Danny gripped the railing tightly with one hand, his threadbare teddy with the other, watching his feet carefully to make sure he safely made every step. Usually he just threw himself down the stairs, not really caring if he stumbled or made a racket, but he was in his Superman pjs and with pyjamas came his brown bunny rabbit slippers that grinned up at him and waved their dangly little arms with every step. If he stumbled once with those on, it was one hell of a tumble down the narrow staircase and Dad wasn’t around to scoop him up and tell Louie off for laughing at his klutz of a kid brother.

Finally he made it down into the living room and shuffled over to the TV where Louie was sitting cross-legged on the floor, intently watching Looney Tunes. Danny plopped down beside him, clutching his bear, Bruno, to his chest.

Louie gave him a dirty look, but said nothing at the intrusion. He was supposed to be babysitting his kid brother, who was five years old to his nine, but hated it because Danny was pretty much still that: a baby. The kid cried still when he skinned his knees which was almost daily and hadn’t yet learned that it wasn’t cool to babble on all the time. Louie wished their older brother Mikey was around to help him or make him laugh or make Danny cry over being teased, but like Dad said; if wishes were fishes, every river would be the fuckin Tour de France. Neither Louie nor Danny knew what the Tour de France was and were forbidden to say ‘fuckin’, but they got what Dad was saying. Mikey got in a lot of trouble, even at only twelve, and his presence wasn’t to be wished for lightly. Besides, Mikey did kind of rag on Danny a little too much.

“What’s goin’ on?” Danny asked, squinting at the small black and white TV screen and leaning forward fervently.

Louie rolled his eyes. “Elmer Fudd’s tryna kill Bugs Bunny. Hell’s it look like, runt?”

Danny’s face scrunched up and he hugged Bruno tighter. “Don’ call me that. Mikey calls me that and I hate it.”

“What? Runt? Aw, he ain’t bein’ mean, runt. He’s just tellin’ the truth! Runt.”

“I’ll tell Dad,” Danny threatened, sounding scared and staring at him with those big blue eyes of his.

“Go ahead, I don’ care,” Louie lied, grinning broadly. “Runt! Runt, runt, runt, runt, runt, runt, runt!”

Danny kicked him hard in the leg and shouted, “Shaddup! It’s not funny!”

Louie felt a pang of guilt. He knew the kid was only five and probably didn’t even know what it meant to be a runt, but jeez could he be sensitive. Still, he stopped calling him that. He hated it when Danny got all helpless and upset.

On the other hand, Mikey had taught him from the beginning that big brothers were meant to rag on their kid brothers at least sometimes, to toughen them up and stuff, so he reached out and snatched the dumb falling apart bear from Danny’s arms before the kid could even blink.

“I got your precious little stupid bear! Now whatcha gonna do, you baby? You gonna cry? Cry for Mommy and Daddy? Huhn?”

Tears sprang to Danny’s eyes, but instead of just bursting out crying, he shouted and lunged, tackling Louie and scrambling to get his bear back. Bruno was the only toy he had that had made it this long. He and his brothers were rough on the few toys Dad could afford for them and they often didn’t last longer than a few months. Bruno was his favourite though, and other than accidentely leaving it on a bench at Coney last summer, he’d kept it safe and close to him his whole life. Sometimes Mikey stole it, held it over his head and laughed while Danny cried and jumped desperately up and down trying to get it back, but Louie had never done that before. Louie was nicer, even when he was being a jerk.

“Give ‘em back, you douchebag!” Danny screamed, punching his big brother as hard as he could.

Louie lay on the shabby old living room carpet, trying to hold the bear out of reach and protect his face at the same time. He’d seen Danny fight Mikey as hard as he could like this, and he and the kid fought a lot over who had the toy of the day in their possession, but he’d never been bested so easily before. Danny was actually a pretty good fighter when he wanted to be. His little fists didn’t hurt too much, but he was swinging wild and Louie didn’t want to end up with an off chance broken nose.

He was about to give and just hand the dumb bear over, but then the front door swung open and heavy footsteps strode quickly over. A strong hand yanked the bear out of Louie’s hand and Danny was suddenly off him.

“What the hell’s the matter with you two, huhn?” Dad asked, grabbing Louie under the arm and lifting him to his feet. Not roughly, but easily enough that if he wanted to, Dad could kick his ass any day of the week. “And where the fuck did you learn a word like ‘douchebag’, huhn, Dan?”

Danny was sitting on the couch where he’d been tossed, looking as stunned as those stupid bunny slippers he was wearing. But then he grinned – he had Dad’s crooked grin, Louie noted jealously – and held out his arms eagerly. Dad handed him the bear and scooped him up into his arms, hugging his youngest son tightly. Louie stood beside them feeling left out and ashamed for a minute, but then Dad turned and chuckled, and pulled him into his side.

“Aw, Dad, leggo. I’m too old for hugs,” Louie grumbled. Dad just laughed, a sharp and raspy noise that made both boys’ grins widen even more, and hugged him tighter.

“You’re never too old to hug your pop, Lou.” A kid on each arm, Dad dragged them both easily over to his favourite easy chair and sat, trying to pull both sons with him. Danny went easily, immediately curling up on Dad’s lap, but Louie got loose of his grip a little and just perched on the arm of the chair. Close, but not acting like a baby. Not like Danny.

Dad sighed heavily as he looked back and forth between the two boys. His face was already heavy with creases and lines despite only being thirty-four, but his grin was easy and his dark eyes were bright. Louie was proud that he had Dad’s black hair and eyes and that Mommy was always saying how much he’d look like him when he was older. Tough and strong like a boxer. Thinking about this, he had to admit that he was glad Danny at least got Dad’s crooked smile to make up for Mommy’s dirty brown hair and blue eyes. He thought Mommy was pretty and all the girls in his class gushed over Danny, but Mikey insisted that being a pretty boy and a runt was a bad combination for a guy, so him getting Dad’s smile was okay, Louie supposed. Kid needed all the help he could get.

“Why you gotta fight so much, huhn?” Dad asked, looking tired, but still smiling some.

Louie shrugged. “Boys are supposed to fight. Ain’t we?”

Dad frowned and licked his lips, thinking. “Well, yeah, I guess, Lou. But not with each other. You’re brothers.”

Danny scowled and clutched at Bruno and Louie heaved a sigh. Mikey was their brother too and he never got these little speeches and lessons. Then again, he didn’t let Dad touch him, often made Mommy and Danny cry, punched Louie way too hard way too often, and wouldn’t listen to anybody.

“Whaddabout Mikey?” Danny finally asked. Louie hated that the kid had the balls to just outright ask those kinds of questions and he didn’t, but still looked to Dad immediately to hear the answer.

Dad took a minute to light the cigarette he’d had tucked behind his ear, then said quietly, “Mikey’s…your brother, yeah. But he’s a troublemaker. You boys protect ‘em like ya do each other, but ya don’t haveta listen to ‘em or follow ‘em around, okay?”

Danny nodded and Louie shrugged again.

“Awright,” Dad said, his smile back. “Tell me ‘bout school.”

Danny bounced a little and said excitedly, “Miss Tessio says I’m real smart and wants Mommy to lemme go up to another class with the bigger kids.”

“Aw, that’s great, Dan! Lou, tell ‘em how great the first grade is.”

Louie smiled tightly. “S’great, D. Ya get to do math and read on yer own, you lucky little smartass.”

“Hey, watch it!” Dad admonished, smacking Louie’s shoulder.

“Yeah, stupidhead!” Danny piped up.

“Hey, you watch it too!” Dad flicked Danny’s shoulder.

Both boys grumbled and rubbed at their new wounds, but grinned a little too. Even getting a smack or flick was attention from Dad and to be cherished.

Danny glanced at Dad’s worn navy work shirt and poked him in the chest. “What’s that? That blood?”

Dad’s face suddenly went blank, his eyes sliding half shut, and Louie had to restrain from smacking the kid himself. He asked too many damn questions.

“Yeah, Dan, it’s blood.”

“Didja get a nosebleed? I gotta a nosebleed last week, ‘member? I was racin’ Bobby Zabo to see who could do the most sit-ups and boom. A real gusher!”

Dad nodded and made a show of listening, then, as he touched his fingertips to the dark blood drops dried on his shirt, said quietly, “No, I didn’t get a nosebleed. But I’m awright, okay? That’s all ya need to know.”

Danny wasn’t done yet though. “Didja get in a fight?”

Louie leaned forward and slugged the kid hard in the shoulder. Danny gasped and clutched at his arm, giving his brother a wounded look.

“That hurt!”

“Yeah? Good!”

Dad heaved a sigh and pulled both boys to his chest so they were pinned tightly shoulder to shoulder.

“Goddammit, what I say, huhn? You’re brothers!” he whispered hoarsely in their ears. “You don’t hit each other. You take care of each other. Mikey’s not the same thing as you two. Mikey takes care of himself. But you two are brothers and always will be. Louie, you gotta look out for your kid brother. Danny, you listen to your big brother. You always go ta bat for one another. I can’t always be around, but you will always have each other. So get used to it and learn to get along for fuck’s sake! Awright?”

Both remained silent and sullen.

“I said, awright?”

Louie scowled, but finally muttered, “Yeah, okay. Awright, I’ll look out for ‘em.”

“Yeah, Daddy, awright,” Danny whispered back.

“Swear on your mother.”

“…Swear on my mother.”

“Swear on Mommy.”

Dad sighed tiredly. “Good. You’re good boys. No matter what anybody says, you got that?”

Danny lifted his head and gave Louie a questioning look.

“What’s anybody gonna say ‘bout us, Dad?” Louie asked, just as curious. “We never do nothin’ wrong, not like Mikey at least.”

Dad just shook his head. “Don’ worry ‘bout that, just worry ‘bout yourselves and each other. It don’ matter right now.”

At the odd but still reassuring words, Danny settled back down and Louie let himself relax in Dad’s embrace, even though he was sure he was too old to be babied like this.

They sat like that in Dad’s chair for almost a half hour, way past Danny’s bedtime and getting on to Louie’s.

But the peace of the evening was suddenly ruined, startling them all. Three gun shots cracked through the quiet of the night, sounding so loud it was like they were coming from the next room. Dad immediately stood and shoved the boys to the ground.

“Stay there! Don’t you dare get up off that floor. Louie, watch your brother and if either of you come outside I’ll strap both your asses!”

He grabbed his .38 revolver from the side table and banged out the front door, yelling something the boys didn’t catch.

Still on the floor, Louie instinctively wrapped an arm around Danny’s shoulders and held him down, pushing the kid’s face into the carpet. Danny whimpered and clutched at Bruno, trying to breathe around the stale carpet smell of cigarettes and dust. He wriggled closer to Louie and asked in a tiny voice, “Where’s Daddy goin’? Why’s he goin’? Why can’t he stay here?”

Louie was shaking but managed to say steadily, “He’s just goin’ to check on things, make sure everybody’s okay. Now shaddup, D, and don’ cry. S’gonna be okay.”

“But where’s Mommy?”

“In Queens, visitin’ Uncle Ray and Aunt Mary, ‘member? Now shaddup, Danny. Please.”

There were angry shouts and dogs barking outside and when a woman screamed Danny whimpered again, louder this time, and started crying softly.

“D, stop it. S’gonna be okay, I said!”

“No! Nonononono!” Danny wrenched himself from Louie’s grasp and ran for the door. “I want Daddy!”

“Danny! Get back here!” Louie screamed, scrambling to his feet and running after him.

Danny was a fast little guy though, even on his stubby baby legs and even with the bunny slippers, and Louie couldn’t catch him till they were down the porch and almost to the sidewalk. He managed to grab the kid’s arm there and yank him to a stop. He was going to haul him back up into the house, but when he saw what Dad and a couple other men were standing over, he froze up. Just stood there with his mouth hanging open and Danny pinned to his chest.

The dead man was stretched out on his back eagle spread. Even from thirty feet away and in the bad streetlamp light, Louie could see that his eyes were still open. The pool of blood around him was bigger than it ever was in the movies and so dark it was almost black. He stood there in his boxers and undershirt, not noticing that he was shivering or that he was in serious risk of getting his ass strapped.

Finally he was snapped out of his reverie by Danny’s crying. It wasn’t soft now, the kid was really shaking and sobbing, staring at the body just like Louie had just been.

“Danny? Are-are you okay? S-stop it. Stop it now, please. Dad’ll hear and strap us both, ya want that?” Louie asked, practically pleading as he shook Danny by the shoulders. “C’mon, man, into the house. C-c’mon now!”

Danny wouldn’t stop sobbing or staring at the body though. Louie moaned and knelt down in front of him, praying Dad wouldn’t notice them.

“C’mon, D. I-I-I won’t call ya runt, no more, okay? Please, please just stop lookin’ at ‘em, okay? C’mon, Danny, knock it off! Quit bein’ such a goddamn baby!”

Frustrated and scared out of his wits, Louie got to his feet again and stood behind Danny, hugging him to his chest with one arm, covering the kid’s eyes with his other hand.

“Don’ look. Don’ look, D, awright? S’gone. Just forgedabout it. S’all gone. C’mon, I got you, okay? I’m takin’ care of ya, just like Daddy said to. C’mere, let’s go inside, huhn? Please, D?”

After what felt like an eternity, Danny let out a slow, shaky breathe and was able to stop crying. Louie kept his hand over his eyes till he had him turned around, then hefted the kid up into his arms, setting Danny on his hip like he’d seen Dad and Mommy do a million times. Danny weighed a goddamn ton, especially since he’d gone limp the minute Louie started to lift him, but helped a little by wrapping his arms around his big brother’s neck. He was sniffling still and getting Louie’s collar all gross, but at least he’d shut up.

Louie moved carefully and slowly backwards, keeping his own gaze pinned on Dad’s still turned back and Danny’s off the whole scene. Finally he was able to make it up the porch steps and into the house. He hauled Danny over to the couch and dropped down into the sagging cushions. Danny shifted and curled up into his side. They sat there for a long time, just listening to the growing sound of sirens, the shouts and car horns.

Louie really wanted Dad to come back and tell him what to do. Danny had stopped crying, but was now just staring wide-eyed and pale at the floor.

“D? You okay, little man?”

Danny was silent for a long minute, then swallowed thickly and whispered, “M’sorry for bein’ a baby, Louie.”

Louie squeezed his eyes shut against the burning of tears and hugged Danny close. “You’re not a baby. No matter what Mikey or me or anybody says, ya got that? Yer…yer just a little kid is all. S’okay, yer just a kid.”

“Then what’re you?”

“I’m…I’m your brother.” Louie let out a shaky laugh that to his ears sounded too old for a nine year old. “I didn’t think I’d haveta be one so soon after promisin’ Dad that I would, but I am I guess, huhn?”

Danny finally met his gaze, his sharp blue eyes searching Louie’s beseechingly. “Ya always were though.”

“Yeah…I know, D. I know. I’ll never hit ya again, okay?”

Danny grinned Dad’s crooked grin and nodded hurriedly. “Yeah,” he said breathlessly. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Louie. I love you.”

Louie grimaced. “I can’t say that back. I’m too old.”

“But y-you’re my b-b-brother!” Danny argued, tears welling up in his eyes again.

“Aw shit, man, don’ start cryin’ again! I-I do, uh, love ya back, okay? Ya hear me? Just don’ say it, okay?”

Danny licked his lips apprehensively, then nodded again. “Yeah. Okay.”

Louie stood shakily and pulled Danny to his feet. “C’mon, let’s go to bed. Mommy’ll freak out if she gets home to this only ta find ya still up. Ya got Bruno? Then c’mon awready, let’s go.”

They staggered up the narrow stairs together hand in hand to their bedroom and Louie almost wanted to shake Danny off, but didn’t. He kind of needed his kid brother too right now.