A/N and Disclaimer: I swear they made me do this disclaimer to torcher (omg, I cant spell that word!) me with the truth. I Don’t own anything CSI (except the dvds and some novels) including characters... whatever else one owns. I do however own responsibility for these words below, which I wrote because I have been noticing a lot of character death fics, so I figured I would jump on the bandwagon. Anyway, here it is. It’s GSR of course, but pre-cannon established relationship.

---

What it meant to lose her

They brushed her hair today,

It’s shiny soft and brown

I fondle a lock in my fingers,

Then gently set it down.

The way they did her makeup,

Her lips like roses in May,

I think she would have liked it,

I cast my eyes away.

Catherine picked her dress out,

No doubt she would approve,

It’s not too much, just perfect,

I try to force my feet to move.

Nick whispers that it’s time,

With tears glistening in his eyes,

He tells me they are waiting,

And so I must find the words

to say goodbye.

I begged Jim to be lying,

When I got the call,

I asked him why his voice was

choked,

Why was he in the hospital?

He said something about “incident”,

Behind the yellow tape,

The officer didn’t hear her screams,

Until it was too late.

I wish I would have had the courage,

To run my fingers through her hair,

When she could have felt it,

When there was still part of her

alive in there.

Her eyes are closed!

I need to see them,

I cant remember

Enough about her,

I need her back, O God, I need her,

I cant go on without her.

They carried her away today,

I couldn’t seem to speak,

A quote, I need a quote,

Then I softly, sadly say:

“My heart still aches in sadness

and secret tears still flow.

What it meant to lose you,

no one will ever know."

By,

Robyn Gerris

---

Please please please review! I would really appreciate it, I really would. Even if you just write "thumbs up" (lol, that was cocky) or for Karma’s sake "thumbs down."

Thanks so much! love