|i kill you snap
Author: Unspoken Tragedy PM
i suck at summeries! read my story plzkthanx! 10 reviews or ii wont update or write eva again & you will be sorry for ruining my life!Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Severus S. & Harry P. - Words: 921 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 09-06-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3142318
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
read this sotry becuz it rocks! plzkthanx
Harry stumbed away from teh body of Voldemort sadly. He was gunna miss the old gut. Really, when the wizard wasnt hell-bent on his destitution, he wasn't all that bad.
iit was Tom Riddle's fault that he been abused as a child at the hands of: his father, several centaurs, a professor and a dog. Well, maybe the dog was his fault. Harry occaisionally wept for the "ebil" wizard becuz his life storry was just that tragic
"POTTER!" a slinky voice shouted. He spuned around. "SNAP!" he cried furusly.
"I can steel read you're mind," Sev er us Snape said.
Hairy glamed at him. "You keeled Bumblebore."
"No I din't," Sev denyed. "That was my eevil twin sis, Bobbie Sue John Juan Snape."
"You don't have any frienz," harry snot. Snap started to cry. Harry cried too. "y u keel dumbledork."
Snape sighed. "I telled you already, Harrrrrrry. It wasn't really Bobbie Sue John Juan Snail."
And then something amazing happened: a gill appeared. She was very prettie… with black blue green purple blue red orange hair and a glass fissure. Her skin was the most unbecoming shade of tan. Herry was in love.
"SEV U KNO THAT IT WAS NOT ME WHO KILLED DUMBLLLYDORE." Said Bobbie Sue John Juan Snip angered.Harry stepped in her sight. "It is all right, madam," he was happy to tell her. "ii knew it wasn't you."
She smiled prettily. She was just that pretty. sHe flippered her interesting colored hair over her head. "I am really very sorry that it was my odious twin brother that viciously took the precious life of the wonderful Bus Dumbler. He's bourne twelve years before me."
HarryPotter grinned wolfishly. "We'll just kill him back then… if it's okay with you, dear?"
Bobbie Sue John Juan Snork answered, "first though, love, eye have to told you it." She sobbed. I love you.
"I love you two," Hurry answered. She launched herself to him. They snogged for twenty days while Snapple watched. THEN they turned away from each other.
"I will never let you kill me," Sneered Snape Snappishly.
Bobbie Sue John Juan Slap said next, "You have no choice, sister mine."
"Tru dat" Ron put in. He'd been counting the seconds until he could see the death of that ebil bastardly Snapped.
"Why did you kill snape!" Hurray asked Dumbdoor
He ruined my life he never loved meeee he just was so mean to me and he liked the murders more. But I smarted up and killed the man, Snit said.
"lol!" said harry with a giggle. "I knew he like Pops more!"
"STFU." Snape punched Bobbie Sue John Juan Steal. She feel to the ground with a light 'plop!'. Blood trickled from her head.
How daare you hurtted Bobbie Sue John Juan Sexy!" harrry sung. Ron gigged. The reader gagged. Someone in Guatamala killed Dumblood. And Yesterday was a Sunday.
"Not to speak of the fact that dumblebumble was just so grammatically incorrect," Snape raged on. A scream sound in the background. "And he never gave me the three house points I deserved when I showed him how to make cupcakes."
"I never hated you Sever us said hermione. "I hoped u would have my babys!"
"I know, 'Mione," Snape replied with a sad smile. "I love you."
Hermione fell into his arms sobbing. "i dunt want to seee u die Sev!"
He held her tenderly. Today he was going to die, he knew. Because he was the tragic sad traiter who killed Dumbbed. He was just to evil to live to see the beginning of the war. She kissed his nose, becuz she missed his face.
"Hermione told Ron Just because" I beat you doesn't mean you can kiss snap;
"Avada Kedavra!" cried Bobbie Sue John Juan Sniff. Snape dies in his loved arms. Hermione sobbed. Ron joined her.
Harry just sat. About time he din't have to bee the hero.
But this story is just so tragic, he thinks as he marries Bobbie Sue John Juan Soap. he hoped someone would write it.
U & meek no that it was write, tho. Plz review and tell me what you think! Maybe then I will add another chapter won't that be great!
TEN REVIEW OR NO MORE CHAPTERS. Plzkthanx
A/N: I must say that this is the worst thing I've ever written.
Just over a month ago I began reading fic in the HP fandom again, after being away from it for almost a year. I was astounded at what I saw. Of all the stories here, I can definitely say that there are less than ten WIPs (that are still updating) that I can read without wanting to shoot the author. That, of course, does not include my own works. I can't stand reading them either. The one shots are a bit better.
This is dedicated to all those who are tired of the Mary Sues, OOC characters, plot-less porn and bad grammar that has taken over this fandom.
It is also a plea to all the careless, unoriginal authors out there who inspired this: Please get a beta (maybe twelve). Please stop writing Mary Sues. Please Stop Forcing Your Crap On Me.
If you think you are one of the above, then you probably are. Sorry.
I congratulate those few brave souls that actually finished this story.