Hey, I'm back. Roxas said he was filling in for me while I was sleepin in. Gotta love the kid. Anyways, it's not gonna be just me here, I have a special guest. "Hi! Roxas here!" He was too scared to go back to his room because: 1, it's dark in there and 2, Zexion was about to draw blood so he came into my room screaming. "Can't help it that he's always after my neck" Meh, crap happens.

After going through 12 of the members, you should know who's coming up next. "He's the weirdest and scariest of all of us" Got that right. Mr. Paranoia himself, Xemnas, number 1. Give it up for Creeper McCreeperson!

You'd think that since he controls the element of nothing, you'd think there's nothing wrong with him. Nope! Sure, he's number one- "In his dreams!" Exactly, but with a name like Xemans, you gotta be kiddin me. If you rearrange the letters in his name, it spells 'Mansex' in plain clear letters. "Did he even know that his name could make that?" Apparently not, otherwise, he wouldn't have taken Ansem's name. "Idiot" His problem, not ours. "Sucks for him" Okay, this guy has a list of problems that are either hilarious or just plain wrong beyond reason, and we have to deal with them. So sit back, "Relax" and enjoy, "The grand finale!"

Problemo numero uno, he's claustrophobic, pretty much afraid of enclosed spaces. "At first, Lexaeus thought it meant we was afraid of Santa Claus, but the idiot found out the real meaning after a certain event" Time to kick it.

It was another one of our "family days" together. "We had a chart for taking turns to choose a place to go for the week and it was my turn" Roxas soxas here chose the best place we could go, Disney World. Not too far, just a short little drive and we'd be there. We were gonna stay at a resort so we packed our things into a school bus. "That's right, since there were so many of us, we had to buy a bus for all of us to fit in" It was soooo embarrassing, thought I might've done a suicide before we even got there, but I held on. Only one thing Xemnas needed to do and we'd be on the road. "Unfortunately, that little problem, turned huge..."

Xemnas had to move his damn car out of the way! So he walks out of the bus and over to his Mia and gets in, but that's where the bad things started to happen. About five minutes after he got in, I jump out and go over to see what the problem is. "Don't you know how to drive anymore?" I walked over. He rolled down the window and looked up at me like something was about to kill him.

"Problem?" I ask. He turns back to the steering wheel and shakes his head. "So small..." he whispers. "What?" I ask. "So tight" he started to hug his arms. "You okay?" I ask. "Good Lord it's so small in here" he looks around. Something's definitely screwed with this guy was all I could think about. "I can't breathe..." he starts to hold his throat and starts to breathe fast. "Get out of the car" I said. He started to bang on the steering wheel when the air bag just happened to burst into his face. Automatically after that, he starts to scream and cry. I rolled my eyes. Calmly, I open the door and yank the guy out to the ground.

He lays there for a second and then gets back up to be all normal again. "Get your ass into the bus and sit waaaay in the back. Got it memorized?" I pointed to the bus. No wonder he never goes out to get anything or get groceries, guess that's why Saix was doing all those things. “And no wonder our castle’s so big” In the end I ended up driving us to the resort. "We were lucky to get there alive. Axel hasn't driven for a while" I can't even remember how long I've been a Nobody, it sucks.

Speaking of Nobody..."Oh, I know what you're thinking" Right. Xemnas's next problem, he's ligyrophobic "Afraid of unexpected or loud sounds" Like Marluxia when he's mowing the lawn.

Out of complete boredom, Roxas poxas, Demyx, and me made a band called the Nobodies. "Pretty obvious? We're thinking about changing it to the Somebodies because 'Nobodies' shouldn't apply to us" The Nobodies are the weirdo things we summon and we shouldn't be called the same.

So anyways, we're tuning up in Demyx's room. I was on electric guitar, Roxas on drums, and if you can guess it, Demyx was on bass. "He switches from bass to sitar and back whenever he feels like it" Guy's got a passion for strings. Anyways, we were gonna start a song we made called Star Struck. "At first, it's soft, but then it bursts into loudness as a surprise" Probably loud enough to wake the dead.

So we play a few low notes for the opening and start to get as soft as we can. Somebody knocks on the door. "Come in" Demyx calls. "Demyx, I found a new type attack you could use" Xemnas says as he walks in looking at a clip board. "But that's when we had to play the 'Blast' as we called it" As soon as he heard it, he covered his ears and ran out screaming. We just stopped and stood there. "What did he say I needed?" Demyx asked. We all shrugged and then got back to playing.

"Man, for a guy his age, he's a real pansy" Never new the guy could be so wimpy. Xemnas is also mottephobic and here's what it is. Just another "ordinary" day for Xemnas. He gets up and walks out to the back of the castle. "For some reason, Xemnas likes the outdoors" Maybe it's because Saix is always out there or something...Anyways, Marluxia walks out with a watering can and over to his garden where Xemnas is a few feet away from. Unexpectively, while Marluixa is watering his pansy garden "Some bees just blast out of his garden and straight into his face" Lots of ointment to put on his lobster colored body, but he's not important...

Xemnas just watches and doesn't even bother to help the guy. "But then things changed when he looked back over to the flowers..." Right there in plain sight was a huge, "Evil" blue, "butterfly!" And just like that, Mr. Pansy Ass takes off running. Can you believe this guy's our leader? "It's a sad sad world we live in" A sad sad person we follow.

Also, he ain't the best in sports either. "No comment, it's shameful" Don't put yourself up for it, little buddy. Another one of our stupid "family times" we needed to get more athletic. "That's basically the only fun time we get, abusing each other with balls and rackets" At least it's fun. Demyx said we should play baseball, which wasn't a bad idea until Xemnas was up to bat.

"I don't get it! All I did was just throw him a curve ball and he just stands there and lets it hit him" He was distracted from what I saw. "But the next time I threw it, he hits it straight into my arm" I actually thought that was pretty good, but then he just started abusing Roxas like there was no tomorrow. "I had a black eye, bruised arm, and it hurt every time I tried to eat or use the bathroom" He was bed ridden for weeks.

"So then, Lexaeus decided we should play football" Of course he would make the suggestion, he was smiling and before we started playing, I saw him take some drugs! "Maybe the more he takes, the quieter he'll get when he's sleeping" If that doesn't work, I'll kill him myself. So what happened was, Larxene "Yes, she was playing cause she wanted to beat us down" passed the ball to Xemnas. At first he just stands there and looks at it as if it was a jack-in-the-box "Speaking of jack..." Patience my lil' spikey haired friend. So he sees that almost everybody's charging at him and actually runs towards the goal.

"But then he runs past it and doesn't come back" We found him a little later and he said it was his now. "That was my favorite ball" It's okay, I'll get you a new one. Oh yeah, and about that jack thing, we pulled some pranks on Xemnas for the fun of it.

"See, we left jack-in-the-box at his door, knocked on the door, and then ran behind the nearby corner. He picked it up and started to turn the handle" But the music stopped right at the finale. "He started to shake it, put his ear to the side, and then banged on it" Don't think the jack didn't come out, it did. "Boxing glove on a spring hit him right in the face!" We couldn't help but crack up at the sight. "But then he saw us and basically grounded us for several weeks" But still, it was worth it.

Another prank we pulled was this. We put a toy snake in the garden hose. Demyx hid in the bush in the front yard with the hose and stayed there until Xemnas walked by. When he finally did walk up to the porch, Demyx threw the snake out and wiggled it around. "And just like that, the guy falls backwards and then gets up, speeding off" Hilarious! "And I got it all on tape" We gotta watch that sometime! Afterwards, he found out it was us and this time, no desert or sleeping in a bed for a week.

Back to the problems, he also is horrible with emotion. "Yeah, I mean, just because we lost our hearts, doesn't mean we don't have emotions" He's supposed to know that. Usually if somebody gets in trouble for doing some bad to another member, he beats them down with anything he can get his hands on. "Us doing bad things? What about him and Saix?" Really. I was walking by his room, saw a crack in the door, and looked in. And what did I see? Xemnas is watching T.V., while petting Saix, who's laying beside him. "You don't think that they're..." Got to be. It's in his name, and there's nobody else to fall in love with.

About the emotion thing too, he's not good with handling boredom. "I heard banging from my room one time, so I went to his room to find out what the deal was. When I get there, I see him on the floor next to his bed, with a hammer in his hand. So I ask 'What're you doing?' and he says 'Knocking holes in the wall' and keeps doing it" Still, that does sound like a good idea.

Then there’s his problem with thinking that he’s daring. “We told him we wasn’t, and he started to make us do all these hard training like jumping off the castle” swimming with sharks “running around with knives in the dark” running in the rain “and finally, taking food away for a week.” Thought we were gonna die after all that. “Yeah, and to prove that could be just as daring as us, he spray painted a picture of him on the side of the castle, giving a thumbs up with the writing ‘King of the Castle’ on the side” I thought that was just stupid, but he does own the place.

Oddly enough, all this stuff doesn’t apply to him when it comes to fighting. “When it’s training day, he just rips up the battlefield” Leaving at least five of us in severe pain and/or in a coma like state. “And yet, we manage to survive him each time” Maybe it’s because he goes his type of easy on us? “Or he’s just letting us live so he can try and kill us next time?” Who knows…Well, at least we’re not like the Nobodies we control. They’re just plain stupid. “Got that right”

At least we try to make the best of it all. We just try to survive whatever idiotic and annoying thing that comes our way. In battle we just basically put our “hearts” into it. Isn’t that right Rox-huh? Hmph, the little punk fell asleep. Oh, well. Night Roxas.