Author’s note: Hi and thanks again to all who have read and reviewed this story. I had intended to finish this and have it posted by Christmas Eve, but, you know… Somehow it never got done. So here it is a little late, but hopefully it was worth waiting for. I put a bit of a twist in this chapter that I think some of you will like, but some of you are not going to be happy with it. (I suspect that AlmeidaFluff will never speak to me again!) I was looking for a reasonably happy way to end a story that was bittersweet. See what you think and let me know. I’ll be interested to see everyone’s reaction.

EPILOGUE: THREE YEARS LATER

“Okay, Lily, which do you want the peaches or the plums?” Tony asked as he looked over the fruit at the farmers’ market.

“Peaches!” Lily shouted. She stood on her toes to try and see the display of peaches.

“Peaches! You always want peaches,” Tony replied. His voice was animated and playful. “Why do you like peaches so much?” he asked as he scooped the three-and-a-half year old into his arms and held her up at eye level.

“Because they’re fuzzy like a kitty,” Lily answered as she pressed her nose against her father’s. “Kiwi’s are fuzzy, too and I like them, too!” she added hoping to get both kiwi fruit and peaches during this week’s trip to the farmers’ market.

Tony laughed and set her down. “Okay, help me pick out some nice peaches and then we’ll go and get kiwi.”

This was their usual Saturday routine. Tony and Lily would get up and go to the farmers’ market and pick up produce for the week. It was a simple outing, but it had become special to both father and daughter. After buying produce the two would go out to lunch. On nice days like the current one, they would go to a nearby park and get hotdogs from a street vendor and then spend the afternoon playing in the park.

Tony was showing Lily how to pick out a ripe peach when he heard a voice behind him.

“Tony? Tony Almeida, is that you?”

Tony knew the voice instantly and turned toward it. “Audrey! Audrey, what are you doing here?” he asked as he hugged her and they exchanged a friendly kiss. “Is that Sam? Wow, has he gotten big! He looks just like Jack.”

Tony dropped to one knee to peer at the almost two year old sitting in the stroller. Samuel Taylor Coleridge Bauer had been named for his father’s favorite poet. Jack, who had been an English major at UCLA, could recite long passages of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner and other Coleridge poems.

“Look at Lily,” Audrey said. “She isn’t exactly a baby any more.”

“I’m not a baby. I’m three-and-a-half,” Lily said with authority.

Audrey laughed and ruffled Lily’s curly hair. “This is such a surprise. What are you two doing in DC?”

“We moved here about 15 months ago,” Tony explained. “I had the opportunity to merge my computer business with a larger company in Maryland. It made sense for me. I was working too many hours when I was the sole proprietor of the business. This way I work an eight hour day and I have more time for Lily.”

“That’s great. Is your dad still helping you out?” Audrey asked.

“Yeah, he moved here with us. I don’t think he really wanted to leave southern California, but he agreed that the move was best for Lily and me and he wanted to go with us. He’s like a mother hen with Lily. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

Tony’s father had been widowed for over ten years and had been living in San Diego with his oldest daughter, Natalie. When Michelle was killed, he moved to LA to help Tony out for a few months. Eventually the move became permanent.

“When did you move back to DC?” Tony asked Audrey.

“I must have moved shortly after you did. It’s been about 13 months. I tried to stay in LA, but I just couldn’t. I thought Sam and I would be happier here near my father.” Audrey explained.

“Daddy, are we going to buy some kiwi fruit?” Lily interrupted the grown up conversation.

“In a minute, sweetie,” Tony said. He turned to Audrey. “We’re going to finish up here in a couple of minutes and then we’re going to the park across the street. We usually get lunch from either the hot dog vendor or the deli down the street. Then we eat at the park and we play for a while. Would you and Sam like to join us?”

“We’d love to, Tony. Sam loves that park. Why don’t we both finish our shopping, pick up lunch and then meet at the duck pond in about a half hour.”

“Sounds great. It’s really good to see you Audrey.”

Tony and Lily parted company from Audrey and Sam temporarily but met back up as planned about a half hour later. Tony had a picnic blanket in the back of his car which he set up near the duck pond. He was just unwrapping a sandwich and opening a bottle of juice for Lily when Audrey pushed Sam’s strolled to the edge of the blanket.

They ate and tried to catch up over lunch. Lily and Sam ate as quickly as possible so that they could go and play.

“Daddy, can I go to the sandbox?” Lily asked as she grabbed the handle on a mesh bag of sandbox toys. “I could take Sam with me. I’ll share my toys.”

The enormous sandbox was just a few feet away and in clear view of Tony and Audrey. “It’s okay with me if it’s okay with you, Audrey”

“It’s fine,” Audrey agreed. “We can watch them from here.”

Lily dragged the sandbox toys along side of her with one hand and held Sam’s hand with her free one as they made their way to the sandbox.

Tony and Audrey smiled as they watched.

“She’s like a little mother,” Audrey commented.

“It’s kind of strange since she doesn’t remember her mother,” Tony noted. “And you remember my dad, don’t you. The man isn’t exactly warm and fuzzy. He loves Lily to death but he doesn’t coddle her. If anyone does that it’s me and I’m really not with her as much as Dad is. Sometimes I worry that there isn’t a female influence in her life, but she’s got a real feminine streak. She can be kind of rough and tumble, but she has her girly moments, too,” he added.

The two fell silent as they watched their children play. Sam picked out a shovel and filled a bucket with sand. Once full he promptly knocked it over and started the process again until he became interested in a small dump truck that was among Lily’s toys.

Tony finally broke the silence. “Audrey, I tried to keep in touch with you. I called you more than once before I moved. You never returned my calls.”

“I know, Tony. I’m sorry.” Audrey sighed. “I don’t know how to explain. I guess I shut everyone out. You know, it’s been almost 18 months and when I close my eyes every night, I can still see you and Bill at my front door.” She shook her head. “Does it ever go away?”

Tony smiled softly and touched her arm. “You never forget, but it gets easier, Audrey. I promise that it gets easier.”

Tony remembered that day as clearly as Audrey did. He had just eaten lunch and put Lily down for a nap. His father was cleaning up the lunch dishes and Tony had returned to the desk in his office to take care of some phone messages that had been left during lunch. He had put his hand on the phone just as it rang. He glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Bill Buchanan calling. He didn’t think much of it at the time. CTU had contracted with him for several computer projects and he knew that there were several more to be done. He imagined that Bill was calling to ask him to submit a bid.

“Almeida,” he answered the phone out of pure force of habit.

“Tony, it’s Bill.” Tony noticed immediately that Bill’s tone was flat and quiet. “Tony, I have some bad news. It’s about Jack.” Bill paused for a moment and Tony was instantly filled with dread. “Field ops had a lead on a terrorist cell this morning. The intel was bad. The cell was a lot bigger than we thought. Our guys were simply outgunned. We were lucky, if you can call it that. Jack is our only serious casualty.”

“Is he alive?” Tony asked fearing the worst.

“He is right now, but the doctor’s don’t think he’s going to make it. They’re trying to keep him alive until we can get Audrey to the hospital. I know how close you are to Jack and Audrey. I was hoping that you could go with me and talk to her. She’ll need someone to take her to the hospital and stay with her. I’ve already called Secretary Heller. He’ll be on a plane as soon as possible. She’ll need someone here in the meantime.”

Tony swallowed hard. Jack was his best friend. Jack had saved Lily’s life and he had forced Tony to face his future after Michelle was killed. Without Jack, Tony feared that he would be lying face down, drunk in some gutter right now and that Lily would be living with his sister or his father. Instead, with Jack’s help, he had put his life back together. He missed Michelle every minute of every day, but at least he was able to work and take care of his daughter and live a somewhat normal life.

“Of course, Bill. I don’t want Audrey to be alone. Did you want me to meet you at Jack’s house?”

“Actually, I’m on my way now and I’m just a couple of miles from your place. I’ll pick you up.”

Tony agreed and a short time later he and Bill stood on Audrey’s porch ringing the door bell. The moment she saw the two of them standing there, she knew that it was bad.

“No,” she whispered as she opened the door. She was holding six-month-old Sam in her arms and she clutched him protectively. “No, please, no. Not Jack. Please, God, no. Tell me he’s okay,” she sobbed without either of them even saying a word.

Audrey’s knees buckled and both Tony and Bill reached out to stop her from falling. Tony took the baby from her as Bill helped her to a chair.

“We have to get to the hospital, Audrey. His condition is critical.” Somehow that sounded nicer than saying that Jack was dying. “Do you have someone who can watch Sam?”

She nodded. “My neighbor, Annie. She’s right next door,” Audrey pointed numbly to the house on the left.

Bill went and got the neighbor and then he and Tony took Audrey to the hospital. Jack died shortly after they arrived at the hospital. He didn’t open his eyes or regain consciousness, but Audrey was sure that he had squeezed her hand slightly when she kissed him.

“When I married Jack I knew that he was a field agent,” Audrey said gazing somewhere into the horizon. “And no matter how hard he tried to get out of that role, it was the one he loved the most. We both knew what the dangers were and I thought I could handle it, Tony, I really did. I told myself that every day that I spent with Jack was precious and that if he died I could live with that. It was better than never having him at all. I’d lived through his ‘death’ once, I could certainly do it again, right?” She paused for a moment and Tony remained silent. “I didn’t realize how wrong I was. It was different this time and I just fell apart. I did exactly what Jack refused to let you do. I crawled into a cocoon and kept everyone at arms length. I couldn’t even look at Sam without crying. Thank God my father stuck by me. He came out to LA and he planned to stay with me for the first few months. Once it became clear to him that he couldn’t move back to DC and leave me alone with Sam in LA, he insisted that I move back here to live with him. He virtually raised Sam for almost a year. I was useless. Everyone thought that Jack and I were opposites but we reacted to being widowed in exactly the same way. Kind of ironic, isn’t it?”

“Jack’s death hit me hard, too,” Tony said softly. “He was the best friend I ever had. He convinced David Palmer to pardon me. He saved Lily’s life. I owe him everything that I’ve got right now. That was another reason that I left LA. Everywhere I went I kept being reminded of all I’d lost there. I decided it was time to move on.”

“I’d give almost anything to have him back,” Audrey said with a soft laugh. “You know, he was the most exasperating man in the world and he was hard as hell to live with,” she smiled. “But I loved him and he loved me. And, we were happy.”

Tony laughed, too. “I didn’t even have to live with him and I knew how hard he was to get along with! And, I’ll admit, I had my doubts that you two were right for each other, but somehow you made it work.”

“The worst part is that he’ll never see Sam grow up. He was so proud of him and he loved him so much. I hate it that Sam won’t ever remember him. How about Lily? What do you do to make sure that she knows who her mother is?”

Tony shrugged and shook his head. “I’m not sure that she understands. We talk about Michelle and she knows that ‘Mommy’s in heaven’, but she’s only 3 and a half. I’m not sure she understands any of that. We keep a picture of her with Michelle on her nightstand and every night she says ‘Goodnight, Mommy’, but I’m not sure what any of that really means to Lily. She knows that other little girls have mothers and that she doesn’t. It doesn’t seem to concern her at this point. What it comes down to, Audrey, is I do the best that I can and know that’s all Michelle would expect from me. It took me a couple of years to get to that point and accept the fact that no matter what I do, Lily will never really know Michelle. It’s the same way with Sam. You let him know how much Jack loved him and that’s the best you can do. That’s all Jack would have ever expected you to do.”

“I guess you’re right,” Audrey agreed. “I just haven’t reached that point yet.”

“Daddy,” Lily called as she abandoned Sam in the sandbox and ran to where Tony and Audrey were sitting. “Can we go to the swings now? Sam wants to go, too.”

Tony smiled at her. Somehow he doubted that Sam had said a word about going to the swings. “Oh, Sam wants to swing, too?”

Lily looked down at her feet for a second realizing that she had just gotten caught making up a story. “Well, I think he would like to swing.”

Tony looked at Audrey. “What do you think?”

“I’m sure Sam would like to swing for a little while, but it’s almost nap time. We should probably be going home.”

“Please don’t go,” Lily begged. “We’re having fun.”

“I know you are, honey, but Sam isn’t going to be much fun when he gets tired and cranky. I’ll tell you what. Next Saturday is Sam’s second birthday. Would you like to come to his party?”

“Can I go, Daddy? Can I go?” Lily asked anxiously.

“I think we can arrange it,” Tony told her.

“Yea!” Lily shouted as she jumped up and down. “I’m gonna tell Sam!” Lily turned and ran back to the sandbox where Sam was still crawling around with cars and dump trucks.

“Thanks, Audrey. That was nice of you to invite her. She’ll like that.”

“You and your father are invited, too. It’s nothing big, just some family and friends. It’s at my father’s house. I’ll give you the address,” Audrey said as she dug a pen and paper out of her bag.

With Sam and Audrey on their way home and all of the toys picked up and returned to their bag, Lily and Tony decided that they wanted ice cream before they headed home. The two walked hand in hand to the ice cream parlor that was just down the street.

“Sam has a nice mommy,” Lily stated rather matter of factly. “I like her.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you like her,” Tony replied.

“Where is Sam’s daddy? Will he be at Sam’s birthday party?”

“Sam’s daddy is in heaven just like Mommy.”

Lily stopped and looked up at her father. “Wow! They’re in heaven together? That’s nice. That means that they both have a friend in heaven. Sometimes I wondered if Mommy was lonely in heaven without you and me, but now I know she has a friend there. I’m glad she has a friend, Daddy. Now I won’t have to worry about her any more.”

Tony smiled at her. He wasn’t sure what to say to her or if he needed to say anything at all. He was, as usual, amazed at how her mind worked. She had never expressed any concern that her mother was lonely in heaven, nor, Tony hoped, had he ever given her any reason to fear that.

Lily tugged on Tony’s hand interrupting his thoughts. “Daddy, can we get our ice cream now? I’m tired and I’m ready to go home and see Pop-Pop. I want to tell him about Sam’s birthday party.”

“Sure, pumpkin,” Tony agreed. “What flavor are you getting?”

The Washington DC spring progressed into a hot, humid summer followed by a warmer than usual fall. Tony’s and Lily’s Saturday outing to the farmers’ market and the park or some other fun venue now included Audrey and Sam on a regular basis. In addition to Saturdays, the foursome would occasionally get together during the week to take in a children’s movie or other event.

“I can’t wait ‘til tomorrow, Daddy,” Lily announced as she climbed out of the bathtub and into the warm, fluffy towel that Tony had draped over his arms.

Tony enveloped her in the towel and began drying her off. “Oh, yeah?” What’s so special about tomorrow?” Tony asked as if he had no idea what she was talking about.

“You know, Daddy!” Lily said amazed that her father could have forgotten something so important. “We’re going to see the Halloween show.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Tony agreed as if suddenly remembering that they had tickets to a local children’s theater company production of a Halloween play. “Now I remember. Sam and Audrey are going, too, aren’t they?”

“Of course they’re going,” Lily said without hesitation. “They’re our best friends. We can’t go without them.”

Tony finished drying Lily off and getting her dressed. She brushed her teeth and kissed Pop-pop goodnight twice before Tony finally tucked her into bed.

“Good night, Daddy,” she said kissing her father’s cheek. Then she waved and blew a kiss at the framed photograph on her nightstand. “Good night, Mommy. I love you.”

Tony turned off the light and, as he did every night, he stared at his beautiful daughter in the glow of the night light and thanked Michelle silently for giving her to him. Lily was all that mattered to him in the world. She was his sun and his moon and his stars. Any modicum of joy that existed in his life was provided by Lily. She was his only reason to live. He leaned over and kissed her again before leaving the bedroom to relax for a little while before he, too, went to bed.

Tony walked into the kitchen just as his father finished cleaning up.

“Good dinner, Dad,” Tony complimented his father as he poured coffee into his Cubs mug. “That was Mom’s recipe for pot roast, wasn’t it?”

“Sure was. That woman could certainly cook,” Roberto Almeida, or Bert to his friends, said with a smile. “I’ve been looking for that recipe for over a year and I couldn’t find it. I finally called Natalie and she had it.”

Tony laughed. “I bet Mom looks down at you and she’s amazed to see you cooking and cleaning and raising a little girl.”

Tony’s father had been a beat cop in Chicago for thirty years. In all that time Tony didn’t think he had cooked dinner more than a dozen times. He had been a wonderful father but he hadn’t been terribly involved in the day to day maintenance of his five children. He had been there for all of the important events, but never had to concern himself with picking them up from school or running them to baseball practice. He had rarely changed a diaper or given a bath. All of that was changed when he moved in with Tony after Michelle’s death. Bert suddenly found himself in the role of “mother” and he took it on willingly. He pulled out all of Eleanor’s old recipes and tried to bring a semblance of normalcy back into Tony’s and Lily’s lives. Tony found it comforting and was grateful to his father for giving up his retirement in San Diego to take care of them.

“Well anything I know about cooking or cleaning or raising children I learned from your mother. So I hope she’d approve of the job I’m doing.”

“She’d more than approve. She’s proud of you, Dad. I know she is,” Tony said as he patted his father’s shoulder. “Don’t forget. You don’t have to make dinner tomorrow night. Audrey and I are taking the kids out to eat before the play.”

“I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you two leave the kids with me and you and Audrey go out to a nice dinner and a movie.”

“You mean like a date?” Tony asked.’

“Yeah, like a date. I was beginning to think you forgot what those were.”

“Why would I want to take Audrey out on a date?”

“Because you’re both young and single and she’s a beautiful woman who shares all kinds of interests with you,” he father told him.

“I’m not ‘single.’ I’m ‘widowed.’ There’s a difference. ‘Single’ suggests that I’ve never been married and that I’m looking for a wife. ‘Widowed’ means that I was married once. I found the love of my life, Dad, and she was taken away from me. There’s no point in trying to recreate that.”

“No one is telling you to try and recreate what you and Michelle had, son. I’m just suggesting that you’ve spent enough time alone.”

“It’s been twelve years since Mom died and I don’t see you going out on dates and looking for a wife.”

“The situation is a little different, don’t you think? I’m 75 years old. I shared the prime of my life with your mother and we raised our children together. You’re spending the prime of your life dwelling on what could have been and trying to raise your child alone. You need to move on, Tony. I know how much you loved Michelle…”

“No, Dad. Not loved in the past tense, love in the present tense. I still love Michelle,” Tony interjected.

“I understand, son. I still love your mother, but I also understand that she’s gone and she’s not coming back. You know, we had lots of plans for our old age, too. We wanted to travel and spend time with our friends and our children. It just wasn’t in the cards and I’ve learned to live with that. There’s no point sitting around thinking about how happy we would be if your mother was still alive. I’m not saying that it doesn’t cross my mind occasionally. Especially when Lily does something cute and I think, ‘Gee, I wish Eleanor were here. That would have made her smile.’ But overall, I don’t dwell on it. You need to do the same thing. I know it’s hard. Believe me, I know, but you have to do it. Lily needs a mother. Look at the way she clings to Audrey when they’re together. I love that child as much as I loved any of my own, but I can’t be her mother. And you need some companionship. As much as I’d like to think that I’m all that you and Lily need, I’m not. You both need a woman in your life and Audrey is perfect for you; you just choose not to see that.”

“I’m reasonably happy with my life right now, Dad, and I wish you’d leave me alone about it. The three of us do fine together. And, if I do say so myself, I think we do a pretty good job with Lily. I appreciate it that Audrey steps in and pinch hits as a mother-figure for Lily on occasion. Audrey’s a wonderful person and I enjoy spending time with her and Sam, but romance is the furthest thing from either of our minds.”

“Maybe it shouldn’t be. Maybe you should let it come to the forefront for a change, Tony. I think it would do you a world of good.” Bert picked up his coffee and took a sip. “I’ve said my peace, son. I won’t bring it up again, but I wish you would at least think about what I said.”

Bert didn’t wait for his son to respond. He knew Tony too well. Tony had listened to what he had to say and hadn’t put up much objection, but in the end he was going to ignore every bit of advice that his father had given him.

What Tony would never have guessed as he watched his father pick up the newspaper and settle into his favorite chair was that a similar conversation had taken place more than once ten miles away at the house Jim Heller shared with his daughter and grandson. It would usually start with Jim suggesting that Audrey invite Tony over for dinner. “I’ll take Sam out for a few hours and you two can have some time alone.”

“What are you suggesting, Dad?” Audrey would ask. “Are you trying to fix me up with Tony?”

“Is that such a bad idea?” Jim would retort. “Do you want to be alone forever, Audrey?”

“I’m 35 years old and have been widowed twice. I’m a bad marriage risk,” Audrey would say only half joking.

“You need to let yourself fall in love again. It would do you good,” Jim would tell her.

“Jack’s barely been gone two years,” Audrey argued. “Mom was gone for at least five years before you went out on a date. Any you didn’t date anyone seriously until recently when you and Eileen started seeing each other. Don’t tell me it’s time for me to move on when it took you years to move on.”

“The only reason it took me this long to move on is that I didn’t find the right person until now. You’ve got the right person. You just won’t admit it!”

“Dad, Tony and I are friends and that’s it. I’ll admit that we’re good friends, but nothing more.”

“Suit yourself, Audrey, but I don’t want to hear you complain if he starts dating other women.” Jim would shake his head and walk away knowing that this was not a battle worth fighting.

Despite their fathers’ attempts at playing Cupid, nothing changed in Tony’s and Audrey’s relationship. And when Thanksgiving rolled around just three weeks later, the two families celebrated the holiday together. Jim and his girlfriend, Eileen, hosted the dinner at Jim’s large, suburban DC home. Sam and Lily managed to wolf down dinner in mere minutes so that they could go to Sam’s playroom and play. The adults, on the other hand, relished the quiet at the table and lingered over dessert and after dinner drinks.

Jim Heller was pouring everyone a glass of port wine when the subject of Christmas arose.

“What kind of plans do you three have for Christmas?” Jim asked Tony. “Are you going to the west coast?”

“I am,” Bert answered. “I’m going to see Natalie for a couple of weeks.”

“Lily and I decided to stay here this year,” Tony said.

“Isn’t that going to be kind of lonely?” Jim asked.

“That’s what I told him,” Bert interjected.

“We’ll do okay,” Tony said somewhat defensively.

“Why don’t you join us?” Jim asked.

“We’d love to come over for dinner. Thanks for inviting us,” Tony said.

“Actually, Eileen and I have a group of friends that goes to Vermont every year for Christmas. They want us to join them. Eileen already has a reservation in the hotel. I was thinking about renting a three bedroom cabin for the rest of us. There would be plenty of room for you and Lily.”

“Jim, that’s awfully generous of you, but I don’t know…”

“Think about it, Tony,” Audrey interrupted. “It’d be fun. They decorate the place for Christmas. Every cabin has a Christmas tree and a fireplace. We can go skiing and ice skating. They have sleigh rides. It’ll be a real old fashioned New England Christmas. The kids will love it.”

“I don’t know,” Tony said again. “Lily and I were just planning a quiet day.”

“You can have a quiet day any day of the year, Tony,” Jim told him. “Christmas is a celebration. Why don’t you come with us? We’re flying up on the 22nd.”

“I’ll have to talk to Lily about it. I don’t want to say ‘yes’ if she isn’t interested.”

Tony wasn’t sure why he was so wary of making this trip. He had originally decided to stay home because travel to the west coast was so difficult during the holidays. Lily hated all of the time spent in the airport followed by a seven hour flight and more waiting at the other end as they picked up luggage and fought the traffic on the highway. When they made the decision to stay home Tony worried that Christmas with just he and Lily might be too quiet. Very quiet moments usually resulted in him having too much time to think and, of course, his thoughts always reverted back to his life with Michelle. Christmas alone with Lily, especially if Audrey and Sam were in Vermont, could become a sad and lonely day.

Vermont, on the other hand, sounded intriguing. It was just a couple hour flight and would be a much easier trip. Besides that, Tony loved to ski and had wanted to teach Lily to ski, also. This was the perfect chance. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. Tony approached Lily who was sitting in the family room watching a movie with Sam.

“Hey, honey,” he said as he sat down beside her. “I’ve got a question for you. I know we were planning on staying home for Christmas, but Sam and Audrey are going away from Christmas and they asked us to go with them. They’re going to a ski lodge. There’ll be lots of snow and I could take you skiing. I know you’ve wanted to go skiing with me. Would you like to go?”

Lily looked at Tony for a long moment. “Will we have to fly?”

“We will have to fly, but it isn’t a long flight like when we go to Aunt Natalie’s. I would just be an hour or so.”

“Will Santa Claus know where we are?”

Tony smiled. “I’ll let Santa Claus know that we’ll be in Vermont so he can deliver your presents there. Maybe Santa could just deliver a couple of small presents to Vermont and then leave the rest here. That way you can open up the rest when we get home.” The practical side of Tony remembered that he didn’t want to have to drag all of Lily’s presents to and from Vermont on a plane.

Lily still seemed unsure. “As long as Santa knows where we are and Sam and Audrey will be there, I guess it would be okay. You promise that you’ll teach me to ski?”

“I promise,” Tony said as he kissed her.

“Okay, then I want to go,” Lily told him brightly.

Tony went back to the living room. “Well, I guess it’s settled. Lily wants to go and so do I. It looks like we’ll be spending Christmas in Vermont.”

Jim and Bert exchanged furtive glances. They had been discussing this for weeks. Both were set on getting their children together and so far their plan was going swimmingly.

December flew by and before they knew it, Christmas was right around the corner. Tony and Lily took Bert to the airport on the 20th for his trip to San Diego. And three days later, they were at the airport again only this time they were the ones boarding the plane. Audrey and Sam had flown to Vermont the day before with Jim and his girlfriend.

Jim was waiting at the airport when Lily and Tony arrived. Although it wasn’t snowing, there was already a foot-and-a-half of snow on the ground and the Vermont wind was whipping show flakes all around them. Lily giggled and tried to catch the flakes on her tongue as they hauled their luggage to Jim’s car. There hadn’t been any snow to date in Washington DC and Lily was thrilled to see the landscape covered in white.

Soon they reached the ski lodge and met up with Audrey and Sam. Audrey had the rest of the day planned out with one outdoor activity after another. Lily got her first try on skis that afternoon and proved to be a natural just like Tony. She was soon swooshing down the bunny slope in her pink ski suit and pint sized skis. The cold air tired everyone out and bedtime came earlier than usual. The early bedtime meant that the kids were up earlier than usual on Christmas Eve and couldn’t wait to get out into the white powder. Again much of their day was spent outside and despite a nap in the afternoon, everyone was tired after dinner.

“So what are you planning for this evening?” Jim asked Audrey and Tony.

“The kids are beat,” Audrey noted as Sam yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I was thinking maybe we could just take a sleigh ride and relax.”

“That sounds like a nice idea,” Jim agreed. “Eileen’s friends are having a party in the hotel. If you don’t mind, I was going to spend the evening with them.”

“No, we don’t mind,” Audrey assured him. “Go and have a good time.”

With dinner complete, Jim and Eileen kissed Sam and Lily goodnight and made their way to the private party. Tony and Audrey gathered up the kids and headed toward the back of the lodge where the horse drawn sleighs picked up passengers for rides around the rural property. A light snow was falling giving everything a fresh coat of white as if nature were tidying up for the arrival of Christmas Day.

They arrived just as another foursome was getting out of a sleigh. The driver, a big man with a ruddy face and a friendly smile, waved them over. “Are you ready for a sleigh ride?” he asked. He rubbed the ears of one of the big draught horses. “Come on over. These guys just love the weather. They’re itchin’ to give you a nice ride.”

“Horses, Mommy!” Sam cried as he and Lily took off running across the snow-covered stone patio and down the few steps to where the sleigh was parked.

Tony and Audrey smiled and followed their children.

“Can we pet them?” Lily breathlessly asked the driver.

“Sure you can. They like to have their ears scratched. They’ll give you an extra special ride if you scratch their ears. Let me lift you up so you can reach,” The driver said as he picked Lily up to the level of the horse’s head.

“Me, too!” shouted Sam. “Me, too!”

“Yes, you too, little guy,” the jovial driver said as he set Lily down and picked up Sam.

Tony and Audrey had reached the sleigh by then and Audrey pulled out a camera to take pictures of the children with the horses.

“Ride now!” two-year-old Sam begged as he tried to climb into the sleigh. “We ride now!”

“Are you two ready?” Audrey asked.

“Yes!” they shouted. Both children jumped up and down unable to contain their excitement.

“Why don’t you get in the sleigh with the kids and I’ll get a picture,” Tony suggested.

Audrey handed him the camera. “Sounds great,” she said as she climbed into the sleigh.

Tony picked up Sam and handed him up to Audrey, then he lifted up Lily who scampered across the seat and into Audrey’s waiting arms. “Everybody smile,” he told them just before the flash filled everyone’s eyes.

“Climb up there with them,” the driver instructed Tony, “and I’ll get a picture of the whole family.”

Tony turned and gave the driver the camera. As he climbed into the sleigh he wasn’t quite sure whether to explain that they weren’t really a family or to let it go but at the moment it seemed unimportant to correct him. So he sat down and pulled Lily onto his lap and leaned in close to Audrey so the four of them would fit in the picture.

“Looks great,” the driver told them. “Everybody smile.” He took the picture and gave the camera back to Tony. “Here’s a blanket. Better tuck it around you and snuggle up tight so you don’t get cold.” Audrey took the blanket and, with Tony’s help, got it all tucked around the four of them. Then they settled in for their ride.

The night air was cold and crisp as the horses made their way over the snow covered roads. A full moon lit up the sky and cast warm shadows everywhere. It wasn’t long before the quiet night and the motion of the sleigh rocked Sam to sleep. He was curled in Audrey’s arms with his head propped against her neck sleeping soundly. Lily rested sleepily against Tony refusing to let herself fall asleep and miss a minute of the ride.

A half an hour later they arrived back at the lodge relaxed and ready to head back to their cabin for a good night’s sleep. Tony helped Lily down from the sleigh and then took Sam from Audrey’s arms so that she could climb down easily. Once they were all out of the sleigh, Tony thanked the driver and handed him a tip.

“Thank you, sir,” the driver said in acknowledgement. “Merry Christmas to you. You have a beautiful family.” He touched Sam’s head. “He’s a handsome boy. And you’re a beautiful young lady,” he said to Lily. He shook his head and smiled as he looked at Tony and Audrey. “Amazing that you got one so blond and one so dark. They’re just darling. Merry Christmas to you all,” he said as he turned his attention back to his horses. “Guess you boys need a drink. Let me unhitch you and we’ll get some water.”

Tony and Audrey turned and started back to their cabin. Sam was now sleeping in Tony’s arms having not even stirred when he was transferred from his mother’s arms to Tony’s. Audrey picked up Lily to carry the tired child the short distance to the cabin. Neither Tony nor Audrey spoke as they walked; a tense silence enveloping the party of four until they reached the door of the cabin.

Tony dug in his pocket for the key. He unlocked the door and held it open for Audrey and Lily. “Okay, time to get these guys in bed,” he said softly to Audrey. Then to Lily, “What do you think, Lil? Time for bed?”

“Not yet, Daddy,” she yawned. “I’m not tired yet.”

“You’re not? Then why are you yawning? I think by the time we get your pajamas on you’ll be ready to do to sleep. Remember you have to go to sleep so Santa Claus will come,” he reminded her.

Lily may not have agreed, but she didn’t protest as Audrey set her down on the floor. “Good night, munchkin,” Audrey said as she kissed her. “I’ll see you in the morning and we’ll see what Santa Claus left.”

“I’ll take Sam,” Audrey told Tony. “Come on, big guy. Looks like you’re already down for the count.”

Tony and Audrey turned and started in opposite directions into their bedrooms to get their children ready for bed. Twenty minutes later Tony emerged and closed the door to the bedroom. Audrey was already finished putting Sam in bed and was arranging a few presents under the Christmas tree.

“Is she asleep?” Audrey asked.

Tony laughed “Her head barely hit the pillow before she fell asleep. The whole time she was telling me that she wasn’t tired and would never go to sleep.” He leaned into the closet near the door where he had hidden Lily’s presents and joined Audrey under the tree to set them down.

Neither was quite sure what happened, but the tension they felt as they walked back to the cabin returned. It filled the air and they both could feel it. They fell silent and spent an inordinate amount of time trying to place the few presents perfectly. Tony finally stopped and turned toward Audrey. “Audrey,” he started. “About what the driver said…about us being a family…” He wasn’t sure what to say next.

“Don’t worry about it, Tony. He didn’t realize. I guess to anyone who doesn’t know us, we look like a family. It didn’t bother me.” Audrey went back to rearranging the presents.

Tony touched her arm and turned her toward him. “That’s what I mean, Audrey. It didn’t bother me either. In fact, I liked it. I liked it that he thought we were a family. Maybe he saw something that we haven’t seen. Maybe it’s time for us to become a family. We care about each other, Audrey. Lily loves you like a mother and you know that I love Sam like he were my own child. The driver was right. We are a family; it’s just time for us to let that happen.”

“Tony, this… this isn’t right,” Audrey stuttered. She stood up and turned away. “Of course I care for you and I love Lily, but… no… I can’t. I’m not ready to start again. I don’t think I’ll ever want to start again. Please, Tony, don’t ruin what we’ve got. Your friendship is so special to me. I can’t imagine not having you and Lily in my life, but…,” she started to cry. “I’m sorry, Tony, but no,” Audrey whispered as she ran toward the room she was sharing with her son.

“Audrey, wait,” Tony called quietly. “I’m sorry, Audrey. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He started to follow her but stopped and let he go into the room and close the door behind her.

Tony turned, his heart heavy, and went into his own bedroom to get ready for bed. It certainly hadn’t been his intention to hurt Audrey. It was a half hour before he emerged. He had showered and changed into flannel lounge pants and a tee shirt. He had considered going straight to bed but knew that if he did he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He wanted the chance to talk to Audrey first, to apologize and to explain himself and.

Tony opened the bedroom door and entered the living room that was essentially the central hub of the cabin. The three bedroom and bathroom suites were situated around it like spokes from a wheel. A little kitchen and dining area was at the other end for people who were inclined to do their own cooking. The living room was decorated with a tall Christmas tree. It was covered in lights and tinsel and lots of gold and red ornaments. The fireplace was decorated, too, giving the room a warm holiday feel. At least it felt that way before I made a fool of myself, Tony thought.

He sat down dejected on the large chaise in front of the fireplace to brood. He became engrossed in watching the shapes in the fire and didn’t hear Audrey enter the room behind him. She crossed the room quietly and walked into the kitchen which was separated from the living room by a breakfast bar.

“I was going to make some hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps,” she said. “Would you like some?”

Tony turned, surprised to hear her voice. “That’d be great,” he said breathing a silent sigh of relief. If she was making him hot chocolate then she wasn’t angry.

Neither spoke again for a few moments while Audrey was in the kitchen. Tony listened to the sounds of the pan on the stove and the clinking of mugs. He liked the sounds. They were the sounds of home and of family. He realized yet again how much he missed having his own family but he wasn’t going to jeopardize his relationship with Audrey and press the issue.

“Audrey…about what I said before, I’m sorry. I was out of line,” he started.

“No, Tony,” Audrey interrupted. “It was me who was out of line. I overreacted and I’m sorry.” She finished stirring the schnapps into the hot chocolate and topped each with whipped cream before picking the steaming mugs up carefully and carrying them to the living room.

Tony repositioned himself on the side of the chaise in order to take the mug from her. Audrey stepped in front of him and he tried unsuccessfully to stifle a gasp.

“Can I assume that you don’t normally dress that way to sleep alone?” he asked.

Audrey smiled. “No, I usually sleep in flannel pajamas.”

“That’s a long way from flannel pajamas,” Tony commented as he took a long look at Audrey. She was dressed in forest green satin pants and a matching satin and lace camisole that left very little to his imagination. “You look gorgeous,” he added in a soft whisper.

“Thank you,” she said as she sat down next to him on the chaise. “I was walking past a lingerie store in the mall the other day and these caught my eye. I wasn’t really sure at the time why I bought them. I told myself that I just wanted to feel pretty again. After Jack died, I got rid of all of my lingerie. I couldn’t imagine wearing them for anyone else ever again and I wasn’t going to wear them to sleep alone. Now I understand that subconsciously this is exactly why I bought them. This is what I wanted to happen. My father’s been trying to tell me for months that we should get together and I’ve been telling him that he’s crazy. Now I know that he was right.”

“I think your dad and my dad were in collusion,” Tony laughed. “And they set us up perfectly.”

“Do you really think they set us up?”

“Absolutely! For the last year Dad and Lily and I had been planning to stay home for Christmas. Then in early November, Dad announces that he wants to go to Natalie’s for Christmas. He said the cold was bothering his arthritis and he wanted a couple of weeks in San Diego. At Thanksgiving, your father invites us to come up here. Now your dad suddenly has a private party to go to on Christmas Eve and we’re left alone. I wonder if he paid off the driver to tell us we were a nice family.”

Audrey and Tony were both laughing now. “I guess you’re right,” Audrey agreed with him. “They played us like a piano.”

“Maybe they did,” Tony said, his tone becoming more serious, “but I think they were right, Audrey. We need each other more than either of us realized. Subconsciously you and I knew it, too. We just didn’t want to acknowledge it, but I’m ready to acknowledge it now.” With that Tony leaned in toward Audrey and kissed her gently. She returned the kiss. Those kisses were followed my more gentle, almost shy kisses, but as time passed, Tony and Audrey found themselves curled together on the chaise kissing passionately.

They kissed for a long time both allowing feelings that had been buried for years to surface again. Tony listened as a soft, breathy moan slipped from Audrey’s throat as he kissed her neck. He liked the effect he was having on her, but he also knew that their children were not very far away.

“I think we better put the brakes on this before the kids wake up and find Mommy doing more than just kissing Santa Claus,” he whispered.

“I think you’re right. Maybe we can arrange to get away by ourselves for a weekend soon.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Tony said as he pulled Audrey into his arms and covered them with a blanket from the sofa. “Maybe we could just spend tonight here together,” he suggested.

“That sounds wonderful,” Audrey agreed as she settled back into his arms and gazed into the fireplace. She suddenly felt warm and loved and happier than she had been since Jack was killed. “Merry Christmas, Tony. I love you.”

“Merry Christmas,” he returned as he pressed a kiss on her forehead for emphasis. “I love you, too.”

Yea!! Finally finished. Now I remember why I took some time off from writing. I love it, but it’s a lot of work and a big time investment. I hope you enjoyed the story and aren’t too mad at me for the ending. Please, please, please review. If you are looking for something else to read, I’ve got a bunch of other stories out there that are gathering cyberdust and waiting for someone to read and review them. Hope you’ll take the time and do that. Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Hope I’ll be inspired to write something again when season 6 starts in less that three weeks!!!