DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the boys, nor the plotlines of the show and manga. But I do own you. That’s right, you. And when this is all over, I will consume your children. - Raine Ishida

Editing note: 1,300 more here. And all the dialogue was changed, the series of events, the feel of every bit of the chapter. :P I have totally rewritten every chapter, but I think this one has changed the most so far.

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Complementary

Confrontation: Unlikely Friend

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Goku cried out happily as he dug into the meatbuns Hakkai had hidden from him. Both his meal and the treats were gone in a matter of seconds and he turned to eyeing Gojyo’s hungrily. He was picking through his rice and meat, leaving his meatbuns totally unguarded on his knee. Somehow, they looked far tastier than the ones Goku had already devoured, and one hand slowly began creeping towards them. His eyes darted between his goal and Gojyo’s face, currently turned away as he chatted with Hakkai. Only a few more inches now…

“Damnit chimp, don’t even think about it!”

Goku’s hand jerked back. “Don’t call me a chimp!” He made a wild lunge for one of the meatbuns, only to be stopped by an elbow to the temple. Goku groaned and reached blindly, snagging Gojyo’s hair and tugging it.

“Ow! You little shit, I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“Come on, you big jerk! Share!”

A cough interrupted them, calling both of them to turn toward Hakkai‘s warm smile. “Ah, Goku, you can have one of mine if you help me clean up after we’re done.”

Goku relented immediately, turning away from Gojyo with his nose tilted upward. “Hmph, alright. Thanks Hakkai!”

“Suck up.”

“Jealous?”

Gojyo’s face turned an angry puce, and his eye was twitching dangerously. Goku grinned as he inched away, trying to get out of Gojyo’s reach. The lunge was expected, and Goku managed to dodge to the left just in time. He nearly tumbled into the fire as he laughed, skittering backwards as fast as he could away from Gojyo’s flailing arms.

A few sound thwacks later, and both Gojyo and Goku were mumbling mutinously and rubbing their sore heads. Sanzo smirked in satisfaction, setting down his dishes and lighting a cigarette while Hakkai watched in wry amusement. He gathered the dishes and stood, holding out the bowls. “Goku?”

He took the small stack and followed Hakkai from the clearing, mulling over why Hakkai needed help with so few dishes. He guessed it was just a way for him to earn his food, but it seemed odd anyway. Goku narrowed his eyes at Hakkai’s back as he kneeled beside the stream they had come across and set aside the dirtied dishes before turning with his usual enigmatic smile.

“Goku… how are you?”

He blinked, head falling to the side. “Err, fine?”

“I would appreciate the truth, Goku.” Hakkai turned back to the dishes, lifting a plate and dunking it beneath the water.

Goku gave an uneasy smile to Hakkai‘s back, shifting his weight. “Umm, I don’t get it. What do you want me to say?”

“The truth of how you are feeling would be good. Pretending isn’t going to make you feel any better.”

Goku scrunched up his nose, looking away. “What’s the point? I‘m not totally stupid, ya know. I already knew he didn’t care. I’m over it, this changes nothing.”

“Please, Goku,” Hakkai said, turning and waiting for Goku to face him. “Don’t lie to me or yourself. Don‘t be prideful like the rest of us…”

“Just… just drop it, alright?” Goku flailed his arms, face screwing up into a scowl. “I don’t need to talk about it or nothing like that. It isn’t gonna help, Hakkai.”

“Goku…”

“Drop it. Please.” Goku spun on his heel, darting into the forest. He didn’t want to ‘talk out his feelings’ or ‘pour out his heart’. He could never talk right to begin with, never vocalize how he felt or thought. What made Hakkai think it would do anything now but frustrate him? Goku turned and decided against going back to camp, needing a bit of time to himself. There had to be some tree he could wail on. Just until he could pretend to forget again.

--

Hakkai’s eyes dropped once Goku was out of sight, and he removed his monocle to rub at the bridge of his nose. That could have gone much better. He hated seeing Goku close in on himself like this, clamming up when it came to talking about his emotions. It was so unlike him, so foreign. It was nearly painful to watch the young man grow up into something like the rest of them. He had always been the best of them, and Hakkai didn’t want him to lose that bright, ineffable spirit.

For months he had slowly watched Goku draw in on himself. Less often was he as innocently honest as he once had been, less often was Hakkai sure of his smiles. He had chalked it up to some malady of being a teen, remembering his own teenaged years well enough to know how volatile they could be. But with that morning… he worried this would only compound the changes overtaking his younger friend. And that was the last thing any of them needed. Goku was their light in the dark, they couldn’t afford to lose that on such a murky journey.

He finished the last bowl and stacked them together, sighing as he stood and cracked his back. He really should be focusing on his own problems, his own insecurities with the night before. But he wouldn’t -- couldn’t -- face that right now. He needed more time.

His senses screamed suddenly, and Hakkai whipped toward the direction of the campsite. Youkai presence was closing in fast. He stacked the bowls together, scooping them up and pressing them to his chest as he ran towards his group members.

Breaking into the clearing, Hakkai bit back a chuckle as he took in the scene. Gojyo was leaning on his weapon, snickering loudly. Sanzo had his gun drawn and his eyebrows were twitching dangerously. On his shoulders sat Lirin, grin on her face as she devoured a meatbun, crumbs falling into Sanzo’s hair.

“Well hello, Miss Lirin. Are the others close behind?”

Lirin nodded before swallowing, poking a finger at Sanzo’s nose. “Big brother Kougaiji will be here soon, so you’d better gimme the scripture, baldy Sanzo!”

Sanzo was growling audibly. “Get off of me, you little brat.”

“Aww, don’t be so mean!”

Hakkai glanced around and realized Goku was nowhere to be seen, brows furrowing. He turned his look to Sanzo, silently asking if Goku had been back. An attempted lift of his shoulder, aborted by the rather heavy weight set upon them, was Hakkai’s answer. He only hoped that Goku would feel better after the fight he was sure to be involved in soon.

--

The moment he had sensed the familiar group, Goku’s feet were already carrying him off to meet them. Pounding on a tree just didn’t give the satisfaction he needed, and he was eager for the stimulating fight Kougaiji always provided. If anything would work, a fight with Kougaiji was sure to take his mind off his troubles.

He could feel Yaone and Dokugakuji moving on, and was pleased to feel the youkai prince stopped not far ahead. He must have felt Goku coming, and after as many meetings as the two groups had had, the routine was well known. Lirin would pester Sanzo, Yaone would gently spar with Hakkai, and Dokugakuji and Gojyo would taunt one another as they clashed. And finally, Goku and Kougaiji would imminently fight with all they had, trying to best the other even though they knew how evenly matched they were. Each simply hoped to have grown stronger than the other, faster and better.

Goku slid to a halt at an escarpment, summoning his weapon before his motion had even halted. Kougaiji glanced from the corner of his eye, lips tilting. “Son Goku, are you ready?”

Goku grinned. “Any time.”

They leapt immediately into battle, Kougaiji leaning to the side to avoid Goku’s Nyoi-bou and sending his leg in a sweep beneath him. Goku leapt over it, sending his elbow back to connect with the Kougaiji’s skull, spinning just in time to avoid a fist flying at his face. This was a fight. This was nothing like mowing through inept youkai, nothing like taking his frustration out on helpless foliage. Fighting Kougaiji was pure adrenaline, blows matching blows and speed equal between them. It was invigorating. Enlivening.

Goku often wished that they didn’t have to be enemies. He had always thought of the group as friends, happy when they could come to visit. So what if their visits included murder attempts and threats? Kougaiji, Yaone, Dokugakuji, and even Lirin… they were all so good and kind, and Goku hated that they were on different sides. Goku could tell that Kougaiji had reasons for what he did, that there was a drive behind his attempts for the sutra. He obviously needed it for something important. It was too bad that they couldn’t work together, but Goku knew that would never happen, not with the pride of them all on the line.

Pride. Goku nearly cringed at the reminder of what Hakkai had said. Was he lying to himself? No. Goku was well aware of his feelings and emotions that were currently unbearably entangled. But he wasn’t about to talk about it, wasn’t going to break down. Goku let Nyoi-bou disappear, diving forward onto his hands and flipping himself forward. Kougaiji moved in time to avoid having Goku’s feet planted in his chest, and Goku stumbled as he hit the ground, leaving himself open for a hard punch to the back of his head, sending him sprawling into the dirt.

“Pay attention, Son Goku!” Kougaiji snapped, yanking Goku by the ankle and landing another blow to the back of his head. Goku saw stars. “You are fighting me, so keep your mind here!”

Goku grunted and leapt to his feet, speeding forward again before he was knocked flat on his back. He didn’t know what as wrong with him suddenly, but he felt so drained. He wanted to fight, needed to, but he felt as if all the will to do so had fallen away. He leapt up and dove at Kougaiji, managing to catch him around the middle and sending them both to the ground, a hard punch connecting with the youkai’s cheek.

Kougaiji quickly countered with fire, throwing Goku off of him. Goku faltered as he noticed how close the cliff’s edge was, and it was enough for Kougaiji to grab him, throwing him careening into a rock in the other direction. Goku laid there, panting, staring up at the pale afternoon sky. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t move.

“Get up!” said Kougaiji, stalking towards him. Goku rolled over and sat up, glaring at his adversary without any real heat. The youkai paused, fists clenching. When Goku made no move to get up, he jammed a foot into Goku’s chest, knocking him back flat onto the ground. “Have you gotten weaker, then? Or are you simply so distracted that you would get yourself killed?”

Goku grabbed Kougaiji’s ankle and flipped him away, pushing himself to his feet and brushing off his pants. “Draw.” He didn’t want to be here, not now. Even fighting wasn’t enough for him. He felt a headache building behind his eyes, and suddenly felt much like Sanzo. It was an inane thought, but it seemed appropriate. With a humorless laugh, Gokui flipped a wave to Kougaiji and dashed away into the forest once more.

--

Sanzo watched irritably as the members of his party chatted with the enemy. Hakkai and Yaone had tired of their fight first, Yaone insisting on helping Hakkai pack their damned camp site. They mulled around like perfect little wives, tidying and giggling behind their hands. Dokugakuji and Gojyo were leaning back in the shade, still trading insults but having gotten bored with their endless back and forth spar. Sanzo was glad he couldn’t hear whatever obtuse drivel they were spouting.

The little nuisance had finally gotten off of his shoulders but was still pestering him, rambling on about one thing or another her ‘amazing big brother’ could do. Sanzo’s disinterest didn’t seem to effect her, even as he picked at his ear and stared into the forest. But he wasn’t waiting for Goku. No, it was just somewhere to stare.

Kougaiji entered the clearing with a frown, and after taking in the scene it deepened.

“We‘re going,” he softly said, calling the attention of his three companions.

“Aww man, I wanted to stay and talk to baldy Sanzo some more!”

Sanzo’s fan connected with the back of her head. “Get out of here, brat.”

She pouted for a fraction of a moment before grinning, latching onto him and shouting a goodbye before moving to the others and giving effusive farewells. With a leap she was attached to Kougaiji’s back, waving over his shoulder and grinning like she hadn’t a care in the world. Something tugged in Sanzo, recalling the carefree grins of a younger Goku, prancing around the monastery and happy just to be alive.

When was the last time he’d really seen him like that?

It was before the incident with Hazel, surely. Perhaps even before the journey if he was honest with himself. Not that it mattered, of course, but it tugged at him nonetheless. Losing that overenthusiastic happiness seemed stark in the short moment he watched the youkai girl and her brother.

With a few farewells, the group was apologizing to their leader and readying themselves to leave. Just as they reached the clearing’s edge, Kougaiji turned, looking to Hakkai with pursed lips. “It is not my business nor of my concern, but whatever is wrong with Son Goku should remedied. If he were to be as careless against another enemy as he was against me, he could be killed.” He turned and walked away, ignoring the questions and looks of his companions as they disappeared to wherever they had tied their dragons.

Hakkai and Gojyo were looking at one another across the clearing, grim frowns on their faces. Sanzo looked from one to the other with a scowl. “What the fuck was he talking about?”

Gojyo glared, eye twitching. “You know damned well, you shitty monk.”

“Like hell!”

Hakkai was wringing his hands. “Gojyo, this isn’t--”

“You are both fucking dim, you know that?” Gojyo snarled, fists clenched at his sides. He looked from Sanzo to Hakkai, and when neither made a move to speak he spun on his heel shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked into the forest.

“Hey, moron, we have to get the hell out of here! Where are you going?!”

“To find the monkey!”

In lieu of asking, Sanzo turned an icy look on Hakkai, one brow twitching in irritation. Hakkai sighed, leaning back onto a large rock and closing his eyes, turning his face towards the sun. “I am quite sure I know what he means… but Sanzo, perhaps now is not the time for this discussion.”

“Cut the shit.”

Hakkai turned to Sanzo, green eyes dark and angry. “Gojyo is upset because he feels that he and Goku are in similar situations.”

Sanzo continued staring, awaiting the clarification that would surely come.

Hakkai looked away, jaw clenching and unclenching. There was a stretching silence in which Sanzo considered drawing out his fan and using it against Hakkai, despite never needing to in the past. But this overdramatic pausing was getting on his damned nerves. He needed to know what was wrong with the morons so he could kick their asses and make it stop. He didn’t need them burdened and angry on the journey. They needed to be useful; already they were messing things up and making them late in leaving.

Sanzo was so deep in his annoyance, he almost missed it when Hakkai finally spoke. Almost. “You see, both Gojyo and Goku suffer from the same malady: unrequited love.”

The breath had been stolen from him. That word, that damnable and awful word. He hated it. Despised all it stood for. Even with the modifier ’unrequited’, it still implied attachment. And attachment was pain, was loss. He hated the word, hated the implications. His eyes narrowed dangerously, body suddenly shaking uncontrollably in his rage.

“You see,” Hakkai continued, angry eyes now focused mockingly on Sanzo. “For months now I have known of Gojyo’s feelings, but I know I cannot return them. The blood is too fresh on my hands, I cannot possibly love another. He knows this, and yet he feels.” Hakkai’s eyes softened, turning away. “And Goku? Goku’s feelings have been more than apparent for a very long time.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sanzo forced the words out from behind clenched teeth, staring at Hakkai’s profile.

“Don’t I, though?” said Hakkai, “You asked, Sanzo. You wanted to know. I told you now was likely not the best time, but you asked anyway. Goku’s feelings have been obvious since before we left Chang’an over a year ago. We‘ve all known. Why do you think that this has effected him so badly? You know very well, Sanzo, why it hurt him. It seems you are just as much in the habit of lying to yourself as Goku has become. Or perhaps he learned it from you.”

Sanzo couldn’t stay there, not with Hakkai’s accusing eyes mocking him. He was walking out of the clearing, but it felt like he was fleeing with all he had. Running. Faster and faster, sprinting away. Even if he moved one slow step at a time, in his mind he was stumbling and falling, whipping through the trees. Hakkai was wrong. He had to be wrong. There was no way that Goku was such a fool… who was he kidding? This was Goku. Of course he was an idiot. But hadn’t Sanzo raised him right? Hadn’t the fool ape been listening to him?! How in the name of the Merciful Hag could this had happened? But no. No, Hakkai had to be wrong. Because Sanzo didn’t know how he would be able to handle it if he was right.

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A/N: Next two chapters are mostly done as well, but heavy, heavy rearranging and replotting has slowed progress. But I’m trying to just finish this project so that I can rest knowing that this story is fully edited. ;) And it isn’t like I can write anything original lately, anyway. --