|Protecting to the Point of Pushing Away
Author: XxStephXx PM
He loves her, She loves him. She's keeping a secret, they split up. But the secrets out, can they work it out? LJ FluffinessRated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,494 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 09-10-06 - Published: 09-06-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3142469
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Lily was in the Gryffindor Common Room, late that night (well early morning), tidying away her books when James, Sirius and Peter walked in.
"Alright Evans?" said Sirius.
"Fine and you Black?"
"No complaints. Night"
"Night," said Lily, and she continued to gather her belongings.
"You haven't done anything have you? Not yet?" said James.
Lily twirled round and saw that Sirius and Peter had gone upstairs. James was sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands.
"Shhhh they're going to hear," hissed Lily.
"I don't care, I never wanted us to be a secret," said James, "Have you?"
"No it's only been a few hours, I haven't had a chance to even make the appointment yet," said Lily quietly.
"Good, don't do it"
"James, we've talked about this… it's the right thing to do," said Lily wearily.
"No we didn't talk, you talked. Now it's my turn"
"James don't, this is hard enough all ready"
"No, you have to listen to this, you owe me that at least"
"Alright then, but you won't change my mind"
"Do you love me?" asked James.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Everything. Do you?"
"Yes, I love you"
"What the hell? This better not be, if you love me you'll have my baby, because it isn't a good enough reason to bring a child into the world."
"It's not, well not really. Yes I want us to keep the baby…"
"Yeah I know, the war, we're so young and they are good points. But we love each other… I love you with all my heart, I didn't think I could ever feel that sort of love for anyone, but the thought of that little baby, it's the only thing that could ever compare to how I feel for you," said James pulling Lily down next to him on the stairs.
"This doesn't change how I feel, we can have kids one day, after the war when we're older and are ready to be parents"
"You don't know it won't change how we feel. Knowing that you killed our little baby, and you I know the guilt would eat you up inside…"
"Blackmail, James have this baby or you'll leave me"
"Not blackmail, I just want to talk things through. I'm not going to threaten you, or beg well not yet anyway.
"I don't see what there is to talk about, I can't…"
"If you want to, you can keep the baby, you won't be on your own. I will always be here for you"
"You don't know that, you don't know that you'll always be around"
"I wouldn't leave you or the baby, I swear," said James desperately.
"You say that now, but in a few years…"
"I love you, I'll always love you"
"That could change, we're so young and we don't know how we'll feel in the future and the stress of being young parents… I don't think we'll be able…"
"Why do you always doubt us? Even right at the start, you wanted to keep us a secret because you weren't sure you could trust me not to hurt you…"
"I do trust you…"
"You trust me now, and you keep the baby a secret, were you ever going to tell me about it, if you had the abortion?"
"I don't know… yes I would have told you"
"I don't know"
"Then this afternoon, why didn't you wait until after you got rid of the baby to talk to me?"
"Because I missed you, I miss you so much. I just couldn't…"
"You wanted me to know, you want me to talk you out of it"
"That's ridiculous. I didn't want to put you through this, I wanted to protect you from it," said Lily.
"Don't, it's my job to protect you"
"Sexist pig," said Lily immaturely.
"You might be right about that," James laughed softly, "but I wouldn't keep something like this from you"
"I'm sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing"
"Subconsciously I think, you wanted me to know. That's why you spoke to me before you did anything, and why you left the test where I could find it"
"I really didn't mean for you to find it"
"But I did," said James standing up, "and I don't think you want to kill our little baby"
"It's for the best," said Lily standing up.
"It's not, why would killing our baby ever be best," said James as he gently placed his hand on her stomach, "I love that little thing in there, almost as much as I love you"
"James don't," said Lily emotionally.
"I'm going to bed now, and we'll talk tomorrow morning," he said, "think about it, about the little life growing inside you, part of both us, what our love made"
"Okay," said Lily numbly.
"I'll see you, tomorrow," he said and then he pressed a kiss to her forehead and went upstairs.
Lily had spent most of the night up thinking about what James had said. She had meant to tell James her decision , but she had fallen asleep.
By the time Lily had made it down to the Great Hall everyone was leaving. She looked round frantically for James. She turned and saw him looking right at her, through the crowds of people. She just smiled, and nodded. James face immediately broke into a huge grin, and pushed his way through the crowds of people to her.
"You mean it?" he asked.
"Yeah, lets have this baby," she said.
"Yessssss," he whooped as he lifted her off her feet and twirled her round.
"Anyone could see us, in fact everyone is looking at us," Lily whispered into his ear, "lets give them something to look at," then she kissed him right there in the middle of the Hall.
"I knew you couldn't have done it," said James as they broke away.
"Prongs FINALLY got the girl," Sirius shouted from somewhere in the hall.