Chap 9

Two weeks later

Shyla stood in her room packing her suitcase to leave Sanctuary. In her time there she had seen sparks of hope for the Mutant X team as well as their disappointments. More recently she had seen the roller-coaster that was Jesse's and Galena's relationship go from a high to a low and back over and up again. One day Jesse would be treating the girl like a princess, cooking her favorite meals, watching movies with her that he normally would have avoided, taking her shopping at the mall and allowing her to drive his Lexus. Shyla had noticed that each thing Jesse did for the woman he was supposed to love would temporarily bring Galena out from her distant world, but the girl would soon after return to the empty place that only her cousin could begin to penetrate.

It also seemed that each time Galena looked as if she was going to return to her normal easy-go-lucky natured the girl would draw back and plunge even further into her private void. Her taste in clothes had gone from a casual, comfortable style of yoga pants and tanks to tight leather pants and reveling halters that had been a far stretch for the girl even on clubbing nights. The intimate conversations had all but ended and were replaced by light remarks and brief chats.

'Galena isn't responding the way we all thought she would. Everyone thought that she would be trying to help Jesse, but he's the one who's trying to help her. Brennan is very protective of her, and that makes me wonder exactly what is going on in her mind right now. She's in need of a lot of love, and I think that only one person can give her the kind of love that she needs. I wish I didn't have to leave them during this intense time.' Shyla thought as she locked the suitcases.

There was a soft knocking at the door pulling Shyla from her thoughts. "Come in," she called.

Jesse opened the door and stepped into the room. "Hey, Shyla. I just wanted to talk with you privately before we all go to the airport."

"That's fine Jesse. What did you want to talk about?"

"Galena.” he sighed. “I don't know what's the matter with her. She's gone from being one of the sweetest women in the world to a person who resembles what could only be described a horrible slut."

"She's having trouble dealing with your rejection. Jesse, I know that you want to be careful of how you treat her, but she has a need to be loved and wanted."

"I know, but why is she acting like a bad girl? If she’s looking for attention she’d do a lot better if she was more like herself. Or at least get men that would treat her better."

"She wants a man different from you. The intensity of your relationship made it even harder on her when you woke up and couldn't remember her. I'm not a psychiatrist, Jesse, and I won't pretend to be, but I think and believe that she needs you to prove to her that there is still a chance that you can come back to her, the way you were before the accident. She needs to know that you still at least partially feel for her."

"Shyla, I have never been so confused by my emotions, but Galena has me in a total wreck. One minute I'm falling in love with her and the next she is everything I hate. No matter how good she looks in leather I can't stand to see her dressed that way."

"In my time here, I've seen a lot of faith, and I think that you need to tap into that resource. Once you get your memories back I think Galena will be happy to take you back.'

"I know that she still loves me, but I am starting to wonder why I ever fell in love with her in the first place. I've never gone for women who looked like an easy mark. I want a woman who can respect herself, and lately Galena has looked as if she was a hooker."

"I wish there were more men like you, Jesse. I strongly believe that Galena has done this to make a point. She knows what you want in a woman, and has decided to keep from being that. Maybe to attract normally wanted attention or possibly to just flat out irritate you."

"Do you think she could get trapped in this kind of behavior?"

"Jesse, I don't understand how her mind is working well enough to answer you. Like I said, I’m not a psychiatrist. I've seen people change after a traumatic event in their lives, but I can't say if Galena will permanently take on this behavior."

"Thanks, Shyla; I'll let you finish packing."

"Feel free to come talk to me anytime you want."

"I don't know what we're going to do with out you. In the last few weeks you've become an important part of the team."

"Thank you Jesse. You aren't going to be loosing me though. I have a few reasons to come and visit often,” she smiled slightly, “and any of you can call me whenever you want."

"Thanks Shyla."

He left the room and left Shyla to her packing. He walked down the hall to Galena's room and paused when he saw that the door was open. The girl was sitting in the floor leaned against her closet door reading a book. "Having fun?" he asked.

Galena looked up to see Jesse standing in the doorframe and set the book down. "Poetry. I picked up the habit from my cousin. He'd send me books for my birthday and Christmas even if he didn't have a thing to do with me the rest of the year."

"So both of you are poetry lovers."

"Yeah, I spent hours reading poetry to you during the weeks I was waiting for you to wake up."

"Shal didn't tell me that, but then she's been quiet lately."

"She's protecting you, like always. Adam said it might help pull you back since I had read to you a lot when we were dating."

"You've got a soothing voice, Galena."

"That's what he said. When he had you in the lab he said that hearing my voice seemed to help you a lot."

"Thank you."

"You've got nothing to thank me for. I'd do it for any member of the team."

"I've got every reason to thank you. For six weeks you sat waiting for me to wake up, and when I did you got hurt because I couldn't remember you. Galena, I know that you've chosen to pretend that you don't love me, but I still want a chance to find out who you are."

"I'm going to give you a chance to get to know me, but I'm not pretending. Jesse, you aren't the person I loved. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget what has happened to us over the last several weeks, I am starting to think you were right to say we should only be friends."

"Galena, don't shut me out, please."

"I'm not shutting you out. I don't regret anything we did,” she hesitated for a minute “but I can't imagine ever doing those things again. I'm going to give you every chance to remember me, but I'm not going back to the relationship we had."

"Don't tell me that you want to forget it all. You did so much for me over the last year that I can't imagine you not wanting to get back together. I may not know what we were to each other in the end, but I do know that the way you've been acting couldn't be the real you."

"You know who my cousin is. I'm like him in more ways than you'll ever know." Her eyes flashed with fire as she looked at him.

"When we talked two weeks ago you weren't anything like your cousin is or used to be. You are the only person who has understood when I've told the truth about what happened between me and Juls."

"I've made my choice, Kilmartin.” she forced her voice to remain steady and tried to inject as much poison into her voice as she could. “I don't want our relationship back."

"You can say whatever you want to, Galena. No matter how much you believe it I never will. If you didn't love me why did you spend six weeks by my side? Why did you say that you wouldn't have known what to do with out me? Why did you go running out of the room crying when I couldn't remember you?"

"I don't love you, Jesse! I did, but we were wrong for each other."

Jesse stood quietly as he watched her hazel eyes fill with tears. He hesitated a moment, but then stepped into the room, sat down next the Galena, and wrapped her small form in his arms. Although she was surprised by his action she relaxed into the embrace and let her tears flow. When she finally stopped crying she pulled away from him and looked into his blue eyes that were full of concern.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Don't hurt yourself. We all love you."

"I know, Jesse, I know."

"Why don't you save some of those tears for the airport? Shyla's gonna be disappointed if you don't cry when she leaves." he said as he smiled at the girl and gently brushed away her tears.

She laughed slightly and smiled. "You're too good to me, Jess. I tell you that I don't love you anymore, and you still take care of me when I start crying."

"No one can be too good for you, and I will always s be there to take care of you."

"Jesse, you don't have to constantly try to make me feel important. I know that I wasn't born into a good family and that because of my birth I don't deserve to be anything more than a servant for someone like you."

"I don't ever want to hear you talking like that again. I don't give a damn about birth rights or class, and if you‘ve spent any time around me you should know that. You are just as important as anyone I know. It doesn't matter if you're from a rich family or not. The only thing that matters is what you do with yourself."

"If I hadn't met your father I'd swear that you couldn't be from a rich family."

"Not everyone who is rich is a snob."

"You're definitely proof of that. Shal and Em don't even like to go on quick shopping trips with me because I take forever to find something that I like, but you spent an entire day at the mall with me. Waiting on me to try on clothes, and then insisting on paying for everything."

"Just don't tell my father. He wouldn't understand that kind of stuff."

"I won't. You'd better got to your session with Emma. She's going to be angry if you're late."

"No session today. She's giving me the day off since we are taking Shyla to the airport."

"Jesse, I'm sorry that I got upset. It's been a hard time for me and my emotions seem to overwhelm me sometimes."

"I've noticed, but you deserve to be a little crazy."

Galena laughed and Jesse stood up and left the room.

2 hours later at the airport.

Shyla and the members of Mutant X stood outside the gate waiting for the boarding call. "I want to thank you for allowing me to visit over the last few weeks. I know that it wasn't the best time in the world for you to have a visitor, but you all did a marvelous job of making me feel welcome." Shyla said to the group.

"It was our pleasure." Emma said.

"Flight 119 for Atlanta boarding in 5 minutes." A voice came over the intercom.

"Time to say our final goodbyes." Shalimar said quietly.

"Now, Shal, it won't ever be good bye. I plan on visiting frequently and want you all to call me anytime." Shyla said as she blinked back her tears. She quickly hugged everyone and then smiled and turned to board the plane.

The group of six watched as Shyla boarded the plane and then waited until it had taken off before they left. They walked to the parking lot where Brennan, Shalimar, Emma, and Adam got into the SUV while Jesse and Galena got into the Mustang.

"It's going to be weird not having Shyla around." Jesse said as he started the car.

"Yeah she was nice to have around." Galena answered quietly.

"I liked how easy to talk to she was. Everyone here has loyalties even if they are unspoken ones."

"Someone with impartiality is good."

"Especially now with things being so tense around home. I feel like it's my fault."

"It's not. We're all just drained. Over the last couple of months you took a six week nap, then woke up having forgotten the last eighteen months, then Shyla came and stabilize us." She finished in a hurry, not wanting to dwell on anything for too long.

"I guess that is a lot for two months.” he hesitated as he debated with himself, but decided to take a risk. “Do you want to go out for dinner and then a movie?"

"No, I've got work that I need to do."

"You always have work when I want to take you out."

"Jesse, I don't want you to take me out.” she felt her resolve breaking. “In fact I never want to talk to you again."

"I thought you were going to give me a chance to get to know you." He looked at her in confusion

"I changed my mind." She snapped back.

"Galena, don't give up on me. I don't know what I'd do with out you to talk to."

"I'm not Juliet!” she felt real annoyance building up in her body. “That's how you are treating me, but I am not her. If you want someone who will help you through your problems talk to Shal or Emma."

"I never said you were Juliet, and I’m pretty sure that I’ve never done anything to make you feel like you were a replacement for her."

"Maybe not, but you have a track record of liking to talk to girls that you just want to fuck. You did it with Juliet, and now you're doing the same thing to me."

He felt his breath catch at her words. As little as he knew about her, he had never expected the woman to throw his biggest mistake in his face like that. "Galena, I just want to talk,” he struggled to stay calm, “not have sex."

"Don't try it with me, Jesse. I swear to god that I will never talk to you again. That means that I sure as hell won't be getting in bed with you again either. You know, I do regret having lost my virginity with you. I should have listened when you said that you didn't deserve it. For once in your life you were thinking straight."

"I'm sorry that you regret it,” he tried to adopt a soothing tone, but found himself irritated with her, “but the past is the past. Right now we have a chance to relearn everything about each other."

"Well I'll tell you the one thing I've learned.” her voice and eyes were both full of spite. “You, Jesse Kilmartin, are a total bastard who wants nothing but a wench who will sit and listen to you bitch about your life and then spread her legs for a quick roll in your sheets."

"You know that I'm nothing like that.” he objected as he looked at her in surprise. “I would never go out or be with anyone who had that little respect for themselves or their body. I don't know what has you so upset, but I plan on proving to you who I really am. Then you can decide if that's what I'm really like."

"Sounds perfect to me, even though I know that it will only confirm what I just said." She turned to face the window and became stonily silent.

Jesse sat in silence as he drove. 'I'd love to know where she gets her ideas. I have never once done anything like what she's accusing me of, at least not anything I can remember. Not even the stuff I told her about my relationship with Juliet could have given her that kind of impression of me. If she wants to end any kind of relationship with me I'll let her, but damn I wish she'd let me have a
chance.'

Galena stared out the window and watched the road signs pass by. 'Jesse I'm sorry. I just can't pretend that I'm not angry. I know that you don't like easy women, but I still wish that you'd just give up on us. I don't think I could take the strain if anything else happened in our relationship. Now if I only had the courage to actually tell you this so you could allay my fears like you used to do. I miss that so much. I'd tell you everything, and then you would pull me into your arms and let me cry it out. Almost like this morning. Hell, exactly like this morning.' When they arrived back at sanctuary she got out of the car and immediately ran to her room and laid on her bed crying. A few minutes later Shalimar came in and sat next to the girl.

"Galena, you alright?"

"No. Shal, how can anything be alright? I'm going to loose the one part of my life that was actually good. I know that I need to let him go, and I've done everything in the world to get him to give up on me, but nothing has worked I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have Adam put me in the underground. I'm really no use here anyway."

"And when Jesse gets his memories back you want to make me look him in the eye and tell him that his fiancé, the woman who was supposed to be so in love with him that she was willing to marry him, has decided that it would be best for him if she just left and skipped out on him and their relationship? I won't do it, Galena.” she shook her head. “I love both of you too much to let anything like that happen."

"Shal I can't do this any longer. Do you have any idea how much I want to be able to kiss him, to discuss wedding plans, to fall asleep wrapped in his strong arms knowing that no matter what he will protect me?"

“I know that I can't understand how you feel,” she dropped her voice down to a low soothing tone and gently stroked the girls head, “but I also know that right now you and Jesse both need each other very much. He loves you. He doesn't know why or how, but he loves you. It's not healthy for you to beat yourself up. I never want to hear you suggest going into the underground again. We need you here. I really don't know what we'd do without you."

Galena sat up and fell into Shalimar’s arms. Shalimar put her arms around Galena and held the girl close. The sobbing brunette cried into Shalimar's shoulder as she dealt with her emotions. It was almost as safe in the sisterly embrace with Shalimar as the more intimate way Jesse had held her every night before the club.

Down the hall Jesse sat in the computer lab trying to update the security system, but was unable to concentrate. Emma walked into the room and stepped up behind him. "Everything going alright?" she asked as she began to gently massage the tension out of his shoulders and neck.

"That feels good, Em.” he tried to punch in a few more commands. “The security system is going about as well as my relationship with Galena."

"I thought you two were just friends right now."

"Right now she doesn't even want to be that. She's got some idea about me wanting to sleep with all my female friends, and is refusing to even speak to me."

"That's not like either of you. Did you say anything to her that could have gotten her started thinking that way?"

"The only thing I can think of is that I told her the whole truth about what happened between me and Juls. I finally found someone who I thought would understand what I did, and it all backfires on me."

"Galena's not taking anything well these days.” Emma smiled weakly. “I made a comment about her clothes the other day and she started crying."

"I'm starting to wonder how she could be related to Bren's step family, she‘s too sensitive. We must be making you crazy, Em."

"It's ok.” she hesitated for a second not wanting to have to break her news to him. “I wouldn't want anything to happen to my family that I didn't know about or have a chance to help with. Jess, I'm going to be straight with you. I really can't do much more to help you. My powers have their limits, and I've reached them."

"It's ok, Em.” He was partially relieved to think that he could avoid any more pain from his memories. “I'm not sure that I want to remember anything anymore. Right now all I want is a night of good sleep. One where I don't wake up at three in the morning with my head spinning from my dreams."

"I'd love to be able to do that for you, but I can't help you there either.” she gently kissed his cheek. “I've got to go fix dinner, but if you need anything let me know."

"Thanks, Em. You want me to help you?"

"No, I've got it covered. I think Bren might be up to a game of one on one if your interested in that though."

"I may go find him then. I'll see you at dinner.

"Alright, and Jess, give her some time. She may come back to you on her own."

Emma walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen. Jesse closed out the programs that he had opened and then went to look for Brennan.

A few hours later right before dinner.

Emma put the chicken and rice on the table as Shalimar filled six glasses with ice.

"Hey, guys, Adam is skipping dinner tonight. He says that he's got some work to do before he goes to that conference it Atlanta next week." Brennan said as he took his seat.

"In Atlanta? I wonder what reason he's got for going there?" Shalimar said with a slight smile.

"You don't think he's going there just to see his raven haired beauty, do you?" Brennan joked.

"He isn't too good at keeping it a secret that he likes Shyla." Emma laughed.

"Let's just hope that they don't put us through the emotional hell another couple I can think of has." Shalimar said. She emptied one glass of ice and placed the glass back in the cabinet.

"Shal, they both have problems to work through." Brennan said in defense of his cousin and friend.

"Jesse has got her so worked up that she was talking about going underground." Shalimar responded.

"Well my precious cousin hasn't been the nicest thing in the world to Jess. She said that all he wants is a woman who would act as his shrink and then get in bed with him."

"Guys, they just need some time. Jesse isn't to blame for how Galena feels right now, and she is only acting like this because she is scared. Give them sometime and it will all be fine." Emma spoke up. She found it mildly amusing that Shalimar was taking Galena’s side while Brennan took Jesse’s side; but did not want a fight to break out.

"What, you can tell the future now?" Shalimar teased.

"No, but we're talking about Jesse and Galena. They don't have nearly the insane relationship that you two did. Give them awhile and see what happens. If worst comes to worst we can send them on vacation and hope that things are better when they come back."

"If you sent the two of them off together they'd kill each other." Brennan laughed.

"Who'd kill each other?" Galena asked as she stepped into the kitchen.

"We were just talking, Galena." Brennan answered.

"OK. So I guess we have to wait on Adam and Jesse before we get to eat."

"Only Jess. Adam is working through dinner tonight." Shalimar replied.

"He's got a good reason." Jesse said as he walked into the room. "Shyla will be impressed if he has finished that project she helped him start." He smiled with amusement.

"Yeah, she would be. Do you think they will ever get together?" Galena asked.

"Maybe they will, but I don't know. Shyla is so far away and so busy." Shalimar sighed. “Not to mention Adam tries to deny how he feels.”

"Well, if Adam gets married before I do I'm going to stop dating entirely." Jesse said. He flopped down in his char and took a drink from the glass of tea Shalimar gave him. “I am ready to get out of the dating game anyway.”

"I plan on looking for the guy I am supposed to marry until I find him." Emma said

"Bren and I are lucky to have each other. Marriage it absolute heaven." Shalimar put in and quickly kissed Brennan.

"I think I'd rather not bother with marriage.” Galena looked away from her cousin and his wife. “Too much pain if things don't work out." Galena said.

"So even if Mr. Right came along you'd tell him no?" Emma asked.

"I guess." Galena answered with a sigh.

"If I find a woman that I could settle down with I plan on marrying her and I'd never let her get away." Jesse said.

Emma smiled as she began to pass around the platters of food. The dinner conversation focused on the kind of future they wished they could have, and it was one of those rare times where they all let their walls down and shared their deepest dreams and deepest fears.

For a minute Adam took a break and headed to the kitchen to grab something to eat. When he say how relaxed every one was he stopped and watched them eat and talk. He was relieved to see that for once everyone was getting along. He smiled and then went back into his lab to work.