|The Sketches of Writing
Author: Invaderk PM
Sometimes you might just want to give up and throw everything away, but even the rejects have a place in which to shine. Join me as I analyze and otherwise tear apart fan fiction as I know it.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,257 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 09-22-06 - Published: 09-05-06 - id: 3141965
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The Sketches of Writing
A learning experience presented by Invaderk
Sometimes, as most ammeter writers like myself know, writing is NOT easy, to say the very least. Sometimes I just want to write a totally easy way out dialogue, but that would be cheating my readers out of what they deserve, which is solid, effort-induced writing. I'm not dissing the dialogue-based stories at all, because I'm not talking about normal dialogue-based stories.
For instance, Blinded by the Light 2 was really forced and evil. If I had done it the way I wanted to most of the time, it would have come out something like this:
Ron: I'm blind!
Hermione: I'm over-worried and going to let Ron risk his life. Yay!
Ron: Need to see. Get potion now. I don't care who makes it.
Ron: OMG NUU!
Malfoy: Too bad. Drink this. You'll just pass out but don't worry, you'll be able to see me again. Then I get to make my dramatic exit and you get to see Hermione in a towel.
Needless to say, it doesn't work quite like that. A lot of the time I'd just love to write a big "OMG" over a section like an artist may do for a sketch, but writing doesn't quite work like that. It's all or nothing… or, in some cases, a crappy work or improvising.
If I wrote things the way I thought them most of the time, it might come out a little like this (in no particular order, of course):
Harry: Help me, my tortured teenage soul is drowning me in a puddle of sorrowful sorrow.
Ron: I am a sap – a proud sap.
Hermione: Shut up, Ron – don't you feel the love?
Lavender: I'm a jerk.
Lily: Snape's an arse.
James: I died, lol.
Malfoy: I'm a rich snob and I like to pick on people less fortunate than me.
Lucius: My snakey cane can beat up your snakey cane, yo.
Narcissa: What the hell are you looking at?
Voldemort: Tee hee, I'm an evil psychopath.
Sirius: This veil really is nice and velvety.
Lupin: My life is naught but sorrow and pain.
Augustus: I am hawt, all those who look upon me shall love and despair (or something like that)!
Tonks: Kiss me, Remmy!
Seamus: I do not have any significance whatsoever.
Dumbledore: insert wise comment here followed by a Matrix jump from a rooftop
Moody: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
Peter: There's more to me than meets the eye… or maybe not.
Arthur: I am a god.
Okay, okay, maybe not quite like that. The point is, as irrelevant as this may seem, sometimes I just can't make myself work hard on a story and it gets disposed of, for lack of better words. This section is called "The Sketches of Writing" because, like cartoonists and artists, us writers have sketches, too. Maybe not the kind of sketches you're thinking of, but sketches nonetheless. And I figure that this can be a learning experience for everybody as well, so I'll include some analysis for your entertainment.
In this section, you can read the 'rough drafts' of stories that I just don't think made it up to where it should have been, and maybe you can learn a thing or two about writing and the expectations I hold for myself. Also, you can laugh as I tear my failed works into criticized little shreds.
Maybe sometimes you'll see familiar segments of published stories and maybe you'll see something completely new. You never know until you read on.