Night 1: Transparency and Princesses

"Where were you?" boomed the irritated voice of Cagalli Yula Athha.

"I never left this room." Wrong answer.

Athrun Zala had been awake for twelve hours since the Songtress had woken him. In between those twelve hours, the blonde ORB commander had been waiting for him to come to their usual spot in Yoizuki while he, losing track of time, had the sudden knack to tinker with his robots again. All of them were Haro models.

As he was tidying the room up of his metal clutter, she put down the bags (containing her laptop and numerous ORB files that were either salvaged from explosions or were hacked by ZAFT before the war broke out) that she was carrying and picked up a peculiar-looking Haro.

"Can I have this one?" she asked as she examined the object. What made it peculiar-looking was that this Haro was transparent.

"That's not quite finished yet," Athrun replied, taking the seat opposite Cagalli.

She pointed to a yellow Haro on the nearby desk. "What about that one, then?"

He shook his head.

"What about those on your bed? Or that one – the blue one near the window?"

"I'll make you a new model, Cagalli," he said.

She sighed. "And when will that be?" she asked, knowing that an answer would not come.

Her eyes fell back to the transparent Haro. It was so different because… well, it was transparent. Usually Haros were in different colors; that was how Lacus liked them. Lacus.

Lacus.

"Have you seen Kira and Lacus? They're onboard," Cagalli said as she took her laptop out her backpack and turned it on.

Athrun pretended to be busy with the toolkit in front of him. He replied, "Yes." A simple rule: -keep it short.-

"What did Kira say?" she asked, keeping her now bespectacled eyes on the screen.

"I haven't exactly seen him yet." His voice had a timber of guilt…

…and Cagalli sensed it. "No? Have you talked to Lacus then?"

"Yes."

Silence followed. Both pretended to be busy – Athrun with tinkering the colorless Haro; Cagalli, typing research and plans.

"Why won't you give me a Haro?" she asked. Maybe this time he'll give a good reason.

But all she got from him was silence.

Silence that was very awkward – but then, its awkwardness probably wore off since the two of them were used to it.

So used to it.

So used to it that it hurt.

She shouldn't have asked - for she knew the answer: everything was for the Princess, the girl who first held his heart. A girl that was not her. Not her. I can never have you, can I, Athrun?

We were in love. Are we falling out of it now?

She looked up from the screen. Her voice was playful. "Tell me the truth, Athrun. Do you still love me?"

Have we really ever been in love at all? Was all of it real? Or just a world of pretend, just like what's happening now?

He stopped whatever he was doing. "Of course I love you, Cagalli."

"You lie," said her stern voice. A broken voice.

He stood up, his hands on her shoulders as if preventing her from leaving. "But I do, Cagalli. I really do."

"I love you, too. But it's not the same. I don't even know if we're still…"

"Don't say things like that, Cagalli."

"But what will I do then? Let the silence deafen me? You never say anything to me, Athrun. And now that you're finally talking to me, you tell lies.

"I think we're over, Athrun. A long time ago, and we both know it."

She got up and got her things. As she was a step away from the door, she felt his grip on her wrist.

"Let go of me!"

"Cagalli, I…"

His grip went tighter.

Her eyes looked into his, almost shining. "Please…" And she was smiling.

He let go. She walked away.

And he said with a weak voice, "I'm sorry, Cagalli…"

Though weak, it was heard. She looked back, and he saw her smiling at him. A gentle smile. Then she continued walking away.

Cagalli was too confused to know what to feel. Mad at him? Or herself? Depressed for being alone? Guilty for knowing this would happen?

Mind too preoccupied with confusion and eyes too blurred with welling tears, she did not see who she just bumped into.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," came Cagalli's emotionless reply.

Cagalli Yula Athha just bumped into Lacus Clyne.

They just stood there for a few seconds. Lacus looking at Cagalli's face and Cagalli trying not to catch her wandering eyes. Cagalli, knowing that it would remain like that if she didn't do anything, said something.

"Just what are you looking at? These stupid glasses? I'm a Natural; it's normal for me to have poor eyes, unlike you Coordinators," said the Orb leader in a tone she tried to coat with harshness. I can't break down. I can't. I have to be strong.

"It's normal for Coordinators to cry, too," the Songstress replied, hurt.

The White Songstress moved closer to Cagalli. She took the blonde's glasses off and wiped her tears away with her dainty hand.

It's impossible to be cold to Lacus. Cagalli reached for Lacus' wrist and pulled her into her room which was a few steps away.

A swish of her id card and they were in. Then, she broke down.

Lacus' shoulders seemed to be the perfect place to catch her tears. It was so soft, and so warm. And she was so sincere. It was ironic how she was crying her heart out to the person who stole his heart from her.

And she was confused again.

Why is she here with me?

Why can't I feel a single tinge of anger for her?

Why am I crying?

"Don't hold back what you feel. It's okay to cry, precious rose." The Songstress whispered into Cagalli's ear.

Lacus sat up from the bed, leaving a sleeping Cagalli comfortably tucked in. She had lulled the rose princess to sleep.

Mornings and Nights
Ch2: Night 1: Transparency and Princesses
Gundam SeeD
published 09-06-06
edited 07-22-11

A/N: This used to be a songfic - Precious Rose, Cagalli's image song.