|Potions, Puking and Punishment
Author: Ravenwood240 PM
What happens when Professor Snape harrsses the wrong Prankster? Just a quick bit of Snape Bashing.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Severus S. - Words: 2,311 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10-21-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3208953
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Just a bit of Snape bashing. What happens when Professor Snape annoys a secret prankster?
Potions, Puking and Punishment
She was fuming as she headed for her secret place. Some of the things she wanted to put Professor Snape through weren't possible even with magic, but thinking about them kept her from trying to hex him into the Infirmary.
She'd spent more than an hour throwing up lizards after he 'forgot' to mention that her potion wasn't quite right. "That should teach you to pay more attention," he'd said as she finished and wiped her mouth with a cloth. "I want two feet of parchment on what happened and why it went wrong." He'd looked around, at more than twenty lizards running around the Potions classroom. "Be sure you clean this up before you leave."
She reached the little grove of trees and entered it. She made an effort to calm down, as the inhabitants of the small hollow in the centre of the grove would not come near her if she was too upset.
She sat and thought while she waited for her friends to make their appearances. She had been extremely careful, and she thought it was probable that no one in school except her accomplices knew that she'd pulled at least one prank a month since her second year. She'd never targeted just one person for her pranks, preferring to get multiple targets at once to more intimate pranks.
Maybe it was time to change that.
She looked up as the first of the grove's inhabitants made its appearance. She pushed the thoughts of pranks out of her head and greeted her friend.
She was in Potions again two days later when the perfect prank came to her. She finished her potion on automatic as she considered how she would pull this one off. There wouldn't be any help on it as she wanted this prank to be untraceable.
She grinned as she walked toward her house. If Professor Snape ever did figure out who did this, she'd be lucky to finish the school year alive. Now, how was she going to create the effect she wanted? Hm... a modified Polyjuice Potion and a charm...
OoOoOoO Two days before the Winter Holidays OoOoOoO
The prankster smiled as she left the dungeons, sneaking back to her house. Everything was in place, and the Yule ball was tomorrow, so everyone would get a chance to see her prank. As a bonus, she didn't have Potions tomorrow, so she'd be lower on the list of suspects.
She avoided Filch and Mrs. Norris with the ease of long experience and was soon snuggled in her bed without anyone knowing she'd been gone.
At breakfast the next morning she looked at Professor Snape. Dressed in his customary black, and looking as grouchy and greasy as ever, he sneered at the students. "Enjoy that sneer, you greasy git," she muttered under her breath, "You'll be singing a different tune soon enough."
The boy sitting next to here turned to her. "Did you say something?"
She smiled at him. "No, just thinking aloud."
The first Potions class of the day was the fifth year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, and they filed into the dungeon quietly. While they never got docked House points like Gryffindors in this class, Professor Snape was not on anyone's list of favourite teachers, and they tried to keep from antagonizing him.
They were sitting there quietly when Professor Snape walked in. As he passed the doorway, there was a flash of light that made everyone look that way.
They stared, shocked into silence by the sight that greeted them. The Professor didn't even seem to notice the light and continued toward his desk. He started talking and the class just stared. This simply was not possible. By the end of class, they couldn't do anything but file out, looking at each other dumbly. None of them had been brave enough to say anything to Professor Snape.
They were on the main floor before anyone said anything. Luna Lovegood looked up. "I think that was a beautiful thing. I didn't know there were any Gibberling Racknocks in the castle though."
The rest of the students just looked at each other as she continued on. "That's as good an explanation as any other I guess," said a Hufflepuff boy before grinning madly. "Did you see?"
That broke the spell that had bound them since they had seen Professor Snape and they all began talking at once, a mass of words that prevented anyone from understanding any of them.
"Face? His hair"
Professor Dumbledore listened to the cacophony for a minute. Apparently, something strange was going on in the dungeon. He headed that way, and paused in front of the Potion classroom door. As he'd told Harry, you didn't have to have a cloak to become invisible.
A few seconds later, the classroom door opened and closed, but no one noticed. The first year Gryffindors and Slytherins were too busy staring at the legendary Professor in front of them. Professor Dumbledore examined the door for a minute and recognized the magic signature on the door. He looked at Professor Snape for a minute, his eyes twinkling.
He erased the signature and left the room. The spell would wear off in less than twenty-four hours and Professor Snape would be himself again, but Professor Dumbledore was going to enjoy today. He needed Severus, but sometimes dealing with his attitude was a bit wearing.
Professor Dumbledore made a mental note to double check any points the Potions Master removed from any house tomorrow. He was not going to be happy about this.
By lunch the news had swept throughout the castle and everyone was there, waiting to see the Potions Professor. Even a majority of the ghosts had made an appearance, clustered around the ceiling.
The food had just appeared when Professor Snape walked in. Across the hall, everyone stared, except one blindly brave fifth year Gryffindor, who was taking picture after picture.
Professor Snape saw him, and advanced on him. "Mr. Creevy," he said, and Colin's camera fell from suddenly nerveless fingers.
Professor Snape looked at him and suddenly smiled. "Be sure I get a copy of those, would you?"
Colin could only nod dumbly as Professor Snape patted his head and walked toward the head table, saying, "Ten points for Gryffindor."
Every head turned toward the counters, watching in silent shock as Gryffindor's counter went up.
Professor Snape blithely ignored the total silence as he sat down next to Professor McGonagall. "Good afternoon, Minerva," he said cheerily. "What's good today?"
The Gryffindor Househead looked at Professor Snape and only years of dealing with the Weasley twins, the Marauders and a dozen other pranksters kept her smile strictly internal.
Professor Snape merely loaded his plate and started to eat. He only stopped once, to brush the Weasley red hair out of his face. When he was done eating, he smiled at Professor Dumbledore. "I was thinking about holding the rest of today's classes outside. It's a beautiful day, and those dungeons are just too dark. It isn't healthy."
Professor Dumbledore considered the request gravely. "I think that could be arranged. I'll have Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger help you move the necessary equipment outside."
Severus Snape grinned at Harry and his friends, who were just as stunned as everyone else. "Capital!" He smiled happily and stood up. "Ten points each for your help." He started toward the doors, whistling a merry tune.
Harry and his friends started after him, only to be stopped. Colin Creevy had raised his hand, looking at Professor Snape. "Sir, would you mind terribly if I got a picture of you with Harry and his friends?"
Colin was innocently polite, but those closest to him could see the evil glint in his eye.
"Of course, dear boy." Snape reached out and put one arm around Harry and Ron, dragging them closer. Hermione followed, speechless for the first time since she came to Hogwarts.
A few seconds later the four were gone again, and Colin was rushing out of the Hall, smiling madly. This picture would make everything he'd ever endured in that class worth it. Professor Snape, with his arm around Ron and Harry Potter's shoulder, and making rabbit ears behind both boy's heads.
Now, he just had to get it out of Hogwarts before Professor Snape returned to normal.
The Prankster was leaving the hall, smiling to herself. She would get copies of those pictures from Colin, lots of copies. She sighed. It was kind of a pity that no one knew about her doing this. It would be nice to tell someone.
She jumped when a voice came from a side corridor. "Professor Snape seems different today."
She looked at the Headmaster and knew that he knew she had charmed the Professor. "It's an improvement in my opinion," she said, "too bad it only lasts till midnight." She sighed. "And that it would cost too much to keep him like that for the next four years."
Professor Dumbledore cocked his head. "Why four years? I believe you will be gone in three."
She smiled. "True, but if it continues past my leaving, no one will ever connect it with me."
"Tell me, would you know anything about the Slytherin common room becoming an enchanted disco that forced the Slytherins to dance to Muggle music for nearly three hours?"
She smiled happily and then looked at the Headmaster earnestly. "Professor, that would require a knowledge of Muggles, and I'm a simple Wizard born Witch. Where would I learn that much about Muggles?" She regarded him with a face that blazed with Innocence.
The Headmaster was quick to note she hadn't denied doing it and he smiled at her. "Where indeed. Good afternoon."
She was walking away when the Headmaster spoke again. "Give my regards to Miss Granger, when you study with her tonight."
The back of her neck turned red, but she simply turned the corner, not willing to look back and see him smiling at her. That man was impossible to hide things from.
Quite a few people that had not intended to attend the ball went at the last minute, simply to watch Professor Snape.
The first surprise came when he walked in. He was wearing robes of green and silver, the Slytherin house colours. They clashed badly with the fiery red hair, but since nobody in the castle had ever seen him in anything that was not black, it didn't matter. Just seeing him in something else was shocking enough.
He was smiling again, and walked right up to Madame Hooch. "Might I have this dance, milady?"
Before the shocked Instructor could say anything, Professor Snape had taken her in his arms, and was waltzing around the hall with her.
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were standing in a corner watching the show with smiles. Ron in particular looked as if he might burst from keeping in the laughter.
Hermione had a strange little smile at the corner of her lips. "You do realize," she said resignedly, "that he's going to come out of this sooner or later? And that when he does, the whole castle is going to know it?"
Harry had an arm around Ginny as he watched the Potions Master try to get Professor McGonagall out on the dance floor. He looked at Hermione and grinned. "I know, but even if we finish last in the House cup, it will be worth it."
Ron nodded reverently. "Although," he said, "I wish that the person that did this hadn't made his hair that colour. It's kind of weird to see Professor Snape looking like one of the family."
Ginny giggled. "True, but just think how he's going to feel when this wears off, and he finds out he was a Weasley for a day."
The quartet grinned. Harry sighed. "I hereby name the person that did this an honorary Marauder." He turned to Ginny. "Would you care to dance? I think you've taught me enough that your feet should be safe."
OoOoOoO Midnight OoOoOoO
Professor Snape stopped, blinking as the unnatural happiness dropped away from him. He happened to be looking at the mirror in a bathroom, and he watched in furious disbelief as the red hair faded away.
He closed his eyes for a minute, reliving everything he'd done today.
In the Hall, everything came to a stop as a terrible howl came from somewhere else, sounding remarkably like the troll that had gotten into the castle five years ago.
The prankster smiled to herself. She continued dancing with her boyfriend, smiling up at him as they listened to the snarling coming from somewhere outside the Hall.
Harry noticed Professor Dumbledore slipping out of a side door, presumably to keep Professor Snape from destroying anything in his anger. He looked down at Ginny and smiled. "I think it's time to leave," he suggested, "Somehow, I think his next mission in life will be hunting me down and accusing me of doing this to him."
The Prankster watched Harry and Ginny sneak out of the room and smiled. She'd heard Harry's comment about her being an Honorary Marauder earlier and it had warmed her, even if he didn't know who he'd made a Marauder.
Daphne Greengrass snickered to herself as she danced with Blaise. "I wonder," she mused silently, "how Potter would like to know he's just made a Slytherin a Marauder?"