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Author of 29 Stories |
Disclaimer: Do not own Beyblade.
Ratings: Yaoi, language…drugs…alcohol and a warped point of view.
Songs: Placebo - Because I want you
Placebo - A song to say goodbye
A/N: Epilogue is up…hope its keeps with the consistent standard.
Thank you to Winterblazewolf and FireAngelTears. I love you guys.
Infectious: Destiny
Epilogue
Months later…
Tala knew it before he heard it, the cabinet open…the glass touch down on the wooden surface of the bar…then the silence.
In the quiet of the Hiwatari mansion everything was amplified, every little sound, and when you hear a familiar one, it's that much louder.
Tala walked down the elegant stairs quietly, his heading was the living room. He knew Kai was there, and as he entered it was confirmed.
He stood in the doorway and watched Kai knock back a glass of Vodka like it was nothing.
Tala became angry instantly, Kai had lied to him.
Kai had always drank alcohol but just recently it had become more than a social drink. Now Kai would drink until he was paralytic drunk, why? Because Voltaire had died, and now Kai had double the responsibility as well as not a single living relative.
Tala had stopped using drugs, because Kai had pleaded with him, but it was strange how the roles had reversed. Although Tala still did the occasional line of cocaine or took a few pills when he needed it, he had gone past his addiction.
It was because of Kai that he had managed that and so when Kai had started drinking he had done all he could to be there for Kai, and Kai had stopped drinking for a while…now he was doing it again.
Tala walked over to Kai who was at the bar and pouring a fourth shot. Before Kai picked it up Tala pulled it out of his grasp, it spilt significantly as it was recklessly dragged out of the way.
Kai looked at Tala and he smiled, he pulled Tala against him and started kissing Tala's neck,
"I want you…"
Fall into you…
Is all I seem to do…
When I hit the bottle…
Tala pulled back out of Kai's hold,
"I thought you stopped, I thought we agreed that there would be no more drinking and no more drugging. Because it was destroying our relationship Kai, so what is this?"
And I'm afraid to be alone…
Kai rolled his eyes,
"Your over reacting Tala, I'm not even drunk…yet…" he mumbled the last part.
"Kai! Kai!" Tala shouted but he had no words, he didn't even know if it was anger or jealously he was feeling.
Was he angry at Kai for breaking their pledge or was it that he wanted to indulge in his own drug needs.
Kai shook his head,
" I don't need this shit, I had a bad day…"
Tear us in two…
Is all it seems to do…
As the anger fades…
"So you don't care anymore, you don't care any more about what we promised each other? You just decide how important something is to you? Well how important am I to you Kai?" Tala wasn't shouting or crying, but he had pain on his face, emotional.
Kai turned to him,
"Why must it always be about you Tala, everything is YOU! It's not about you…I need it sometimes…" he looked at Tala.
This house is no longer a home…
Don't give up on the dream…
Don't give up on the wanting…
"You need what? A drink?" Tala slid the glass back to Kai, practically nothing inside it, and it spilled even more,
"There you go Kai, have your fucking drink…because you NEED it, you cant go without it!"
Kai was still a moment, his eyes glaring at Tala. Suddenly Kai hit the glass off the bar and it shattered on the floor. The glass shards and fine particles were landing everywhere. Tala winced when Kai hit the glass, he expected it to be aimed at him.
"I have it because it calms me down, I don't have it because I'm ADDICTED to it, or because I like feeling disgusting because of it. It doesn't make me high, it doesn't make me sick, it doesn't make me act like YOU! I have it because I can, not because I rely on it for some kind of fucking security!" he was a mere foot from Tala.
And everything's that's true…
Tala was afraid of being hit but he instinctively lashed out and landed a sound slap on Kai's cheek.
He didn't say anything, his fear was settling in again at the way Kai was looking at him. Kai gripped Tala's shoulders roughly and harshly and slammed him against the bar,
"Tell me its not true, tell me everything I just said to you is a lie, tell me you didn't like yourself when you were high…TELL ME!" he shouted in Tala's face.
Don't give up on the dream…
Tala could feel Kai's fingers gripping him tightly, he knew that would leave bruises.
"Yes…" he mumbled his response and Kai waited a moment and then roughly let go and walked away across the room, pounding his fists into the opposite wall.
"Why, why couldn't it all be as perfect as we wanted it to be…"
Don't give up on the wanting…
Because I want you too…
Because I want you too..
Tala ignored Kai's words as he was contemplating what had been said, everything Kai had said was so true and he couldn't deny it, not to himself. Tala looked at the shattered glass and then at Kai who was leaning against and facing the wall.
Because I want you…
Because I want you..
Tala looked at his arm, the scars were fading, the scars made by that faithful needle that fed him Heroine. He wanted that feeling again, that high feeling without a care in the world. He did need it and he did want it and he did like it…and he could have it.
Stumble into you…
Is all I ever do…
"I'm not perfect Kai and neither are you…" Tala grabbed the Vodka bottle and walked over to Kai,
"Here…if it makes you happy…" he held the bottle out to Kai.
He had his time so why not let Kai have his own.
My memories hazy…
And I'm afraid to be alone…
Kai looked at the bottle in Tala's hand and started laughing,
"You have got some fucking nerve…" he was talking through clenched teeth.
"Its what I have to do…you let me do it…so now I'm returning the favour." Tala said morbidly.
Kai grabbed the bottle and for a moment it looked like he would smash it like he had the glass, but he stopped himself and he instead put the bottle down on the floor.
"Your trying to lay a guilt trip on me…it wont work, your worse than I could ever be."
Tear us in two…
Is all its gonna do…
Tala noted the reference to the present, Kai still saw him as a disgusting junkie.
"I think Kai, that its about time we just give up. I'm not worthy of you…because you're the perfect Kai Hiwatari…and I'm just your lover. I'm full of fault…and I am a junkie…and that's where I belong." He walked away backwards and then turned suddenly and left the room.
As the headache fades…
This house is no longer a home…
Don't give up on the dream…
Don't give up on the wanting…
Kai rushed after Tala,
"What do you mean your still a junkie? You've been clean for months now…" he had followed Tala who was walking to the front door. Tala stopped and looked at Kai, his finger raising to accuse Kai,
"You said it your self you son of a bitch! I am worse than you…even now at this point when I've done all this shit for you…I cleaned up for you! Now you tell me what you really think…this whole thing is sick! We are sick and I have no fucking idea how it lasted this long!" he carried on walking toward the exit.
And everything that's true…
Don't give up on the dream…
Don't give up on the wanting…
Kai grabbed his arm and pulled him back,
"I never said that!"
"Yes you did Kai! You said it to me a few minutes ago. It rolled off your tongue like you've been saying it for years…maybe you have…to yourself…" Tala smiled and it almost looked like when he was in the abbey and he was going crazy. It was a demented smile and Kai felt his blood run cold, that smile was directed at him.
"Well I didn't mean to say it…Tala stop looking at me like that…" he loosened his grip on Tala's arm and his expression became sad.
Because I want you too…
Because I want you too…
Because I want you too…
"It was probably the alcohol…bringing out what's in your subconscious mind…let go of me…" he pulled away from Kai, the rare and scary smile was gone and Tala turned to walk away.
"So your leaving me?" Kai hadn't heard anything about the alcohol, the only thing that registered was that his obsession was walking away…maybe for ever.
Tala stopped but didn't turn around,
"There's nothing else to do Kai…we just cant make this work…"
Because I want you…
Because I want you…
Tala reached the front door and without looking back he walked out and slammed the door. Nothing on him but his few possessions in his jeans pockets and the clothes he wore. He didn't know where he would go or what he would do…or where he would end up…but he felt that this was how it had to be.
Kai stared at the door, he needed to go after Tala but he couldn't bring himself to move. That long agonising feeling of predestination had caught up to him. Was this how it was destined to end. After all of Tala's faults and his self-destructive nature with drugs, was it meant to be Kai who ultimately destroyed Tala's love for him. Was it meant to be him who pushed Tala away and destroyed what they had with each other.
Fall into you…
Is all I ever do…
When I hit the bottle…
Cause I'm afraid to be alone…
Kai felt his body go numb when he thought of never being with Tala again. What had he done…where was Tala going to go…what was Tala going to do…where would he end up, what would Kai do without him.
Tear us in two…
Tear us in two…
Kai shook his head and moved toward the door, he swung it open and he gasped as the pouring rain along with a frozen chill was revealed to him. Rain so heavy that Kai couldn't see passed the front steps. Tala was out there…in the rain…in the water.
Tear us in two…
Because I want you too…
Because I want you too…
Water…Kai was beginning to hate that element, it was what brought Tala too him and now it wanted to take Tala away. Kai blinked taking in the scary mass of relentless rain beating down on the ground…in the dark night. Tala's three favourite things, dark, cold and wet. Kai needed Tala and he had to find him.
He walked out without even a coat or umbrella and he disappeared into the dark, cold and wet.
Because I want you…
Because I want you…
He called Tala's name and it echoed along the empty streets, but it was shortly drowned out by the sound of the rain.
He was out of breath and he was frozen cold from the icy temperature. But he couldn't give up. He needed to find Tala and take him home, love him and be with him forever, just the way they had said it would be.
He walked into the streets that were notoriously known as the best drug area. He stopped at a group of people and asked if anyone had seen Tala, describing him as tall and fair with red hair.
The guys looked a little uncertain of giving out information, until Kai showed a note worth a hundred.
They exchanged a glance and for a moment he thought they would jump him and try and take everything, but instead one man took the money and the other offered information.
"You better hurry, he's down in number 67…he looked about ready to do anything for a fix…and knowing the guys who deal, they'll take what they want…and his a pretty guy." He smiled revealing his rotten teeth.
Kai's heart skipped a beat and he thanked them before rushing away in the direction of the well known 67 district.
He avoided any shady characters and made his way into the large abandoned house that contained homeless junkies and wealthy drug merchants. It was a large house with at least 7 bedrooms and many people living there.
He walked around a while and then questioned a man who was seriously spasmodic. He offered the info with a smile.
Kai rushed upstairs to the room he had been directed to.
He walked in and there was Tala lying on an old broken down bed, other men were in the room all doing some form of drugs. Kai tried to go toward Tala but a man stopped him,
"Where you going?"
"To him…" Kai pointed to Tala and the man glanced over.
"I don't think so, that pretty little thing owes me a lot of money for the amount of heroine he was shooting…" the filthy and stinky man smiled at Kai, probably a drug runner.
"How much is a lot?" Kai asked quietly.
"A couple grand…I'm surprised he ain't dead."
"I'll pay you, every penny and I leave with him." Kai bartered, his stomach turning at the thought of this man raping Tala.
"Okay…that'll be four grand." He smirked and Kai knew he was probably over charging. But Tala was worth much more.
"I'll write you a check and I'll give you my name. That way if you have any problems with the check then you can find me."
Kai took out a chequebook from inside his blazer pocket, which had a pen Parker pen attached, it was wet around the edges but the leather casing protected for the most part. He wrote it out untidily in the dim light, glancing at Tala every so often as he saw Tala was stirring.
He handed the man the cheque,
"And the pen…its probably worth a lot ." the man smiled smugly.
Kai wasn't surprised the man knew who he was, or that he was swindling him because of that reason…Tala was worth it.
He walked passed the man and went to the bed. He cradled Tala in his arms and walked out hearing the man laughing.
He smacked Tala's face and Tala groaned at the headache he had. Kai inspected the new purple needle bruises on Tala's arm, it made him sick to think of Tala doing that to himself.
You are one of Gods mistakes…
"Wake up Tala…" he said smacking Tala lightly.
Tala opened his eyes and focused on Kai's face and he frowned,
"Kai? What are…" he blinked lazily.
"Do you have any idea what you were about to get into?" he said angrily.
Tala sat forward, taking in his surroundings, the heavy rain.
"What are you talking about?" Tala smiled.
Kai became angry, Tala was behaving as he did in past when he was high. Kai slapped Tala harder and Tala frowned and held his cheek,
"What…?"
"You could have been raped back there you stupid fuck! You couldn't move and you were prime to be taken advantage of, because your high and you cant see or think straight!"
"Shut Up, just fucking shut up Kai…stop judging me…stop fucking saving me!" Tala stood up unsteadily and walked out into the pouring rain, still uncertain of what was happening.
Kai seethed and went after Tala into the rain.
You crying tragic waste of skin…
I'm well aware of how it aches…
"I don't understand you Tala, I'm trying to salvage what we have left!" he was struggling to follow Tala through the dense rain.
"You don't understand Kai and that's the problem. You don't know how I suffered when I stopped using…all you can do is preach…"
Kai stopped dead when he almost ran into Tala who had stopped and waited for Kai.
"Okay fair enough…" Kai shouted through the heavy rain, "...maybe I don't know…and I am sorry that you did. But you've been healthy and clean for so long Tala, why go back to something that is so obviously going to destroy us!" Kai was almost pleading.
Tala was soaked, his long hair sticking to his pale skin and his lips turning blue. Kai himself was turning a tinge of blue around his mouth and his hair was flat and sticking to his face.
"What is us Kai? This whole relationship is based on a shit foundation. We've never been solid!"
And you still wont let me in…
Tala started walking again only slower, his head was spinning and Kai saw Tala wobble off balance as he followed Tala closely.
And now I'm breaking down your door…
To try and save your swollen face…
Tala fell back into Kai's arms and Kai knelt on the ground with Tala leaning against him,
"Come on Tala, it doesn't have to be this way…we've been through worse, we'll stick to our pledge, I'll never touch alcohol again, just don't make me go through this again…" Kai was crying and moving wet hair out of Tala's face.
Tala's eyes opened slightly but the rain closed them again.
He leaned over Tala so that he could open his eyes and so he did and he frowned sadly at Kai,
"Why do you want me? Why do you tolerate all of this bullshit I put you through. All I've done has only hurt you and made you a different person. That beautiful, innocent and sweet child that I loved is long gone…and it's my fault. I'm not the same…" Tala stared up into Kai's open and scared eyes.
"Why…is because I love you…no matter what person you've become." Kai kissed Tala's cold lips gently.
Though I don't like you anymore…
You lying, trying waste of space…
Tala responded to the kiss and he sat up, kissing Kai back fully, both uninterested in the temperature or heavy rain. Their hands grabbed at wet clothes, trying to find a way beneath the tight wet materials. This was their communication, a way their love was conveyed to one another. Kai got a grip and undid Tala's jeans button and zip, he pulled back and looked at Tala, who despite how high he was, seemed to be stone sober as he looked into Kai's eyes with a familiar need.
The need that Tala had shown when he wanted Kai to claim him, it was all there, as if he was begging Kai to make it all go away.
Tala's perfect mouth parted and Kai heard those four beautiful words that controlled his life.
I love you Kai
Kai felt tears surface he forced them back down and instead stood up and pulled Tala to his feet.
Before our innocence was lost…
You were always one of those…
Blessed with lucky sevens…
Tala's jeans remained stuck to his skin so it didn't fall down as Kai led Tala through the rain like a lost child.
Tala felt himself suddenly pulled and pressed up against a wall, everything was dark and cold and wet and he could only see Kai.
"Do you want me that bad…" Tala smiled at Kai, his body was shaking from the cold and his teeth chattered slightly.
And a voice that made me cry…
My oh my…
"I always want you…I love you Tala." Kai answered, he himself was shivering.
Kai struggled to pull Tala's jeans down as they were stuck to his body, but he managed to get them right down around Tala's ankles.
He came to eye level with Tala and Tala grinned,
"What now?" he asked sexily, also noting that the situation was not right for stripping naked.
Kai smirked and he pulled Tala's hips forward causing Tala to slip down the wet wall slightly, his hair sticking to the wall.
Kai undid his own pants and he awkwardly stepped in between the small gap between Tala's legs, the pants creating a restriction He then lifted Tala and leaned him against the wall, Tala's legs around his waist.
He smiled at Tala,
"You ready?"
Tala smiled and he ran his slender fingers over Kai's pale features, and Kai took this time to look over Tala as if he'd never seen the beautiful face before.
You were mother natures son…
Someone to whom I could relate…
Tala's white snow like skin, his rose red hair, his icy blue eyes. All beautiful contradicting things of the world, none should be together, but they were all right there in his arms.
"I'm ready…" he whispered and leaned forward and started kissing Kai.
Kai felt Tala's lips were ice cold and as his free hand roamed he felt Tala's thin body, even thinner because of his lost appetite during his rehab. But he loved that body because to him it would always be beautiful.
Your needle and your damage done…
Remains a sorted twist of fate…
Kai gently entered Tala and went straight into a slow thrusting motion, Tala's small whimpers not indicating immense pain, only slight discomfort.
Kai went slow but hard, his body was cold and he was exhausted and he had little breath from Tala's breath taking kisses.
Tala's moaning and small breaths catching the wet droplets on Kai's neck, the whole situation was so surreal. They would both be very ill after this, pneumonia, hypothermia…or they would freeze to death where they were.
But Kai was in heaven and enjoyed this rare moment with Tala, everything in that moment was perfect.
They both climaxed. The rain removing any excess that their bodies gave away…it was perfect, almost as if the water had cleansed away their pain and differences.
As if it had purified their once innocent love, they were both lost in that moment.
And now I'm tryna wake you up…
To pull you from the liquid sky…
Kai separated himself slowly from Tala and then stepped out from in between Tala's legs. Tala was still flying from the heroine so Kai had to get his jeans back up although Tala did button and zip it himself. Kai did the same to his own pants.
Tala slid down the wall and sat on the ground,
"What are we Kai…how did we find each other and fuck up our lives like this?" he spoke audibly knowing the rain might drown his words.
Kai sat next to him,
"Its destiny…I truly believe it is. It's been with us since the beginning."
Cause if I don't we'll both end up…
With just your songs to say goodbye…
My oh my…
A song to say goodbye…
A song to say goodbye…
Tala looked at Kai,
"I believe you…I felt it too…I just never realised how strong it was."
The rain was easing to a light rain as they sat there in what could now be identified as an alley.
"We will be forever Tala…because we don't have anyone else…" Kai smiled weakly.
A song to say…
Before our innocence was lost…
You were always one of those…
Blessed with lucky sevens…
Tala reached out and pulled Kai close to him, holding Kai head to his chest, not interested in his wet hair. Kai felt safe, like he did the first time and every other time Tala held him,
"I'm yours and you are mine…and even in death…we will be forever." Tala's voice was soothing and like Kai's life support.
And a voice that made me cry…
It's a song to say to say goodbye…
After a moment, the rain now only just drizzle, Kai stood up and he held a hand out to help Tala up.
Tala got to his feet unsteadily, gripping Kai's wet hand tightly.
Kai smiled at Tala, who was at his most attractive when he was wet,
"Lets go home…" he held Tala's hand tightly.
It's a song to say goodbye…
It's a song to say goodbye…
The couple walked home in the drizzle, in silence, in the night, together. Empty streets of Moscow and nothing but the rain. So much like how it had started, only now it was the end…of the pain…and the beginning of forever.
It's a song to say goodbye…
I enjoyed writing it for all ya'll. R&R
THANKS
