Author: The Cashew Nuts PM
What was happening to Sirius when James was talking to Lily in Gryffindor Tower? This is an offshoot, from 'After the Full Moon!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Sirius B. & James P. - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 16 - Published: 09-08-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3146120
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or anything related to it. I only wn the plot for this thing...
A/N: Hello, there. well, this is the side story of what was happening with Sirius while James was talking to Liliy in Gryffindor Tower. It's an off shoot of "After the Full Moon," so, if you haven't read that, you won't understand this.
Also, a huge thankyou to everyone who reviewed ATFM: xreesex, Thankyou people who are nice, Scarlet Dreamer, CurseQueen, atsroguitarist, Dream Phantom, Katie MichelleBelle, mildetryth, prc101, duj, fuzzy-blanket21, Shopper mania, ameo, Semi-CrazyWithALittleWeirdness, lets keep it specified and webling-girl05.
And now, without further ado, the story...
"...A typical Potter, going and playing noble and brave, pulling back your enemy from certain death, at great personal risk? I'm sure Dumbledore loved that!" Sirius watched as James absorbed his taunt at his family. In truth, he hadn't ment it, but in his anger, the words had come of their own accord.
"You know, Sirius, I believed you when you said that you weren't a part of your family, that just because you had the same last name as them, you weren't anything like them. I was wrong. What kind of friend makes a promise, and then, after while, after it gets boring being someone that can be trusted, goes and betrays that person by trying to make them a murderer? WELL? I was stupid. A Black, not being in Slytherin, just maybe someone who can do something good, yeah right! You probably saw Remus as just a tool, a pet werewolf, who could come in handy if you didn't want to do the dirty work yourself. DIDN'T YOU? Well, I've finally realised, you were always a Black at heart, you are just as bad as one of them! YOU MAKE ME SICK!"
Sirius froze as James' words cut into him, clawing and slashing at his insides. 'YOU MAKE ME SICK!' reverberated around his head, as his throat tightened. The bubble inside his throat threatened to burst, and fearing he would break down, he ran blindly from the room.
Without stopping he leapt down the last few steps, flew across the common room and flung open the portrait hole, before running as fast as he could away from Gryffindor tower. Only when he was sure he had put enough space between him and James, did he stop. The problem was, James' words were still echoing inside his head.
Wiping his eyes on his sleeve, Sirius looked around. He was outside the Transfiguration classroom. Breathing in deeply, he turned, and rested his head against the cool stone.
'…you are just as bad as one of them…'
'…a pet werewolf, who could come in handy if you didn't want to do the dirty work yourself…'
'…that's the problem, Sirius, you never think...'
Sirius banged his head slightly to try to get the words to stop. But they wouldn't. And this time James' voice was joined by others.
'…just as bad as one of them…'
'…you never think…'
'…of all the cowardly, disloyal acts, this is the worst…'
'…you're a disgrace to the family name…'
'…you make me sick…'
'…you make me sick…'
'…you make me sick…'
'…you make me si-'
"ENOUGH!" Sirius shouted, his voice echoing around the hallway.
"Well, mother did say over the holidays that you were mad, but I hadn't expected to see you talking to yourself, big brother." A familiar voice drawled.
Sirius turned. There, lounging against the opposite wall was his brother, Regulus. With the dark hair that fell casually across his face and the light blue eyes, Regulus and Sirius could have been twins. Sirius glared at him.
Regulus laughed. "Is that any way to talk to your own flesh and blood, Sirius?"
"According to you and mother, Regulus, I'm no longer part of the Black family. Tell me, did you enjoy watching her blast my name off of the tapestry?"
"Not as much as she did."
Regulus sauntered towards him, and stopped a metre or so away. When he caught sight of the tear tracks and Sirius' pale face, his features lit up with a sadistic sort of pleasure. "What's this? Oh dear, does big brother feel sad? Does he miss his Mummy? His expectations of not being a part of the Black Family not coming up to scratch? His 'real' family not being supportive?"
When Sirius involuntarily winced, Regulus'eyes gleamed.
"Ah, Blood traitor Potter and his friends not being nice to poor Sirius? Maybe they've finally realised what you are. A traitor?" He gauged Sirius' reaction. When he got none, Regulus kept going. "A liar?" He paused, "A coward?" He finished softly.
At that, Sirius' control snapped. With a roar, he tackled his brother and slammed him into the wall. "I'M A COWARD! If I'm a coward, what does that make you?" Sirius gripped the front of Regulus' robes tightly. For the first time in the conversation, Regulus lost the sneer and a look of uncertainty flickered over his face.
"I hope you enjoy grovelling and licking shoes, because, keep going the way you are, and that's all you will ever have." With a look of contempt, Sirius leaned in, "You're the coward, Regulus."
His sneer back in place, Regulus laughed. "You're the one who's manhandling your younger brother, Sirius. The brother you promised to protect? I hope your new found 'friends' can put up with empty words, because that's all you ever give. And that's all you have, Sirius. Nothing."
"I have everything I need, 'Black'."
"Except a family."
Sirius' hands shook, and he released his brother.
Regulus smoothed his Slytherin tie, smiling in triumph.
"You're wrong, Regulus." A voice said behind the younger brother. A voice that sounded painfully familiar to Sirius. Regulus whipped around to see James Potter standing in the middle of the hall.
"I was wondering when the blood traitor was going to show up. What now, Potter? Come to claim Sirius as your own brother? How beautifully sentimental and poetic." Regulus said mockingly.
"Don't talk about things you don't understand, Regulus." James walked forward and took hold of Sirius' arm. "Come on Sirius, let's go."
As if in a daze, Sirius followed James.
"Don't walk away from me, Sirius!" Regulus said loudly. They ignored him, and kept going. "You're both making a mistake! You could have been with us, on our side!"
At this, Sirius whirled around. "On 'our' side? The same side that threw me out because I dared to be different? I will never join your side, Regulus. You're the one who's making the mistake."
Regulus' face was bright red with anger. "The Dark Lord will have victory, and you will wish that you, both of you, had listened to me when you had the chance."
Sirius laughed, but it was without humour. "Grovelling and bootlicking, Regulus. That's all."
"You'll regret this." Regulus turned and started to walk away.
"No, I won't." Sirius said softly, before turning and walking with James. After a few minutes, however, he stopped and looked down at his feet.
"Sirius?" James asked softly.
"Why'd you do that?"
"Why'd you say that? Why'd you say Regulus was wrong?" Sirius was still looking at his feet. James put a hand on his shoulder and waited for him to look up. When he did, James looked him in the eye.
"Because it's true. Your family is right here in front of you."
Sirius sniffed and looked down again. In a sudden movement, he caught hold of James and latched his arms around him. "Thankyou.", Sirius whispered, holding on tightly to James' robes. James was clutching Sirius as well. "You're welcome."
After a long moment, they let go of each other and smiled. Sirius opened his mouth, and James knew he didn't need to hear his apology.
"It's okay, Padfoot."
"It's fine. I'm the one who should be apologising, for what I said to you."
"Don't, I deserved it. I'm sorry too."
"I told you-"
"No, I needed to say it James." James nodded.
Sirius smiled again. "Okay, I'm sorry, you're sorry, it's all settled. I need to go and see Moony now."
James nodded again. "Do you want me to come with you?"
"No, I need to do this on my own."
"I'll meet you back in the Common Room later then?"
"Yeah, I'll be there."
A/N: Phew, well, I didn't think I'd get to the end of that when I was writing...
Anyway, please review, I would like to know what you think...
Thanks for reading!
luv, Nut 1