PART DEUX!

Aishi: As promised, (and requested by a few reviewers- MWAH! THANKYOU for liking this piece of randomness) I have returned with another installment of-

MYSTERIOUSLY CONVENIENT CIRCUMSTANCES! DUNDUNDUUUUUUUN!

Lestat: (from inside closet) stop striking that pose! That's MY sexy dramatic pose!

Aishi: (smacks closet door with a broom) I'll feed you to my witch monkey!

Lestat: you don't have a witch monkey.

Aishi: … Mysterious… Anyways. This chapter actually makes LESS sense than the first one, if that's possible. I'm not sure why it took me so long to write it. I think I was trying to juggle about four other actual, real stories and forgot to be random. Hate it, please because I don't think I did well.

Part Two: Of Rats and Bread (or: Isn't Fairytopia that Barbie Movie?)

In the Lair of Evil:1

Louis: What exactly is it you plan to do with me?

Penguin: Wok wok2?

Louis: - Not you. I was speaking to the girl with the oversized-

Kagura: Yeeeeeeees?

Louis: … hammer.

Kagura: ILOVEYOU! (Smacks him with hammer)

Louis: … Arr…. If you let me go, I'll give you a lock of my hair?

Kagura: (gets out Hair collection) let's see… Legolas, Light Yagami3, Michael Jackson… Nope, I don't have a lock from you

Louis: Omg, you have a lock of Michael Jackson's hair? I love that guy… can I trade you my limited edition boxers from Davey Havok for that?

Kagura: (thinks for a second) NO! (Pulls rope and Louis falls into a bottomless pit)

Louis: AHHHHHHHHHHH- hey, I found a Cheetah in here- !

Kagura: Uh-oh… me sorry?

Meanwhile, in … Fairytopia4

Lestat: … Who likes baked beans and cowboys?

Marius: KABBALAH! (Smashes through the wall)

Shigure: … There IS a door, you know.

Door: (humps dog)

Marius: Ahem. Hello, Lestat, hello, Armand…

Armand: (running on treadmill while the YFC's chase him on exercise bikes) Huff, huff, HELLO MARIUS!

YFC: Hi Marius!

Momiji: Have you met before?

Haru: Sure. I, and the Yuki Fan club, go over to his house for milk and cookies every Thursday.

Marius: Lemon cookies, I might add.

Haru: WRONG! THEY'RE CHOCOLATE CHIP! (Throws him into a jail cell with Momiji and Ritsu)

Lestat: What was that all about?

Ayame: Dear Gure, WHEN did you have a jail cell installed?

Hana: That is the Ninth rule of Mysteriously Convenient Circumstances. There should Always be a jail cell and/or torture devices located nearby.

Shigure: And I thought it would be kinky for playing cops and robbers.

Hatori: Finger go heere? (Places finger on guitar string)

Kisa: (looks around for announcer guy)

Announcer Guy: I should be safe in here. (Hiding in garbage can)

Batman: Get out! (Throws him into a blender5)

Marius: … Um… hello pretty young ladies?

Momiji: …BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

Ritsu: (bursts into tears)

Marius: - Women. Really.

Momiji: (pees pants from laughing)

Ritsu: …. NOOOOOOOOOOO! !6

Marius: … Arr… no habla Espanola?

Ritsu: ! SO SORRRYSORRY!

Marius: … I like you. You're coming home with me. (Puts Ritsu in his pocket)

Momiji: YAY! Ice-cream!

Marius: Ah, what the hell (licks Momiji's face7)

Haru: Well. With them out of the way, Yuki, we can get down to the REAL business at hand. (Sits on top of Yuki)

Yuki: '/' which is?

Haru: Making bread. (Gets out flour, eggs, milk, mixing bowls, etc.)

Lestat: ooh! Ooh! OOOOOH! I must join in! (Also sits on Yuki)

Ayame: To inform everyone, I am the residential bread making champion amongst my school's student council. You see, to decide who the best at making the bread was; we didn't actually make any bread, but rather had a contest of many things like skill, wisdom, and best bikini body. In the end it was a tie which had to be resolved with a contest called soggy sweatbox-

Tohru: I like to make bread.

Kyo: You like NOTHING! Go do my laundry.

Tohru: … Yes sir.

Armand: (still running on treadmill) I think I almost outrun them!

YFC: WE'RE CATCHING UP!

Somewhere in Gotham City:

Robin: This story makes no sense. They can neither be catching up nor escaping on exercise bikes and treadmills, both stay in place. And why is a vampire making bread he cannot eat? And why is batman in the story when he has NOTHING to do with it?

Aishi: SHUTTHEFUP! OR I WILL FEED YOU TO MY WITCHMONKEY!

Robin: You have no witch-monkey.

Back in Fairytopia:

Rin: (also sitting on Yuki) Pass the salt.

Marius: (passes her the salt) Pass the butter.

Haru: (passes him the butter) Pass the eggs.

Hiro: (passes him the eggs) Pass the cocaine.

Yuki: (passes him the cocaine) Why are so many people sitting on top of me making bread?

Lestat: I'LL TELL YOU WHY! ONCE, IN FRANCE, A YOUNG NOBLEMAN NAMED LESTAT WAS KILLING WOLVES AND-

Aya: None, none, which is not the reason at ALL! (Stands on Yuki) IT ALL STARTED WITH MUCH STRANGENESS! I WAS OUT IN MY SWEATSHOP WHERE MANY POOR CHILDREN MAKE CLOTHES FOR ME8 WHEN-

Kisa: We like to & (in hurt you. (Puts firecracker down Yuki's pants.)

Uotani: My. I…hurt…

Kyo: Yes, yes, it does.

(Kagura bursts through the door holding a naked Louis)

Kagura: MY FRIEND NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED! HHE STOLE MY LOCK OF HAIR FROM MICHAEL JACKSON9!

Louis: Beekeeper! I am NUDE!

(Louis' man-bits are covered with a large rubber ducky)

Lestat: Le gasps! I simply MUST have one of those! (Throws off his clothes)

Ayame: Why Lestat, your ducky has fangs… and devil horns! And a guitar! (Snuggles the duck)

Lestat: Ooh… you can snuggle my ducky ANYTIME!

Shigure: What about MY ducky10? (Heartbroken)

Ayame: Mmm… what was that? Oh, yes, Gure, I remembered to put out the washing. (Continues rubbing his face against the duck located in Lestat's nether regions)

Shigure: THAT'S IT! Lestat, I declare WAR!

Lestat: Hmm?

Shigure: You want to steal my Aya from me! I shall battle you for his heart!

Lestat: Ah! So it is a battle you desire! Very well, the fabulously sexy and powerful Lestat will comply! How do I say this…? BRING it ONN! (Snaps fingers and does the head-action like a cheerleader)

(The two run off into a closet and much grunting and straining can be heard)

Marius: … Who likes chocolate puppies11? I have some in my car (strokes Momiji's head)

Momiji: Ya! Loveless?

Marius: … Sure, whatever that meant. (Continues petting Momiji)

Armand: Huff, huff, if I run two more laps, I might qualify!

All: …. GO ARMY GO!

(The grunting and straining noises from the closet have, at this point, turned into moans)

Ayame: 'Gure, dear, you're not doing anything I wouldn't do, are you?

Louis: (still nude) Ayame, there isn't much you WOULDN'T do.

Aya: Damn. Well… you aren't doing anything Haru wouldn't do, are you?

Haru: (burying his face in Yuki's stomach) Tummmyyyyy!

Aya: … Damn, I'm running out of people with limitations.

Hatori: - (opens closet door)

(Inside, Shigure and Lestat are playing Tekken on PS2 and Lestat is still naked12)

Lestat: Rhhhhhhhhh, Ahhhh! Hwoarang, kick him!

Shigure: Mmm, Mmm, Oh! I lose TT

Lestat: Pay up, doggy.

Shigure: Oh, okay… (Hands him the dead, headless body of Akito)

Lestat: Ya! Now I may do as I please with this.

Marius: Just as I'm going to do? (Putting Momiji in his pocket)

Ritsu: It's cramped in here- OH NO I'M COMPLAINING! !

Momiji: My cat's breath smells like cat food 13

Kyo: No it doesn't!

Marius: (stuffs Kyo into his pocket as well) Muahahahahahaaaa!

Hanajima: Just so everyone knows, the closet scene was Rule Six of Mysteriously Convenient Circumstances. If two characters run into a closet and begin making sex-noises, chances are, they will be doing something inane and random and NOT actually having sex. Unless of course you're in the mind of a perverted, depraved author/authoress who doesn't get enough as it is-

Aishi: A-Okay, you can just urusai there or you're gonna be sushi. And fed to my witch-monkey.

Momiji: Yatta! Worse fan girl Japanese! Hai, Hai!

1 This, as I said, is nothing more than a leaky basement with a bottomless pit installed in somehow.

2 This penguin also happens to be the emperor of Rubala.

3 From Deathnote. That anime PWNS ASS! (pets Ryuk)

4 Any place that has Ayame and Lestat gathered together has to be some kind of fairy world.

5 Not to be mistaken for a Bender.

6 Ten points to the reviewer who can figure out what the HELL he's on about. Even I don't know.

7 Marius: Just to let everyone know, Momiji tastes a bit like lime coke and mint tea.

8 Ayame's sweatshop: the only sweatshop that runs on PURE EROTIKA!

9 When Michael Jackson dies, they're going to melt him down and turn him into an Xbox. … Please don't kill me if you're an MJ fan.

10 Shigure's duck would be a dog. (Gure: If it's a duck how can it be a dog? Aishi: Shut up or I feed you to my witch monkey.)

11 Chocolate puppies © Alecia

12 I knoooooow you're enjoying the nudity. Don't lie.

13 Can anyone tell me who this quote is from? I know, but I'm not telling