1So denied, so I lied.

He sighed, his elbows resting on the counter, his head in his hands. How could he have messed things up? She didn’t need to say anything, he knew their relationship was coming to a close. The diner was empty. He grabbed a beer from the shelf, examining it, realizing with a pang that it was Zima. He gently placed it on the counter, coughing into his hand. How the hell did I screw up so badly? He asked himself. The little voice inside him said, You didn’t tell her about April, about Anna. You lied. First you were in denial of the fact you had to tell her, then you lied about anything being wrong. You lost her trust, she didn’t have to tell you. The door to the diner banged open and he looked up.

“Lorelai...”

“Listen, we have to talk.” We have to talk. The standard line, code for “I’m breaking up with you.”

“Shoot, then.”

“We’ve been putting off this wedding way too long and I feel like with April and everything that you’re slipping away from me. I don’t want to keep feeling this way. But I don’t want to lose you.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s now or never.”

Are you the now or never kind?

He sighed, rubbing his temples. She looked at him with a look of disgust.

“Luke, the fact that you even have to think...”

“No, no...just give me a second.” He walked out from behind the counter, sat on a stool facing her.

“Well?” As an answer he took a step towards her, clenching his stomach muscles, enveloping her in an embrace and kiss.

Are you willing to be had? Are you cool with just tonight?

He groped behind him grabbing the bottle of Zima. He broke the kiss, holding it up.

“Here’s to forever,” he said gruffly.

Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all to well.

Their lips met over the rim of the bottle, managing to drink at the same time. He wrapped his arms around her and the bottle shattered on the floor; they didn’t care, lost in the moment of passion. A zing went through him, a feeling of living, of excitement and joy.

Here’s to the night we felt alive. Here’s to the tears you knew you’d cry.

He felt a wetness on his cheeks and knew it wasn’t from him. He saw her sobbing as they kissed.

“What, what is it?” he mumbled into her mouth.

“I just...I feel like even though we might be together tonight, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, even though I have a pretty good idea.” She’s right, he thought to himself. Sure, maybe a night of passion where we forget the troubles we have. But sooner or later we’ll have to confront them.

“Then let’s just make this about tonight. Maybe tomorrow...maybe tomorrow will be goodbye,” he managed. Expecting her to say no.

“All right,” she whispered. They sunk into yet another kiss, both crying a little.

Here’s to goodbye tomorrow’s gonna come too soon. Put your name on the line, along with place and time. Want to stay, not to go, I want to ditch the logical. Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well.

They moved up the stairs to the bedroom slowly, never breaking the kiss, tears pooling on their stiffened upper lips and dribbling down. The salt tasted like what it was - bitterness. But yet, it felt so good.

Here’s to the night we felt alive. Here’s to the tears you knew you’d cry, here’s to goodbye, tomorrow’s gonna come to soon.

Later, lying in bed, their backs pressed against each other as they turned away, stifling their sobs in their arms. It was over now, he thought, embarrassed to be crying in front of her. He was always the macho man. Then again, her sobs were far from dainty. He turned and put an arm around her. She shrugged it off but he replaced it. She turned her head to look at him, her face tear stained.

“What?” she whispered, her voice catching.

“Just...I don’t want it to end.”

All my time is froze in motion, can’t I stay an hour or two or more don’t let me let you go. Don’t let me let you go.

She turned to face him, pressing her body into his; they just savored the moment, knowing it was the last one and the end. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, smelling her scent, running his fingers up and down her arms.

“What are you doing?”

“I just want to remember you.” She nodded like this was completely normal.

Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well.

“Why can’t we make it last?” she murmured.

“It wouldn’t last.”

“We could try.”

“It wouldn’t work.”

“You can’t know that, Luke...”

“I lied, I kept secrets. I messed it all up. You didn’t do anything...believe me.”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I’m not that mad, though. I feel like it was a little setback, we could have pushed through it.”

“I’m not good enough for you.”

“Don’t treat yourself like that.” She reached up her head to kiss his lips.

Here’s to the night we felt alive, here’s to the tears you knew you’d cry. here’s to goodbye, tomorrow’s gonna come too soon. Too soon.

He woke early that morning to find her gone, every remnant of her. He fell back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands, his shoulders quaking involuntarily. He sat up suddenly. He had been so stupid. She had said she forgave him, and that was what had been bothering him; he had been afraid she wouldn’t. She was gone now, and she thought he didn’t care. How wrong she was. He dressed and hurried downstairs, past the people in the diner to his car. He drove far, the route he knew fairly well. At the gates of the college he hurried in, grabbing a map, finding his way to the coffee cart. He stopped abruptly when he saw her sitting on a bench with Rory, drinking coffee. It seemed regular for him to see her with rivers running down her cheeks. He stood there looking at her. Her head lifted and she caught sight of him. She stood slowly, waving Rory away. She walked towards him.

“How did you know I’d be here?” she asked hoarsely.

“I know you way too well.”

“So...why are you here, then?”

“I needed to tell you that...I was stupid - I want...I want to try...”

“Yeah?”

“I want to make things work.” As an answer she gave him a light kiss, he deepened it, hugging her to him, and knowing this wasn’t the last time.

“I love you,” he murmured into her hair.

“I love you, too. And I’m not just saying that. This is for real, this time.”

“No more secrets, I’m going to tell you everything.”

“Me too.”

Here’s to the night we felt alive, here’s to the tears you knew you’d cry. Here’s to goodbye tomorrow’s gonna come too soon.

Hope you liked it, the lyrics are from Here’s to the Night by Eve 6.