Mr. South Park and KP go to Washington

(The Episode stars by Stan getting the mail)

Stan: (looking at the mail) Junk, junk ,and more (bleep) junk! All we get is...(finds a Reader's Digest)...oooh! We have Reader's Digest. Boo.

(Stan throws the Reader's Digest in the trash)

(theme song)

(during the theme song)

Stan: WHAT!

Les: My bass guitar is wrong!

Stan: Lemme fix it!

Les: Okay.

(Stan breaks the bass guitar and buys Les a new one)

Les: Woo-hoo! Now let's get back to the theme song!

(back to the theme song)

(episode starts)

(At Kyle's room)

Kyle: And I get my own big swimming pool!

Stan: Cool,dude!

Cartman: Hey Kyle, Where's the GameSphere 3000?

Kyle: It's under my bed.

Cartman: Oh.

Kenny: (When can we go into your swimming pool?)

Kyle: Right now!

(outside)

Kenny: (That's your swimming pool!)

Kyle: Yes.

(camera goes to a very,very,very BIG Kyle Brofloski swimming pool,3 to 4 ,4 to 5 ,5 to 100 )

Kenny: (I'm getting my scuba diving stuff on.)

Kyle: NOOO!

(Kenny jumps in the pool)

(Kenny almost dies)

Stan: Oh my god, Kenny comitted...

Kenny: (Ow! That hurt!)

Stan: God (bleep) (bleep) it!

Kyle: Watch your mouth!

Stan: Don't put the hat on frosty!

Kyle: It's not 2001 you (bleep)!

Stan: Just an expression.

Kyle: Oh!

Cartman: Put the water on!

(The pool gets water)

Kyle: Now put the jacoozi on!

(The people which are Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable turn on the jacoozi)

Kyle: That feels better! Ah!

Kim: Ron, I need a swim.

Ron: I need one. I'm Jewish!

(Ron takes off his clothes to reveal his bathing suit)

Ron: Kyle,here I come!

(Ron goes into the pool killing Kenny for a little bit)

Kyle: Kenny died.

Stan: Well,whatever.

Ron: Kyle,I'm your brother.

Kyle: Woo hoo!

Stan: My reader's digest!

Kyle: What?

Stan: I had a Reader's digest!

Cartman: Heh! That is the crappiest magizine ever!

Ron: I have a closet full of reader's digest and there was a contest for 6 people to go to Washington DC.

All: Boring.

Ron: I mean Seattle, Washington!

All: Still boring.

Ron: A skate park is there!

All: Oh yeah! Booyah!

Kim: Can I go in the pool?

Kyle: No,Ike's in there.

Ike: Hello your (bleep) majesty!

Kim: Ready,kick the baby.

Ike: Don't kick the baby!

Kim: Kick the baby!

(Ike hits Ron)

Ron: OW!

Kim: Can I?

Kyle: Okay,but they know babies are not part of the contest.

Kim: Woohoo!

(Kim goes in to the pool,naked.)

Kim: Woohoo!

Cartman: Just like I saw Nirvana yesterday.

Kyle: Ron, Kim's naked!

Ron: I'll fish her!

(Ron puts a dollar underwater and Kim is trying to catch it,ala Nirvana's cover of Nevermind)

Kyle: This is like nevermind only.

Kenny: (Okay,this is another Nirvana or Weird Al album.)

(The fishing hook accidently grabs Kim and cuts her ala Kenny's deaths)

Kim: Help! The hook grabbed me!

Ron: I'll save you!

(Ron saves Kim)

Ron: Whoa.

(Ron sees Kim bleeding hevily)

Ron: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kyle: I'll get my mom while you take care of Kim.

Kim: Cartman is a (bleep)!

Cartman: WHAT! OH MY GOD! AAAAAHHH!

(we see Cartman's mom tanning)

Liane: What's wrong sweetie?

Cartman: Kim called me a (bleep)!

Liane: Don't call me a (bleep)!

Cartman: Well,whatever. Can I have some Cheesy Poofs?

Liane: NO!

Cartman: I want my Cheesy Poofs!

Liane: They're at the snack bar.

Cartman: Woohoo!

(in the house)

(Kyle's mom is doing something with Kim)

Shelia: Don't scream because I know this burns and my Kyle screams when I put this stuff on him.

(Shelia puts the iodine on Kim's cut)

Kim: (screaming) Kyle's mom is a big fat idiot!
Ike: I told you "Don't put the iodine on Kim"!

Kyle: Wow,you're very smart for a 7 year old.

Ron: What! Now we have to bring Ike up to there!

Kyle: He's tall and dressed up like Phillip! Now they will think he's the star of Terrance and Phillip!

Ron: They say to Canadians that turn into Americans,they will count as Americans.

Ike: Yay!

Kyle: Huh?

Ike: What's wrong?

(The real Ike falls out of the costume and says "I'm the real Ike,I'm 19,you people!)

Kyle: He was a 19 year old! Wow!

(at the snack bar)

Cartman: Where's the (bleep) cheesy poofs.

Liane: APRIL FOOLS! HEH!

Cartman: It's May 21st,not April 1st.

Liane: I was thinking of that for a month.

Cartman: Where's the Cheesy Poofs!

Liane: Go in the kitchen.

Cartman: Time to raid the fridge! YEAH!

(in Kyle's room)

Kenny: (How can you play Enter The Fatrix 2?)

Kyle: Same controls as Enter The Fatrix.

(on screen)

Kylo: Testity! Testity! NOOO!

Testity: I'll save you!

(Testity kicks the heck out of Agent Keddy's butt)

Agent Keddy: (AAAAHHHHH!)

Stan Brothers: Hello. You killed Keddy.

Testity: I really really...(Ron turns off power)

Ron: You ain't supposed to play that on my Xbox!

Kyle: It's so cool that I like it!

Cartman: It's time for dinner.

Mr. Marsh: Look what I got you...(holds up cardboard laptops)...BUENO NACHO KIDZ PAKS! and for Ron and Kim, adult Bueno Nacho meals for an average meal for tweens.

Kim: We ain't tweens!

Ron: We ain't!

(deleted scene)

(while they were eating)

Cartman: So did Saddam Hussien crap off, Kenny?

Kenny: (Yeah, and they were made out of silicon.)

Cartman: MY (bleep) IS NOT SILICON!

Kim: Up bup up! Screw you guys, I'm going...

All: NO!

Kim: What?

Ron: Kim, don't go home. Kyle has many Soul Coughing CDs!

Kim: Soul Coughing? YAY!

Ron: Now can we eat?

(back to the regular scenes)

Shelly: Kids and tweens...

Kim and Ron: WE AIN'T TWEENS!

Shelly: Go brush your teeth!

Stan: We hadn't had dessert!

Shelly: DO IT OR I'LL KICK YOUR FAT(bleep) out of here!

Stan: Okay!(to himself) (bleep).

(in the bathroom)

Stan: I can't beleve that Shelly kicked my butt!

Kenny: (Well, there's next year.)

Stan: Kenny, you are wrong!

Kim: Can you guys be quiet? I'm sleeping.

Ron: Shut your mouths up!

Kenny: (OKAY!)

Stan: Let's go to bed.

Kim: (in REM aka rapid eye movement) NO! NO! DON'T KILL ME DOUGHTY! YUSAL! M'ARK! NOO!

(in Kim's dream)

Kim: NO!

M. Doughty: We'll kill you or give us the stolen El Oso CD!

Yusal: GIVE US THE CD!

Kim: No!

M. Doughty: We'll kill you now!

(They cut Kim)

Kim: NOOOOOOO!

(in the real world)

Kyle: Well...WAKE UP!

Jim: It is 5 am and you are listening to Los Angeles.

(in Kim's dream)

Kim: NOOOOOOOOOO!

M. Doughty: Oh, I remember that tune. It's when we performed at Uncle Woody's.

Yusal: Different than the Knitting Factory.

M'ark: Well, let's kill her.

(In the real world)

M. Doughty: She thinks we're going to kill her.

(in Kim's dream)

(alarm goes off)

Kim: I'm alive!

(Kim wakes up)

Kim: Huh? Soul Coughing is here!

M. Doughty: If you think that live one is true, it's fake. Only in Japan.

M'ark: And we quit.

Kim: Oh.

M. Doughty: Now let's get some chowwwwwwweeee! You won Ron!

Kim: I won!

M. Doughty: I mean Ron.

Ron: Yay!

M. Doughty: You won a trip to Seattle, Washington where a skate park is.

Ron: Yay!

Yusal: You already said yay 2 times!

M. Doughty: Let's go get some fruit bars.

Ron: I can only have kosher. Part of the Jew's handbook.

M. Doughty: Everything's kosher.

Ron: Yay!

Kyle: We have to go!

Ron: OKAY!

(at the airport)

M. Doughty: We have to go to Italy for a renunion concert. Hope you see my album next year. I'll meet ya at Seattle, Washington tomorrow.

Yusal: Hope you don't get hurt!

Ron: Okay, Yusal!

M'ark: Bye!

Kim: AAAAAH! SOUL COUGHING IS TRYING TO KILL ME! AAAHHHHH!

Kyle: Be quiet!

Kim: AAAAH!

Intercom: Hello, your flight to Seattle is in 1 hour and 25 minutes and in the 1st class is Snoopy, Spike, Olaf, Ron, Kim, Kyle, Kenny, Eric, Stan, and Phillip...

Stan: Yeah! We get to see Terrance and Phillip eees!

Intercom: eees.

Stan: Yay!

Saddam: Where is the bullet plane to Gastonia?

Intercom: It is on Doughty #11 Planes leaving in a hour.

Saddam: Yay!

(1 hour later)

Intercom: Plane to Seattle leaving in 25 minutes.

Ron: Turn on the machines!

Security Lady: I'll turn them on!

(Ron pushes on her and out comes a bag of marajuana)

Cartman: You cut grass on your free time and it's marajuana!

Security Lady: AAAAHH! I'll turn the machines on! AAhhhh!

Cartman: That's just a dirty joke. Heh heh!

(on the plane)

Stewardess: Hello, what can I get for you?

Ron: I want a Dr. Pepper, 2 Fantas...

Stewardess: What flavor?

Ron: Orange, 5 microwavable bean burittos...

Stewardess: We don't have any.

Ron: 5 hamburgers, and 5 orders of large fries.

Stewardess: Our food is sponsored by Checker's Burgers Fries Colas.

Ron: How much?

Stewardess: Free! Because you won the contest.

Ron: Here's a little tip.

Stewardess: Thank you.

(in row 13)
Kyle: Wow, I get to sit by you Phillip.

Phillip: I'm going to Vancouver to shoot a film.

Kyle: Wow, you must of gotten a haircut.

Phillip: Isn't it beautiful?

Kyle: Yeah. Sweeet.

(back to row 1)

Kim: Ron, is it you, or is that "Sweeet" guy talking loud?

Ron: Sweeet! Sweeet!

Cartman: AAAAHHH! COBRAS!

Stewardess: Here's your food.

Ron: Let's dig in!

Kim: NO! AAAAAHHH! COBRAS!

(in row 14)

Homer: Marge, a badger is trying to eat me!

Marge: Homer, throw yourself.

Homer: Okay.

(Homer jumps off the plane)

Homer: Yahhhhhhh! D'oh!

Intercom: We are 1 minute to the Space Needle and 5 minutes to Seattle.

(4 minutes later)

Intercom: We are at Seattle. Fasten your seatbelts because this is a sick ride.

(The plane goes down)

Kenny: (Yahh!)

Stan: AAAAAHHH!
Homer: Marge, save me!

Badger: NOOOO!

(The badger falls on the space needle)

Badger: Oh my god, they killed Keddy!

(on plane)

Kim: Sweeet!

Ron: Yahhhhh!

Bart: Yahhh!

Kenny: (AAAAAHHHH!)

Intercom: We are landing right now and take off your seatbelts now.

All: Okay!

(at the airport)

Intercom: Here we are at Kurt Cobain Memorial Airport in memory of Kurt Cobain, who shot himself with a gun and I'm going to sleep. ZZZZZZZ...ZZZZZZ.

Ron: That was a bumpy ride!

Kim: Sweeet!

Kyle: Sweeet.

Homer: D'oh!

Kim: Where's our cab?

(some guy that has a sign that says "South Park Kids and KP Tweens""

Limo driver: Hi!

Kim: Here's our limo!

Ron: I'll go in first!

(deleted scene)

(in the limo)

Ron: Wow! This is amazing!

Limo Driver: Hello, this is Eddy Garrison driving your car today and where will you go today?

Ron: Jack in the Box and Kurt Cobain Memorial Hotel, or the biggest hotel there is.

Limo Driver: Okay! Now let's go!

All: Cool and Sweeet!

Limo Driver: Now go on!

All: Yeah!

(back to regular scene)

Ron: Thanks for those big Jacks(burger) and taking to the largest hotel in Seattle!

Limo Driver: Okay! Just call me at 1-800-MRH-AT97!

Kyle: Mr. Hat.

(in the hotel)

Ron: Wow!

Guy: Hello, this is Matt Smith Sr. and we have a contest of going to Seattle.

Ron: Is your son here?

Matt Simth Sr.: Yes. He's in his room, playing South Park Rally and South Park Tekken.

Ron: Okay!

(at Matt's room)

Matt: What?

Ron: I have to tell, look what you have done!

Matt: I'm so impatent!

Matt Senior: Ron, leave.

(in Kyle's room)

Ron: It's fun playing Chinpokomon all night long.

Kyle: I'm getting tired.

Ron: Me too.

Kyle: Let's go to bed.

Ron: (yawns) Mommy.

Kyle: I ain't mommy you fat(bleep)!

Ron: I'm sleepy.

(in Ron's dream)

Ron: I'm on the WTC and it's falling? NOOO!

(Ron wakes up)

M. Doughty: Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!

Ron: Oh my!

M. Doughty: I'm taking you all to Cartmanland 2!

All: Yay!

(at Cartmanland 2)

Cartman: I bought the whole parks.

Ron: Bet ya to the "Mine Shaft 22220000" roller coaster!

Kenny: (Okay!)

(on the "Mine Shaft 22220000" roller coaster)

Ron: Here's the bad part! AAAAAHHH!

(The roller coaster goes down)

(to be continued)

PART 1 of 4