.

So he might as well smoke.

It was a cheap brand of cigarettes, bummed off the house staff of Hellsing. The maids never had anything good, and the soldiers actually seem to prefer the Yankee sticks. Maybe he just had expensive taste. He didn't know. Didn't care. There were other things on his mind.

Walter took a long puff. He'd smoked a lot in his short life of fourteen years. At this rate, he was quite certain that he would die before the age of thirty from one form of smoking-related sickness or another. That didn't concern him, since the life he led will most likely lead to an early grave anyway. Still, if a certain night-walking companion of his was around, he would probably hear…

"You shouldn't smoke."

He smirked. Right on cue. "It's rather rude to come into someone's room unannounced." With two fingers he took the cigarette out of his mouth. "Didn't I say I didn't want to be bothered tonight?"

There was a tremor in the room. The vampire was there, but did allow himself to be seen. Such strange creatures, vampires were, even to Walter, who's kept the company of one for years. "You know I only take orders from one person, little butler."

"I was hoping you had some common courtesy to do as you're asked."

"That would be a misassumption on your part, now wouldn't it?"

The boy sighed. "Leave me alone, Alucard."

"My, my." A shadowy figure solidified on the far end of the small bedroom. It had no features, nor a definite shape, lingering like a lost spirit. "Aren't we grumpy tonight?"

Walter said nothing.

"Shall I venture to guess the reason?"

He shrugged. "If you want, seeing how you're not going away anyway."

The figure was smiling. He didn't have to see its face to tell. "You are nervous."

He cringed. "I am not."

"You also shouldn't lie. It's a filthy habit. Like smoking."

Walter rose from his bed and went to the window. Night was falling, shrouding the English landscape in darkness and mystery. He wondered where he would be tomorrow night, at this time, and what he would be doing.

"You're worried about tomorrow," said Alucard, his swimmy shape drifting slowly along the walls. "What is making you worry exactly? The violence? The killing? The danger? If I'm not mistaken, you've already been through all three, and earned your name along the way."

A sigh escaped the young butler's lips. "It's not that."

"Do you fear death?"

There was a moment of hesitation. "No, not really."

"You do not fear dying then?"

"Not particularly. Death is only death. Whether there is an afterlife does not matter. I'll find out when I get there."

"Then what's making you so anxious?" Judging by the sound of the bedsprings, Alucard had sat down on his bed. Walter did not face his comrade. Instead, he laid a hand on the cold glass and smoked his cigarette.

"This is a war, Alucard."

"That it is."

"I'm not like you. I've never been in a war before. I haven't seen with my own eyes the atrocities humans are capable of, although I've heard about them plenty. I've seen violence and I've killed with my hands. But that all felt like a game. This is… real."

Alucard chuckled. "War is a game."

"To you, maybe. You've seen enough of it to find it to be nothing more than a common amusement. But for me this is a big deal. This is a lot of responsibility."

"Is that what you fear?" There was amusement in the vampires voice. "Do you fear responsibility?"

"Shouldn't I? I'm the only human being sent into enemy territory tomorrow. Arthur has rested all of his hopes on me." Alucard cleared his throat. "Sorry, us."

"Maybe he made a mistake then."

Walter started. "What?"

"Maybe he made a mistake in selecting you, if you are afraid of failure already," said Alucard snidely.

"I'm not afraid!" he snapped. "I'm just… I'm worried I won't live up to his expectations. To everyone's expectations. I'm…" he gazed out the window. "I'm too young."

The vampire laughed. Walter slammed his fist against the window. The cigarette in his mouth dropped to the floor and went out. "Stop laughing! This is why I told you to stay away tonight!"

"On the contrary," said Alucard silkily. "I think you needed me here tonight."

"What the hell makes you think that?"

"Because someone has to show you."

"Show me what?"

For a moment there as no answer, making Walter think his companion had left. But when he turned around he saw that, though his bed was empty, Alucard was still there. He was merely out of sight again. His voice echoed in the room.

"What makes you think you're too young, Walter?"

"I'm only fourteen," he replied hesitantly. "I'm not a man yet."

"The term 'man' is relative. Some live for many years without becoming a real man. Some are born one." There was a pause. "Tell me, Walter, do you like girls?"

The question was a surprising one. "I… um…"

"Yes or no? Don't tell me you're too young to appreciate the opposite sex, too?"

"Of course not!" Walter snapped. "Of course I like girls. I just haven't been around very many."

An unseen hand tickled the back of his neck. He twitched. Alucard chuckled again. "The first step to manhood to being able to spot the beauty of women, for they are truly treasures, a vision to behold."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

Alucard didn't answer. "What kind of girls do you like, little butler?"

"I don't know."

"You haven't ever seen a girl before?"

"I have!" Walter scratched his head. It felt as if the vampire was breathing down his neck, cold breezes caressing his collarbone. "I just don't know… I guess I like dark hair… and big eyes… light skin maybe, but that one doesn't really matter. I like a girl who's spirited and fun."

"Alright."

"Why are you asking this?"

"Just wondering. This girl you like… could she look like this?"

Something was different about those last few words. Walter looked up in surprise as the elder vampire's voice suddenly turned soft and feminine. The shadow in the room had disappeared. On the other side of the room, standing with her hands behind her back, was a girl.

She looked just how he had described—dark hair hanging to her shoulders, wide, bright eyes shining with intelligence and mischief, skin fair and smooth, and lips the color of cherry yogurt. She smiled at him.

"Is this right?" "she" asked him. "Or do you like long hair?"

He swallowed. This was too strange. Was it really…

The vampire ran a hand through "her" hair. It instantly grew a foot and a half, hanging like a waterfall fabricate with silk.

"That's it," "she" giggled. "I can tell because your heartbeat just increased. What else do you like?"

Walter had a hard time blinking.

He had seen Alucard transform before. That was nothing new. The elder vampire was a master of disguise, having the ability to take any shape he wanted. But usually he stayed in the form of a grown man, tall and slim, an air of impenetrability in his red eyes and a weapon in his hand. This was what Walter was used to. He knew what his companion was; he knew his history and the extent of his power. To see him in such a state…

This was a first. The figure before him was, undeniably, a girl, even if she was still wearing Alucard's trademark red coat.

She seemed to have read his mind. "You don't like red?" she asked with a pout. "How about white then?" Her clothing changed, the red coat fading into a snowy white suit and ankle boots. She even gave herself a fluffy pillow hat, sitting crooked on top of her midnight-black hair. "There. How's that?"

Walter collected himself quickly and turned away. Alucard followed in his (no, he thought, it's "her" now… isn't it?) new petite form. "What are you doing?"

Alucard scooted a bit closer to him. "You're blushing," she whispered, much too close to his ear.

He knew he was blushing. Heat was rising to his face in waves, making him more self-conscious by the moment. The whole idea of it was too crazy. This was Alucard, his friend and comrade. More importantly, a 500-year-old vampire.

"What color eyes do you like?" she asked him softly, her red pupils glowing. "I can change that, too. Do you like blue? Brown? Maybe gr…"

He pushed her. Not hard. But far enough to no longer feel her cool breath on his earlobe. "I don't know what you're doing," he said, "but stop it."

The last three words weren't very convincing, and she caught it.

"Does fighting make you feel like a man?"

He turned towards her, but did not look her in the eye. Her voice was so soothing, like a splash of cold water. "I suppose."

"That's not what I mean." She leaned in close again, this vampire girl who was not really a girl, but had that look of spirit and fun that he really liked in human girls. He sat down on his bed and she did the same, putting her hand much too close to his thigh. "I meant, does it make you feel like a man?"

He moved away from her on the bed. "I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do." They had reached the end of the bed. There was no place to scoot back as she moved in and laid her chin on his shoulder, her cherry lips whispering, "does it stir you?"

He shivered. "Quit it."

She didn't. "Does killing stir you inside? Does dancing with your wires on the battlefield excite you? Does danger light in fire in your loins?" Her lip touched his ear. "Does blood?"

It wasn't right.

As he fought the urge to bite her bait, Walter knew that it wasn't right. It was too strange. With all his willpower he pushed her away again.

"Stop playing with me!"

She caught his hand. Instead of nudging it aside, she held on. He looked at her in surprise as she slid his fingers down the curve of her neck.

"I'm not playing, Walter," she purred. "This is lesson. To be a man, you must first know the pleasures of a man. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"What are you…"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Alucard smiled. "What's the matter? You don't like this look?"

He did like that look. Walter swallowed hard as his body did things that he had always considered to be very inappropriate in the company of other men. He could feel the tension build inside, the blood rushing downward. The vampire… was he really a she now? A woman? A girl? In every way?

The question made him turn beet red. Alucard only chuckled and continued to hold the young butler's hand.

"Just relax," she said. "Being a man isn't as difficult as you think." A smirk appeared. "Or perhaps I should said, as hard as you think."

He thought he would flinch when she reached for his crotch, putting her slender fingers around him and stroking, gently at first, then harder. The sensation her movement brought spread like ripples through him. She moved onto the bed and peered into his shocked eyes.

"Do you want to kiss me?" she asked.

He started to nod, then thought better of it and started to shake his head, but it was too late. She had beaten him to it. Her lips were pressed against his, forcefully, but not uncomfortably so. Her fangs scraped against his lip. He opened his mouth a bit and her tongue slid inside, playing with his teeth, the roof of his mouth, exploring as if it had a mind of its own. She was very cold.

Then she pulled away. Just as he was beginning to close his eyes and fall into it, she suddenly seemed very far away. She released his hand and sat back as he gazed at her in bewilderment.

"That, my dear Walter," she said, "is a grown-up kiss. It's a kiss meant for a man."

He nodded hazily.

"If you want," Alucard continued, "that is, if you so desire, we can do the rest. All the rest that comes with that kiss. There is much more to this lesson. The only question is, do you want to learn?"

Then, as he sat there fighting his urges and at the mean time trying to grasp the absurdity of the situation, she unbuttoned her shirt.

Her skin was flawless, completely unblemished by scars, birthmarks, or freckles. Every inch of her was smooth and perfect, as if molded by careful hands. As her shirt fell from her shoulders he saw that she had a young girl's body, very tender, very tight, with just the slightest hint of bulge at the chest. She ran a hand over her shoulder and he heard the sensual sound of skin against skin.

"You're not too young," she said, leaning forward and placing her budding breasts directly in front of his quivering eyes. "There's not that many layers to a man."

He kissed her, so suddenly that he actually managed to take her by surprise, the ancient vampire who had seen five centuries of lust and trysts. His fingers wrapped themselves around her forearms, gripping tightly. Something inside him felt like it was about to rupture.

He forced her backwards, and she let him. He pushed her down into the sheets and she just smiled, leading him on, guiding him, allowing him to take charge and feel his way. He was breathing very hard, all the while wondering whether this was wrong, whether he was violating some moral code that will land him an eternity in hell.

"There is no right or wrong," whispered Alucard, unbuttoning the boy's shirt. "A man does not always have to be concerned with right and wrong. Sometimes it's all about moving forward, following what feels right." She nipped Walter's ear. "Besides, we're already in hell. This war is hell."

A single bead of sweat slid down the side of his face as Walter buried his face in Alucard's neck, tasting her skin and simultaneously struggling out of the rest of his clothing, which suddenly felt very cumbersome. She giggled, a sound that almost made him stop because it sounded so very unnatural. But then she was naked, her own clothing vanishing like morning mist.

"Men do not hesitate," she purred. "They do not have to."

He entered her – there was no graceful way to say such a thing for it was not a graceful act, particularly on the man's part – and she moved with him, sharing in his ecstasy and excitement. For a moment, for those preciously few minutes, all was lost, and there was that rush of heat and blood, the same within one's body as a battlefield on fire.

When it was over they laid side by side. Walter found himself trailing his eyes on the ceiling, and suddenly very aware of the chill on his exposed skin. His companion rested on her stomach, head pillowed on her arms, red eyes peering out from beneath neat black bangs.

"Part of me thinks I was too young for that," he muttered and raised a hand to the ceiling. The silhouette of his fingers looked like a shadow puppet against the white paint.

Alucard curled a corner of her lip. A silent sneer. "No, Walter," she said. "That's a misconception. Sex is just like war. There is both pleasure and pain, both excitement and regret, both blood and ecstasy. If you can fuck like a man, you can fight like a man, whether it's a street brawl or an inquisition."

Walter sighed. "It seems such a crude way to put it."

"This is a crude world. The truth is crude. The so-called saints of the church can pretend all they want that their own bodies are not the result of the 'sins' that you and I have just committed, but it's a fact. Cover up your, eyes the battle stills rages on regardless of whether you see it or not. Death happens."

The boy cracked a man's smile, deep and thoughtful. Alucard turned over and sat up.

"That's all the pillow talk I can handle for one night," she announced as layers of clothing reappeared on her body. White again. Walter rolled onto his side.

"Can I ask you one question?"

She seemed to consider this. "Alright."

"Why did you do this?" A faint blush painted his face. "I mean, I do appreciate it…"

"Don't over think it," said the vampire, straightening her collar. "I need you at full strength in Warsaw tomorrow. Can't have you hesitating and let down the master."

"It doesn't bother you to…"

"Look like this?" she cut him off again, smirking. "I've lived for a long time, Walter. And when you live this long, you experiment."

"You've done this before?"

Alucard played with her hair. "Well, not exactly. You should be flattered."

"I should?"

"No one's ever got to be on top before."

Feeling a bit embarrassed (and indeed flattered), Walter grinned and bit his lip. The color on his face deepened a bit as another question flowed to his mind.

"You're wondering whether we can do this again," said Alucard, reading his mind accurately with a hint of amusement. She rocked on her heels. "Who knows? Maybe I'll stay like this for a while. Even in Warsaw. Perhaps it will remind you to be a man, both on the battlefield and in the bedroom. If you're still alive afterwards…" She winked.

He slept well that night, but woke very early, just as the dawn was breaking.