Author's Note: Well, this turned into a parody. This chapter is dedicated to the many people who determinedly reviewed my first chapter; I never would have stuck with it otherwise! I’ll re-write the first chapter someday soon, I promise!

Wishful Thinking

Chapter Two: The Fun Really Starts

Jennifer glanced around the relatively crowded street nervously; half-amazed by the strange look of it all, and half-scared of it all.

What if I never get back home? She thought, fighting back tears. Jennifer was normally a very emotional person to begin with, but this…this was definitely not the sort of situation she could handle.

Looking back, she found herself looking into the lifeless gold eyes of Edward Elric, one of her favourite fictional characters which by all means should not have been trailing behind her like a ghost. She’d put up his hood and grabbed his left sleeve, opting to pull him along.

The teenage girl had somehow managing to sneak through the front doors of the military barracks, entirely thanks to Ed. Her first look at central had left her incurably homesick, after seeing the city was devoid of anything remotely familiar. No traffic choked streets, no advertisements, no mind-boggling tall buildings made out of steel or glass…any other time she would’ve been happy about the change of scenery, but that time was not now.

But as she walked along, she could only continue to tell herself to wait until later to collapse. Doing that in front of a total stranger, aka Edward Elric, was definitely not a pleasant thought; doing it in the middle of public, even on a relatively empty street…that was even worse. Being the shy and somewhat socially awkward girl she was, Jennifer had almost subconsciously settled for simply ignoring him. It was cruel, and she even distantly knew that, but Jennifer didn’t have any other solution to avoid a nervous breakdown. It was simply easier this way.

The state alchemist in question, however, was in no shape to protest. After accidentally bumping into a few of her memories and private thoughts, he had secluded himself in a lonely darkened corner of her mind, so to speak. There was no way to avoid the memories; every time he turned around, he’d find himself reminiscing on a past that was never his. Out of sheer desperation he’d settled for avoiding as many as he could, instead of all of them. He didn’t bother to comment on anything, wrapped up in his own panic and problems.

Of course, considering how inconvenient it would be, it was obvious something was about to happen. Rarely did a protagonist in any story, fictional or otherwise, have a decent breather before plunging back into the fray. This was very true for Jennifer; despite not even currently belonging in this universe, she was the protagonist…or at least, something similar…

“could you help me?”asked when she saw a boy with a red cloak with a flamel cross on it.

Jennifer yelped, quickly slapping her hands over her ears and ducked her head. And then, before her very eyes, the pavement started to…almost shift. Then just as suddenly, everything compressed, and she couldn’t breathe her lungs were on fire-

Then the world snapped back into place, and everything was as it had been before.

“Oh…God…” Jennifer rasped, her head feeling like it was about to split in two. She fell to her knees, cradling her head in her hands.

And then she heard footsteps down the road. Light, though fast-paced, footsteps; as if the person they belonged to was trying to run quietly. Looking up blearily, Jennifer blinked when she found herself face to face with the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

“hi im lookin for the full netal alchemist.” The girl said, her strangely crimson-coloured eyes (the colour ‘red’ felt somehow blasphemous to describe them as, being the vibrant colour that they were) somehow managing to perfectly convey her desperation. Jennifer felt peculiarly drawn to her, like a moth to a flame; it felt as if the average teenage girl had known this girl her whole life, and Jennifer felt strangely compelled to protect, cherish and help her, despite a small voice in the back of her head that warned her against it.

The girl was exotic looking, with long, lovely black hair and flawless dark skin. She had a very noble look about her, with her high cheekbones, her elegant, thin eyebrows and small hands; it was obvious she was Ishbalan, perhaps only a few years younger than Jennifer herself. The crude dress and beaten sandals she bore could not even detract from her appearance. But her eyes were the most magnificent thing of all, the crowning jewel of the girl’s astounding beauty. Plain Jennifer felt very ugly and small in comparison, knowing full well she didn’t deserve to stand in the girl’s presence.

“Oh…umm…” Jennifer stuttered, hardly able to string two words together. The beautiful girl gave her an expectant look. Jennifer then happened to notice that everything around her looked warped and twisted, as if some sort of crazy abstract painter on crack had gotten a hold of it. The street seemed to twist sharply to her left, the perspective on the buildings skewed and making them appear larger.

“I don’t…” Jennifer took a deep breath, and was pleased to discover it did indeed calm her down. “You probably won’t find him.”

“WHAT?!!” Screamed the girl suddenly, making Jennifer wince and clap her hands over her ears again as the world once more started to spin.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jennifer cried, distraught that she had not been able to even help the girl.

The girl gave her a sour look. “you have to take me to him. I’m Artemis Arazania, the Crimson Stone alchemist!!1 i know you think since I’m isballan i got to keeps to my place, but please!!!!!! He’s in grave danger!!”

Distantly, Jennifer wondered how the girl knew she had connections with Ed. She also wondered whether or not Ishbalans had surnames, and why on earth King Bradley would give out such a pretentious second name. But those thoughts were impudent, and she immediately pushed them away.

“Well, he’s sort…” Jennifer bit her lip. Normally, she wouldn’t tell anyone about their ‘accident’ (both out of embarrassment and common sense), but…she instantly knew this girl could make everything better; maybe even send her home.

“Well…there was an accident…and now his soul is…well, he’s stuck in my mind. I know that sounds crazy, but-“

“WHAT?!?!?! TAKE ME TO HIM NOW!!” The girl, Artemis, shouted, and Jennifer fell to her knees, unable to stand the pain.

“I can’t!” Jennifer choked, tears streaming down her face as she began to cry, A wave of dizziness and pain hitting her. Why was she so stupid?! Why was she here, inconveniencing everyone?! Why the hell was she so damn useless?!

Artemis threw herself at the shaking and defenseless Jennifer, pinning to the ground instantly. Pulling out a knife, she held it next to the teenager’s throat.

“I NEED TO HELP HIM! AND I’LL DO WHAT I NEED TO TO DO THAT!” Artemis yelled, though Jennifer could somehow see the glimmer of sadness and apology in those scarlet eyes. She didn’t want to kill Jennifer, but she needed to-

Wait…why hadn’t she noticed that Ed’s soulless body was behind Jennifer? And why on earth would she need to kill the poor teenage girl? She’d only told Artemis the truth…where was the sense in killing her? This thought drifted unbidden through Jennifer’s mind, and she suddenly became very angry.

“GET OFF ME!” She snarled, bringing her legs underneath Artemis and kicking her in the stomach. The girl gave an undignified grunt, pulling back and allowing Jennifer to scramble as far away as she could, bumping against the wall.

“YOU’RE SO BLOODY PERFECT AND SO BLOODY ‘SELF-SACRIFFICING‘ THAT IT MAKES ME SICK! WILL YOU BUGGER OFF ALREADY?!” Jennifer screamed, feeling all the tiny annoyances coalesce into fury. And then, just as suddenly as it had come, the rage was gone, and she had nothing left keeping her up.

“St-stay away…” Jennifer managed, her voice wavering and the tears returning. Wrestling the girl off of her had somehow exhausted the teenager, leaving her shaking with both fear and fatigue. Artemis gave her a murderous look, and started to walk towards her, red eyes shining with hate.

In another place, Ed raised his dull gold eyes, peering off into the darkness. His mind was confused, as he found himself temporarily unable to remember who and where he was. Blinking, the state alchemist suddenly realized he could hear something, though very faintly…

Help me…somebody help me…please…

The call sounded so despondent, and was so sudden, that it caught him off guard. Reeling, it all came back to him, and within moments he was on his feet, frantic and alarmed.

“What’s wrong?!” He received no reply. Brows furrowing, he grit his teeth and started forward into the intimidating darkness before him. His heavy boots made a heavy clunking sound against the stone floor, which echoed on seemingly forever.

A sliver of light caught Ed’s eye, and he noticed a small pool of water in the distance, illuminated by a soft beam of light coming from far up out of his sight. Tentively, he moved forward, before finally breaking into an all out run. Upon reaching the puddle he realized, to his amazement, that he was seeing…but no, it couldn’t be…

He backed away, eyes wide. The puddle was showing him exactly what Jennifer was seeing, as clearly as a window to the outside world; a girl with cruel red eyes, a bleak and empty street...he knew with unsettling certainty that something very strange would happen if he so much as tried to touch it.

“Well, that’s definitely disturbing.” He said sarcastically, dimly wondering when he had started talking to himself. Probably about the same time reality had bodily thrown itself out the window.

Help…

“Hold up, there’s no way I’m trying something like this out.” He snapped, vainly hoping that she could hear him. “I don’t care if-“

HELP ME!

Ed winced, clapping his hands over his ears in a feeble attempt to ward off the pain. It didn’t work. Murmuring words that could never be repeated in polite company, he sat down cross-legged and peered intently into the pool. Well…it certainly looked harmless enough…

Sighing, Ed felt the unexplainable urge to bash his head against something hard, repeatedly. Jennifer was probably in a lot of trouble. She could probably use his help, however small a contribution it would be. After weighing the options for a few minutes, he finally decided the proper course of action

“Alright, fine. I’ll try the stupid pool.” He grumbled, even more irritated when he didn’t even receive a reply.

Then he touched it, and everything went dark...

---

There was a strange feeling around Jennifer’s eyes, and she blinked to try and clear them. When she opened them again however, the strange feeling was still there, only…different. Jennifer felt a tugging sensation and then suddenly…she wasn’t it control.

W-What the hell?!

Ed inhaled sharply, finding himself staring at dusty pavement. Was he back in his body? Trying to stand up, he found his center of gravity off and almost fell over. He had to quickly grab the coarse brick of the nearby building, and nearly did a double take when he realized he had two flesh hands, with no automail in sight.

Examining them, he realized with growing horror which body he was really in. A glance down proved to his great dismay that he was indeed in Jennifer’s body.

“Oh…” He said softly, slapping a hand over his mouth when he realized his voice didn’t sound right.

He swallowed, feeling hot and light-headed. “Oh…no…”

The state alchemist was spared a nervous break down when Artemis lunged at him. Wide-eyed, he dove out of the way, falling over in the process. Slamming against the pavement, he realized the girl was on top of him with her arm around his neck.

“tEll me where he is!”

“Let…go…” He hissed, grabbing Artemis’s arm and managing to flip her off of him. Standing up, he found himself face to face with…himself? Startled, Ed took a step back, which apparently attracted the girl’s attention.

“OMG, your the full metal alchemist! She gasped, staring at what had been his body and then leaping towards him.

What the-?

Just hang on! The alchemist immediately grabbed his arm (or what had been his arm…) and dove to the side, barely managing to avoid the strange girl.

“wait!”

Moving quickly and still keeping a firm grip on his arm, Ed got to his (or rather, Jennifer’s) feet and ran for all he was worth, nearly tripping at least five times along the way. Buildings flew by swiftly, and soon the girl’s cries became fainter and fainter, until he could no longer hear them.

Panting and worn out, he finally started to slow down until he was simply walking. Looking behind, he was relieved to see that, besides also apparently being out of breath, his body was no worse for wear. His shoulders relaxed, and he put a hand on a nearby wall to steady himself. Well, Jennifer’s body, at least.

Why the hell did you do that?!

Too tired to reply, Ed just closed his eyes. All he wanted to do at the moment was get home; he’d fought some pretty tough battles before, but trying to do it in an out-of-balance, unfamiliar body against a rabid girl definitely took the cake as far as he was concerned

As almost an afterthought, he glanced at Jennifer’s hand. The skin was pale and untanned with long fingers…it looked nothing like his. That thought, for some strange reason, almost made him collapse right then and there. This was so wrong and he was a girl and-

GIVE ME MY BODY BACK, DAMMIT!

“All right.” He replied dully, exasperated but reluctant to argue. It was her body; in a way she had a right to be angry.

But before he could think further on it, he felt a tugging sensation and Jennifer roughly tore him out of her mind. Collapsing on the hard pavement in tears, she hugged herself tightly.

“D-don’t you ever d-do that-t again!”

I’m sorry-

“Just shut up!” She nearly screamed, not caring whether or not someone heard her.

…I didn’t like it anymore then you did.

“Get out.” Jennifer choked weakly, her voice wavering. And after a moment of silence, Jennifer realized he had left her alone, at least temporarily.

She felt a strange twinge of guilt, before roughly pushing it away. Taking a deep, calming breath, Jennifer tried her best to get a hold of herself. Once she felt suitably composed, she stood up. Hesitating a short moment, she then grabbed Ed’s hand and continued on down the alleyway they had ended up in.

Jennifer tried her best not to focus on the trash and rats that littered the small alley as she stumbled through it. Thankfully distracted by the growling of her stomach, she wondered how far away she was from the market.

I don’t know. He said quietly.

“Nobody asked you.” She murmured. It still gave Jennifer goosebumps when she thought about him being in her body.

Before, she had reasoned that at least if only she could remain in control all the time, everything would be fine. It was a deluded hope to cling to, but it was the only thing that had kept her from a nervous breakdown. Now that she knew he could take over anytime, Jennifer just couldn’t trust him, no matter that she knew he wouldn’t abuse it. It was the whole principle of the thing- if he wanted to, he could do almost anything he wanted with her body. And in-between feeling guilty for flying off the handle like that; Jennifer was scared out of her wits.

Clenching her hand into a fist, she couldn’t help but feel resentful. The disgust and wrath kept building up within her, until she was shaking from trying to contain it.

I only did that to help you…

All the anger drained out of her, and she leaned heavily against a nearby building before just dissolving into tears.

Thank you…Taken aback, for a moment Ed couldn’t think of anyway to properly reply.

“You’re welcome…I guess…” He said hesitantly.

She closed her eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. The tears slowed gradually, until they stopped all together.

Please…don’t do that again.

Ed’s gaze slid to the floor, a guilty expression on his face. Alright...I’ll ask you first if I ever do.

Jennifer exhaled mightily, and resumed walking. It was almost like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, the fear dissipating only to be replaced by sheer exhaustion. Thank you…

He shrugged, forgetting that she couldn’t see it.

And then Jennifer focused her thoughts on another pressing matter; getting to the market. Apparently her luck had taken a turn for the better, as she eventually found herself looking out into the crowded masses she was used to seeing. A ghost of a smile graced her face, and she moved forward into the crowd.

But Ed knew he had to make a few things clear first. I really won’t take control of your body without your permission again. I don’t like this anymore than you do, but you’re not exactly very good at defending yourself and-

She bristled. Says the person who ran anyway as soon as he could! I’m not weak, she just- She stopped, suddenly realizing something. Wait, how do you know I was thinking that?

Well, I… He stopped, thinking it better not to dig himself any deeper. She probably wouldn’t believe him if Ed told her the truth anyways.

You…went through my memories? If he’d heard her thoughts from before, he would definitely think she was a terrible person. Jennifer felt a stab of guilt, remembering that she hadn’t been doing much to avoid that impression.

I can’t help it! He snapped. It doesn’t matter how careful I am, there’s always something-

Don’t tell me how much you know. She replied quickly, though quietly.

He winced. I’m sorry, I didn’t me to-

“I know. Just…don’t talk about okay?” She finished tiredly. It seemed like things were getting even worse by the second; first she’d simply had another person in her mind, but now…well, it could be worse. Jennifer didn’t have any energy left to even be angry; all she wanted was for everything to return to some semblance of normalcy.

Her stomach growled again miserably, and she started to glance at the passing stalls, hoping to find something both cheap and edible. Not an easy task, even despite the ninety-something years difference between the time she came from and now. Jennifer silently cursed inflation, trying vainly to remember the prices she’d seen listed so long ago in her history books.

She unsurprisingly received a few odd looks, mostly because she was pulling a hooded Ed along by the sleeve. There was no better way she could think of remedying the situation, however, so she was stuck with it.

Eventually, she managed to buy a relatively inexpensive loaf of bread, and found herself wondering which way she had to go to get back to the military barracks. After running into that strange girl, Jennifer had gotten all turned around and wasn’t sure whether she should opt for left or right.

I wonder what that was all about… She mused to herself. Having oddly enough settled into an almost content mood, she felt the familiar flare of irritation when she remembered ‘Artemis’. She had mentioned something about looking for Ed…Jennifer could only wonder why. Maybe she had some connection with him, like one of the many people he’d met during his admittedly eventful military career?...But then, was it possible for people outside of the fictional characters previously attributed to the series to exist, or-

Jennifer sighed. Okay, now I’m just I’m confusing myself.

I’ve never seen her before in my life. Ed blurted out, before realizing that acknowledging that he was listening in on thoughts, whether or not by accident, was not the right thing to do.

Thankfully, however, Jennifer was too distracted to notice. Why on earth did she act so strangely?

Who cares? Ed replied bluntly, having recognized that the thought was purposely directed at him. The sooner we get back to the military barracks, the better.

He was right, that was obvious. Still…she couldn’t help but wonder if there was something else involved. Heck, this was Fullmetal Alchemist; She would be surprised if there wasn’t.

“Well, Well; so Alphonse was right.”

Jennifer blinked, finding herself staring straight at what appeared to be a military uniform. Looking up slightly, she realized she was staring directly at…Roy Mustang?

He smiled. “And here I thought Fullmetal had bad enough luck as it was.”

---

I know this chapter was kind of pointless and extremely short; I’m sorry, I haven’t been having a great week for inspiration, and I was lucky to get this out. I promise next one will be way longer to make up:)