Yesterday

By: Daphni

Mandatory disclaimer: I don’t own DragonBall Z. That honor goes to someone else.

Author’s note: This is my first fanfic. It is a behind the scenes type story. The idea came from the story “The Real Story of Bulma Briefs” by Kamejen. Please read that first. It can be found at My Shrine for Bulma Briefs. Please review and let me know what you think.

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Warning: A few strong words and adult subject matter, no lemon. I used the American dub versions of the names. Possible out of characterness and shameless self-insertion. ^_~

Setting: This story takes place after the Freeza Saga and before the Garlic Jr. Saga. In a guest room of Bulma’s house our hero’s have gathered. Daphni, a demi-dragon extra from another animated series, has asked if she could write down the events she witnessed the previous day. The DBZ crew has agreed and is gathered around to hear her retelling of the tale. (Most were unconscious and don’t know what happened.) She was typing the story into her laptop while speaking. What they do not know is that she has set up a camera to record their reactions so she can ‘edit’ the tale for her own amusement. Most of Daphni’s ‘edits’ will be added as (this). Some were added in while she was typing but are still marked as (this.) Thank you.

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    Freeza was destroyed and so was Namek. Everyone had been wished back with the dragonballs except Goku. The Namekians had moved to their new home and Vegita had left to hunt down Goku. The world was in a temporary time of peace. Since there no longer seemed to be a reason to train nonstop or battle, Bulma had decided to work on some of her many inventions.

    We find Bulma in her lab drawing up preliminary blueprints for a time machine. But something is wrong, and she doesn’t seem to be able to concentrate. Finally, she crumbles the sketch and tosses it in the general direction of the wastebasket. She doesn’t pay attention and it misses, rolling behind a shelf where it wouldn’t be discovered again for years.

   

    Bulma is for some reason unaccountably angry and feeling violent. She suddenly wants to pick a fight and the first person that springs to mind is her on and off again boyfriend, Yamcha. She pauses a moment to feel out his ki. Upon finding it, she opens a nearby window and fly off for battle.

    After awhile, she notices that he is not alone. She concentrates a moment to find out who is with him. An instant later and she has her answer and it makes her even more pissed. With Yamcha she sensed Krillin, Tien, and Chautzu. A short distance from their location she could feel Piccolo’s ki as well.

    That creep! She thinks as she increases her speed. They’re probably showing Krillin the new techniques they learned at King Kai’s. Those jerks! They didn’t even think to invite me! First I’m left out of Kami’s training and now King Kai’s. How dare they!

    Bulma is not in the least bit mollified by the fact the Gohan’s ki is not present. Her anger is rapidly turning to fury and she doesn’t even how irrational her emotion is.

    Bulma is now in sight of them. She sees Yamcha sparring with Krillin, while Tein and Chautzu watched and shouted encouragement. Piccolo was standing off to the side, as though he were completely bored and wanted to be anywhere else. In other words he was being his usual sexy unattainable self.

    (“Do you mind?” Piccolo growled, glaring at the demi-dragon.

    “Gomen nasai, Piccolo-san.” Daphni answered, sporting the classic sweat-drop. “But you must realize by now, that the fact that you are an asexual makes nearly every female around practically drool at the thought of you.” She batted her eyes and smiled shyly at him.

    Piccolo scowled but didn’t manage to look entirely displeased. “Whatever, just get on with your dumb story, baka.”

    Daphni breathed a sigh of relief and continued the story.)

    Bulma saw no point in trying to conceal her approach. She hadn’t even bothered to try and hide her ki as she approached. Therefore both Krillin and Yamcha paused to greet her. She landed.

    “Hey, Bulma! How’s are –“ Krillin stopped as soon as he saw the look on her face. He even backed up a few steps. He hated to admit it, but he had even been afraid of her before he had found out that she could fight.

    Yamcha was not so lucky. He failed to notice the expression and continued on blithely unaware. “Hey, babe, how’s it goin’? I would have called to invite you, but you probably would have just been-“ Yamcha’s voice was abruptly cut off. He hadn’t even seen the fist shoot out. Before he knew that he had even been hit, he was picking himself up from thirty feet away. Yamcha sat up rubbing his jaw.

    “Ow! What was that for? What’s wrong with you, Bulma?” She had never hit him that hard before. Ever!

    “You inconsiderate slob!” Bulma shouted. She then started to rant and rave about every tiny thing since the moment they met. She was just working up to full wind, when she felt the need to punctuate everything with blows and ki blasts.  

    Piccolo finally deigned to notice and was nearly overwhelmed with laughter.

    Yamcha was darting and dodging in a futile attempt to defend himself. He suddenly tripped and went sprawling face first. Bulma pounced on the opportunity and shot of a ki blast that left the warrior unconscious.

    Tein, Krillin and Chautzu had watched the whole thing in a state of shock. However, when it became apparent that Bulma was not yet finished, they decided to stop her.

    As soon as they touched her, Bulma attacked. Krillin went head over heels and was introduced to a boulder. The boulder, apparently, wasn’t in a cordial mood and promptly knocked Krillin out.

    (“That seems to happen to you a lot.” The demi-dragon said thoughtfully.

    “Tell me about it,” was Krillin’s mournful reply.)

    Poor Chautzu went flying. When he regained control, he decided to go to Kami’s Lookout. Chautzu flew off at top speed, hoping to discover what was wrong with Bulma.

    Tein had wisely prepared for such a move and was only pushed back a few feet.

    (“There. Are you happy? I didn’t tell anyone what really happened to you.”

    “Very,” said Tein. “I would be royally embarrassed if anyone found out.”

    “Awww, come on Ten-chan. It wasn’t that bad.”

    “WHAT!! Tein roared. “I landed with my head on Yamcha’s ass and you say: ‘It wasn’t that bad’?” His face had now turned red.

    “Well, the cushioning did help to keep you conscious.” Daphni replied with a mischievous smirk as she continued to type.

    Krillin looked over her shoulder at the screen and ran out of the room laughing.

    “What is he laughing about?” Tein demanded.

    Daphni merely looked at him with innocent astonishment and continued with the tale.)

    Tein used his split form and attempted to ‘calm’ her down. But no matter how fast he moved, she was one step ahead and before long he was forced back into one. A huge Kamehameha soon overwhelmed him. Tein was thrown for a loop and crashed into the just revived Krillin and both were knocked unconscious.

    Bulma stood there feeling power course through her body. She was about to give voice to the typical bad guy laugh when she heard something that made her rage soar.

    Piccolo had finally lost control and was roaring with laughter! I can’t believe it! He thought. The Earth’s mightiest defenders defeated by one woman!!! Ha was laughing so hard he thought his sides were going to split.

    Bulma was furious. How dare he!!!! Then she shouted at him, “What the hell are you laughing at you overgrown slug?!?!”

    The laughing ceased abruptly. Piccolo removed his turban and cape, all the while thinking, this will probably be the only decent fight I get until Goku returns. He walked toward Bulma and gave her a wicked half smile.

    That was all the challenge needed. They simultaneously took to the air, exchanging fast and furious blows. Bulma felt that this was finally someone worthy of her attention, while Piccolo was trying to figure out how she had become so damned strong.

    Piccolo finally got an uppercut past her defenses and Bulma was thrown up and back the length of a football field. She raced back toward him with enough speed to cause a sonic boom. Just before she reached him she flickered out. Reappearing behind him, Bulma delivered a roundhouse kick to the back of Piccolo’s head. From there the battle escalated to ki blasts, eye lasers and Kamehamehas.

    Bulma was picking herself up after dodging Piccolo’s Ma Kankou Sappou {how is that spelled anyway? I know I am using the American version everywhere else, but I think Special Beam Cannon sounds dumb. My fic, my rules.} when she noticed a broken fingernail on her left hand. Her mind went blank. Bulma’s rage hit an unprecedented peak as she drew her trump card. With a barely audible “Rapid Teleport,” her world went blue as time stopped. Bulma made quick work of him and returned to real time so she could watch as he hit the ground. Piccolo did not get up.

    (“Wait a minute!” complained Chautzu. “How come you’re not going to tell us just what Bulma did to Piccolo?”

    Daphni’s tan skin went nearly as green as Piccolo’s. Her face took on a sick cast. She looked around and saw the mixed looks of embarrassment, amusement, confusion, and curiosity that covered everyone’s faces. Krillin had regained his composure and was also in the room. Finally she replied. “Well,” she began, sporting the classic sweat-drop. “Let’s just say that if I had to relive the memory and tell you guys, I would never be able to ‘drool’ over Piccolo again.”

    At that, Piccolo turned a pale green color and Bulma prudently left the room.)

    Meanwhile, Chautzu had just arrived at Kami’s Lookout only to find Kami and Mr. Popo in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. It was so bad they were unable to answer any of his questions. Kami just barely managed to hand Chautzu a half-dozen senzu beans before collapsing in hysterics. Thus, a very confused Chautzu returned to the scene of Bulma’s crime. Bulma was gone and all of the Z warriors were out for the count. And in the case of a certain Namek, painfully mangled.

   Bulma returned home in a state of bliss. She grabbed a glass of milk and a chocolate bar. She went to bed in perfect peace. The next morning, upon awakening, Bulma couldn’t quite believe what she had done the previous day. As she made her way to the bathroom for her morning shower she thought. What in the world came over me? How did I get so much power? And why was I so bitchy? She made it to the bathroom and while taking off her clothes she noticed a dime-sized red dot on her underwear. “Oh……..!”

    (“WHAT!!!” It seemed everyone exploded at the same time.

    “You mean that’s what was wrong?” Yamcha laughed.

    “I can’t believe it!” Tein exclaimed.

    “What is that supposed to mean?” A confused Chautzu and Piccolo asked.

    “I can’t believe you told!” Bulma had returned to the room and was now pink faced.

    Krillin can’t stop laughing but manages to say: “Just wait everyone! From now on we had better keep track and disappear once a month!”

    “I thought you were supposed to be a monk! You’ve been hanging around Master Roshi and Oolong too long!” Screeched a now red-faced Bulma.

    No one seemed to notice the devilish grin on Daphni’s face.

    Piccolo approached Bulma and with a straight face asked if she would be his sparring partner during the time of the month when everyone else was planning to avoid her. Bulma went even redder, if possible, and fled the room at light speed. {Well duh, being a Namek he shouldn’t know, bakas.}

    “I’ve finished writing it, if anyone wants to look it over.” Daphni said. She slipped a hard copy she had just made into her pocket.

    Everyone crowded around and she quietly started to tiptoe in an attempt to sneak out of the room. After a few feet, she heard what she had been waiting for:

    “WHAT THE HELL!! DAPHNI!!”

    Grinning madly and breaking into a run faster than Bulma’s, Daphni raced from the entire DBZ series with an enraged Tein hot on her heels.)

The End.

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