Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto

Warning: shounen-ai/ yaoi

The Hanged Man

“You know this isn’t funny.” A fifteen year old blond commented. His sun kissed hair hung above his head as his whole body was suspended above the air. “Seriously, get me down. Now.” He ordered with a murderous tone in his voice. He growled for the hundredth time as his raven black shirt fell into his mouth.

Naruto was literally a hung man.

“No.” The calm collected Uchiha smirked smugly beneath him. Ah how he revelled in sight of such a sexy looking stomach, though he would rather die than to say that out loud. He watched the smaller boy above his head rotate a few more times.

“Fuck you.”

“No thanks.”

Naruto glared, if he wasn’t in such a position he would so get down and kicked the bastard all the way to Kentucky! Wait, where was Kentucky? Curse the man who invented chakra-enforced ropes! How long had he been hanging here? An hour? He groaned as he lost all will to move he would have been happy to stay there if it wasn’t for one damned bastard.

“If you’re not going to help me why the hell are you here?”

“I enjoy watching you suffer.” Sasuke retorted as cool as ice.

“Sadist.” He snapped.

“You know, calling names won’t persuade me to get you down from there.” He smirked as Naruto instantly shut up.

“So what am I meant to say? I’ll let you screw my brains out if you get me down from here?” He responded sarcastically, his face quickly switched to horror as he saw Sasuke actually contemplating over the offer. “I was kidding!”

“Shame, I would have actually gotten you out for that.” He smirked, he wasn’t completely lying, he really would have loved to take the poor boy’s virginity, but watching him get fired up would have to do.

“I never knew you were gay.”

“Gay is such a harsh word.” The brunette replied faking a hurt expression. “Besides, you seemed pretty willing with that offer.” Oh gods, Sasuke’s neck hurt now, maybe he should just cut the boy down and get it over with…

Naruto rolled his cerulean eyes. “Fine, homosexual.” He smiled triumphantly as he saw the sour expression on the Uchiha heir’s face. “So homo, are you going to cut me down?”

“Not funny.”

“I wonder if your fan club will become yaoi fan girls once they find you’re gay…” The kyuubi container mused now not really caring about the blood rushing to his head. He started laughing as a random thought came into his mind but it came out choked instead.

“I would ask what’s so funny but you’ll be dead before you can answer.” Sasuke stated now pulling out a scroll and reading.

“I was just thinking about who your fan girls would pair you up with if they ever become yaoi fan girls.” He began to laugh again now thinking of the lengthy list of single men. Ah, he was going to have fun with this. “I mean, like Lee for example.” He began his hysterics again when he saw the pale boy drop the green scroll. Was it his imagination when he thought that Sasuke had actually gotten paler?

A few moments passed before the proud Uchiha cleared his throat. “Dobe, you know that Lee likes Sakura,” he stated trying to hide his previous horror. He bent down to pick up the green scroll, two could play at this game.

“What about you? Does the great Uzumaki Naruto favour anyone?” He enquired mockingly, this meant war.

“Nope.” Naruto answered simply, crossing his arms and closing his eyes in thought, now you could imagine how he felt when he saw Uchiha’s face barely an inch away from his. The damn bastard was using chakra to support himself sideways on the tree. A small blush crept up on the blond male’s face, curse you sod’s law!

“Your face tells a different story.” The older male now breathed in Naruto’s ear, his smug expression never leaving when he could almost feel the heat rising to the blond’s cheeks. Dark obsidian eyes pierced into sapphire ones once more, taking his pale hand to cup the younger’s cheek he continued his assault. “Besides,” he leaned in closer now and smirked as he heard Naruto audibly swallow.

“You know you like me.”

“WHAT!” Naruto screamed now breaking out of his trance, he screamed even louder when the wire tied to his foot was cut. He cursed himself for falling into such a lame trick, he swore he was going to neuter Kiba!

Sasuke simply pushed his feet away from the trunk of the oak tree and landed gracefully in front of the orange heap on the ground. He stared at the corpse for a little while wondering if he was ever going to move his lazy ass. He sighed and scratched the back of his head although he had to admit, Naruto‘s lazy ass was rather cute.

“You’re not doing yourself any favours with your ass in the air dobe.”

Naruto groaned and shifted, now glaring at the taunting brunette. Just one punch! That was all he wanted, one clean punch to the head! He allowed his soft golden hair to be engulfed by the emerald grass once more, the sharingan freak’s demise would come later, right now he needed to kill a certain dog loving male.

“Can you wait a little while before I fulfil my offer? I need to kill someone first.” He smirked as he saw the shocked expression on Sasuke’s face, man it was priceless. Okay. so maybe the kyuubi container liked the pompous, stuck up, I’m-too-great-for-my-own-good Uchiha as well, but hell;

He wasn’t going to make it easy for him in bed.

A/N: Ah I was never good at writing one-shots, hell this isn‘t even double checked or beta-ed. Sorry if it made no sense or the characters were OOC or whatever, I just needed a little break from Lifeless, enjoy everybody nyow!

Nyaron