|Napoleon Dynamite: The Sweet Sequel
Author: Valandil PM
Napoleon goes on another ridiculous adventure to find a phone so he could talk to Kip. What will happen? One shot.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Words: 800 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10-07-06 - id: 3187342
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This story takes place after the movie. Kip and Lafonduh moved to California and Napoleon still lives with his Grandma.
Napoleon was watching television while his grandma was cleaning the house.
"Can I have burrito?" Napoleon asked.
"Because you have to feed the lama. Here are some snickers."
"Are you nuts? They will kill it, gosh!"
"Whatever. Then just give it some of Uncle Rico's steak that he left here 3 months ago."
While he was walking outside, he remembered about calling Kip. Napoleon threw the steak at the lama, and then hurried back into the house.
"Can I call Kip?"
"Well, I had to take the phone off the wall to clean behind it…"
"Why would you have to clean behind the stupid phone?"
"Here is a hammer. Find some nails and put the phone back up."
"Why can't you do it?"
"Don't speak that way to me, mister!"
Napoleon started to look for the hammer, but he couldn't find it.
"You, know," Napoleon said, "If we moved to China, we won't have to put up the phone. all that we'll need is a genie."
"You believe in that crud?"
"It's true. That is how Aladdin survived."
"Just get the hammer."
When he found the hammer, he also found the nails. He walked back to where the phone was, and tried to hammer it back up. But instead, he hammered the nail into his hand.
"What is it?"
"Give me a paper tower. My hand is bleeding."
"We are out. Go wash it off in the bathroom."
Luckily only the tip of the nail pierced his hand, but the way Napoleon acted, it was as if he was going to die.
He ran to the bathroom and washed his hand off.
"Dang, it looks as if I got scratched by a liger."
Later Napoleon found out that there weren't any nails left.
"How am I supposed to call Kip if we can't use the phone."
"Well, buy more nails."
Napoleon walked around in the super market looking for nails and buying stuff like chap stick. He walked into the frozen food section and saw microwavable tater tots.
"Yes! Finally. I've been waiting for some dude to make these for like, 5 years."
Some random kid, no older than 7 tugged on Napoleon's shirt.
"What do you want?"
"Do you know where the toy isle is, mister?" the kid said in a very innocent voice.
"How am I supposed to know? I stopped playing with those stupid things 3 years ago, gosh."
The boy started to cry really loudly and Napoleon didn't know what to do.
"Uh, whose the mother of this brat?"
A woman walked up to him.
"What have you done to my Charley?"
"Nothing. He just started to cry."
"Did you hurt him?"
"No, why will I hurt a kid?'
Some police dudes started to hit Napoleon with their guns.
"Ouch! Dang! Watch it!" Napoleon yelled as he was getting bruises all over his arms.
After five minutes, the police let him go.
"Sorry, about that, son."
"Yeah, watch it punk."
"What did you say?"
"Uh, your shoes untied." Napoleon lied as he ran away all the way home.
His grandmother saw him running to the house.
"So, did you get the nails?"
"Uh, no. they were, uh, out."
"Well, what are you going to do now?"
"I think I have an idea," Napoleon said as he took a butterfly net and ran outside.
The grandmother waited 3 hours before Napoleon walked back inside.
"What did you do?" she asked.
"I caught a pigeon."
"Instead of calling Kip, maybe I can send him a note by tying it to the pigeon and having the pigeon bring it to him."
"Can't you just mail him a letter?"
"Oh yeah, I forget about that." Napoleon said as he let the bird out of the net.
After writing the letter, he went to bed.
Napoleon and Pedro were sitting together at lunch.
"How did you get those bruises?" Pedro asked in his Mexican accent.
" I fought a bear." Napoleon answered.
"Oh. So did you mail your brother the letter?"
"Yeah, I did. I couldn't call him because the phone as disconnected."
"My brothers have cell phones. Have you ever had one?"
"I don't know how to work those stupid phones, gosh!"
Napoleon noticed that Pedro had some tater tots on his plate.
"Did you know that some scientists invented microwavable tots?"
"Speaking of which, can I have your tots?"
I hoped you liked it. Please review if you read it. And I don't own Napoleon Dynamite.