Chapter 100- Epilogue

Inui sat at his desk, finishing up the last sentence to the entire logging of his quest with various other tennis players. “It has been one week since our journey, and it seems as though no time had passed at all while we were gone. Unless we were all experiencing the same peculiar dream, which has a likelihood of .006 percent, then I have no explanation as to why the events happened to us.”

Inui looked at the remote that sat across the room and frowned.

“Needless to say,” he continued writing. “Most people who do recall the events seem to see fit in blaming me for all the symptoms they are experiencing as a result of our trip.”

Inui adjusted his glasses.

“Atobe, Captain of the Hyoutei Tennis Team, called me the other day and informed me of some troubles his team was having. As a matter of fact, it seems as though captains from all teams are calling me and informing me of their misfortunes, as if I could really do anything about it. Though, something tells me they are exaggerating.”

“Well that’s just fantastic!” Atobe grumbled as he and his tennis team sat in their locker room.

“I’d hardly call this fantastic, Atobe,” said Jirou, shaking his head.

“It’s so like Gakuto though,” Hiyoshi shrugged. “He WOULD forget that he couldn’t defy gravity with ninja like skills anymore and end up misjudging his landing and fall on his face and break his nose.”

“Way to just say that.” Said Gakuto as he caressed his injured nose that was all misshapen and ugly.

“Can he still play?” Oshitari asked.

“Let’s hope so.” Said Atobe. He sighed heavily. “Well, while we’re all here, we might as well talk about our experiences. Is everyone coping?”

“I strained something the other day,” Choutarou admitted, rubbing his shoulder pathetically.

“No, I’m talking about repercussions as a result of that annoying fifty day Universe hopping adventure we had.” Atobe said crossly.

“Well…it sort of IS from that…” Choutarou admitted, lowering his head.

“Choutarou was trying to pick something up that was too heavy but would have been no problem if he still had his super powers.” Shishido said, but then his cell phone rang. He picked it up, looked at the number and groaned.

“Who is it?” Jirou asked.

“It’s that annoying first year from Rokkaku!” Shishido said.

“Is he STILL calling you?” said Oshitari.

“He wants to hang out but I’m not returning his calls.” Shishido grumbled. “He’s left so many messages but I just delete them all.”

“Maybe he’s not as rehabilitated as he claimed to be.” Hiyoshi said.

“What about you, Hiyoshi?” said Atobe. “Are you experiencing any horrible side effects?”

“Um…” Hiyoshi said slowly. “Well…I saw all the movies and I’m going to read the books and… um…” He looked embarrassed. “I went to a Harry Potter convention.”

Everyone smacked him.

“Well, at least I’M not experiencing any horrible side effects,” said Atobe.

“Aside from your colorful outfits that hurt my eyes.” Jirou said.

“What?” demanded Atobe.

“I agree with Jirou this time,” said Oshitari. “You have been going over board with color ever since we got back. Sometimes, your outfits don’t even match.”

“Don’t sound so accusatory, Yuushi.” Said Gakuto. “You’re guilty of that too. I don’t think you’ve worn black OR white since we got back! And you look really good in black! Granted, you look good in any color, but still.”

“Gakuto, you’re making me just a little uncomfortable.” Oshitari admitted.

“Sorry.” Said Gakuto.

“Guys, I think I want to start playing acrobatic tennis…” said Jirou thoughtfully.

“NO, Jirou.” Said everyone.

“I guess Kabaji is the only one lucky enough to not be experiencing REAL side effects.” Said Shishido.

Everyone looked at Kabaji to discover that he was not there. In fact, he hadn’t been there the entire time!

“Huh?” they looked around for him but were unsuccessful in their search.

Just then, Kabaji entered.

“Kabaji!” Atobe said. “You were hanging around with Sengoku from Yamabuki again, weren’t you?”

“Usu,” said Kabaji.

“Woe is me!” said Atobe as his buried his face in his hands and ran away crying.

“Mizuki, you’re not a king anymore so you can’t order us around!” said Atsushi.

“Mizuki was never a king, but he always ordered us around.” Said Yanagisawa with a shrug.

“What I say goes,” said Mizuki. “And I say I want to try out a new formation for our upcoming match!”

“Since I am the captain of this team, you have to be sure to run all changes in the formations by me first!” said Akazawa. You know. That guy that nobody cares about.

“Yuuta likes my idea, don’t you, Yuuta?” said Mizuki.

“Um…you haven’t even told us your idea yet.” Yuuta pointed out.

“Oh right!” chuckled Mizuki. “But I was kind of hoping you would just nod your head in response, and maybe make some comment about your affinity to apples.”

“I can speak the language and understand it just fine!” Yuuta said angrily.

“I’m so confused!” exclaimed Kaneda. You know, another one of those guys that nobody cares about.

Suddenly, a brick came flying through the window. Atsushi ran over to it and picked it up while everyone else dove for cover. The note attached to it said, “ATSUSHI, YOU’RE UGLY EVEN THOUGH I’M NOT AND WE LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. ONLY YOU’D BE STUPID ENOUGH TO MANAGE THAT!”

“Ryou…!” said Atsushi as he shook his fist at the window. He turned around and called, “Come on, guys!”

The other members of St. Rudolph looked confused at first and thought he was talking to them. But, before they could voice their concerns to Atsushi, a bunch of random people who looked like they were part of a gang all plowed through the lockers and ran to Atsushi’s side. They did some kind of crazy handshake and then ran out the door to pursue Ryou.

“Oh Atsushi!” chuckled Mizuki.

“That is NOT constructive!” said Yuuta.

“Huh?” said Yanagisawa and the two people nobody cares about.

“All right, it’s a fact that all of us have new hobbies because of this crazy Universe thing…” Tachibana said to Shinji and Kamio as they made their way to tennis practice. “But it’s important that we don’t make the others worry about us. After all, as far as they were concerned, we never went anywhere and it would concern them if we seemed strange to them.”

“Is it really so strange to want to play TWO sports?” Kamio said.

“Well, so suddenly…” Tachibana evaluated.

“And is it strange that you want to take up a musical instrument?” Kamio put his hands on his hips.

“Not really…” Tachibana admitted.

“And is it REALLY so strange that I am now absolutely OBSESSED with Harry Potter?” Shinji said. The other two looked at him to see that he was all decked out in Harry Potter paraphernalia to the point in which if you saw him walk by, you would point and laugh. His new tennis bag was even a Harry Potter tennis bag.

“Well…that’s a little strange… AND it came out of nowhere.” Tachibana said truthfully.

“Oh.” Said Shinji.

“Well, okay,” said Tachibana. “We can all do whatever we want, but just don’t make it seem sudden to the others. And, most importantly, don’t let it interfere with tennis at all.”

“Of course not!” screamed Shinji and Kamio.

“Then we’re good.” Tachibana shrugged.

“Why do I feel so EMPTY inside?” Kirihara complained as he trudged around the Rikkai Dai locker room. Sanada, Yukimura and Renji were the only other ones present. Everyone else had stomach aches.

The other three observed Kirihara.

“I feel like I’m missing a big part of me that used to stand right here and whinny every once and a while!” Kirihara said as he pointed to the big open void next to him.

“Do you miss your horse?” Yukimura said tenderly.

Kirihara pouted and nodded.

“Aww…do you need a hug?” Yukimura asked.

Kirihara nodded again as Yukimura hugged him.

“Have you ever thought about getting a pet?” Sanada suggested.

“My horse wasn’t a PET!” Kirihara said. “She was my friend. She actually LIKED me!”

“WE like you, Kirihara.” Said Renji.

“By the way, how’s YOUR withdrawal going, Renji?” Yukimura asked.

“Withdrawal?” Renji inquired.

“You know,” said Yukimura. “You were a vampire. You sucked people’s blood. You can’t do that anymore because it’s unnatural and against the law. How is that going?”

Renji just sat there stone faced. “Withdrawal?” he repeated.

“So you’re not experiencing any withdrawal?” Sanada tried.

“No…why would I be experiencing any withdrawal?” Renji said.

The others nodded.

“Wait…” said Kirihara. “Um…are you not experiencing any withdrawal because you have strong will power… or are not experiencing any withdrawal because you’re still sucking people’s blood?”

Renji stared at Kirihara as if he was stupid.

“Do you even have to ask that?” Renji said.

They all chuckled. Then hesitantly cleared their throats.

“Well…you haven’t answered the question yet…” Kirihara pointed out.

“I find it amusing that you don’t know the answer.” Renji said.

“He’s not answering…” Sanada whispered to Yukimura.

“Oh come now,” said Renji. “You all know me.”

The chuckles became very cautious.

“He’s still not answering…” Sanada whispered.

“As we speak, Inui is dismantling the remote so we won’t ever have to wonder if it’ll come back to haunt us again.” Said Tezuka. “So, even though it might be tempting to let your guards down, you have to continue to keep them up.”

Everyone cheered.

“How’s it feel to be male again, Oishi?” Eiji asked.

Oishi slapped his forehead and looked like he was JUST about to crack, but then he realized it was probably the last time he’d ever have to hear about it so he might as well be nice about it.

“It feels great, Eiji.” Oishi answered.

“YAY!” Eiji exclaimed.

“I am quite relieved as well.” Said Fuji.

Fuji and Oishi gave another sigh of happiness and relief. And they probably leaned back confidently and admired… themselves.

“Anyone up for a tennis match?” Ryoma asked as he stood in the doorway with his tennis racket. He had been standing like that for like twenty-five minutes and asked the question about six times whenever there was a break in the conversation.

“I sort of wish I was still a mega-awesome pirate ninja…” said Momo. “With a telescope.”

“I am warning you all,” Tezuka said. “If any of you let your guards down and end up letting what happened to us interfere with your tennis practices or abilities, you will be removed from the Regulars.”

Everyone gulped.

“Is that comment directed towards me?” Kaidou questioned.

“Why would you say that?” said Momo. “Other than the fact that you bought a soccer ball.”

“Well you’re the one who bought num-chucks.” Kaidou said.

“They were plastic num chucks that I got at the Halloween store!” Momo corrected.

“Come on, Momo, you weren’t even in the Ninja Universe,” said Eiji.

“So…tennis anyone?” Ryoma said.

“Ryoma, stop asking us if we want to play tennis.” Tezuka ordered.

“Doesn’t anyone want to play though?” Ryoma said.

“Of course we DO, we just don’t want to play with YOU.” Said Momo.

“Why?” Ryoma asked.

They all gave Ryoma THAT LOOK.

“Taka, you’ve been strangely quiet.” Fuji noticed. “Is something wrong?”

Taka sighed. “I miss my horse.” He admitted.

“Oh Taka.” Said everyone.

Inui leaned away from his data book and paused a moment. He looked over at the remote that sat innocently on a bookshelf. Then he turned back to the data book and finished up.

“As for me, once I checked to see both of my eyes were intact and still in my head, I didn’t need to ask anymore questions. I rest assured knowing that the power source of the remote has been removed and such an adventure could never happen again.”

He looked satisfied and put his pen down.

His eyes once again wandered to the remote.

Then he picked up the pen again.

“Still,” he wrote. “I do wonder what might happen if I were to press the button again.”

With that, he put the pen down and shut the book.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
And now, the much anticipated stats! Sorry we can't give individual credits because there were a lot of double and triple requests. But thanks to everyone who gave us ideas for crazy stats! Some of them were annoying to find, but we did it.

Total chapters: 100
Total pages: 423 (wowzers!)
Total words: 200,000 (hopefully!)
Total Universes visited: 18
Total days spent scattered: 50
Total tennis players collected: 31
Total times “tennis” was mentioned: 231
Total high fives: 10
Total extended high fives: 1
Total hugs: 21
Total bitch slaps: 4
Total Power Ranger cheers: 2
Total raised eyebrows: 45
Total broken necks: 9
Total make-out scenes: 3
Total times someone started crying: 19
Total cracked out dream sequences: 8
(Total parenthetical statements:) 61
Total times “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” played: 3
Total times the twins broke into song: 7
Total times Momo obsessed over his telescope: 9
Total times Mizuki looked in The Eye: 7
Total times Renji sucked blood: 5
Total times Kentarou called Shishido “Jane”: 12
Total times Kaidou used the word “Hence”: 1
Total times Fuji killed someone: 7
Total times Kirihara was injured/killed: 6
Total times people acted “gaily” (AS IN HAPPILY!): 2
Total times Inui used his shotgun: 6
Total times internet slang (OMG, WTF, JK) was used: 29
Total powers Choutarou had: 22
Total limitations on powers Choutarou had: 13
Total times Tezuka said “Don't let your guard down”: 8
Total times two people were in SYNCHRO: 6
Total times Taka went Burning!Mode: 4
Total times Tachibana caused Fudomine to faint: 3
Total times Shishido said “Lame”: 14
Total times Yuuta had an amusing expression: 8
Total times Shishido was kidnapped: 7
Total times Jirou said “oh my god!”: 5
Total times Ryoma was referred to as the Prince of Tennis: 2
Total times Kamio was in the rhythm: 1
Total times Sengoku said some form of “Lucky!”: 3
Total times Oshitari & Atobe were told they had gray skin: 7
Total times someone just "looked sad": 4
Total times Eiji used/referred to his butter knife: 7
Total times Kirihara separated horses from one another: 8
Total times Eiji pointed out Oishi's feminine state: 16
Total times Ryoma failed at life: 31
Total times Shishido was in denial about TEH GHEY: 19
Total original characters with names: 31
Total times Taka obsessed over his horse: 29
Total times Kirihara obsessed over his horse: 17
Total times Yuuta's Pegasus was called "gay": 13
Total times Gakuto squealed over Oshitari: 14
Total times someone wore a bear suit: 1
Total times Tezuka had remote envy: 5
Total times Kabaji said "Usu": 35
Total times Mizuki told Yuuta an outrageous lie: 6
Total times someone frolicked: 11
Total tennis matches: 9
Total times someone mentioned the patch/Inui's eye: 12
Total times Renji sizzled up and died: 4
Body count (excluding the exploded school): 59
Total times sex occurred behind the scenes: 2

Thanks for reading, everyone! And thanks especially for all the support you gave us throughout. We hope it was enjoyable and original for all of you who have read our works in the past and also to the people who are reading for the first time. What a trip; our longest one yet. And, since we can't stay quiet for TOO long, be sure to keep an eye out for something new!

And yes, we did try very hard to make this exactly 200,000 words. I hope it ends up working out. If not then poo. Sucks for us, now doesn't it?