Wait, I’m updating? Apocalypse!! (Halleluiah chorus is heard.) Yeah…I had no ideas at first, but then I was doing an RP with 2wingo and I had Sam say, “He reminded me of the guy my parents almost had me marry.” That inspired an idea. Sam’s parents seem like the type of people that would force Sam into an arranged marriage, right? Exactly. And so, with references to both Phantom Planet and my next gen series, here be the next chapter! Unfortunately it’s more about the plot then the actual humor, so not really funny, but still funny. Not perverted stuff, mostly. And it’s in Sammy’s point of view and they’re 18.

Thanks to my reviewers: DPRRluvJ13MM, Strix Moonwing, angel-phantom-babii, and Stella Phantom. And being 1 review away from 100, whoever gets that all mighty review will get a one-shot request for this story or it’s equal and opposite twin The Angst Files! So review, people, review! Oh, and yes, next chapter, being twenty and all, you will get the gang finding this fanfic. (Laughs evilly.)

I was late, I was late! My parents had told me to be at the house by six and my waitressing job at the Nasty Burger had held me up and now I was late! Knowing my parents and their eternal peppiness I was doomed.

Normal kids have good relationships with their parents, or at least as good as parental and children relationships can get. My parents were Stepford material while I was their gothic rebellious daughter dating the scientific marvel of the world. But I wouldn’t be living with them much longer. I was eighteen, it was summer, and once I went to the University of Wisconsin with Danny I would be free from their never-ending rainbow tirades.

I burst into the door to see my parents both looking irritated. “We told you to be here half an hour ago, Samantha. The Richardsons will be here any minute, and you’re hardly dressed.” (AN: Yes, the Richardsons are OCs.)

I had half a mind to eat dinner in my uniform since the Richardsons hate me anyways, but I’d had enough of bothering my parents for now so I changed into a little black dress with a light purple shawl and high heels. I went back down the stairs to see they were already there and had brought their ignoramus of a son, Douglas.

Douglas was your typical rich boy that my parents were always trying to pair me up with. He skated through his classes and wouldn’t have a future if his family wasn’t loaded. We used to play together, though I say play in the loosest sense of the word. He’d insult me and pull my hair and whenever I tried tattling on him Mom would tell me he did it because he liked me. Of course Tucker had a crush on me back then also, and he was nice to me except for puking in my lunch box, but that was an accident. I think…

“So your mother tells me you’re working at the, uh, Gassy Burger,” Mr. Richardson said with a slight tone of disgust.

“It’s nasty,” I corrected.

“Then why do you work there?” Ms. Richardson asked clinging to her cocktail.

“No, I mean it’s the Nasty Burger. That’s the name of where I work.” Strike one.

“I thought you were a vegetarian,” Douglas pointed out, something he disagreed with being a steak and lobster lover. Tucker and he would’ve gotten along.

“I am, ultra-recyclo, to be precise. But I rebel by putting pictures of dead cows in all the bathroom stalls.” Strike two.

“Wouldn’t you get fired?”

“Oh no, I say the Lunch Lady ghost did it.” There was no response to that. I think they were too surprised. “Well since my boyfriend is Danny Phantom I get to hunt ghosts a lot, so it’s normal.”

“Hunting?!”

“Ghosts?”

“You’re dating that half dead guy?”

Strike three and it wasn’t even dinner yet. I was on a roll!

Dinner went by and we were having dessert. I’d given myself three more strikes just by talking about my plans for the future. “Well she certainly hasn’t gotten rid of her rough qualities,” Ms. Richardson said referring to me.

“Yes, but she’s beginning to mellow. She’s not wearing as much black,” Mom pointed out.

“That’s because I’m usually wearing my fast food uniform or lab coats.” Strike seven. And by lab coats I meant me interning at Axion Labs and Fentonworks.

“She’s always been a very driven young woman. She could be very good in business,” Mr. Richardson said.

“With a little polishing, of course,” Ms. Richardson added.

“What are you talking about?” I asked kind of loudly.

“Marriage, of course. Douglas has always liked you and it’d be a very good business move,” Mr. Richardson answered.

“Marriage?! What the –”

Gotta catch them all, ‘cuz he’s Danny Phantom!

My apologies for that musical interruption, readers, but once I stop cursing I don’t stop.

There was a silence in the room as aneurisms were formed. “Well, Samantha, it’s common to marry for business reasons, and you and Douglas would make a good match,” Mom explained.

“Common for who?!” I replied in a squeaky voice.

“Well, for us,” Dad answered.

I could tell I was going to start cussing again, so I ran up to my room, called Danny, and begged him to take me away. We invisibly threw water balloons at innocent pedestrians. Our ideas of fun are very strange.

“You know what the worst part is? If I marry him I wouldn’t be able to do stuff like this. He doesn’t get me like you do,” I said aiming a balloon at Dash and his dog.

“You don’t have to marry him, Sam,” Danny repeated as Dash screamed at the sky in euro-goth style.

“I know, but-”

“But what? We’re going to college in a month and then it won’t matter what your parents think. We could even get married if we wanted too.”

“Don’t even joke, Danny,” I scolded.

He didn’t answer but instead dumped a water cooler on Mr. Lancer’s head.

In my efforts to convince the Richardsons I wasn’t fit for marriage I pulled every trick I knew. But it seemed no matter what I did they were oblivious to my efforts. Finally my parents pushed me aside and said it “seemed like I was trying to ruin the wedding arrangements.”

“I’m eighteen. I want to focus on college, not starting a family.”

“We anticipated this, which is why we changed your trust fund. It used to be that you’d receive ten million dollars once you were eighteen and living on your own, but now if you do not marry you will be disinherited.”

Not the D word! After asking to see the papers so I could look for loopholes, (there were none,) it seemed like if I ever wanted to buy Axion Labs for research like I had planned I would have to rob a bank.

“Why do you want to buy Axion Labs again?” Danny asked after I explained the situation.

“I think ectoplasm has traces of electricity in it,” I answered simply.

“The Fenton ecto-converter proves that,” He agreed.

“Yes, but I think once you use it for it’s electricity you can put it back in the ghost zone and it’ll eventually renew itself. If ectoplasm’s a renewable energy source it could solve our energy crisis! And Tucker’s good with technology, I could hire him, get some government funding and we could have a whole line of technology!”

“And where in your master plan would I fit in?” Danny asked jokingly.

“Space technology, of course,” I replied. “But if I don’t have the trust fund, I have no money, and if I don’t have any money I don’t have a plan.”

Danny sighed and muttered something to himself. I couldn’t hear exactly what he said, though the word “ring” might have been mentioned. I couldn’t tell…

Insert the musical montage where I ruin everything to show my parents that marrying me off is bad. For optimal effect use a song like “One Way or Another.” It’s been used in more movies than I can count and is therefore very annoying, but it works.

I was in my room doing experiments in a very mad-scientist way when I heard someone knocking on my window. Thinking it was Danny I opened the window in a very sexy way only to see Douglas.

“Stalker!” I screamed. “How’d you get up here?!”

“You seemed like you wanted me here,” He replied in a horny sounding voice. “And next time you sneak out after dark try pulling your rope ladder back into your bedroom.” Darn it, I knew I was forgetting something when I snuck to that concert with Danny!

“I thought you were my boyfriend,” I snapped. “And he can fly, so he has an excuse for being up here.”

“What does he have that I don’t?”

“A brain,” I answered truthfully.

“I’m serious, Samantha.”

“So am I, Doug.”

“Don’t call me Doug.”

“Don’t call me Samantha!”

And his lips were suddenly against mine, and I hated it. I pulled him away with a slap and screamed, “I have a boyfriend, you pervert!” And no, this was not one of those cases where I said I didn’t like it but I secretly liked it. Danny and I were dating, we were in love, and we had an intimate relationship. Hence, Douglas kissing me tasted like poison.

“I’ve loved you since we were little,” Douglas said desperately.

“And I used to wear pink dresses when we were little. Things change. I still hate you.”

“That just makes you more desirable…God, Samantha, you’re so smart and rebellious, I love everything about you! Our parents are making us get married, but if you let me I’ll show you just how much I love you!” He begged.

I’ve been around ghosts for four years, so I know when one’s around. There’s a drop in the room’s temperature, and you can kind of sense one’s there. So I winked in Danny’s direction and said slowly and seductively, “Wow, Douglas, I didn’t know you felt that way.” I attacked him in a furious kiss and backed him towards the open window. Danny moved with me and I suddenly pushed Douglas out, knowing that Danny would catch him. Because murder is bad, little children, very bad. And so, Danny caught him invisibly hoping Douglas would be creeped out.

“You witch!” He spat unaware that he was hovering in the air.

“Oh, Danny was going to catch you!” I said through my laughter.

“Danny?!” He squeaked realizing he was defying the laws of science.

“Yeah, Danny Phantom. My boyfriend.”

Danny suddenly made himself visible and said in a creepy low voice, “Hello little child.” Douglas responded by running away screaming. “And here I was thinking he was threatening you.”

“No, but if he was I would’ve given him a nutcracker,” I replied.

He sighed and we both plopped on my bed. “We need to do something about this.”

“I tried looking for loopholes, but there were none,” I moaned. “Face it, if I want the money I have to get married.”

A light bulb seemed to go off in Danny’s head as he said excitedly, “Do you have to marry who they tell you to?”

“What?”

“Does it say you have to marry who your parents tell you to, or do you just have to get married?”

“I think I just have to get married…”

The door opened and there was a popping sound. “Haste to the wedding!” Grandma hollered holding a bottle of champagne.

“…you’re early…” Danny said slowly.

“Oh…my bad.” She walked back out and I looked at Danny weirdly.

“Dang it…you want an explanation, don’t you?” He asked fiddling with his shirt collar. I nodded, so he said slowly, “Well, I’ve been thinking, and if you really want to get the trust fund you’ll need to get married, so why not marry someone who really cares about you?” He got on one knee and held out the Wes ring. “Sam, will you marry me?”

And I burst out laughing. Here I was, in my bedroom, wearing a lab coat with my hair acting on its own accord, and Danny was asking me to marry him! With the Wes ring! There was a sudden change in his face and I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. He was not only offering me a solution, but a life by his side, and I’d laughed about it in his face! And I called him clueless… “Oh god, Danny, I thought…”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said putting the ring away. “It was a stupid idea anyway.”

“No it’s not! If there’s anything stupid around here it’s me! I’m the one who was so busy whining about my problems that I didn’t even notice you were going to ask me to marry you…If it’s not too late, my answer is yes.”

“Have you asked her yet?!” Grandma suddenly screamed through the door.

“She said yes!”

“Woo-hoo!” She had already opened the bottle, so she just started pouring the champagne.

We were making plans when Grandma pointed out that we couldn’t get married with the Wes ring. “Your mother will hate me for this, but,” she pulled out a black box that I opened and exclaimed,

“Grandma, this is your wedding ring!”

“And Duke’s. Ever since he passed away I’ve been saving them.”

I was in awe and couldn’t speak, but she understood.

And so after some planning today was the day. The wedding colors were baby blue and lavender, (since that was the color of our eyes,) and despite the general appearance that someone had puked a rainbow it couldn’t have been prettier. Tucker was the best man and Jazz was the maid of honor, and my parents had only come because “Think of how it would look if we didn’t show up!” But I had broken the tradition of the father giving the bride away and instead asked Grandma to walk with me. Tucker was still wearing his beret, Jazz was giving gooey eyes to her college sweetheart Phil, and Valerie and Danielle looked stunning in their bridesmaid dresses. The actual ceremony was interrupted three times, the first time by Vortex and Undergrowth destroying the town, the second time by a group of nicer ghost who wanted to see the ceremony since marriage enabled a one-year truce, (This also applies to birth and death,) and the third time a bunch of paparazzi came in wanted pictures only to be shoved out the door by Dorathea after she “dragoned up.” But we finally said our “I do’s,” and were joined together in the sanctity of marriage.

The reception was, if possible, even crazier. Johnny proposed to Kitty, the Lunch Lady threw meat everywhere claiming I had changed the menu, and since I’m not a ghost and therefore not enabled to the truce, I thermosed her. The thermos was then lost which was unfortunate since I swear I saw something shiny in the Box Ghost’s pocket. Valerie and Skulker got into an animated discussion about ghost hunting, which unfortunately started a ghost hunting contest between them and Danny’s parents. (No ghosts were harmed in the making of this story, though the same can’t be said for the reception hall…)

I was taking a break from dancing when I was approached by my mom. “Well, this wedding has certainly been…unorthodox.”

“If Douglas had been the groom I’d have done a runaway bride, Mom,” I said honestly.

“I can only hope you haven’t thrown your future away.”

“Danny and I are going to wait until we graduate from college to have kids, then I’m going to buy Axion Labs and we’ll both work there,” I said telling her the plan for the first time.

“Your grandmother is a lot like you, Samantha,” Mom explained. “She used to say I was a lot like her mother, which suggests the daughters in our family have similar personalities. If the pattern continues, your daughter will be a lot like me.”

Oh good lord, I’d give birth to a perkington! “However, I’m sure you’ll accept her for who she is a lot faster then I’ve accepted you.” Was Mom apologizing? APOCALYPSE!!! “And so I will let you live your own life if you let me teach your daughter to be a debutante when she turns sixteen.” So close, but I gladly accepted. After all, if she was rebellious like me she could always be the first debutante in a pure black dress.

I started dancing with Danny again and told him what Mom had said. “That makes you want to have a child even faster, doesn’t it?” Danny said with a hint of pervert in his voice.

“Oh yes,” I answered smugly.

“Wait until we graduate from college, Sammy, and then I’ll sweep you off your feet the way you deserve,” he said quietly.

The music played and we swayed with it until I said, “Want to start a food fight with the wedding cake?”

“You’re on.”

Yes, I imagine Danny and Sam acting like that when they’re dating. And they still act like that when they have kids of their own. And speaking of kids, yes, their daughter Lilleth, (so original,) is a perky chick in my world. To be fair though my other kid, (Cookies if you can remember his name from last chapter!) is quite emo. Sometimes.

No, it’s not really a funny-funny story, but it still has it’s moments. Now, to explain the review thing:

It has to be an actual review. No insult only reviews, no “I like it” or “update soon reviews.” Yes, you can put those in your reviews, but you have to get specific.

If you want something specific to happen, you must tell me. I am a writer, and my stories have their own mind. And yes, I do write mature stuff. However, if it’s above PG-13 it’ll be on deviantart. Also, no cliché stories please. They bug the heck out of me, and I don’t do one unless I want to do one.

Have fun!

As for next chapter, it’s the ultimate “They find out about this fanfic!” chapter. The characters are canon as of Phantom Planet, (Danny hasn’t revealed himself, he and Sam aren’t dating, etc,) and you’ll see the returns of some of my older crappy chapters. Fun. And just so you know, I’m a typical artist. I hate half the stuff I write/draw at the time I do it and end up hating it anyways a couple of months later. Whatever.