Author: DW-Chaos WolfEdge PM
Swift finally confronts his fear of clown's, except with machine guns. The first of the P. Vacation series! Warning: Clown carnage in chapter 2. Big secret in Chapter 3! Kinda.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,906 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 04-04-09 - Published: 09-23-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3166862
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Here's the first of the P. Vacation series! Swift finally comfronts his fear of clowns after a series of crazy events. Warning: This may get a little crazy. While writting it, I drank six cans of Root Beer!
It was a close to normal day at Viridian Forest. The Caterpie were plotting world domination, the Pidgey were having they're normal wild parties at the crack of dawn, Tracey was getting his daily torture by Beedrill, and Spearow was getting Swift pissed off with his early morning crowing. Yep, just another normal day in Viridian Forest.
After Swift gave Spearow his daily zapping, he headed towards home expecting to be greeted by the Eevee to which he thought was beautiful. He opened the door only to find something one-hundred times worse.
"Hey Swift dude!" Greeted Psy happily as Swift noticed him and Rebel decided to pay a visit. Rebel was strangely standing in front of the Swift and Nia's brand new wide screen TV. Rebel and Psy had placed a blanket over it, and Rebel had one heck of a nervous look on his face.
"Uh, hey dude! How about we go...um, fishing!" Psy suggested quickly as he ushered Swift to the door.
"Where's Nia? And why are you two here so early?" A very confused Swift asked.
"Um..." Psy stammered.
"She went shopping!" Rebel shouted quickly.
"Yeah, she went shopping dude!" Psy agreed just as quick. "Now let's get you as far away from your new TV as possible." He blurted quickly and continued pushing Swift towards the door but stopped once he saw a few sparks fly.
Psy gulped and started to sweat.
"Guys...what happened to my new TV...?" He asked in a menacing tone and turned around to cast them both a death glare.
"N-Nothing! What makes you say that?" Rebel relpied nervously as he inched away from the TV towards the closest window.
Swift dashed by Psy ignoring his repeated pleas to let them live. He pulled of the blanket to reveal that the brand new wide screen TV had an enormous crack all through it and what appeared to be a hockey puck in the center. A look of horror ran across Swift's face as stared wide eyed at his destroyed TV set.
"Cheese it!" Rebel shouted then jumped through the window he had made his way to. Psy made a few worried cries and ran out the door.
Swift exploded. Not literally but mentally.
A few moments later, Rebel and Psy were making a mad dash out of the forest. They would have enjoyed the adrenaline rush of the chase, but fear easily overpowered that. Swift knew Thunder, and the small yellow mouse wasn't to far behind. A mad, murderous look in his eyes as he chased them on all fours through the forest.
Rebel and Psy continued running for they're lives as they passed a group of peculiar looking caterpie. The caterpie made an attempt to stop them but were easily pushed to the side or squashed.
"World Domination!" One of the caterpie shouted to them as Rebel and Psy faded from view. Seconds later, Swift smashed straight through all of them as if they were bowling pins, and they were all tossed into the air as Swift continued the chase.
It didn't take long before Swift started to close in on them in no time flat, since he is a pikachu and all. Rebel looked behind him and gazed in horror as the homicidal mouse closing in on them in on them.
"Sorry Psy, your on your own!" Rebel said and dropped to all fours to run at his fastest, leaving Psy in his dust.
"Wait! Rebel, help! He'll kill me!" Psy shouted in a futile attempt to get Rebel to slow down, before he was tackled to the ground by a yellow ball of raging fur. Swift gave an evil grin before sparks started to fly.
Rebel kept running as fast as he could. He ran a good distance before he heard a loud explosion come from behind. He knew instantly Swift had let loose the wrath of his Thunder attack upon Psy. The cat pokemon started to regret leaving Psy alone but decided it was better for his health to keep running.
A few seconds later, Swift had returned home with a miserable expression on his face. There was a Caterpie on his tail shouting "World Domination," but Swift was to tired and depressed to get it off. He opened the door and basically threw himself on the sofa, crushing the Caterpie on his tail. He sat there for a good while, mourning the loss of his brand new TV until Nia came out of the bedroom.
"Good morning Swift." She said with a yawn and started to stretch a little.
Swift replied with a groan instead of a good morning.
"Uh, Swift? Are you okay?" She asked.
He simply pointed to the TV as an answer. Nia turned around and gasped in shock. She was at a loss for words before something finally slipped out. "What the heck just happened?"
He let out another groan.
"Your going to have to talk sooner or later..."
He decided to mumble something this time.
After they're conversation, the doorbell rang.
"Don't worry, I'll get it." Swift said then finally got up from sofa and headed towards the door.
"Mailman!" A guy in blue shouted and handed Swift a package.
"Oh, thanks." He said and accepted the package from the mailman. He strained to keep hold off the package since it was just as big as he was.
The mailman held out his hand and cleared his throat.
"Are you nuts? I don't tip mailmen!" He shouted then slammed the door. Afterwards, he carried the package in to show Nia.
"And that is...?" She asked while pointing to the box.
"No clue. The mailman wanted a tip for bringing it here."
Nia made a puzzled look. "Oookay...anyway, what is it?"
"Don't know.." He said while opening the package. "It may be from - AHH!" Just as he was about to finish his sentence, he screamed after a clown head attached to a spring with a slightly crazed and evil look, pale face, red hair and an even brighter red nose, popped out of the package. Which scared Swift to no end. He fell backwards and fainted.
Nia knew Swift wouldn't wake up anytime soon, so she went over and checked a tag that was on the package, something Swift missed completely. "Thank you for ordering the Evil Jack-in-the-box surprise kit. Have a nice day.." it read. Nia sighed after reading the last part of it. "From: Clowns inc. To: Rebel Meowzaki..." She threw the tag aside and attempted wake up the unconscious yellow mouse on the floor.
"It's just a clown!"
Nia started smacking him in the face.
Still no response.
Nia started to get very irritated before remembering the one thing that could wake him up, no matter what. "Ketchup."
"Ketchup! Where?" He shouted suddenly after finally waking up.
"I knew that would work!" Nia said triumphantly.
Swift looked confused before remembering that last thing he saw was that clown thing before he fainted. "Why is that thing -"
"Rebel sent it." She finished before he could.
Swift's fur changed from it's normal dark shade of yellow, to very bright red. Nia put on earmuffs to block out the barrage of bad words Swift shouted.
He was breathing heavily after he finished, he managed to curse for five minutes straight. Nia removed the earmuff's after she was sure he was done.
"Swift, you've really got to stop doing that." Nia said.
Nia noticed a mad expression of insanity in Swift's eye's. This had only happened once before; there's a reason that volcano wiped out Cinnabar in Gold and Silver. "Uh-oh..."
"I'm going out for a while." Swift said as he headed towards the door, his anger suddenly vanished.
"No killing our friends Swift!" She called.
Two hours later, Swift was at Saffron City. He paid the taxi driver and got out at a big building that had two guards posted in front.
"Saffron City's Building of Weaponry.." Swift read the sign. There was a picture of Swift with a red x on it neear the building. He had been banned from there ever since he "borrowed" ten pounds of dynamite and "accidently" totaled Cinnabar.
"I knew you'd come back." A old, bald man said as he stared angrily at Swift.
"Aw crap...hey Blaine..." He said nervously with an even more nervous smile.
"Don't 'hey Blaine' me! Thanks to you, I'm homeless! I live in a friggin' island now!" He accused and pulled out a handgun.
Swift gulped, then thought of something quick. "Um, that's a cave you live in. Anyway, Friggin'? Have you been watching Austin Powers lately?"
The ammunition to Blaine's handgun clicked.
"Uh...Hey look! A book of riddles is right behind you!" Swift shouted.
"Riddles?" Blaine turned around.
Swift ran into the building as fast as he could, leaving Blaine searching for the riddle book. The guards for some reason let him into the building without any problems. When Swift got into the building, he saw the most guns he had ever seen in one room before in his entire life.
"Wow...this is the most guns I've ever seen in one room before in my entire life..."
"I just said that."
"What the? Who are you?"
"I'm the narrator, Chaos knux."
"What the? What's a narrator doing here?"
"Basically, this chapter's coming to an end and I need to fill in some space."
"Oookay...hey, are you my conscious? And are you saying that I shouldn't kill Rebel and Psy but instead take my anger out on the clowns?"
"Okay, I'll do it! Thanks Chaos Knux!"
"Uh...no problem. Listen I gotta go so, be safe by not drinking and driving okay? Later."
"Hey how can I tell you left?" Swift asked but there was no response. "Hmm...well if my conscious says so..."
Seconds later, Swift loaded up on a three machine guns, a bazooka, eight hand grenades, a rifle, three hand guns, and a years supply of bullets. He topped it all off by putting that black stuff on his cheeks. But instead of putting the stuff across his cheeks, he just filled in the red circles on his cheeks.
An hour later, It was dark out at somewhere around eight O clock. Swift was on top of the giant Sliph co. Office building, fully loaded with a machine gun with magazine clips, and the other stuff he had taken behind him. He loaded up the machine gun and walked to the edge of the building, black stuff still covering the red on his cheeks.
"Clowns, Thy name is Swift." He said then cocked the machine gun.
Some of that at the end was a rewrite from the beginning intro to the game: Shadow the Hedgehog. The next chapter will finish this story, but there will be a lot more than where this came from! Please review!