|Trust in Me
Author: StormDancer PM
Finally the sound of her voice drew him back to his body, back to sanity BBxrae friendship, maybe romance if you tilt your head and look sideways. maybe onshot.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst - Beast Boy & Raven - Words: 2,748 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10-29-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3220210
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer/Author's note-I don't own the TT. This was actually inspired by the Jesse McCartney song "Because you live". And i know I'm breaking my own rule, but i might continue this. Review to put your own two cents in
Trust in Me
Story By StormDancer
It is not light that we need, but fire; not the gentle shower but thunder. we need the storm, the whirlwind,and the earthquake.
The most humiliating thing, Beast Boy later decided, was that it only took one hit. One hit to bring him to his metaphorical knees. One hit to destroy him, to make him completely useless. To be sold so cheaply was the worst thing. But it was one shot, and he was jolted out of his flying half trance. He was falling, wind stealing his screams as he fought desperately to shift, to save himself, but to no avail. Only raven's frantic makeshift shield saved him from being a grass stain on the pavement he had been proudly soaring over a moment before. He remembered seeing the grounds coming closer, and the hopeless need to shift. The next thing he saw was the infirmary. He didn't see, and never knew about, the revenge the titan's took. He never heard about the wreck the unnamed man was in when the Titans were finished with him. He would never have guessed at their faces as he hit the ground, inert, sprawled in a horribly unnatural pose. Or how Raven's rage let loose, not even attempted to be controlled, ripping the villain apart form the inside. Robin's face contorted in a frantic need for concentration through his grief. Starfire's righteous anger exploding through her tears. Cyborg's vicious sorrow. He never saw, never heard. All he saw was the ground, coming ever closer. He only heard the whistling of the wind. The cool hand on his forehead went unfelt. The soft monotone, breaking slightly in relief, declaring him alive, went unheard. He was lost in a constant loop of falling, helpless, plummeting forever.
He healed. The many broken bones knit together, helped by Raven's magic. His cuts and bruises faded. He removed himself from the infirmary, oblivious to the vigil the others had been keeping outside his door.
It wasn't until a month after he had left the infirmary that he could bring himself to shift. To change into any creature, let alone a flying one. For those he couldn't shift into. He wasn't able to fly, would never be able to again. And with the realization came another. Without his flight, he was well nigh useless to the titans. His strength had always been his versatility, and that depended on his flight.
The others knew it too. He could tell in the way they tried to convince him to fly. Cyborg cajoled and joked, trying to make light of it, talk persuasively about how he really knew Beast boy had it in him, if he set his mind to it. Starfire danced in the sir while he watched, attempting to make him want to fly once more. And he did, no one knew how much. But whenever he imagined himself flying, he caught himself in the endless reel of falling, falling, falling. Robin read him lectures on how if he just put his mind to it, he could. Raven, well, Raven did what she normally did. She ignored him, and as he no longer had the energy to chase after her, he rarely drew her attention. But at least she didn't throw him out of the window. That was the subject of the nightmares which haunted his day and night, still plummeting to the ground. None of the other's help worked. He still couldn't fly. And robin was getting impatient.
"Just follow me, Beast Boy," Robin coaxed, "And keep your eyes closed."
Lethargically, Beast Boy did as he was told. He had no energy left to disobey. The dreams had sapped all his strength.
"Keep going," Robin urged, now behind him. Unsuspecting, he kept walking. The ground dropped out form underneath him.
He was falling, dropping like a stone towards the ground he now opened his eyes to see. Desperately, he sought the place inside of him where the shift happened, but it was as frozen in fear as the rest of him was. All he knew was he was stuck once more in the never-ending drop that was always about to end.
Black Magic encased him, brought him back up to the roof he had fallen from. But his mind was still rapped in his endless fall. Cool hands held his shoulders as raven talked to him, speaking of inane things he wouldn't have thought her capable of thinking about. She talked about the weather, gossip, anything that came to mind. Finally the sound of her voice drew him back to his body, to solid ground.
The small hands were still holding him protectively. Warily, he opened his eyes, knowing all he would see was the ground growing ever closer. It was all he ever saw, now. But Raven's voice was interposed on the scene and it was full of suppressed anger. 'Not good for whoever she's talking to', he thought almost flippantly, 'but at least it isn't me for once.'
"What do you think you are doing?" she spat.
"Forcing him to fly," Robin stated practically, "Desperation would rid him of any laziness or fear ad prove to him he could do it. Otherwise, he's frankly useless.'
Raven's hold tightened on his shoulders.
"Do you think that is all this is? Laziness?" she asked incredulously. Beast Boy didn't have the strength to tell her that Robin was right; he just didn't have the will to fly, to overcome his fear.
"Yeah," Robin answered.
"this is not malingering!" Raven yelled. A light bulb exploded, "It's not even just a fear to be overcome! Is that all any of you thought?"
Beast Boy could see Cyborg and Starfire's sheepish nods. Raven had no patience for them.
"Idiots! BB is, well, the closest term I can come to is shell shocked. And you," she hissed at Robin, "Should have known that! Obviously, none of you can deal with this!"
She drew Beast Boy up. He could see superimposed upon the falling Robin's astonished face. Without another word, to him or anyone else, she opened a portal and gently led Beast Boy into it, emerging in his room.
"Imbeciles! How could he have done that! I should never have let them have the care of you," she muttered under her breath.
"Why did you?" Beast Boy asked quietly.
Raven went from sounding like his mother to looking her real age, slightly younger then him, very quickly.
"I was distracted," she admitted, "I shouldn't have been. I should have noticed. I'm sorry."
Raven yanked herself abruptly back to the present.
"1st thing, you need sleep. You are going to be-" she caught sight of his top bunk, where he had obviously been sleeping. Or what passed for sleeping now. "Have you been sleeping there?"
Beast Boy nodded.
"You're no better then the rest of them," she muttered, "That's obviously part of the problem."
"Why?" he dredged up some vestige of curiosity.
"BB, you are having nightmares about falling. Sleeping up high is not going to help."
"I'm not having nightmares."
"Bull shit. There's no point in hiding it." Raven looked resignedly around his room and sighed, "Well, I suppose there's no help for it. Come on."
He ambled after her out of the room. She stopped in front of her room and stalked in. he paused outside.
"Well?" she prompted, "Come here!!"
Surprised, he strolled into Raven's room. He stood uncomfortably in the center of the room. Raven rolled her eyes, than shoed him gently onto her bed.
"Sleep," she ordered, settling into a meditative pose next to him.
"You need someone to stay with you in case you have a nightmare. And I don't trust the other's to be sensible, and I am not staying in your toxic wasteland of a room."
"What's the use," he groaned, "Robin's going to kick me off the team, and he's right to. I'm useless. I don't have the strength to rule even myself.'
"You are going nowhere," raven said so firmly he couldn't help but believe her, "Not while I'm here. Robin will do nothing. And how many times do I have to tell you, you are not being weak! It's a disease! You have done amazingly just to still be sane."
"Really?" Beast Boy asked, eyes full of hope.
"Trust me on this. I will not lie to you. I will do things you may hate to you, or force you to do them to yourself, but I will never lie."
Beast Boy nodded sleepily. Her bed was so comfortable, and she was right, the height made a difference. Or maybe it was just her voice.
"Thanks Rae. For all of this."
He could have sworn Raven smiled at that. At least she neglected to chastise him about the nickname.
"Don't thank me yet."
"Because by the time you're cured, you'll hate me. Now sleep. If you wake and I'm not here, go back to sleep. Don't touch anything if you want to stay in this dimension."
Beast Boy grinned as he drifted into the first dreamless sleep he had had for a while.
Beast Boy woke all at once, although not with the unpleasant jolt of falling he had become accustomed to. His hero instincts kicked him into sudden alertness, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings before he realized he was in Raven's room. Another jolt, then he remembered he actually had her permission for once. He sat up, trying to gauge the time through the eternal stygian atmosphere of the room. He failed.
Raven was curled up in a chair beside her bed, cloak wrapped around her. He smiled slightly, his customary good humour recalled by sleep. Softly, he covered her with one of her blankets. She pulled it closer around herself protectively. Eh quietly walked out, nearly tripping over Robin, who was seated outside the door.
"What are you doing?" Beast Boy spat, rage suddenly subsuming his good mood.
"Don't lie, what are you doing?" Beast Boy demanded. Robin sighed.
"I wanted to apologize."
"What?" Beast Boy's rage subsided quickly.
"I shouldn't have pushed you. Or been so hard on you."
Beast Boy grinned, his old carefree grin. Or at least it was close.
"Hey, I walked right into it. Or rather, off of it."
Robin groaned. Beast Boy shrugged.
"Hey, I tried."
"And failed," Raven cut in, walking out of her room to stand beside Beast Boy.
"But at least I get an A for effort!"
"If you just put1/2 the effort you put into jokes into training, you'd be amazing," robin teased.
"What do you mean!" Beast Boy yelled, "Just because I don't drive myself like you do doesn't mean I don't work!"
Robin looked taken aback by Beast Boy's outburst. Raven put a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder.
"Calm," she murmured, 'Breathe in, breathe out"
Beast Boy obeyed sullenly.
"What'd I do?" Robin asked bewilderedly.
"Nothing, but that nothing triggered a mood swing," raven informed him, "Why don't you go before you set off another one?"
Robin strode away, throwing a concerned glance back at Beast boy.
"So," raven said, turning back to Beast Boy, "Are you ready to start your treatment?"
The pain struck him again. His powers lost their will and he began to fall, the ground coming ever closer, the joy of flight was sucked away along with everything else by the speed of his fall. Beast Boy opened his mouth to scream, knowing it would only be swallowed by the rushing air. His power slipped away from him, and still the ground drew closer.
"BB!" Still he fell.
"Beast Boy!" The sound was eaten by the wind rushing past.
"Garfield Logan, wake up!"
He sat up suddenly, clutching frantically at the covers. Raven was standing over him, face showing concern for once.
"Another one?" She asked rhetorically.
"2nd one tonight," beast Boy agreed, "it's not working, is it, Rae? I'll never be able to fly again. No matter how much I want to."
"How much do you?"
"More then anything! I loved to fly, it was like, freeing! It's only you, and the winds, and its all concentratingful, and you need to be quick and stuff and be able to read the wind and…" he trailed off into reminiscent silence. Raven shook her head, clearly amused.
"You and Star, always so enthusiastic."
"What, don't you feel like that?"
"I don't fly," raven corrected, "I levitate. There's a difference."
'oh," Beast Boy's face fell, "But it doesn't matter, does it? Because I won't be able to fly on my own again. Or with someone else."
"If you believe that, you won't," Raven said seriously.
"It doesn't matter what I believe!" he yelled, 'You're wasting your time! I'm messed up, and weak, and can't do anything! I'll never be able to shift and fly again!"
Raven gazed at him with mournful violet eyes shining out of her shadowed face. She put a hand on his.
"I know you can, BB. Whatever you think."
She turned and stalked out of the room. Beast Boy stared after her, anger spent before she made it out of the room.
"But Raven, its only been 5 months!" Beast Boy whined, "Yu told me it took most people years to get over PTSD!"
"It wasn't normal PTSD," Raven admitted, "And you aren't most people, are you?"
'Well, no, but," Beast Boy protested, native arrogance warring with self-doubt, 'But what if I fall again? If it doesn't work? I'll be set back months!"
"Do you trust me enough not to let you fall?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Then have faith in me and you."
Raven lifted them both to the free air above the tower. Beast Boy stead-fastedly kept his eyes locked on Raven's, the only things not growing smaller as they rose farther up.
"Shift!" she commanded. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and let his awareness sink back into his center, his core of power.
He was falling, the air rushed by. It ate at him, drawing his power away. But not all of it. He still had the strength to defy it, the fall could not win. Not if he had anything to say about it.
He opened his eyes again. Hawk eyes. With a triumphant cry, he spread his wings and rose higher, higher. He felt raven's protective magic leave him, but he didn't care. He was back in his element.
Raven had dropped back down to stand and watch him with the rest of the titans. Beast Boy dove and landed in front of her as a man, wide grin back in place.
"It worked, Rae!" he exclaimed, hugging her, "I did it!"
"You did," Raven agreed in a monotone, "which means I can throw you out a window again for calling me Rae."
Beast Boy refused to be brought down. He leapt off the roof again, flying close circles around the titan's head, making Starfire squeal, before rising back into the sky.
'Well," Robin prompted Raven, "Your opinion?"
"Same as ever," Raven told them with a slight smile, "He's back."
High above her, a hawk gave an exultant screech of agreement as he danced with the wind.