Walk With Me.

By Tels.

Fingers he didn't recognise pulled on the uniform and then ran over the unfamiliar face reflected back at him in the mirror. Brown eyes where once there was blue and short brown curly hair where there had been waist long golden locks. No matter how many hosts there had been in the past the initial adjustment was always hard. Especially this time. Both of them had suffered great loss amidst terrible pain and atrocity. His new host had lost his mate and he had lost his host, the woman he had been and loved for the past 156 years.

His first and only female host, so far at least. That had been the first shock to the council. Not that they objected to a female base commander, not once Dayna had proved herself anyway. The second was the fact that her temperament matched his in such a way that only the voice let others know who was fore. And then not always that gave them away. She had been known to use his voice at times and he'd done the same with hers.

They had been a good team and now she was gone. His eyes glistened slightly. She was not the only one they had lost. He was keenly aware of the grief filling his host; grief which was only accentuated by his own. The same overwhelmingly intense grief which had made his host become withdrawn and silent in their mind. You do not need to speak or come fore with any of the others or with the High Council he assured him. Just don't shut me out.

His host took a deep breath. I could never do that… you saved my life… Whether or not that was a good thing was still debateable but that thought was best not spoken or even thought aloud.

As you saved mine. He didn't let on he'd heard the doubt in his host's mind. This was all too new and strange to him. And the grief, fear and hatred he felt towards anything remotely 'snake-like' still too raw and recent.

"Malek?" A voice from the doorway cut through his thoughts.

He glanced at the reflection and then turned. "I'm here."

"We should go… they are waiting for you. Are you both alright?"

"We're fine," he took a step towards her. "This is weird, being a man again after so long."

Selmak hugged him tightly then pulled back. "I wouldn't know. Never been one," she answered with a grin. She ran her hands through her greying hair. "Saroosh approves of your taste in men. Says if only she were a young woman again…"

Malek laughed slightly. "Thanks. I think." He took a deep breath. "I'm ready."

Selmak nodded and led Malek to face the council. He had to explain the circumstances behind the death of his host.

The sun shone in the cloudless blue sky as Terath led his daughter to the flower covered binding stone in the centre of the village. He hadn't approved the match at first; Jared was a little too flippant for his liking and would rather run or play sports than work and hunt like the other men. But he had been willing and worked hard to win his daughter's hand. The villagers sang as they walked and he placed his daughter's hand in Jared's. To give the young man his due he'd made the effort. He scrubbed up quite well too.

Sue Lyn was still surprised her father had agreed to the match. She'd made no secret of how she felt for Jared and nor had he for her. But her father never approved of any man she liked. No one was quite good enough for her; especially not a weaver's apprentice who would far rather play than do an honest days work or hunting. But to her Jared was all she wanted in a man. Plus she had to marry him now, although if that ever came out, both he and she would be in trouble up to their necks. She loved him. That was all that mattered. And he was a kind man. He never raised a hand to her or said a cross word.

Jared watched his wife-to-be walking towards him and beamed at her; his dark eyes sparkling with the love that he felt for her. She was the most beautiful woman in the whole of Endarra he decided and she was his. Had been his for a while but her father could never know that. Endarran women had to be pure on their wedding night and she was not but neither of them cared. She was his, she loved him and he loved her and that's what mattered. And the secret growing within her was theirs, just theirs. But if they were found out, even at this late stage, they would be executed. Celibacy before marriage was a rule that was enforced by death.

He hated learning a trade. He would rather run and use his sporting talent to the best of its ability. He'd driven his teachers to distraction at school with his flippant attitude to learning or rather not learning. He could do the work, he just chose not to, preferring athletics and football to maths and writing. He just couldn't understand people who would rather stay indoors and study than be outside and play. This is probably why his parents had placed him with the weaver, making him stay in and gaze longingly at the wide open spaces outside. Still he thought, he could have been apprenticed to the accountants or to the dull world of the academics who studied papers all day long in musty offices.

He took Sue Lyn's hand as Terath placed it in his and smiled at her. "Hey you," he whispered, ignoring the glare from the celebrant and the hiss of warning from Terath. "You look beautiful… even more so than normal."

Sue Lyn shook her head slightly beaming at him; he couldn't be serious even for a moment, but that was just part of what drew her to him in the first place.

The celebrant cleared his throat as Jared continued to talk quietly to Sue Lyn and then began the ceremony.

When it came to his vows Jared looked at Sue Lyn and smiled. Taking a deep breath he began to sing, his clear voice echoing round the village. "Walk with me through the long and lonely night. Walk with me, and my world is filled with light. Here I stand feeling lost and so alone. Take my hand, don't desert me now, Please don't hurt me now, If you walk with me, though I know the road is long, I'll get by with your love to make me strong. More by far than a guiding star above, I long for you, Walk with me, oh my love."

Finally the celebrant pronounced them husband and wife and Jared pulled his beloved into his arms, kissing her passionately.

Suddenly with no warning all hell broke loose. Fire rained down from the sky making buildings explode and the ground rise up in showers of dirt and ash. The Chappa'ai activated spilling jaffa from its shimmering blue surface. The villagers scattered and ran, falling like rain as the jaffa opened fire on them.

Jared grabbed Sue Lyn's hand pulling her with him. Her long veil was torn from her hair as she turned, someone stepping on it in their haste to get away. "Wait!" she gasped and turned, trying to pick it up.

Jared pulled at her. "Come on! Leave it! We don't have time!"

She reached out with her finger tips and grabbed it just as Jared pulled her away.

Jared ran following the others not knowing where he was going or where would be safe. There was an explosion just in front of them and he turned pulling Sue Lyn away from the flames. They ran faster. Jared was aware of Sue Lyn screaming, a short scream that suddenly stopped short and at the same time her hand fell out of his. "NOOOOOO!" he screamed as he turned in time to see her fall to the ground, a smoking hole where her back should be. He dropped to his knees and cradled her lifeless body in his arms. Tears fell down his face as he held her. This was their wedding day, the start of the rest of their lives and now she was gone.

He rocked back and forth her blood covering the white ceremonial clothes he wore. He whispered her name over and over, trying to call her back to him. The sounds of the battle that waged round him faded. Nothing mattered anymore. He wanted to die alongside her. Pain erupted through him and he welcomed it, along with the sweet release of blackness that filled every fibre of his being.

Jared woke, wondering why he was so stiff and hurt so much and was sleeping while he was sitting down. He tried to move to find his arms were high above his head. He looked round trying to work out where he was.

"You're awake," a voice said.

Jared turned his head to see where the voice was coming from. "Where am I?"

The woman looked at him. She was tied up the same way he was. "Onboard a Goa'uld mother ship. Morrigan attacked your home world. You were taken to be used as a host."

Jared looked at her. "What? What happened to the others?"

"Oh don't worry... nothing has happened yet," the woman answered avoiding his second question. "She will do the implantation when she gets back to her homeworld. She has a whole new batch of symbiotes to find hosts for. She is picking the strongest and handsomest men she can find. I guess you fit the bill."

Jared closed his eyes as he suddenly remembered. He took a deep shuddering breath seeing her fall and die again. A hole opened up inside him and overwhelming grief filled him. He could feel his stomach turn and then felt incredibly sick. Turning away he heaved suddenly and violently losing what he had eaten that morning. Tears filled his eyes and once the heaves died he pushed back into the wall. "Sorry," he said embarrassed at having made a fool of himself like that.

She looked at him. "Don't be...it must have been bad down there."

Jared nodded. "It was... It was my wedding. She died..."

"I'm sorry," the woman said looking at him with sympathy. She gave him a few minutes to compose himself, as he turned away heaving again.

"Hardly your fault," he managed after a while. "You seem as captured as I am. I'm Jared by the way."

She nodded. "Dayna," she replied. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. Perhaps later we can do this whole make new friends routine properly." She looked up at the chains ruefully.

Jared nodded. "Yeah, perhaps. Did she raid your home world too?" he asked, not wanting to pry but needing to know why the attractive blonde chained with him was a prisoner too.

She nodded. "Not exactly but yes I got caught..." She paused. "Morrigan is planning on executing me when she gets home."

Jared looked at her wishing he had the same fate awaiting him. "Wish she was going to kill me."

She looked at him. "Why?"

"I do not wish to be a host to one of them," he said. "But more than that, I do not wish to live without my Sue Lyn." He paused, throwing up again, even though he didn't think he had anything left in his stomach to lose. Taking a deep breath he looked up again. "Why kill you? Is she only looking for male hosts?"

She took a deep breath. "I am not who I appear to be. I already am a host."

"Dduw drugarhau arnom!" Jared whispered in fear trying to back away, the restraints not allowing him to move far. "You're one of them!"

She shook her head. "No. I am a member of the resistance... the Tok'ra."

Jared looked at her as if she had told him the tooth fairy was real. "The Tok'ra? Oh please. What kind of a fool do you take me for? That is just a story we tell our children at bed time."

"No... We are very real."

She explained she had been working undercover here until she had made a mistake and got caught. Morrigan had tortured her. Knowing Dayna was carrying a symbiote and wasn't one of her own people, Morrigan deduced that Dayna therefore had to be a spy of one kind or another. And on finally realising she was Tok'ra; Morrigan had vowed to make an example of her by executing her publicly.

He looked away, bile rising in his throat again. He swallowed hard several times then looked back at her.

She had looked away. "I am sorry," she said. "I did not mean to make you uncomfortable by what I am."

Jared looked at her. "It's just..." he said wondering how to phrase it without upsetting her, because if he were honest he was more than uncomfortable with the idea of her being one of THEM. He hated them and all they stood for and wanted them all dead for what they had done to him. "I just have a problem with the Goa'uld."

She looked at him. "I promise I am not Goa'uld. I am host to Malek of the Tok'ra."

Jared shook his head as he looked at her. "The Tok'ra are a myth," he repeated. "Just like the tooth fairy and the zanglewolf are." Then he recoiled slightly as her eyes glowed. "Whoa!" he managed.

Malek smiled at him. "I assure you we are no myth," she said, her voice distortion doing nothing to help Jared's unease. "But unlike the Goa'uld we live in complete harmony with our hosts. As you have seen Dayna is free to move and speak as she wishes. Well when she's not chained to the wall that is," she added ruefully looking up at her hands.

Jared pulled on the chains. "Yeah… That does kinda make moving hard." He looked at Malek. "So you're a Goa'uld then?"

"Tok'ra," Malek corrected. "We are nothing like them. In fact calling us a Goa'uld or a snake is the best way to anger us."

Jared nodded. "I'm sorry… It's just… they killed my wife…" he took a deep breath, emotion filling him. "It was our wedding… he'd just pronounced us married… but she had been my wife in the way that counts for a while." His eyes filled and he turned away embarrassed at showing emotion in front of a woman and a complete stranger. And he wasn't entirely proud of what he had done either.

Malek watched him. The man's pain ran deep and fresh. "Many of us have died at the hands of the jaffa and the Goa'uld over the years," she said. "It is not an easy thing to accept or come to terms with."

Jared nodded. "Why now?" he whispered looking away. He bit his lip. "She was only 25… not much younger than I. We had our whole lives ahead of us… the baby… the…" he broke off, catching the look on Malek's face. "Have I shocked you now?"

Malek shook her head. "No… you obviously loved her very much."

"Yes I did," Jared replied. "More than I should have. No one knew about the baby… she'd only just found out. It would have devastated her parents. In fact her father would have had the both of us executed without so much of a second thought."

Malek looked puzzled for a moment as she tried to work out why someone would kill his daughter, son-in-law and unborn grandchild.

Maybe their customs forbid intimacy before marriage Dayna explained. In some cultures it is taboo. Not everyone is as liberal in their thoughts and deeds as you Tok'ra who have no secrets and no doors.

I see, thank you. Malek's face cleared. "I see. What would you have done?"

Jared partially shrugged and gasped in pain as the unnatural position his arms were in caused pain to rip through him. "Chy'frgolla," he whispered. He took several deep shuddering breaths. "I stood by her… went ahead with the wedding as planned… We were going to pretend the baby was early… big for dates or something…." Tears fell again. He whispered her name quietly as he mourned for the woman he had loved and lost.

Malek gave control back to Dayna. He doesn't need a reminder of why his wife died again she whispered.

Dayna hugged her. Okay hon.

And remind me to listen to the council next time they tell me I have a desk and that's where I work. I'd rather deal with the day to day running of the base than this…

You got no arguments there my friend. Dayna assured her.

Jared closed his eyes as the woman fell silent, presumably talking to herself by the look on her face. He wanted things back as they were when he woke up that morning, before everything was taken away from him. He hurt but he had a feeling this was only the beginning of the nightmare. He didn't want this, didn't want any of this or the pain that was to come; especially if he was to be used as a host and not just a play thing. He shut himself off as best he could, savouring what could be his last moments alone in his own mind.

He didn't know how long he sat there. His arms mercifully went numb after a while until he moved, then pain soared though him. The woman was nice enough to talk to, shame about the snake though. Her kind had taken away from him all that he ever wanted his mate, his child… and pretty soon they would take away his life as well. To lose his life would be a blessing as it would ease this ache within him and set him free to rejoin his beloved Sue Lyn in the afterlife. But the way he would lose it would be a curse as he would not be dead. He'd heard stories of how the host remained aware, sentient, knowing what was happening yet powerless to stop it.

The door flung open and he heard booted feet stamp across the floor towards him. He didn't open his eyes as the guttural voice of a woman spoke to him. It was only when the iron toed boot made swift contact with his ribs he looked up. "You will show respect!" the jaffa hissed.

Jared's eyes narrowed. "Why should I? You showed me none," he said flippantly. He could see a woman in a tight dress standing just behind the jaffa and guessed it was this Morrigan woman.

The jaffa kicked him again and then pulled on the lever to his left. He laughed as the prisoner was pulled to his feet, the chains yanking his arms upwards towards the ceiling.

Jared cried out involuntarily, pain ripping through him as his arms twisted to an unnatural angle, his feet now barely touching the floor, his tall frame making that no mean achievement.

Morrigan laughed as he hung there. Then she ran an appreciative eye over his body. "Not bad," she said running her fingertips down his chest. "You will make an excellent host… although perhaps I can find another use for you first." She twisted his face towards her and kissed him. "Either way… you will become a host at dawn." She looked at the jaffa. "Teach him some manners then when we land, clean him up and have him brought to me."

She smirked at Jared. "Don't look so worried, you'll enjoy what I have planned for you." Then she turned to Dayna. "Unlike you." She nodded to the jaffa, who raised the chains pulling Dayna to her feet as well. She gasped as her arms twisted, her face creasing with pain.

Morrigan laughed. "Is the Shol'va not taking the pain for you…? I always knew she was a coward… Tell me her name and you will be spared the pain."

Dayna looked at her. "Her name is none of your concern," she said. She screamed as the pain stick touched her side, orange light pouring through her.

Morrigan laughed. "I'm sorry… what was her name…?"

Dayna closed her eyes still shaking. "Naff Off…"

Jared turned away as she screamed again not wanting to see her body arch or swing on the chains. It seemed to go on interminably. With Morrigan repeating the same question and not getting the answer she wanted. Then he felt something touch his side and he looked down to see the pain stick touching him. His breathing hiked and his heart started racing.

Morrigan raised an eyebrow and looked at Dayna. "Well… the name of your symbiote or he gets it…"

Dayna looked at her and then at Jared.

The slight hesitation was all Morrigan needed to nod at the jaffa.

Pain like he had never known erupted though Jared and he writhed and screamed as the orange light poured from his body. It went on and on. Finally it stopped and he hung from the chains, shaking and gasping for breath.

Morrigan moved to Dayna's side. "You could spare him… just a name that's all I want."

Jared forced his eyes open. "Don't tell her…" he gasped.

Dayna looked at him. "She will kill you…"

"Dead anywayyyy…" Jared whispered arching as pain soared through him again his words being cut off by an agonizing scream of pain.

Dayna closed her eyes. Malek… I can't be strong… if it were me then….

It's okay my friend…I'll tell her.

Dayna looked at Morrigan and her eyes glowed as Malek came fore, putting Dayna to sleep as she did so. "Leave him alone."

Morrigan smiled. "So you do speak…" she gripped Malek's face firmly. "What is your name?"

"I tell you my name and you leave him alone."

Morrigan tightened her grip. "Your name!"

"Malek."

Morrigan's eyes widened. "The Malek?" she asked. "Malek of Telnor?"

Malek smiled. "I see my fame precedes me," she said slowly.

Morrigan nodded at the jaffa and watched Malek's face as Jared screamed again. "As does your treachery. I will enjoy killing you."

Malek looked at her. "Why hurt him again? I told you what you wanted."

"You did… maybe you will tell me more to stop him from hurting." She paused. "You do not know him and yet you protect him. Why?"

Malek twisted her head away. "I will tell you nothing of value!" she spat. Then closed her eyes as she heard Jared scream in pain again and again until he passed out, hanging from the chains.

The jaffa then turned to Malek until she too passed out unable to tolerate the pain any longer.

Jared came round to find himself still in chains but not where he remembered being when he passed out. He closed his eyes again wanting to return the nothingness of sleep. Somewhere it didn't hurt. He closed his eyes drifting off again, not really caring where he was. The next thing he knew was cold water being thrown over him. His eyes snapped open.

The jaffa laughed. "The Lady Morrigan wished you cleaned up. Strip."

Jared just looked at him and shook his still chained wrists at him. He didn't say anything, afraid of what they'd do to him. As much as he wanted to die he didn't want the pain that went with it.

The jaffa kicked him a few times simply because he could then proceeded to tear the clothes from Jared's body.

Jared was all too aware of his nakedness and the close proximity of Dayna. The only woman he'd been with was Sue Lyn and even then he hadn't been totally naked and nor had she. He blushed bright red with embarrassment, the colour spreading down his neck and up to the tips of his ears. Then he gasped as more cold water was directed at him, this time in the form of a hose, soaking him from head to foot and none too gently.

Then the jaffa turned to Dayna and stripped and hosed her down too. Jared averted his gaze, until the jaffa noticed and forced him to watch. He looked at her face, wishing this was over and wishing he had the courage to make sure they killed him this time.

Finally the jaffa left, leaving them wet, naked and shivering.

"Well that was refreshing," Jared quipped.

Dayna shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Are you always this flippant?" she asked.

Jared pulled his leg up to preserve his modesty as best as he could. "Yeah… everyone finds it infuriating, especially Terath. That's Sue Lyn's father."

Dayna shifted position but didn't bother to even try to hide her figure. She wasn't fussed as to whether she was clothed or not and in any case with her arms stretched above her head there was nothing she could do to hide her extremely full figure anyway. "I bet he did."

Jared looked at her. "Hides the fact that I'm a coward," he said quietly. "Always have been. Things go wrong and I run, I'd have stood by her if they found out about the baby but we would have left if there had been any chance of that. We'd have run." He looked down. "I'd run now if I could. So scared…"

"Most people run," Dayna said quietly. "It's called survival."

Jared took a deep breath, "Perhaps," he paused. "I can't believe I'm telling you this. Here I am totally naked…" His face coloured again. "Doesn't not being dressed bother you?"

Dayna shook her head. "No… at first perhaps but the Tok'ra have no secrets from each other. Our bases have no doors on any of the rooms and our bathing pools are very seldom unoccupied. So seeing each other unclothed is no different from clothed."

Jared looked aghast for a moment. "I see…"

"It's not so bad, you get used to it."

He nodded and shifted awkwardly, bringing his leg up higher to shield his chest too. She maybe okay with it but he was not. He'd give anything right now for clothes, even his bloodstained wedding clothes were better than nothing. He shivered, incredibly cold now.

Dayna watched him and smiled. "Malek says if it's any consolation I am her only female host. He's spent the past 1100 years as a man."

Jared did a double take. "How long?"

"1100 years. 4 hosts before me, all of them male."

"You change hosts?" he asked, still trying to get his head round this.

Dayna nodded. "Without the use of the sarcophagus the symbiotes can only sustain the body for at the most 300 years. I have been Malek's host for 156 years now."

He nodded slightly. "Okay… that ummm begs the question. How? I mean… It's inside you right… so how and where?"

Dayna looked at him. "The Tok'ra only blend with a consenting host. We enter through the hosts mouth and then through the soft tissue at the back of the throat. That way there are no scars."

"And the Goa'uld?" he asked hesitantly.

"Through the back of the neck," Dayna said quietly. "Our way is less painful and far less traumatic for the host."

Jared swallowed hard. Neither option sounded particularly pleasant. He shifted his mind back to something Dayna had said earlier on. "He?" he asked. "You said she and he in the same sentence… I thought Malek was female?"

"Actually symbiotes have no gender and assume the sex of the host. But even after 156 years Malek still thinks like a man at times."

Jared looked down. "Not even going to ask how they reproduce," he muttered. He looked back up, still not looking directly at her, wishing she'd at least pull her legs up or something. "That why they take hosts I suppose?"

Dayna shook her head. "No… although we do have mates it has to be something the four involved agree on."

Jared looked at her sharply. "Four?"

She nodded. "Yeah both hosts and symbiotes have to agree and consent to any relationship, especially an intimate one. We live, love and mourn as one."

Jared shook his head. "With no doors?"

Dayna looked at him. "Yes."

"What if you get walked in on?"

She shrugged. "Malek says it happens sometimes."

Jared looked puzzled.

"I'm single, always have been. And Malek has never been intimately involved with anyone. She's too high up in the chain of command for that, says she doesn't have the time. Although to be honest I think it's just she never found anyone she loved enough. At least you had that."

Jared nodded slowly. "Yeah…" He looked up as the door to the cell flung open again and four jaffa came in. Terror flooded him as they moved over to him and pulled him to his feet. "Where are you taking me?" he asked.

"The Lady Morrigan wants you," one of them answered.

Pain flooded him as his arms were finally lowered and he gratefully held his hands in front of himself.

The jaffa laughed and dragged him away.

Dayna watched him go and then looked at the jaffa standing in front of her. She watched his eyes wander slowly down her body and knew what was going to happen. Malek she whispered pushing herself back into the wall as much as she could.

Malek hugged her tightly. I'm here came the reply. Sleep dear one. Malek put Dayna into a deep sleep and looked at the jaffa as he came closer to her and pushed her roughly to the floor. She could not prevent her host from being assaulted but she could prevent her from knowing anything about it and take the pain and abuse for her.

Morrigan walked slowly round Jared admiring his lean taut figure. "Very nice," she said. "You will make an excellent host."

Jared looked straight ahead, highly embarrassed and wishing she'd give him some clothes or just go away and leave him in peace.

Morrigan smirked. "I think I will wait until you have become a host before taking you to my bed… As much as it would please me now… I will wait." She laughed. "Once the Shol'va is dead you will become a host and then can serve me for hours." She looked at him. "Get dressed." She indicated the pile of clothes on the floor.

Jared looked at them longingly and then at his wrists.

Morrigan nodded at the jaffa who unfastened the chains.

Jared immediately turned and fled towards the door. Pain stuck his back sending him flying face down to the ground. He groaned unable to stop shaking as the remnants of the zat blast soared through him. He forced his eyes open as he was pulled up by the hair.

Morrigan glared at him. "Fool!" she hissed. "You seriously think you can escape from me?"

"Had to try," he whispered, shaking with fear now.

She shook him hard. "Coward!" she spat. "Get dressed. And don't even think about trying to escape again." She dropped him to the floor. "Unless you want to be taken now."

Jared reached over for the clothes. Linen pants and a thin linen tunic that had no fastenings of any kind. He dressed as quickly as his trembling hands would allow and then stood there.

Morrigan smirked at him. "Come. Watch the Shol'va die and then you will become mine or die too."

The jaffa took firm hold of Jared and forced him to follow her out of the building and into the courtyard at the front of the palace.

Jared glanced round. They must have landed while he slept he realised and transferred him to the palace then. There were an awful lot of people here. It looked as if the whole town had turned out to worship the woman who seemed to be revelling in it.

Morrigan stood in the centre of the court and addressed the assembled jaffa, minor system lords loyal to her and local population. Her words were greeted with enthusiasm and adulation. It was clear to Jared that these misguided people hung on her every word and believed everything she said.

He stood there between the jaffa, terrified and wondering what was going to happen. He just hoped that his death would be quick. Or would he die. Dayna obviously hadn't died when Malek took her as a host. Maybe he'd remain alive, knowing what was going on and unable to stop it. He wondered if he should try running again and maybe this time she would kill him.

Jared watched as Dayna was brought out and made to stand in the centre of the platform. She had been brutally beaten and assaulted which the population seemed to approve of.

Dayna looked straight ahead, trying not to give in to the panic searing through her. She knew what was coming and just hoped she'd have the strength to see it though. The gown she wore was tight and short. She didn't remember putting it on so assumed Malek had been fore then. Malek was also hiding the memories of the past couple of hours from her and she wasn't going to ask why or what happened.

Malek hugged her. Sleep beloved she said. Let me face our death… I love you… thank you for being my host, for loving me…

Malek I can't let you…

Yes you can… sleep… you do not need to feel the pain that is to come, Remember the good times… our friends, the time we spent with Selmak…

I love you Malek… so much…Thank you… for everything… Dayna reached out to her symbiote filling her with all the love she had for her.

Malek gently hugged her host and let her fall asleep for the last time, filling her mind with the thoughts of Selmak and Saroosh. Then she looked at Morrigan defiantly.

Morrigan laughed. "Do not think that you can escape me now Shol'va. There is no rescue coming. You will die slowly and painfully … once your host is dead that is." She indicated the stone altar. "You will be staked out upon the altar and your heart will be ripped from your host's body while it is still beating. Then your throat will be cut allowing my raven access to your defenceless body which will be pecked to death." She paused watching Malek's face drain of colour. "A fitting end for a Shol'va."

Jared paled as he listened to the way Dayna would die. As much as he hated what she was no one deserved that.

The jaffa holding onto Jared let go of him and moved away a little.

Jared wondered how far he'd get if he ran but Morrigan just stood there and looked at him and he froze. Sheer panic etched on his face as she looked from him to the altar and back. Then he looked over at Dayna or was it Malek as Morrigan turned back to her.

Malek struggled as the jaffa dragged her over to the altar then she abruptly stopped. She began to recite the Tok'ra liturgy for the dying in her mind, mentally preparing herself for death.

Jared watched, not wanting to but unable to turn away as they pushed Malek down onto the altar and tied her spread-eagled limbs tightly with rope before cutting off her clothes from her now unresisting body.

Malek concentrated on the recitation in her mind as the priest massaged the fragranced oil into every part of her body, until her skin glistened in the sunlight. Slowly she listed her host's names one after the other. Kaleb, Alton, Thaddis, Had'rian, Dayna…These were my hosts, my beloved frie…aggggghhhhhhhh! She broke off as she began the lament for them in a cry of pain as the knife made contact with her chest, tearing her open.

Malek screamed again, her body arching against the restraints. She had never known such agony as this and was glad that Dayna knew nothing about it. She had given her host the final gift she could, putting her so deeply asleep that she knew nothing. She owed her that much. They had been though much together. She could feel Dayna sleeping within her and hugged her knowing the end was near. She would face it as it should be.

Malek screwed her eyes shut, the liturgy in her mind now a blur, the words screaming into each other in long cry of pain. Tears ran down her face, tears of pain, loneliness and loss. The pain increased and her eyes jerked open one last time. Everything was a sea of red; red pain, red blood, red everything. She exhaled one final scream of sheer agony as with a cry of triumph Morrigan tore her still beating heart from her body and held it aloft. Malek's eyes glowed once and then faded and closed.

Morrigan turned back to Malek with the knife in her hand and slit her throat deep and hard, exposing the symbiotes body to the air. Then she pointed to Jared. "You!" she said beckoning to him.

One of the jaffa grabbed him and pushed him forward.

"But I haven't done anything," he said. "Please I didn't do anything." He fought to get away as he was pushed to his knees in front of Morrigan.

She smirked. "Now you will serve me," she said. She reached into one of the jaffa and pulled out a fully developed symbiote.

Jared recoiled. "Noooooo!" he screamed trying to get away.

"Put him on the altar next to the Shol'va!" Morrigan ordered.

Jared struggled and screamed as the jaffa dragged him across to the altar, trying desperately to get free. He'd rather die than become one of them.

The jaffa pulled his tunic off him and laid him on the altar next to Malek's body. He could smell her blood, was only to aware that he was lying in her blood. They flipped him over onto his stomach holding him down. He could feel the snake slithering up his back. He screamed, trying desperately to get away, panic filling him now. He had never been one to believe in a god but he figured now was a good time to start and prayed to whoever might hear him to spare him or kill him now.

Then there was an explosion somewhere to his left and the sound of weapons fire. Then pain filled him as something bit him hard on the back of the neck. He screamed as he felt it start to burrow into him. Then the pain stopped and there was a hand there instead and a voice was speaking to him. "It's gone. I prevented it from entering you completely."

Jared looked up at the woman standing there. "What? Who are you?"

She helped Jared sit up. "I am Selmak of the Tok'ra." She looked at Malek's body. "I am sorry we did not arrive in time to save you my friend."

Malek's eyes opened and glowed weakly, a rasping gargling sound came from the dead woman's throat, blood dripping from the side of her mouth.

Jared shot off the altar, moving away rapidly a hand going to the back of his neck, feeling the wound there. His hand came away bloodied.

Lantash looked at him. "I can heal that if you come with us. We can't stay here. They will send reinforcements."

Selmak looked up from where she had a hand on Malek's head. "Malek is still alive."

Lantash looked at her. "Then remove her from the host and bring her. We can find a host when we get home."

Selmak shook her head. "She is very weak. She will die soon. We do not have the time to wait."

Jared looked over at the body on the altar. The amount of blood was incredible. The glow in her eyes was fading. Taking a deep breath, he moved over to the body and leaned down to her ear. "Take me," he said quietly.

Selmak looked at him. "Are you sure?"

Jared looked up. "Hey I was gonna be taken as a host anyway… you, them, what's the difference?" He looked back at Malek. "Just do it quickly."

Malek's eyes looked at him for a moment and then the light faded all together.

Selmak nodded. "Then kiss her."

Jared leaned down and placed his open mouth on hers. His eyes widened and all of a sudden his mouth was full. He choked and gagged then pain filled him and he couldn't breathe. His hands flew to his throat and he staggered backwards.

Selmak and Lantash caught him before he fell. "Easy," Selmak said gently. "Don't fight her just relax… it will pass."

Jared shook his head panicking hard. What have I done? Seintiau cadw ni what have I done? he cried in his mind. Am I to die like this I can't breathe… can't breathe… Sue Lyn… Everything went black as fear and panic overwhelmed him and he knew no more.

He came to some time later. It was cold and what he was lying on was hard and uncomfortable. He sat bolt upright his hand going to the back of his neck.

I healed you a voice said gently.

Jared looked round but there was no one there.

I healed you the voice repeated. In exchange for you saving my life.

Jared jumped off the slab he was sat on and looked round wildly. He hadn't saved anyone. "There is no one here," he said to himself. "You're imagining things."

I am here said the voice. Inside you.

"WHAT?" Jared exhaled loudly.

Lantash and Selmak came into the room. "You're awake," Selmak smiled. "How are you doing?"

Jared looked at her. "Where am I? What have you done to me? Am I your prisoner now?" He stood there ready to run if needed.

"We have done nothing to you. You are safe here with us." Lantash looked puzzled. Had the blending failed?

"I want you to let me leave."

Selmak nodded, knowing they wouldn't get that far. He was in no condition for that just now, despite Malek having healed him. "I will take you to the gate."

Jared nodded and indicated for her to go first.

In the tunnel Selmak let Saroosh fore. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

Jared looked at her. "What? Who are you?"

"I am Saroosh… Selmak's host."

There was that word again. Host. They were going to make him a host. He didn't want that. "Your kind murdered my wife," he said shaking. "Let me go." There was something he was missing here, something he should have remembered but couldn't. His head was too full of thoughts and feelings and flashes of memories that weren't his.

Jared's hands moved to his head, cradling it. "It hurts," he whispered.

Jared calm down… let me help.

Jared whirled round. "Who said that?"

"Who said what?" Saroosh asked.

"Told me to calm down."

Lantash smiled, relieved. If Malek was speaking then it meant they had not lost him. "That would be Malek."

Jared looked at him. "What! No… I saw them kill her."

They killed Dayna… the voice whispered.

An overwhelming flood of sadness filled him and Jared suddenly dropped to his knees crying hard. He could see in his mind all the memories of 156 years with Dayna, and what Malek had done at the end to protect her from the assault of the jaffa and the final pain of death.

He knew how alone Malek had been and how he had longed for the company in his mind of his host, but he had protected her and put her to sleep, filling her mind with thoughts of love and memories of their time together. The tears fell in a never ending stream, mixing with his own grief for Sue Lyn.

Selmak put a hand on his shoulder. "You are feeling Malek's grief for Dayna now," she said softly.

Selmak looked at Lantash. "We should take him back to his room, let him grieve there." Together the two of them got Jared back into Malek's room. "You agreed to host Malek to save his life," she said quietly to Jared. "It is Malek's voice you are hearing."

Jared rocked; crying hard and slid off the bed they'd sat him on and back onto the floor. It was all too much, too many emotions and he couldn't cope.

Malek reached out, expanding his presence within Jared, trying to calm him.

Jared cried out in panic, pulling away.

I'm sorry… Malek whispered. I won't hurt you… I was trying to comfort you.

"You're one of them…"

I promise I'm not Malek said. I healed you… your neck, your back… Healed where they tortured you. I can heal other things too… like your kidney disorder.

Jared put his head on his knees, ceasing the rocking as he listened to Malek's calm voice. "You can?" he asked aloud.

Malek nodded. Yes I can. And you don't need to speak aloud when talking to me. Just think your answers in your head.

Jared took a deep breath. Like this?

Yes Malek smiled. And yes… I can heal you completely.

Jared nodded slightly. Kay… thanks.

Lantash looked at Selmak. "I'll leave you to it. The council will want to know he's awake."

Selmak nodded. "No doubt they will. But they can wait for their report until he is ready to give it."

Lantash smiled. "You know the council…"

Selmak looked at him. "I am the council," she said sharply. "The rest of them will wait until we are ready."

Lantash nodded. "I will tell them."

Jared didn't move. He felt sick now, trying to come to terms with the fact he was not only a host but he did it willingly.

I can leave you Malek whispered. We don't take unwilling hosts. It's not easy but if you wish it I can request a new host.

How?

Drugs… a series of very strong drugs…

Jared could feel something coming from Malek with that but wasn't sure what. And what about you?

It is not easy… but I would rather die than stay in an unwilling host. There is no risk to you if I leave.

Just give me a minute here.

Malek nodded and withdrew, leaving Jared alone with his thoughts.

After a minute Jared looked up. "Where did she go?" he asked.

Selmak looked at him. "Lantash left us sometime ago."

"No… Malek… I can't hear her anymore."

Selmak put a hand on Jared's neck. "He's still there. Did you ask him to pull back?"

"I said give me a minute here…"

Selmak smiled. "Then that is what he is doing. He has withdrawn to allow you privacy in your mind. He's still there, you want him all you need do is ask."

"Oh…" Jared said surprised. "And why are you referring to her as male?"

"Because Malek is now male. We assume the gender of our hosts."

Jared nodded. "If you don't mind I would like to be alone for a while." He watched Selmak leave and glanced round the room. If this was Dayna's room there wasn't much to personalise it. Grief flooded him again. I can't do this he thought. I can't let you die but I can't be round this… this reminder of what happened… surrounded by those like the ones that took my wife and unborn son.

Malek nodded. Then let me fore he said gently. You can have control back anytime you want, just ask.

How do I let you fore?

Close your eyes and just pull back into yourself.

Jared nodded and did just that.

Malek hugged him gently and slowly assumed control of the body. How about a bath? he suggested gently. Wash this blood off?

Jared didn't answer.

Malek nodded. Okay… no rush… I am here for you when you are ready. He got to his feet and took a moment to get used to his new body. Taller than Dayna but much lighter on his feet and more agile. You must keep yourself fit he said gently. He picked up the clothes that Selmak had left for him and headed slowly out to the bathing pools, hoping that one would be empty right now. An image of playing sports came into his mind. He smiled. His new host may not be fully comfortable with him yet but he hadn't completely closed himself off.

Malek found an empty pool and stripped off, settling back into the warm water. He slid down so the water came up over his neck, angling the jets so they massaged the right parts of his back and neck.

Jared cried within his mind, mourning those he had lost, unconsciously broadcasting the images to Malek. Then after a while deliberately showing him. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to be here, didn't understand the difference between the Goa'uld and the Tok'ra.

Malek accepted what Jared showed him and then shared with him as much as he felt he could. It will take time he said gently. We have both suffered a great loss. But walk with me?

Jared stirred slightly. Hmmm?

Walk this road with me Malek asked again. We are both lost and so alone right now. I promise I will never leave you or hurt you. Tears filled his eyes suddenly as Jared was overcome with emotion. What's wrong? Malek asked wondering what he had done.

Sobbing hard, Jared showed him the memories of his wedding and how he had used those very words to sing his love to Sue Lyn.

Malek hugged him. I won't ever replace her he whispered. But we can face the future together if you want… overcome whatever trials are before us together.

Jared's sobs gradually ceased. He longed for Sue Lyn and always would do. Kay he whispered, falling silent in his mind losing himself in his memories of his wife.

Malek spoke quietly at the council meeting. He was adamant he was fine, that the blending was a success. When the council pushed to speak to Jared, he defended his host. "He is mourning the loss of his wife!" he snapped. "They almost took him as a host. For the love of Egeria give the man time here. He offered to be my host; he does not wish the blending to be undone."

Garshaw looked at him. "Malek you know the rules. We have to hear it from him."

Malek nodded slowly. I'm sorry… he whispered. They are adamant.

Jared nodded and let Malek push him fore. He looked at the council and his stomach dropped. He seemed to diminish in stature.

Selmak looked at him and then took over asking the questions. She knew how uneasy he felt about this. "How are you doing?" she asked.

Jared shrugged. "Here."

Selmak nodded. "Are you recovered?"

"Malek says so."

Garshaw looked at him. "Are you always this abrupt?"

"Yes."

"Do you wish to remain as Malek's host? Was the blending consensual?"

Jared took a deep breath. "They killed Dayna. The snake was dying. What was I supposed to do?" He winced as Malek thwapped him gently for the snake comment.

Selmak raised an eyebrow. "Snake?"

"Yeah… well that's what you look like so what else do I call you?"

Selmak shook her head. "Do you wish to remain blended?"

"He leaves and he dies right?" He didn't need an answer, he could tell by the looks on their faces that he was right. "Then he stays." He withdrew again abruptly leaving Malek fore.

Selmak looked at him. "You have your hands full there my friend."

Malek smiled. "His flippant attitude covers a multitude of worries and concerns," he said softly. "It's his way. Now if you'll excuse me I must go and rest. It has been a rough few days and neither of us has had much rest."

Selmak nodded. "Of course."

Malek left the room and hurried back to the sanctuary of his room. Jared… he whispered.

Sorry…didn't mean to call you a snake… I just…

I know it's alright… maybe just let me do the talking for now.

That's fine…

Just don't shut me out.

Jared nodded. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend? he asked.

Malek nodded. If you'll be mine?

In answer, Jared sang quietly in their mind, paraphrasing the song he'd sung at his wedding. Somewhere the sunbirds fly in a clear blue sky, only you and I there for ever, Love me, leave me, never. Now you're here and at last our life's begun, all our trials we will overcome in the morning sun. If you walk with me, though I know the road is long, I'll get by with you here to make me strong. More by far than a guiding star above, I'll be with you, Walk with me.

Malek smiled, echoing the sentiment. Always my friend he whispered. He knew it would be a long time before Jared was sufficiently sure of himself and comfortable enough to be fore around the Tok'ra as he just didn't see the difference between them and the Goa'uld. But that was fine. He trusted him and that was what mattered.

Fin

© Tels 24th April 2006