XVI

If I hadn’t become a politician I might have become a glorious actor. But is this really just acting? Or do I have indeed some feelings for her? Just a very few? No, I better should not even think about something like “love” or even “liking”.

She’s a pawn, and she will stay a pawn.

I’m a liar and I’ll stay a liar for the rest of my soulless life.

He took a sip of his coffee while still holding her hands in his hand. Her hands were strong, but somehow gentle as well although she had worked very hard as a slave in her life.

“Please, forgive me…”

“I can’t.”

“Then give me at least a chance to show you how much I really feel for you! Please,…”

“Stop it!” she whispered, “I’m an ex-slave, you’re the Supreme Chancellor. We don’t have any chance, even if I would allow myself to answer your so called love!”

“You know that isn’t true. We indeed have a chance!”

She sighed. He felt his attachment to her, his deep feelings. Palpatine felt her shivering to his touch, but he still didn’t refuse to hold her hands. Her warm hand made him feel somehow comfortable.

Suddenly she took away her hands from his: “I need time…”

“And I need you…”
”No, you don’t.”

“I do, Shmi. Please, let me show you. Come home, love. Please…”

Another sigh, then a third one. Then finally a nod from her and a silent “yes”. He smiled and showed openly his happiness about her decision. She would follow him home, so he could call Anakin to tell him there wouldn’t be any need to worry anymore. Shmi would be safe back home.

Overwhelmed to the outside but satisfied to the inside, he carefully took her in his arms.

“I’d like to kiss you…but I don’t know if I should dare…”

“On the cheek?”

He nodded and kissed her lightly on her cheek, then right next to her lips. So sweet, so soft. She bent away her head in a fast motion, but she didn’t say a word. Shmi accepted his kisses, but showed no will to allow him a passionate one.

“Thank you” he whispered into her ear, caressing her hands.

He had invited Shmi to a late Dinner at some restaurant at the mall and Shmi had agreed to his offer. After eating they had strolled away back to his apartment up in Republica 500. He had tried to hold her hand while walking back, but Shmi’s mind was too confused to let him do this. At once she withdrew her hand from his.

“You need to call your son, Shmi. He had searched you for hours today…”

“I will” she promised him, her eyes wandering up and down the skyline of the city while a repulsor elevator brought them to his private rooms.

“Shmi?” he stepped nearer to her, nearly embracing her already, “I’d like to thank you for this chance you give me. And thank you for this evening in freedom.”

“Freedom?”

“Yes. Outside these walls; my personal prison.”

“You could walk away whenever you want it to” she answered in a whisper.

“Which is why? There’s nobody out there to meet up with,…but you. And I hope we might slip out for a few hours again in the near future, if possible of course.”

Shmi didn’t answer him. She tried to ignore his presence for a while but couldn’t since he stayed next to her all the way in the elevator, trying to give her the comfort Shmi didn’t want to have.

Palpatine sighed and took a step away from her: “You need time I assume. Be assured you’re no longer an employee to my eyes but the woman I love. If there’s anything you need or want to have just tell me!”

“I need anything, thanks.”

“I see” he said which was barely heard by her. He made himself looking sad and longing, but he stayed away from her carefully. The Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and even Darth Sidious had never felt that uneasy and somehow mildly guilty in their life before. Sidious didn’t like the feeling of guilt, but nonetheless it was there, nagging at him. He had done a mistake once when forcing Shmi Skywalker to bore his tool to ultimate power. He had just forgotten Shmi might recognize what he had done to her that night.

Honestly I didn’t thought of seeing her ever again when I’d planned this! Later on I’d prepared myself for different changes in plans since slaves were often sold, freed or even let free by her owners. Maybe I should have her get kidnapped?

I’m 16 years too late…

Too late!

They arrived at his rooms and entered them in silence. It was Palpatine who first found back to his words; once again in a very sad tone. Depressive looking.

“I’m leaving home very early in the morning…”

“Then I will prepare breakfast now to…”

“No, no I didn’t mean that…Shmi, would you allow me to invite you for breakfast at the Senate? I have an hour off at 9:00 so we can meet up in the Great Hall or we stay in my office and I order something to eat.”

“Your office then, not in public”, she answered shyly, pressing her lips together,

“As you wish. Good night, then.”

“Good night.”

She went away with her head sunken looking to the floor. Although strong in her mind or better stronger than he thought she might be, she seemed to be stucked in sad feelings. A sigh later he made his way to his bedroom, changing clothes and got to bed. This day was over, finally. Resuming today’s events made it clear to him, he had to work harder to win Shmi’s heart. She was undecided and insecure and she was the opinion their relationship would never work at all.

That slave whore refused to give me at least a chance…but we’ll see who will laugh to the last, my dear! You’re mine. You’d belong to me since the night I selected you from the rest of the galaxies scum!

Don’t you dare to stand in my way!

Her son had been lucky to hear from her; he had searched for her even longer than Palpatine had thought he would and was just now on his way back to the Temple. Although being ashamed of worry him, she didn’t tell him the truth about her whereabouts.

After that call she contacted Amidalas residence. She thanked the Senator for her support and the offer to stay, but she would work for him a bit longer.

“You stay with him? Even after you…?” Amidalas eyes went wide in surprise.

“He knows I can’t be fooled by him any longer; I know what he has done. I know he does not wear a blank vest!”

“Did he tell you why?”

“If you’d like to call it so…? He said he loves me, that he had loved me even in the night he…came to me.”

“You believe him, don’t you?”

“Honestly I don’t know if he’d tell me the truth instead of lying to get out of the situation.”

“So you decided to give him a chance?”

“Not a chance, Milady, I’ve just given him an option.”

Yes, an option. I don’t know yet if he will ever even deserve any chance at all!

Shmi woke up late in the morning. She had just an hour left to prepare for the day and leave for his office to meet him for breakfast. Getting fast on her feet she headed to the bathrom for taking a shower, dressed herself afterwards and put her make-up on.

His private shuttle flew her to the Senate’s offices building where his office was, on one of the higher floors. After landing at the docking bay she entered the Senate with slow steps.

Finally she stopped at the entrance door to the Chancellors office. It was a few minutes before 9. She stepped in but had to wait in his antechamber because he had some visitors in who had asked for an appointment on an urgent subject.

Sate Pestage, his advisor and friend, came to her; a friendly smile on his elderly face: “Good morning, Shmi. The Chancellor has already ordered breakfast that is served in his back office. Please follow me.”

Shmi’s answer was a shy “Thank you.”

Pestage led her through the inner floor of the Chancellors office that consisted of at least four official rooms plus a small private area in which the Chancellor was able to spend the night if his duties took him too long. With a gesture he showed her to the laid table in the back office and asked her to take a seat.

“Palpatine will be there shortly.”

He told the service unit to offer Shmi tea and coffee or any refreshments available, and then left for his work again. Shmi was sure they would be disturbed the minute they started a conversation. Palpatine had a stressful job and just very limited time for a private life. There were rumours that more than one Chancellor’s marriage was broken after stepping in this office. Chancellor Palpatine wasn’t married and had never been married, but he was longing for a relationship with her. Not just a simple friendship as she had thought first, but a partnership including love, warmth and tenderness. Passion.

Starring at the fine porcelain she waited for him to arrive. Shmi was able to listen to small glimpses of conversation taking place in his main office down the corridor. There were two beings with him in his office; a man and a female, he about in his thirties, she very young…according to the sound of their muffled or voices.

It didn’t take long until the conversation ended and Palpatine came down the corridor towards her. Smiling in her direction he greeted her.

“Shmi! How good to see you!” he bent forward to her, kissing her cheek in a slow motion. Shmi felt his soft lips, his warm breath on her bare skin. She shivered.

“Good morning, Palpatine”, she answered. He seated himself next to her and asked for coffee. A service unit poured him a cup and then stood silent in the edge of the room.

“Anakin called this morning” he started a talk but Shmi just looked up, her face emotionless.

“Did he?”

“Yes, he indeed was worried about you,…after your disappearance yesterday. He requested me to have an eye on you, but I just answered him I would have learnt about the background of yesterday’s events and would have understood your reasons.”

They had breakfast together, their conversation run ineffectively. Shmi might be less shy than once but still confused about the relation between the events that had forced her life into its directions. Palpatine on the other hand was very talkative and did most of the talking himself.

“What are your plans for today, Shmi, dear?”

“My plans? The household, your household is my daily work, Sir. I have to do the laundry, the food shopping and the cooking for dinner.”

“We could cook together…if you permit me to enter the kitchen.”

“So, you want to help me out with peeling vegetables?” she mocked him openly, “The Chancellor himself wearing a dirty apron over his expensive robe; what a sight!”

“My offer to help you was a serious one” he whispered and suddenly Shmi felt silent again, stopped in the middle of a sentence. She sighed.

“I beg your pardon, Sir. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s all right” his answer was short und sound pressed through his lips. After sighing he finished his breakfast nearly untouched and stood up, “Excuse me. We see each other tonight.”

In a hurry Shmi as well got up: “Sir, I…”

The Chancellor stopped and went back to her.

“I’ve said it’s all right, Shmi!” he repeated a bit too harsh, but then his face went mild. Shmi didn’t know what happened to her when he took her in his arms in a sudden and then pressed his lips hungrily on hers for a first passionate kiss.