So, our five friends skipped to Wal-Mart. Even RVD and he was still wasted. (Don't ask how that one happened)

Their manager, Carl, was thrilled that they showed up on time. He put Lita, Rob, and Mr. Kennedy on register and John and Randy on cargo load.

Unfortunately, Lita was all PMS'd out.

It wasn't long before people got trapped in the hole-in-the-ground we call Wal- Mart. Some girl scouts came to buy some cookies.

First, they went to Lita 'cause they're all about girl power, yo.

Upon seeing them, Lita gave them the traditional Wal- Mart greeting. "Bitch, what do you want?"

The girls cowered, but one of them recognized Lita. "Hey! Aren't you a wrestler?"

Lita rolled her eyes and clapped. "You know, you bitches aren't so dumb after all. Hey, Whatcha got there? Cookies?" She took the box, ripped it open, and swallowed five whole. "Dammit, this is butterscotch! I want chocolate!"

"Hey that's ours!"

"Where's your reciept?"

"We haven't bought them yet!"

Lita gave the box back to them, pulled out a megaphone, and yelled, "Shoplifters! Shoplifters!"

Wal- Mart officials came immediantly and took the girls downtown for questioning. Lita laughed and yelled, "Next!"

Meanwhile, some boy scouts were having their own trouble with Mr. Van Dam.

"… so that kids, is why crime will always pay, everyday of your lives. That bastard will always regret the day… he screwed over RVP." Rob smiled while smoking a joint.

The boys looked at each other. "Don't you mean RVD?"

Rob rolled his eyes and flicked the butt. "Dude, that was months ago. That cat never even realized that I took a shit in its box."

"Huh?"

"Hey, you dudes are boyscouts. I used to be a boyscout. Do you know a dude named Tommy James?"

One boy smiled. "Yeah, he's my dad."

Rob's eyes widened. "God man, you better cover your ears. But you don't have to, I don't really give a shit. Dudes, this guy's dad sells the best drugs! He's got weed, acid, illegal cigars, meth, just- all that good shit! He was in my troop and damn, we used to get… fucked… up! He's so cool, he'll give you your first taste free!"

The boys stared up at him. At that moment, their troop leader came. "Alright guys, have you gotten the- Rob?"

Rob looked up and grinned. "Ryan Prettyman! Damn, it's been forever since I've seen you! Dude, you still following the slogan?"

"Totally! Dude, let's say it together for these little guys!"

They cleared their throats and said it together, "Hey, hey, hey, hey. Smoke weed everyday!"

They laughed as the boys stared wide-eyed at the respected Ryan Prettyman.

"Oh man, it was great seeing you again. We need to get in touch sometime."

"See ya."

Over at Mr. Kennedy's…

He was actually doing well. He greeted the customers way better than Lita, got the job done better than RVD, smiled, gave back change.

"I was born to do this job!" he proclaimed proudly.

In the back…

John was quickly growing pissed. He had been doing all the work and Randy had just been sitting on a box, admiring himself. When he wasn't doing that, he was whining about how unfair it was that he had to do this.

Finally, John could take no more, so he just hauled off and FU'd him. Then he carried on whistling.

Before they knew it, the day was over.

Just as they were clocking out, Carl decides to give them a mandatory drug test.

First, he tested John.

John was taken to a small gray room with no one in it. He sat on a stool and a voice from above asked, "Are you on drugs right now?"

"No." he answered.

"Alright. Leave."

It went that way with the rest until it was RVD's turn.

"Are you on drugs right now?"

RVD looked guilty. "Yes sir."

"Then leave and never come back."

And just like that, RVD was fired from Wal- Mart.