Title: State of Flux

Author: Ellie J.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: For the 2006 Livejournal Chlack Challenge. Takes place two weeks after the end of season 5. Jack has been rescued and is recovering. He discovers that Chloe has been keeping something from him. He also re-evaluates his relationship with Audrey. I couldn’t find any screencaps showing Chloe’s apartment so in my little universe she has a first floor apartment with direct street access.

Disclaimer: I don’t own 24 or any of the characters. I’m just playing with them.

Jack slowly entered the large room that had been set up for the memorial service with Audrey at his side. It had been two weeks since his return from the dead. That first week had been spent in the belly of a Chinese frigate regularly being beaten by his kidnappers. He’d then been rescued and had spent the past week recovering in CTU’s infirmary where Bill had told him they could better protect him.

The funerals for the individuals who died that day had already happened, but many of the CTU personnel hadn’t been able to attend because of ongoing security problems. Now that things were finally calming down a bit, Bill and Karen had arranged for a memorial service to be held in honor of everyone who had lost their lives that day.

This was Jack’s first foray outside of the infirmary, but nothing was going to stop him from being there. Not his injuries. Not his guilt. And certainly not Audrey’s quiet pleas that he continue to take it easy. He felt that he owed it to Tony and to Michelle and to everyone else who had died that day.

There was also another reason why he had been so determined to come to the service. His eyes searched the crowd for Chloe. She had only been to visit him once since his rescue, which he found unusual. Audrey had said that she was taking a much needed vacation, and that CTU was restricting his visitors. Something about that explanation didn’t fit. Chloe would have had no problems dropping into CTU while she was off and bullying her way into seeing him. His instincts told him there was something else going on.

He finally found her talking to Bill and Karen. Morris was standing next to her with his hand placed lightly on her lower back. Jack’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t like the idea of him getting his hooks back into Chloe when her defenses were down. She’d lost a lot of friends that day too, and it would just be like Morris to swoop in and try and take advantage of that fact.

Jack took his eyes off of Morris to examine Chloe more closely. She was wearing a black sleeveless dress. Her hair was pulled back, and she looked as if she had lost a little weight in the past two weeks. He found himself smiling when she rolled her eyes at something Bill had said.

“Come on, it’s going to be starting soon, and we need to find a seat,” Audrey whispered into his ear. She steered him into some chairs that were in the back of the room. “Just in case you feel sick and have to leave,” she told him.

Jack fought down his annoyance. He knew that she was just overcompensating because of everything she’d been through for the past two weeks – hell the past eighteen months. Still, he hated being treated as if he were helpless.

Jack turned his attention to Bill as he went to a podium at the head of the room and began to speak.

“Two weeks ago, this country was attacked by terrorists bent on killing as many people as they could. CTU Los Angeles did what we always do in times of crisis: our job. Unfortunately, in the course of doing everything to protect our country, many members of our CTU family lost their lives. We come here to honor their memory.”

Bill then began to read the names of everyone who died that day. Jack didn’t try to stop the tears that fell at Tony and Michelle’s names. Even though they hadn’t technically worked for CTU anymore, they were still considered part of the family.

“I would like to take this opportunity to invite anyone who wants to say a few words to come up and speak,” Bill said.

A few people came up and told some amusing anecdotes about their coworkers. Some people stood up to express anger about how something like this could have happened. Jack looked down as he battled with the irrational guilt that filled him at not being able to do more to prevent so many casualties.

He heard Audrey’s small gasp of surprise and looked up to see Chloe slowly approach the podium. She was obviously nervous, but she took a deep breath and began to speak.

“Edgar Stiles wasn’t the best looking or smartest guy who worked here, but he definitely was the kindest. He was one of the few people who I couldn’t scare away. No matter how hard I tried.” A small chuckle filled the crowd and Jack couldn’t help but smile. “Once, I had been having a really horrible day and I must have bit his head off a thousand times telling him to leave me alone. But he didn’t. Instead, he came up and handed me a Snickers bar, saying that I looked like I needed it.” Her voice got lower, and Jack could see the tears staining her cheeks. “He was always doing stuff like that. He was a good friend, and I’m going to miss him,” she said quickly, obviously wanting to finish before she lost her composure completely. She made her way back to her chair. Jack unconsciously clenched his fist as he saw Morris wrap his arm around her shoulder.

“She’s really going to miss him,” Audrey said. He turned to her and gave a sad smile.

“They were good friends,” he replied, forcing himself to relax.

“It’s funny. That day you …” she paused as the emotions overwhelmed her for a moment. “That day where you were chasing Marwan, there were times when I almost wanted to put them in the corner because they were bickering so much.”

“Relationships change,” he said. Jack’s attention was then drawn back up to the podium where Bill was standing once again.

“I wanted to take a few moments to talk about Michelle Dessler and Tony Almeida. They were two of the finest agents that CTU ever had. They both had a strong dedication to the job, this country, and to each other. They went through some difficult times, which I’m sure that you’re all aware of, but they made it. They made it because of the love and trust that existed between the two of them, and they made it because of their desire to be with one another more than anything.”

Audrey took Jack’s hand into hers and gave it a squeeze. He tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it. He looked at Audrey and, not for the first time since being rescued, wondered if they really had what it took to make it. They had just been in the beginning stages of falling in love when he’d had to fake his death. So much had happened since then.

Jack focused his thoughts back to Bill. “It’s horrible that they had to die,” he was saying, “but I believe that they would have preferred to go together, and I hope that they’ve found some measure of peace wherever they’re at now.”

The service was soon over, and they were dismissed to another large room where food had been prepared. Jack ignored the food and once again searched for Chloe. He quickly found her talking to Karen Hayes. He excused himself and left before Audrey could object.

Karen saw him approaching and her smile caused Chloe to turn around and see him. She smiled instantly, but he could tell that she was nervous. She turned and said something quietly to Karen, and then walked back over to him.

“You’re looking much better than the last time I saw you,” she said.

“I’m feeling much better. Look, I never got a chance to thank you.”

“Thank me?”

“For finding the ship that I was on. Everyone said that you were the driving force in the search.”

Chloe clearly looked uncomfortable with his gratitude. “It was nothing, Jack. I just wish I could have found you sooner,” she said as she inspected the still healing bruises on his face.

“So you’re on vacation?” he asked. Chloe seemed to become uneasy.

“Yeah.”

“Did you go anywhere?” he asked as he carefully examined her expression for any clues as to what was going on with her.

“No. I just spent most of the time catching up on my sleep,” she answered. Jack was about to continue with his questioning when Audrey sidled up beside him.

“There you are,” she said as she wrapped her arm around him. “I see you found Chloe. How’s your vacation going?” she asked. Jack looked at Audrey. There was something odd in her voice. Chloe, if possible, looked even more ill at ease.

“Fine,” she answered with a forced smile. “I was just telling Jack that I’ve been catching up on my sleep.”

“Chloe,” Bill interrupted them. “I… uh… I need to talk to you.” Chloe nodded her head in understanding.

“It was good seeing you Jack,” Chloe said as she walked off with Bill.

Jack’s eyes followed her. Something was definitely off. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she was trying to conceal something from him, but he couldn’t guess as to what it could be. He looked over to Audrey who was smiling at him.

“What’s going on?” he asked quietly.

Audrey looked away for the briefest of moments before meeting his gaze. “Going on with what?” she asked.

“With Chloe,” he answered. “There’s something going on with her.”

“I don’t know, Jack,” she answered. “It’s Chloe. She’s always been a little odd.”

Jack didn’t answer. He studied her expression before scanning the room again. He found Chloe in time to see her leaving, her coat over her arm, with Morris. “She’s leaving already,” he said in surprise.

“Maybe she wants to get back to her vacation,” Audrey suggested.

Jack didn’t believe that for a moment. He searched the room for someone that he knew would give him straight answers.

His eyes finally set on Curtis talking with some other field agents in a corner. He waited until Audrey excused herself to use the restroom and went over to him.

Curtis smiled when he saw Jack approach. “Jack,” he said warmly, “you’re looking good.”

“Yeah, thanks for getting me off of that boat,” he said.

Curtis smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“Can I talk to you, alone, for a minute?” he asked.

“Sure,” Curtis said as he excused himself.

Jack pulled him away from the crowd. “What’s going on with Chloe?” he asked.

Curtis’ eyes widened for a moment and then he looked away. Jack remained silent. Curtis finally met his gaze again with a sigh. “She’s been suspended.”

“What?” Jack asked, horrified.

“She’s not even supposed to be here today, but Buchanan pulled a few strings for her and got special permission for her to come to the service. Chloe broke a lot of rules and a lot of laws the day Logan was brought down.” Curtis sighed again. “I think if it were just up to Buchanan and Hayes, they would let it go, but Miles Papazian has really gone after her.”

“Miles?” Jack almost hissed. “That son of a bitch is the one who should go to jail. He erased the first recording of Logan confessing to everything.”

“I know,” Curtis agreed, “but the man still has a lot of friends in high places. He’s pissed because he’s not where he feels he should be. He can’t take it out on you, or Buchanan, or Hayes, but he can take it out on –.”

“Chloe,” Jack finished for him.

“Especially with her record.”

“Her record?”

“Jack,” Curtis said with a small chuckle, “she has a long history of breaking the rules, especially when you’re involved. She was forced to resign that day you faked your death for going against protocol. Michelle only brought her back in to help you with that undercover op. She then broke several laws in helping you fake your death. And that’s not even counting everything she did the day you came back. Before noon she wracked up something like twenty-six protocol violations. Miles is even pushing for criminal charges to be filed against her.”

Jack was flooded with guilt and looked away. Of course he knew what Chloe had done for him, but he never really thought about at what cost. She never complained and never made a big deal about what she’d done. It was easy to take everything that she did for granted.

“Thanks for telling me,” he told Curtis and turned to look for Audrey. He saw her walking towards him.

“Hey, did you want to grab some food before heading back to the infirmary?” Audrey asked as she came up next to him.

He turned to her angrily. “Why didn’t you tell me about Chloe?” he asked in a low voice.

Audrey looked down guiltily before meeting his gaze. “Because you needed to concentrate on getting better, not focusing on Chloe and her problems.”

“I’m not a child, Audrey, and Chloe is my friend. She needs all the support she can get right now.”

“Jack, what could you do? You’re not even technically alive yet. Bill and Karen are doing everything they can to help her professionally, and her ex-husband has been there to help her personally. She’s doing all right.”

“Morris?” Jack growled. “That bastard couldn’t take care of a cactus.”

“He seems to have helped her out a great deal since you were kidnapped.’

Jack grunted in frustration.

“Jack, Chloe and I didn’t want you to get stressed out about this. We wanted you to concentrate on getting your life back.”

“This shouldn’t have been kept from me,” Jack insisted.

Audrey nodded. “Look, let’s talk about this later. We’ll get you some food, and then you have to head back to the infirmary. You know the doctors don’t want you overdoing things too quickly.

“I’m fine. Trust me. I’m not that hungry. Just take me back to my room.”

Audrey smiled uncertainly. “Okay Jack.” Jack followed her back to his room. He knew that she would leave soon for a conference call with her father. Then he would have his chance to get some answers.

Chloe opened the door to her apartment and went to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. Morris followed behind her and stood awkwardly in the middle of her living room.

“Morris, you don’t have to stay.”

“You shouldn’t have to be alone.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Chloe, Love, you just said good-bye to one of your closest friends. It’s all right not to be okay,” he said as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his arms. She just stood there for a few minutes, silently crying before pulling away.

“Thanks,” she said, awkwardly.

“It’s nothing,” he said as he pulled her closer again as if to kiss her.

“No, Morris,” she said as she turned her head. He exhaled and leaned his forehead against hers.

“Is this about Jack?”

“What?” she gasped. “No!” She pulled away from him. “This is about me not wanting to get involved with you again. I already have enough drama in my life.”

“I saw the way you looked at Jack this afternoon.”

“He’s my friend. It was the first time I’d seen him since he first got back.”

“Chloe, you can fool him, and you can even fool yourself, but you can’t fool me. You’re in love with Jack Bauer.”

Chloe paled a little at his words, but her gaze never wavered. “It doesn’t matter whether I am or not.”

“Really? You’re about ready to lose your job because of him and it doesn’t matter.”

“I didn’t help Jack because of any feelings I may have for him. I did it because it was the right thing to do.”

“Oh please. All he has to do is crook his little finger and you come crawling—.” He stopped when Chloe raised her hand and slapped him.

“I am not some puppet without a mind of my own. I help Jack because he’s usually right. I don’t expect anything in return. It doesn’t matter if I have feelings for him because I also know that he’ll never feel the same way. I know how far away I am from being his type. You’ve seen his girlfriend. Hell, you should have seen the girlfriend he had when he was on the run.” Chloe impatiently wiped away the tears that were starting to fall from her eyes. “I help him because he needs me in order to do his job and save lives. I don’t need anymore from him. I don’t want to kiss you because I know that we’ll never work out and I don’t want to go through that again.” Morris managed to look a little ashamed of himself.

“Thank you,” she continued, “for being a friend. You’ve helped me so much over the past couple of weeks, and I’ll always be grateful to you for that.”

Morris smiled and reached to give Chloe a hug. She accepted his embrace this time. “Anytime Love,” he told her. “I didn’t mean anything before.”

“I know. Go home,” she told him. “I’m going to take a shower and then go to sleep.”

“All right. Call me if you need anything,” he said as he headed for the door. “Chloe,” he called just before he left. “Jack’s an idiot.”

Chloe smiled. “No, he’s not. But thanks.” She watched as Morris closed the door behind him.

Jack looked in the rear view mirror to make sure he wasn’t being followed. He had snuck out soon after Audrey had left him in the infirmary. He had left her a note so that she wouldn’t worry and then appropriated a car from CTU and headed for Chloe’s

He circled the block a couple of times before finding a parking spot about half a block from Chloe’s apartment. He didn’t see anybody as he peered through her window. He didn’t want to break into her apartment if she wasn’t home, but then he didn’t just want to wait in the street for her either. Jack rung the doorbell and quietly counted the seconds before he heard someone’s soft steps approach the door.

“Jack?” he heard Chloe say as she unlocked her door. “Is everything okay?” she asked worriedly as she quickly scanned the street behind him for problems.

“I need to speak with you,” he said simply. Her eyes widened in surprised and she stood back and gestured for him to enter her apartment.

“Should you even be out of bed?” she asked.

“Probably not,” he answered as his gaze swept over her appearance. She had changed into a light blue tank top with matching pajama pants after taking a shower. Her still damp hair was pulled back into a pony tail. Chloe saw his quick inspection and suddenly felt very exposed.

“What are you doing here?” she asked abruptly. She met Jack’s gaze and looked away quickly, but not before seeing the concern mixed with anger there.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your suspension?” he asked.

Chloe felt her cheeks redden as she lowered her head even more. She hadn’t felt right about keeping her situation from Jack, but Audrey had been so insistent that knowing would only fill Jack with unnecessary guilt. Besides, she was sure that her problems would sort themselves out. Jack needed to focus on his own recovery.

“You’ve been sick,” she answered.

“Not that sick.”

“Jack, you’ve been through hell. You didn’t need to worry about my stupid problems.

“Chloe, you may go to prison. That’s hardly a stupid problem.”

“Buchanan and Hayes are pretty sure that they can stop any charges from being filed against me.”

“That makes me feel so much better,” he said sarcastically.

“Jack …” Chloe whispered in frustration. She didn’t know what to tell him. “You might as well sit down while you yell at me,” she said as she gestured to her couch.

Jack stared at her for a moment. She had her arms crossed in front of her with a mulish expression on her face. He chuckled as he sat down on the couch.

“I don’t want to yell at you,” he told her and gestured for her to join him there. She nervously bit her lip for a second before sitting down next to him. “I just want to make sure you’re all right.”

“I’m fine,” she assured him. “Like I said, Buchanan and Hayes are pretty sure that I’m not going to be charged with anything.”

“And your job?” he asked.

“I can always find a new one. It’ll be nice not to almost die every year,” she said with a quick smirk. “And I’m sure you’ll find some new computer geek to help you break the law when you have to save the world.”

“Chloe …” Jack said in a low voice and he reached out to touch her shoulder. “I don’t even know if I’m going back to CTU. This has nothing to do with me. I’m worried about you. If I had known how much trouble—.”

“God, not you too,” Chloe interrupted angrily. “I made the decision to help you! I did! You did not force me into anything. I knew the possible consequences of my actions, and I chose to do it anyway. I am not your lapdog.”

“Of course not,” Jack said, amazed that she would even say that.

“We did a good thing, Jack. I don’t regret it. I mean, I’ll hate it if I lose my job and can’t help you anymore, but we stopped a corrupt president in his tracks. That’s more important than my job.”

“I know,” he closed his eyes for a moment and took Chloe’s hand in his. She was shocked by the touch but didn’t pull away. “I don’t think of you as my lapdog,” he said suddenly.

“I know,” she said, her face turning red, regretting that she had let that out.

“I don’t,” he said, needing her to understand.

“I know,” she said again, pulling her hand from his and standing up to give herself some space. “I’m the best computer geek you know. You respect my skills.”

“No,” he protested, “I mean, of course I value your skills, but that’s not the only thing I value about you.”

She looked down, not at all comfortable with the direction that the conversation had turned. “I know,” she said impatiently again. “Do you want something to drink?” she asked as she headed for the kitchen.

“No,” he answered as he followed her, not ready to let the subject go. “Chloe, for eighteen months you kept me safe. You told me what was going on. You risked everything to help me stay hidden, and then when I came back you kept on risking everything to help me.”

“Of course I did, Jack,” Chloe said angrily as she turned around. “I couldn’t let them kill you. Helping you fake your death was the right thing to do. Helping you catch Logan was the right thing to do. And don’t forget that you came to help me the moment I called you to tell you that I was in trouble. Even if I did go to prison, I wouldn’t change a thing,” she said, her gaze never wavering.

They stayed like that for a few moments, just staring at one another. Chloe saw some unknown emotion flare in Jack’s eyes.

A knock on the door broke the mood. Chloe moistened her suddenly dry lips as she closed the refrigerator and headed for the door. “I never get this much company,” she muttered to herself and Jack smiled.

“It’s probably Audrey,” he told her.

“Audrey?” she asked as she turned around to stare at him.

“I left a note when I snuck out of the infirmary. I didn’t want everyone to think that I’d been kidnapped again.”

“Oh God, this is just the perfect end to my day,” she said as she continued to the front door. “Your girlfriend berating me for not keeping you out of my business.” Before Jack could respond, Chloe opened up the door to a fuming Audrey.

“Where is he?” she asked, obviously angry.

Chloe opened the door all of the way and gestured to Jack.

Audrey stormed in. “Jack, I don’t believe you. I told you that she was fine. You didn’t have to steal a car to check up on her.” Chloe stayed by the door watching the interaction between the couple.

“I’m fine. I was worried about Chloe, and since the two of you decided to keep me in the dark, I had to come for myself and make sure that everything was fine.”

“Well now you’ve seen. She’s fine. You need to get back to the infirmary before you have a relapse,” Audrey said as she grabbed onto Jack’s arm and gestured towards the door. He jerked away from her.

“Damn it, Audrey! I’ll go back to the infirmary when I’m ready to go back to the infirmary.”

She turned to Chloe. “Will you tell him that you’re all right so he can get off his white horse and get back to the infirmary?”

“I have told him. Many times,” Chloe told the aggravated woman. The computer programmer watched the two of them and rolled her eyes a bit. “Ok, you know what? The two of you obviously need to talk. So even though this is my home, and normally I would kick you out, I’m going to give the two of you some privacy to discuss this,” she said and headed back to her bedroom.

She closed the door and leaned on it with a sigh. She could hear Jack and Audrey arguing through the closed door. Chloe couldn’t help but laugh. If someone had told her this morning that her day would end with Jack Bauer and Audrey Raines arguing in her living room while she hid out in the bedroom, she probably would have told them that they were crazy.

She just hoped that they wouldn’t start making out in her living room. It had already been a bad day, and she didn’t need to go to bed with that image in her mind. Her laptop was on the bed. She turned it on and signed onto the internet. Morris was also on and immediately IM’d her to ask her if she was all right.

‘I’m fine,’ she typed back. ‘I’m just hiding out in my bedroom.’

‘Why?’ he asked.

‘Jack and Audrey are fighting in my living room,’ she typed and then sat back to wait for an answer.

‘What!’ he typed back immediately.

‘Yep. I keep on expecting someone to pop out and say I’m on some sort of candid camera show.’

‘Why are they even there?’

‘Jack found out about all the trouble I’m in and he escaped from the infirmary to make sure that I was all right. Audrey followed him here to drag him back.’

‘So they’re fighting now?’

Chloe paused and could still hear Audrey and Jack discussing things in tense tones.

‘They aren’t really fighting. No yelling and throwing. They’re just having a very serious discussion.’

‘Why did he come and see you in the first place? He could have just called you.’

‘You would have to ask Jack.’

‘Hmmmm…’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Maybe Jack’s not an idiot after all.’

Chloe could feel her cheeks turn red at Morris’ suggestion.

‘You’re the idiot. He and Audrey have gone through hell to be together. They love each other. I have no illusions about my place in his life. Jack feels responsible for everything. I’m in this trouble and he blames himself and he wanted to make sure that I was all right. End of story. End of discussion. Got it?’

‘Jawohl. I still say he could have called you.’

‘And I’ll leave you alone with your delusions. TTYL.’ Chloe wrote and then immediately signed off. She did not need Morris putting thoughts like that into her head. She was definitely not Jack’s type. Jack was her friend and that was enough for her.

She got up from the bed and headed towards the door. She could still hear them talking, but she decided that she’d given them enough time to hash things out. They could do the rest of their talking back at CTU.

She opened the door, but before she could suggest that they leave she heard Audrey say, “Jack, you aren’t doing her any favors by being here. Don’t you see that she’s in love with you?” Audrey kept on talking, but Chloe couldn’t hear it over the roaring in her ears. She realized that they had stopped talking as they noticed her presence. She closed her eyes and wished the earth would swallow her whole. She couldn’t even pretend not to have overheard Audrey’s statement.

She forced herself to open her eyes. She could see both Jack and Audrey staring at her in something akin to horror.

“Chloe –,” Jack began, but she cut him off.

“Thanks for dropping by to check up on me, but I’m fine. It’s been a long day, and I’d like for both of you to leave now,” she said with as much dignity as she could muster. She couldn’t look either one of them in the face. She didn’t want to see any pity there.

Audrey gently took a hold of Jack’s arm and led him to the door. Chloe shot them both a quick glance as they were walking out the door, and she saw Jack turn as if to say something to her.

“Jack,” she interrupted again before he could start. “Just go. I can’t deal with anymore today,” she said as she willed the tears threatening to fall to stop before they could embarrass her even more. He nodded and quietly closed the door behind him. Chloe stood at her bedroom doorway for a moment and then rushed to the door to lock it and fasten the chain.

She couldn’t honestly say that it had been the worst day of her life. But she could say that it had been the worst non-global disaster day she’d ever had.

Jack was quiet as he followed Audrey back to her car which was parked down the street. He only spoke when Audrey opened up the passenger side of her car. “I brought a CTU vehicle with me,” he reminded her.

“I know. We can arrange to have someone pick it up later,” she said in a subdued voice. He got in the car and stared out the window, lost in his own thoughts, as Audrey got into the car and headed back to CTU.

Jack was in shock over what had happened those last few moments in Chloe’s apartment. One moment Audrey had been saying that he was only hurting Chloe because she was in love with him, and the next moment all he could see was Chloe’s too white face as she politely asked them to leave. It was then that he realized that Audrey was right. Chloe was in love with him.

It wasn’t that he had been unaware that she was attracted to him. He knew, without any vanity, most of the women he’d worked with had been attracted to him in various degrees. It didn’t usually mean anything.

But Chloe’s subdued yet shattered expression had driven home the fact that what she felt for him went beyond attraction and even friendship. All he had wanted to do at that moment was reach out and comfort her, but she wouldn’t have it.

“Jack,” Audrey said as she interrupted his thoughts, “Chloe will be all right. She knows that you could never return her feelings. I … just didn’t want to make it any harder for her.”

“Yeah,” he whispered, not really saying anything. But he had to admit that he was bothered by what she said. Did Chloe think that he wasn’t capable of returning her feelings? That he could never imagine himself being in a relationship with her? She wasn’t conventionally beautiful, but her eyes could convey a wealth of emotions in a single glance. She was also the most honest person he’d ever met, and he admired her fierce loyalty. He trusted her more than he trusted anyone. He couldn’t be in a relationship with her right now because he was in a relationship with Audrey, but if …

He glanced over at Audrey and he was overcome with a sinking feeling. He got that feeling every time he thought of his future with Audrey. She had talked about him resuming his job in Washington, but he didn’t the patience to deal with bureaucrats and pencil pushers anymore. And there was still an awful lot about his life that Audrey didn’t know about.

The stray thought hit him that Chloe knew his darkest secrets, and yet she still … loved him. He then frowned as he realized that Audrey had seen glimpses of those parts of himself that he kept hidden, but she had trouble coping with them. He had spent too much of the past year and a half pretending to be someone that he wasn’t. He didn’t want to have to hide who he was anymore.

She drove into the CTU lot, parked the car, and turned to face him. He stared at her for a moment and sadly remembered everything she had meant to him over the past year and a half. He finally accepted that it wouldn’t be enough.

“Audrey,” he whispered, knowing what he had to do.

“Yes.”

“I think that you should go back to D.C.”

She sighed. “Dad’s been hinting about me coming home. He’s been back to work for a few days and he says that things are a mess. Now that you’re feeling better, perhaps we can get you transferred to a secure facility near Washington while we straighten your situation out.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he said regretfully. “I think that you should go back to Washington, and that I … I should stay here.”

“What? Jack, you don’t mean that,” Audrey said, obviously shocked. “We’ve just found each other again. We can’t let that go.”

“Audrey,” he began and closed his eyes to fight the tears. “We haven’t been together in over a year. I can’t go back to Washington. I can’t sit behind a desk anymore. I could barely stand it back then, but it was something that I felt like I had to do. But now … I don’t know what I’m going to do, but it’s not going to be in Washington dealing with people who are so removed from the fight that they don’t understand what’s going on.”

“Well then, I can stay here with you and help you figure things out,” she protested.

“It’s not just that,” he replied. “Audrey, I’m … I have this darkness inside of me. You saw glimpses of it the day that Paul died. It’s something that you said that you can’t handle.”

“Jack, I wasn’t thinking clearly when I said that.”

“Yes you were. But then you thought I was dead and felt bad for how we ended things. And then you found out I was alive and you forgot about all of your doubts.”

“Jack …”

“I thought I could change. I really did, but I can’t. I wanted to be the person who you needed. But I can’t be anything other than myself. And I think we need to move on before we hurt each other anymore.”

He reached out a hand to caress a tear stained cheek. “I will always care about you, but we just wouldn’t work.”

“Jack …”

“Audrey, deep down you have to know that I’m right.”

Audrey was still for several moments, but then she nodded sadly as she took his hand in hers. “I guess I still was hoping that we could somehow make it work. I’ll book a flight back to Washington when I get back to the hotel.”

He nodded, unable to say anymore.

“I’ll always love you, Jack,” she said, her voice thick with tears.

He got out of the car and headed back to the infirmary.

Chloe spent the night tossing and turning as her mind replayed that awful moment when Audrey told Jack how she felt about him. Chloe had been very proud of the fact that he hadn’t known. Sure he knew that she found him attractive, but every straight woman at CTU felt that way. But she had worked very hard to make sure that he never knew how strongly she felt for him.

She didn’t want him to feel sorry for her. Chloe would rather have undergone torture than have Jack look at her with pity. She’d gotten enough pitying looks all throughout her life. It was one of the reasons that she was abrupt with people. She’d rather have them angry at her than feel sorry for her.

For the first time since all of this happened, she honestly hoped that she did lose her job at CTU. Chloe didn’t think that she could handle seeing him everyday knowing that he knew how she felt about him.

Before this, Chloe had reached a comfortable place with her feelings for Jack. She knew they would never be returned, but she was okay with that. She had his trust and friendship.

But now all of that was gone. Not that he wouldn’t trust her, but he would feel awkward around her. And she would feel awkward around him. They would lose the synergy that had made their relationship so special.

She finally gave up trying to sleep just past dawn and got up to make some coffee. She glanced at herself in a hallway mirror. Her hair was sticking up at odd angles, and there were dark circles underneath her eyes. She idly wished that the annoying neighbor kid would come over today to try and sell something. She might scare him away for good.

She was about to put some Pop Tarts in the toaster when she heard a noise behind her. Reacting without thinking she picked up the toaster and hurled it at whoever was standing behind her.

Jack, surprised at her quick response, tried to avoid the small appliance, but still managed to get hit on the shoulder.

“Jack!” Chloe exclaimed. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” she asked racing towards him.

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “I’m fine. You have some fast reflexes.”

“I’ve been on edge lately,” she said with a nervous laugh, but then looked away, suddenly feeling awkward.

They stood like that for several moments before Jack finally broke the silence.

“Chloe, I uh… I wanted to talk to you.”

“Jack… it’s really not necessary. You didn’t need to come back …” she paused for a moment as she realized something. “Did you break into my apartment?”

“I didn’t think you’d let me in.”

She turned to grab a mug to pour a cup of coffee to help her process the idea that Jack had broken into her apartment. She caught her reflection on the microwave and remembered how she looked and groaned. She wanted to get this over with quickly.

Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him. “Look Jack, you know about my feelings for you. It doesn’t matter. I know that you’re with Audrey and that even if you weren’t I’m not really your type. Can we just not have the ‘I like you, just not that way’ speech? I’ve heard it before. It’s fine. Really. Go back to CTU. I’m sure that they’re probably looking for you, and the last thing I need is for your girlfriend to come banging on my door again.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

Chloe stopped and stared at him. “What?” she said, not sure if she heard him correctly.

“We … broke up,” he said softly.

“Oh … I’m sorry, Jack.” Chloe was genuinely sad. She knew that he and Audrey had been through a lot to be together. “Maybe you can still make it --”

“No. I just… I can’t. I think we’ve been more in love with the idea of ‘us’ than we actually were with each other.”

“I’m sorry,” she said as she looked down with her brow furrowed and drank her coffee.

After a few more moments of silence, Jack spoke again. “Chloe, earlier you said that you weren’t my type. What … what makes you say that?”

Chloe would have thought that he was making fun of her except for the earnest expression on his face. Still, it was not an easy question for her to answer.

“Jack, I know what I am. I’m socially inept with, what Buchanan calls, my personality problems. I’m pretty average looking. I am one of the best computer programmers that there is, but that’s not …” she trailed off, not really wanting to give a list of her shortcomings.

“Chloe you’re smart and incredibly loyal. And you’re funny – even in the tensest situations. You’re caring and … I guess I don’t understand why you would automatically assume that none of those things are capable of grabbing my interest.” He paused for a second before continuing, seemingly oblivious to Chloe’s stunned silence. “The more time I spent with Audrey, I just realized that while we cared for each other, it wasn’t enough for the long haul. She can’t deal with parts of my life. I feel like I need to hide part of who I am when I’m with her.” He gave Chloe a piercing gaze. “Life’s too short to be with someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are.”

Chloe was completely bereft of speech. She kept on expecting to wake up. It had to be a dream because Jack Bauer would never say these things to her. Especially when she looked like death on toast.

“Chloe, my life is a mess right now. I have no idea what’s going to happen to me or what I’m going to do with myself. And I know that I just broke up with Audrey, but I felt like I needed to do this. Once I get things straightened out, I would really like to take you out to dinner.”

Chloe gave a little gasp and stepped back a bit. She just stared at him as if he’d gone crazy. “Dinner?” she finally asked. “Why? To celebrate you getting your life together?” she asked, looking for any reason that he would want to have dinner with her other than the one she was afraid to believe.

“No. I just want to spend some non-crisis time with you. I want to get to know you better.”

“Oh,” she said.

She studied her coffee very intently for several minutes while he waited for her to say something.

“A … a date?” she asked, needing to make sure she understood him correctly.

“Yes.”

“Oh,” she said again.

“Chloe?”

“Huh?”

“Is that a yes to dinner?”

“Uh, yes. I mean, if you still want to when you’re back on your feet. I’ll understand if you change your mind. Really,” she assured him

“I’m not going to change my mind,” he told her and he leaned closer to her. Before Chloe could comprehend what was happening, his lips were covering hers. She gasped in surprise and she could feel Jack smile against her lips. He placed both hands on the side of her face and deepened the kiss. Chloe closed her eyes and concentrated. She did not want to forget one second of this moment. She tentatively ran her fingers through his hair and was rewarded with a groan of approval as he pulled her even closer to him. They continued like that until Chloe got a little lightheaded from lack of oxygen and pulled back to catch her breath.

Jack stared into her eyes.

“I’m not going to change my mind,” he said in a husky voice that ran chills down her spine. “But I want to do this right. I don’t want to rush into anything when the rest of my life is such a mess. You understand?” he asked.

She nodded with a small smile. “Yes.”

“You do, don’t you?” he said, his voice filled with wonder.

She pulled back and wiped away the tears that had escaped her eyes.

“I better get back to CTU,” he said and then he laughed. “I suddenly feel the need to get my life in order as quickly as possible. Besides, they won’t like me stealing two vehicles in less than twelve hours.”

Chloe laughed. “Buchanan will have a cow.”

“Maybe, but he needs to plug up some of those security holes.” He smiled at her and took her hand. “Chloe, I may be officially dead, but I still have a few friends in high places. I’ll make some calls to see if we can get your name cleared and your job back, if you want it.”

She smiled. “If you’re there, then I’ll be there.” He smiled and leaned in for another soft kiss and then headed for the door.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said before he left.

Chloe stared at the door in disbelief after he left. She was no stranger to having her life change dramatically in short periods of time, but this was completely unexpected. Jack Bauer had kissed her. He wanted to go out to dinner with her once he got everything straightened out. If it had been anyone else to tell her that, she would have rolled her eyes and kicked the guy to the curb for trying to string her along, but this was Jack. She trusted Jack above everyone else. Jack had never lied to her.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and although her hair still looked like a haystack, and there were still dark circles underneath her eyes, she saw something else that hadn’t been there earlier. She was happy. Chloe didn’t know what the future held in store for her, but she decided to enjoy the fact that at this moment she was happy.

The End

Your user/pen name: natushka aka nat
Your email address: at gmail dot com
Preferred Season(s) To Write: 4 5
Preferred Rating(s) To Write: PG, to light R
What you'd prefer not to write: complete fluff, and smut
Preferred Season(s) To See Written: any
Preferred Rating(s) To See Written: any
Three Things You'd Like Written: Chloe and Jack in the field together, some sort of realization on Jack's part about how loyal Chloe is to him and what she sacrifices for him, umm and jealous Jack