For those who stuck through to the end.

Author’s Note: Wow. I just finished another five-part short story. Not sure what else to say. I have no idea what the difference is between a lemon and a lime, so I tried to do a lime but I suppose I haven’t done quite enough to have it qualify as a lime. It’s not a lemon, either, so no one needs to panic. It’s nothing like some of the other stories I’ve written and read…

Warning: Slightly mature content. You have been warned.

Copyrights: Characters, back story, and settings are copyrights of Square-Enix and Disney. The title comes from the Yellowcard song ‘Believe’, like ‘Lights and Sounds’. The chapter title is basically the story’s title. The song I put into use is Memories – Within Temptation.

Disclaimer: If you’re dying – not ‘if you’re going to die’ or ‘what if you died tomorrow’ or ‘we all die eventually’ – what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you find? What secrets will you tell? What truths will you reveal? What memories will you recall? What will you hold on to before you let go? Will you be remembered?

XXX

βe∫EïvE

5 – Believe

A cold breeze. Rain was in the wind. Rain was coming upon the sea. Rain to wash him away.

Ienzo was dying. He could feel it. He could feel the life slowly leaving him, dissolving into nothingness. Zexion was gone, and Ienzo could not live long without the Nobody. Ienzo could not live long without a heart, like Zexion could.

He may not last the night.

Kairi pressed her hands against his shoulders, fingered the thin white fabric. She remained sitting on his waist, didn’t seem to notice the intimate pose. Her eyes seemed hooded, her face solemn with deep sadness. In the darkness, though, he could see her red hair shimmering, her blue eyes gleaming with its inner light.

“Ienzo,” she whispered again. “Ienzo…”

What was going through her mind?

She brushed her fingers against his face, said, “You’re warm.”

He was. He felt hot. He felt something pulsing in him, something like a heart. But it wasn’t a heart. He had no heart. He was neither Nobody, Heartless, or somebody. He hung in the space between all three. He was nothing.

And something. Someone. A nobody and a somebody.

“Ienzo,” she whispered, “I love you.”

…I love you, too…

“I love you,” she said again, her voice choking. “I love you…”

She pressed her head against his chest, started crying again. He closed his eyes, felt her warm body shake with every tear, every sob, every shuddering breath. He raised his left hand, gently ran his fingers through her long red hair. Silk flowed in between, cool like water.

Water…

A cold droplet of water fell on the back of his hand. Another fell on his nose. suddenly more were falling, more raindrops, more cold droplets from the sky. He looked up, wondered if the world was playing a joke by masquerading as the waterfall, or was sobbing for his impending demise.

“Just like the waterfall,” he heard her murmur over the relentless pounding rain. It soaked his shirt, drenched his hair, made his dark denim pants damp and heavy. Her hair streamed over her suddenly transparent blouse. He felt something inside him churn as the rain revealed the curves of her body. Ienzo caught himself swallowing hard, realizing all the emotions and sensations lost to him as Zexion were returning swiftly, and with vengeance.

Desire. He wanted to believe it, believe what he was feeling, but it’s been so long, and he’ll only have one night to experience, truly, what it meant to be a human again. He’ll have just one chance to do what was once impossible to him.

Love her. Love the little girl. Love the teenager. Love the Princess of Heart, before he finally fades away.

“Kairi,” he whispered, dread filling him as he understood at long last desire. “Kairi, I…I love you…I loved you then and I love you now…as Ienzo. I…”

How was he able to say this? He closed his eyes tightly, felt the cold rain on his hot face. He felt the water dribble down the bridge of his nose and drip off his chin. A deep breath through his nose brought the smell of rain and brine.

Then suddenly he felt her lips on his, soft and wet, meshing with his mouth. Slow and eager. He turned his head slightly, slid his mouth around hers, felt her hands running through his hair. Where he used to feel chills he only felt heat, a hot heavy warmth filling him. It felt like blood coursing through him.

She pulled back but he tugged at her bottom lip, drew her back to him, against him as he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her deeply, pushing his tongue into her mouth and seeking her flavor. He remembered her flavor so well, so stunningly bittersweet and hot. As the rain fell endlessly he finally let her go and she sat back, her lips still touching his. Ienzo opened his eyes, saw her. She was breathing hard, her red hair streaming over her flush face. He could see it, the understanding, so clearly in her eyes. She knew what he meant. What would she say?

“You’re dying,” she whispered. He couldn’t tell if she was crying or if it was the rain; her voice was shaking. “You’re dying. That’s why you’re saying this, aren’t you? Why did you-why did you do that? Why did you show me?”

“I want you to remember,” he said quietly, wavering between looking away and steadily returning her pain-filled gaze. “I want you to remember…before I go. Forgive me…”

Memories, memories, memories…

With a sob she hugged him tightly, pressing the side of her face against his. He sighed deeply, held her as she cried, “Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t-why couldn’t things be different? Why did it have to be you? Why did it have to be you?”

Why did it have to be me? I don’t know, Kairi, Princess. I wish I knew, but I don’t know. I’ll never know. Nobody will. Absolutely nobody…

“Why did you come to Destiny Islands?” he murmured into her ear as she fell silent. “Why did your friends become Keyblade Wielders? Why were you a Princess of Heart? Why were you born in Radiant Garden? Do we really know, Kairi? Do we really understand coincidence? Fate? Chance? Destiny? No, we don’t. We never will. But you don’t have to worry, Kairi,; you don’t have to worry and wonder. Just believe. Believe in your memories. Believe in the now. Believe in the future.”

“Then where are you?”

“Here. Always with you. A memory.”

He felt her hand tighten its grasp on his shirt. “I don’t want you to be a memory. I want you to be real…”

Pain. It wasn’t physical. It was despair. Despair and desire. He could feel the two equally powerful driving emotions roil inside him, begging him, forcing him, demanding he released them. But could he do this? Could he do this to her?

“I am real, Kairi. Touch me, Kairi. Touch my face. I’m still here. Not forever, but right now, I’m here and I’m real. Understand?”

She raised her head and looked at him, blinking at the driving rain. Funny, he suddenly thought. He didn’t feel cold at all. And she felt so warm, her skin slick but humming with life. He wanted to feel her against him, skin against skin. A hunger that was driving him over the edge, sending Ienzo where he had never gone before.

“Promise…promise me…promise me you won’t ever leave,” she said. Suddenly he saw a little girl sitting in his lap, looking up at him with large solemn blue eyes. He could see himself in them, himself and the autumn backdrop where they sat together in the castle gardens in the afternoons long, long ago. “Promise me you’ll always be here with me. Even if…”

The real Kairi. She was touching his face, tracing the structure, brushing her fingertips against his neck.

“Even if…”

She leaned closer, her other hand gripping his shoulder tightly until he winced. She paused for a moment; he saw her hesitate, knew she was still unsure of what she was doing.

“Even if…I never come back,” he finished. Inside he nearly chuckled at the paradox, but he understood. Never to leave, even when he was long dead and gone from most memories. He’ll still be there, in the back of her mind, watching her live. Watching her thrive. Always there.

“I’m always here,” he assured her, then leaned forward, catching her by surprise, and pressed his mouth against hers. The wetness made their lips slip, a sensuous struggle, but he locked her mouth with his and held her there.

He felt her arms slide around his neck and pull him closer, until they sank into each other and all thought, all reason, began to melt away.

In this world you tried
Not leaving me alone behind
There’s no other way
I’ll pray to the gods: let him stay

He seemed to float away from himself, was barely conscious of his hands reaching out, touching her waist, tugging at the blouse. But the buttons were in the way; he fumbled with them as the little plastic disks kept slipping from his wet fingers. Then he was pulling her blouse off her shoulders, exposing her to the sea-born rain. His hands touched the hot wet skin, felt her shiver with each move, with each touch, then she unlatched her arms from around his neck to pull off the blouse. It fell in a heap to the side, sinking into the wet sand. Kairi grasped at his shirt, swiftly undid the buttons, and pulled it apart and off his shoulders down to his forearms. She paused then, sat staring at the inky bruise on his chest.

Ienzo closed his eyes, didn’t want to see the fatal mark, but then he felt her touch it, a gentle probe and something shot through him. It wasn’t pain but it wasn’t pleasure, either. It was something else, something beyond comprehension. Something that gave a push to desire and despair.

She looked at him, again hesitant. “Ienzo…”

The memories ease the pain inside
Now I know why

Forget the scar. Forget the wound. Forget the blade that pierced his chest. Forget the clone that delivered the fatal blow. Forget the colleague who turned on him. Forget all those memories as a Nobody, driven by darkness to unspeakable things. Forget he ever wanted back his heart.

She was his heart. And that was all he really needed. He just wanted one more night with her. And he didn’t want anything to get in the way of that.

“Don’t,” he said, raising his hand and cupping her face, gently. She sighed, seemed to melt into the touch. “Don’t think about it, Kairi. Forget everything. Just remember here, here and now.”

“I believe you,” she murmured, her voice uncharacteristically low and earthy, then leaned in and kissed him. He shuddered as he felt her press herself against him, her hands touching him here and there, and he sank into the sand with her, forgetting even the sea and the rain, living each moment like it was his last.

It didn’t matter anymore.

Kairi.

She was with him. She was loving him. That’s all that mattered now.

All of my memories
Keep you near
In the silent moments
Imagine you’d be here
All of my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers, silent tears

xxx

The rain fell lightly, misting over the islands and the sea. The lights across the sea were shrouded in the sea-born fog. The moon shone faintly, screened by dissolving dark clouds, but the rain still fell. Moonlight shimmered in each droplet of water. A nighttime rainbow.

Ienzo wondered why he had never seen anything like that before this night. He regretted not paying better attention to the world around him, felt angry he couldn’t pay attention to the world without fearing his time was nearing.

But the anger couldn’t latch on. As soon as it appeared, it disappeared, leaving him strangely peaceful and dreamy.

A soft moan behind him made him turn around. Kairi was still sleeping, covered by a beach towel he had found folded and forgotten in the tree house on the islands. He smiled at her, then turned and continued staring out the doorway.

After the first rush, the first crescendo, he transported them inside the tree house built into one of the large trees that made of Destiny Islands. There they stayed for what felt like eternity in each others’ arms, unable to let go. Now sleep had come and taken her away with it. He was left to contemplate. He could feel his life leaving him, water spilling out onto the hot ground and vaporizing under the rays of the sun.

“I’m sorry, Kairi,” he whispered, unable to keep his eyes off of her for any longer than half a minute. A pang in his chest resonated with the longing words.

Made me promise I’d try
To find my way back in this life
I hope there is a way
To give me a sign you’re okay
Reminds me again
It’s worth it all
So I can go home

He knew what he was going to do, but it hurt him so much to even think about it. But still, he had to. Not for his sake – never for his sake – but for hers. He would have been willing to do anything for the little girl. He won’t hesitate for the teenager she had become.

Striding over to her, he knelt down and gently lifted her head and shoulders, cradled her, as he retraced exactly what he was going to do. He took her wet clothes, stared a bit curiously at the faint reddish stain on her underwear, and held them in one hand tightly as he opened a portal.

In her room, he laid her on her bed. He placed the clothes next to her, then stood back and took a deep breath. Instantly the smell of her rushed into his mind and he staggered, the scent suddenly overwhelming him. He leaned against the wall, took in shallow breaths as pain exploded in him. But he forced himself to stand up and approach the bed again. He took another deep breath, and willed his mind to mingle with the alluring scent. He held out his arm, palm down, and whispered.

Words lost in time. He could feel the omniscient presence swirl in him and outwards, filling the room with its presence. When he opened his eyes, when time had gone, they were both dry, and they both had their clothes back on. The clock had been wound back for both of them. She remained sleeping on her bed unaware of him as he stood there. He wondered what she would think when she wakes up. Would it all be a dream to her, what happened at the islands, or would she simply wonder at the power he had?

He sat down abruptly on the floor but the impact made no sound. Time was nearer than he realized. Ienzo forced himself back onto his feet, his knees shaking violently, and leaned against the bed. He looked down at the sleeping teenager, the peaceful presence in her expression, and he closed his eyes, unable to look at her face. When will he ever see her again? Once he was gone his memories, his thoughts, his emotions and feelings for her would all disappear. He’ll vanish into thin air. He slowly opened his eyes, though, and made himself look openly at her face, and his mind sought to remember it, every little eyelash, the play of night shadows on her face, her blushing lips, the strands of red hair falling over her right eye. And all the while his mind cried for her, for him, for Radiant Garden’s memories. He closed his eyes tightly then, shuddered violently as the waves of regret and nostalgia tore through his frame. When he opened his eyes, his vision was blurry and there were droplets on her cheek. She did not stir.

He leaned down and his lips gently pressed against hers. He held the kiss for as long as his limbs could hold him, tried to remember the taste of her, and when he pulled back, her flavor still lingered. Bittersweet, with a hint of brine.

The sea.

Ienzo was silent as he went to the guest room. He pulled off his clothes, and donned his Organization-issue wear. He folded the shirt and the pants neatly and placed them on top of the dresser, then walked slowly to the window. The sky was beginning to lighten. It was time.

All of my memories
Keep you near
In silent moments
Imagine you’d be here
All of my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers, silent tears

Dark smoke poured down onto the white sand, then Ienzo stepped out onto the shores of Destiny Islands. He could not see the mainland; the mists still hid it from him. He wondered if the mists had something against him.

One step and he was down on his knees, grimacing at the pain storming violently in his chest. This time it spread all over him, and he couldn’t stop himself from crying out as a hundred sharp daggers stabbed him, again and again, and when they stopped he lay there in the sand, gasping for air, feeling lightheaded. When he pushed himself onto his knees, he looked down and saw there was no impression on the ground where he fell. Ienzo shuddered.

He could hear the sea, rippling and quiet, calm after the wild crashing during the night storm. It was calling him. The hated sea with its vile salty breath was beckoning him into its open arms, into to its deep blue depths.

Ienzo rose to his feet, then looked down the beach, saw impressions in the sand. He looked harder and in his mind he saw them, saw them loving each other swiftly and slowly, with the deep sorrowful love that made it less about passion and more about the inevitable. There was no passion and lust, only desire and despair. And love. Love born of memories, protected by memories, waiting for the moment to let itself be known.

Ienzo always loved Kairi, always. Life just didn’t let things unfold the way he wished they wood. But…at least the moment came.

A step towards the sea. It was beckoning him, calling him, the repulsive powerful smell. His boots touched the surf and then he was stepping into the shallows. He felt like he was walking on top of water, felt he was floating. Ienzo didn’t stop, kept walking, deeper and deeper. He could feel himself dissolve into the ocean. The sea was eating him away.

He closed his eyes as he sank underneath.

And before Ienzo, suddenly there was light.

Together in all these memories
I see your smile
All the memories I hold dear
Darling you know I love you till the end of time

To him, she was still smiling that beautiful smile of hers on her beautiful face.

Kairi. Princess.

I love you. Goodbye…

XXX

She stared across the sea, still watching the islands, but the despair was growing. The need was growing. Could she wait any longer? The message in the bottle had drifted far away from the mainland and her thoughts, and no one had answer. No one had come back. And there was only one option left for her now.

Ienzo was right. Sora was her life now.

“Maybe…waiting isn’t good enough,” she sighed, willing yet unwilling to face it.

And from behind her, “My thoughts exactly! If you have a dream, don’t wait. Act. One of life’s little rules. Got it memorized?”

She knew who he was. Ienzo told her already. He had warned her of what Axel was. Who Axel was.

You!

But Axel wouldn’t know her. So she’d have to play with him, and see.

“Who are you?”

The red-haired man with the bright green eyes and the Organization coat approached her, looking thoughtful. “Axel. I happen to be an acquaintance of Sora’s. Why don’t we go see him?”

Sora?

Sora.

Sora.

Sora.

SORA.

“Sora?”

A flurry of feet in the sand and something yellow and black bounded into view. Her heart skipped a beat. She knew the dog anywhere and everywhere. Pluto! He dashed over to her and she bent over to pat him on the head . The man looked at Pluto with contempt.

Pluto started barking. Suddenly strange white creatures spun out of the air and into a large circle around her, Pluto, and the Nobody. She gasped and stared around wildly, then looked at Axel.

“We’ve got something in common, Kairi. You and I both miss someone we care about. Hey…I feel like we’re friends already.”

Kairi felt herself grow angry. She knew what Axel was up to, knew he was trying to make her follow him off Destiny Islands to do whatever the Organization wanted her to do. Then she heard a whistle and spotted darkness smoking from the air to the sand. A portal! Axel didn’t seem to notice. Axel hadn’t opened it. She edged towards it, careful not to warn Axel of what she was going to do.

Now!

“You’re not ACTING very friendly!”

And she ran.

To the portal.

To somewhere out of the boundaries of Destiny Islands.

To Riku.

To Sora.

Ienzo, you’re right. Even if you are gone, there’s others still out there, others I care for. But I won’t forget you. I love you. Until we meet again, beyond the boundaries of this life…

…Kairi.

All of my memories
Keep you near
In silent moments
Imagine you’d be here
All of my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers, the silent tears…

XXX

Author’s Endnote: It may be a while before I write another short story that’s not a oneshot, because I’m preoccupied with my two major stories, some serious artwork for deviantArt, and college applications. College applications must burn in hell.

Anyways, I love those of you who stuck through to the end, especially the ones who read Lights and Sounds. To all reviewers I give kudos but to those who read both stories through and through, I give extra props. No offense to those who only read this one, though. Like I said, I love you all!

Please review.

Arigatou gozaimas’.