Prompted by lakewater :)
Hope you like it!

Finally, a non-gloomy chap again!!

Thanks to Rodney McKay for the help :D

What if ...
The team was turned into rebellious teenagers?

“Colonel – I mean, Johnny, you will come down at once!”
“NO!“

“I am warning you – if you don't come down from that joist, there will be no desert for you and your team tonight!”'

“Hey, that's unfair!”

“Like I care!”

Dr Weir stepped back as the teenager jumped down, landing on his feet gracefully. The Kid was more like a cat than a boy in most aspects – for one, he never did what he was told.

“I thought we had a deal, John Sheppard?”

He tried to tower her (which almost made her grin, for he was still 15 cm shorter than her), his brown eyes bright with anger.

“You said if I behaved, you would let me go to the mainland with Major Lorne! But you didn't! So, why should I keep up with that inane rules of yours! You suck!”

Elizabeth counted to ten before retorting to his accusations. She had dealt with warlords and politicians so corrupt it made want to punch them right in the face; certainly a 13 year old teenager wouldn't made her lose her temper. When she finally spoke, her voice was cutting and cold as ice, and it pleased her to see how Johnny flinched.

“First of all, those inane rules as you call them are necessary to keep you and your friends from running into trouble bigger than we can fix. Second, you didn't behave all day, so I do not see how you can accuse me for being the one to break the deal. And third – what gave you the idea that I wouldn't let you go with Major Lorne?”

John finally lifted his eyes and stared at her confused.

“But – I thought you had – but you said nobody would be going offworld this week, and all missions had been canceled!”

Elizabeth fought the urge to run her hand through John's spiky hair or hug him. He was just to adorable at times.

“Yes, but that doesn't include trips to the mainland John – you should know me better than to think I would break a promise. So, will you do what I tell you and be a good boy, or should I radio Lorne and-”

John grinned at her, saluting and almost knocking himself out with the momentum.

“No Ma'am!! Corporal Sheppard at your command!”

She shook her head at him, smiling.

“Then I'll have you cleaned your room until 7:00 pm, have some dinner and meet Major Lorne 7:30 pm in the jumper bay.”

“Roger!”

He was gone before Dr Weir could add that she would personally spank him if he gave Evan a hard time. But she could worry about that when they returned on Monday; for two blissful days, there were only three rebellious teenagers left on Atlantis.

“You've been - thunderstruck, thunderstruck Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck-”

“RONON! TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!”

Elizabeth used her best death stare on the boy, which was surprisingly easy seeing what he had done to his room. Ronon looked at her nonchalantly, but eventually stopped the song.

“What do you want – woman.”

Suddenly all the reasons why she never wanted to have children came knocking at her door at once. She smiled sweetly, displaying a line of dangerous perfect white teeth.

“As much as I hate to disturb your fun, but other people have to work tomorrow, and would look like to get to sleep tonight. Do you copy me?”

Ronon played with his black and pink colored dreads, blocking her out completely. Seeing this, Elizabeth choose a different approach.

“Look, I know you are angry because I didn't let you go to the mainland too-”

Finally Ronon looked at her, his face set in anger.

“You have no idea!! This is unfair, why do you allow that idiot John to go, while I have to stay here! Atlantis sucks, for real!”

Sighing, Elizabeth sat down on a chair, careful to not come in contact with the greasy paint covering the armrest. She had never been good at dealing with underage people; this was way worse than a four nations conference over borders and oil reserves.

“To be honest Ronon, I just didn't think Major Lorne would be able to handle the both of you – I don't even want to think what would happen if all four of you were to go on the mainland.”

Ronon huffed at her annoyed.

“Oh yes, and so you let Johnny go, while I stay here? You always favor him! You don't like me at all!”

Elizabeth arched her eyebrows.

“I do like you very much Ronon; Remember, I made both of you the same offer, if you behave, I'll let you go to the mainland for the whole weekend. But as I recall it, John wasn't the one who pierced his earlobes this afternoon with an unsterilized needle and put metal rings into the wounds.”

Ronon had the grace to at least partially blush and avoid her gaze.

“Carson said it will heal... and it does look cool...”

“Ronon, being cool isn't as important as you may think - safety and health always come first.”

“Yeah... maybe...”

Elizabeth smiled at him, this time for real.

“So, how about I invite you on a late chocolate ice cream special?”

His eyes lit up, telltale sign of how much of a child he was deep inside despite his gruff demeanor.

“With waffle and syrup?”

“But only if you don't tell Rodney...”

“My lips are sealed!”

So only Teyla and Rodney were left to deal with... But well, Carson was examining the kid genius right now, so she didn't have to worry about him at least.

“Let go! I don't want to! Leave me alone!”

“Rodney, will you shut up for a minute!! This is just a scanner, this is not going to harm you, you stupid bugger!”

“I said leave me alone!”

The boy kicked him in the abdomen, aiming low and using as much force as possible. Carson swore under his breath and strapped Rodney's leg down, using heavy gaelic words Radek was glad to not be able to understand.

“What a pity we can't sedate him... Not even Ronon has been this troublesome. You okay Carson?”

“Yes. Lets get this test over with.”

“I hate you, you, you – you slayer!!”

“Can we start before I think about killing him?”

Radek was sure he would see a small thunder cloud forming any minute over Carson's head.

“Uhm, right... Ready when you are.”

Rodney's eye went huge as they shove him into the scanner, and gratefully he was to stunned to continue yelling at them.

“See Rodney? It's not even half as bad...”

Carson visibly relaxed, listening to the soft hum of the equipment only. He was blue and green all over, having to restrain four struggling, unwilling teenagers. Teyla had even gone as far as to bite him actually. But this was the last patient for today; his mind was already occupied with the special bottle of whiskey he had secretly brought with him.

“Hey, Rodney, are you pouting? Common lad, don't be such a silly-”

“Stop ... it... hurts...”

Radek and Carson shared a concerned look.

“Rodney? Are you alright?”

Instead of an answer, they only got a pitiful whine, which had Carson's hand on the abort panel in a second. When they pulled him out, the boy was shivering badly, tears streaming down his face.

“It's okay lad, it's okay, where does it hurt? You don't have to be scared, we're just loosening the restrictions...”

The two adults hurried to free the child, checking him for excoriations or bruises. They were to worried over his arms and legs to notice the sudden change on his face.

“Man, you are sooooo easy to fool!”

Laughing, he slipped down from the gurney and ran for the infirmary doors. He turned around for a second, sticking out his tongue.

“You'll never get me, you losers!”

The scientist and the doctor remained still for another few minutes, until they both felt safe to go after the boy without straggling him the second they got their hands on him.

This was going to be a long, long night.

“Oh sweetie, won't you let me in? It's me, Kate.”

“No! Go away!!”

Judging by her voice, the girl had been crying the whole time since she had locked herself up after lunch.

“I just want to help you Teyla. If you don't tell me what happened, I can't.”

“You wouldn't understand!”

Kate sighed inwardly, she had long ago stopped counting how often she heard this very accusation.

“Why don't you tell me what happened, and we'll see if I can understand you? Trying won't hurt honey.”

So far, Teyla had been the only one on the rejuvenates team which hadn't given her a hard time; Ronon refused to talk to her at all, Sheppard tried to impress her and get her out on a date and McKay thought they were a bunch of aliens trying to get him to work for the dark side, whatever that meant. But now, even she was locking her out – literally – and refused to cooperate.

“Did somebody say something mean to you?”

“No... it's just...”

“Yes?”

“He talked to her... and she – and she kissed him! On the lips! In front of my eyes!”

Teyla was sobbing again.

“Who? Who was kissing whom Teyla?”

“Dr Watson kissed Major Phonter... and he kissed her back... I wanna die...”

“Oh.”

Kate was glad the girl couldn't see her right now – but she couldn't help smiling. So this was what was going on. Lovelorn.

“I am so sorry honey... I remember when my first big crush dumped me... I was so devastated...”

She didn't add the bit where she had realized what jerk he had been for real and how glad she was to have ditched him. In Teyla's word, love was still a romantic, rose colored thing based on wishful thinking and fiction.

“But you have to be strong honey. If you truly love him, you must wish for him to be happy, right? Love also means to let go, if the other can only be happy this way.”

God, she sounded so much like the heroine of a tragic love novel it made her cringe. But apparently, she had hit the right nerve, for the doors slid open. Teyla looked miserable, but smiled brave.

“You are right Kate. If Dr Watson can make him happy, I'm happy as well.”

“Oh my dear, dear sweet girl, you are so wonderful.”

Kate hugged her tenderly, fighting the urge to burst out in laugher, for this was just too adorable. But for the sake of Teyla, she had to act mature and wise, for she sure would misinterpret her amusement.

“Doc? Beckett?”

Lorne scanned the infirmary, holding our for the Scottish doctor. Carefully, he lay his cargo down on an empty bed.

“Geez, Dr Weir will be so pissed when she hears about this... I would hate to be you in the morning, and not only for the joy of living through your first hangover once more.”

Voices draw near; Lorne wondered who had gotten Beckett this worked up, for he was using his best and most vivid curses ever.

“You ungrateful bairn! You idiotic ' erse!! You might have died, you dimwitted Bampot!!”

As he stormed into the infirmary, Lorne could already phantom what had happened. The Scott was drenched and furious, dragging a sobbing and also drenched Rodney behind him who held his cheek. Zelenka followed the two in a respectful distance, to neither get wet nor anger Beckett even more.

“Just wait you Eedjit until I – ah no, not him too! What the hell happened to him?”

Lorne gave them a brief update, carefully aware of the fowl mood the chief medic was in.

“We arrived at the mainland, help the Athosians with their harvest, I thought he was tired to the bone and would sleep until tomorrow – but apparently he snuck out and got himself boiling drunk on the moonshine the Athosians brew. To make a long story short, once he stopped retching, I got him in the jumper and came back to have him check over. Yours?”

He pointed to the shivering boy who sat on a bed close by, stripped of his wet clothes and wrapped in a blue blanket. Rodney ducked as Carson's whithering stare hit him.

“That son of a cow and a sheep run away during a test; in the end I had to drag him out of the ocean or he might have drowned – which would have suited him quite well!”

This time Rodney's crying was for real, and Beckett almost felt sorry for him. The boy had been scared to death when the current got hold of him; he was a decent enough swimmer, but he would have drowned if Carson hadn't jumped right after him. The slap on the face hadn't been necessary, but Carson had been just as scared as Rodney. He maybe was one of the worst brats ever, but he still was nothing but a child. He would have never forgiven himself if something had happened to the boy.

“I sure hope your calculations are right Radek, and they evolve back after Monday... I wouldn't survive dealing with them for much longer.”

Radek handed him a pair of dry scrubs and sighed.

“You are not the only one my friend. Promise me to not stop me from harming them if any of them ever ignores my warnings again to touch anything labeled 'juvenilator'.”

Carson nodded at him grimly, looking at the 'patients'.

“You have my word on it. No more youngsters on Atlantis.”

“Hu? Ronon, since when do you wear earrings?”

“Earrings?”

“Didn't you notice?”

“No... strange...”

“Must be a marines joke or so. But they do look good on you, in fact they make you almost look like a rock star.”

“Ha Ha, very funny Sheppard, lets found the Kings of the Stones Ages or what... By the way, is it just me or is time passing really fast these days? I barely recall this weekend at all.”

“Must be you getting old McKay.”

“Oh will you shut up? Your just as old as I am – hey, look, simultaneous coffee chocking! Lorne, Heightmeyer, Carson, Elizabeth and Zelenka - Five people, that must be official lantean record!”