Desire

I felt it then; the love, or, at least, what I thought to be love. I was overcome by it that day, that day when she stumbled from the boat, and into me. She looked in my eyes for just a short time (and such a surprised look she wore), and then, I couldn't help it; My arms were around her in a tight embrace, and my lips were tight against hers in a fierce and passionate kiss. It seemed to be perfect; the sunset, the kiss, she and I. It was just... right. I thought we were perfect... and we almost were. I just needed to become human... for her.

That was our only kiss, and I treasured it, for it was so.

Then, things happened in a blur. Naraku made us believe that we had betrayed each other. She struck an arrow through my heart, being her last dying action (though, not her last request), and I fell into a deep sleep because of the spell that the arrow cast. For fifty years I slept; a deep, dreamless sleep. I was to sleep forever. But, in fact, it was only fifty years.

It was She who woke me up. She, who pulled the arrow from my heart. She, who I threatened to kill that long time ago. She, who, later, became my companion, my voice of reason, and my best friend. She accepted me for me; not for my human side, but me. The hanyou; the outcast.

But I still thought of her.

How could I not? I had loved her, hadn't I? Even though it had been fifty years... even though she struck the arrow through my heart... even though she was dead. I couldn't remove her from my mind, no matter how much time went by, or how much she was pushed to the back of my mind. Because... because she had become the closest person to me since my mother... since my mother died. She accepted me... well, my human side, at least. I'm pretty sure she accepted me on the whole, but she accepted my human side in particular. But it was still ME! Maybe a half of me, but still; she hadn't run away when we first met. Granted, she pinned me to a tree because of my haori, but she still... we still talked. We grew to care for each other. You cannot just forget one who shows such kindness.

But She made it so easy to do so, it was almost sinful. Even, sometimes (though I'd never admit it to either woman), She made it seem like there was no before; that it had always been just Her. In those moments... I was free from every other loosly-made promise, from the vow of going to Hell with the before... It was just Her. I... I knew I was In Love again.

But, was it really again? Had I really fallen in love the first time? Was it just lonliness being momentarily pacified? Whatever it was, I was beginning to realize that it wasn't love... or, at least, not the Love that I felt her Her... a different love. She made it so that I was no longer lonely... she reopened my heart... and, in doing so, she made it possible for me to be In Love with Her.

She loved me. She had said so Herself in the castle that had laid beyond the looking glass. She changed me, and reduced all of the doubt that had priorly settled in my mind. I felt an enormous swell of emotions when her lips pressed againts my own. This kiss... it was so unlike that of the before's. It brought me back to my true form, of course, but it also made me feel things I never believed possible. She made me feel scared, happy, faithful, truthful, passionate, soft, caring, loving, tender, hopeful, careful, risky, daring, shy, and, above all, loved- just with a kiss and those six words and my name...

'I love you as a hanyou, InuYasha'

She loved me. She didn't give a damn what I was, She loved me. I had said so many things... done so many things to break her heart, things with the prior... but she still loved me.

I had found many, many years before that being accepted was one of the greatest felings one could ever feel. But, Love, true, pure, absolute Love, was at the very top. When I realized this, I also realized what everything was that I felt for her, the one that came first; it was Desire. Pure Desire; Desire for what I could not have, so, she came the very closest, until Her fall down the (beautiful, wonderful, sadistic) well, and into my life.

Desire... Desire, pure Desire, makes you long for things difficult, and, somewhat impossible, to obtain. I Desired, Lusted for Love- acceptance was one step up that ladder. She gave me Desire... and She gave me Love. I am grateful to both in so many ways...

But, as in almost, if not all things, Love wins, hands-down.

Hey. How'd you all like it? I really like it a lot. I started it spontaniously one day after watching an AMV on YouTube where InuYasha and Kikyou kissed, you know, with the whole boat biz. Yeah, and this just popped up in my mind, and my head would have exploded if I hadn't written this. People, my main goal here is to make InuKik shippers see this in the light; everyone is entitled to the ship they desire, and I know what it's like to go deeper into a ship, and have the majority of the world against you for it, but... I still want InuKik shippers to see how InuKag work, you know? And that Kagome isn't just a ditsy schoolgirl, and Kikyou is the perfect person, because NEITHER is true! Man, I could go on and on with this issue, so, if anyone feels like discussing it, I am totally open. I swear; I will go head to head (positively, negatively, definsively, offenively, whatev.) with anyone who wants to talk.

On any issue at all, really.

Is it too obvious that I have no life?

-RD