Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor are we making any money off this fanfiction.

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Vash’s Girl: So… a new story. Whee. This is kind of twisted. It didn’t start out that way. Kind of ended that way, though. Heh. But I didn’t do it alone! I’m not that creative. Or evil. It was our combined minds that did it, blame them.

The Glass Slipper: Yeah, it really didn't start out that way. It was supposed to be an innocent, little LeonSora, with some innocent, under-aged sex. But someone misunderstood my intentions...And drew me into this tawdry affair. Which I love. All the sinister plotting was more fun than it should have been. Hopefully reading this is equally enjoyable.

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WARNING!!!: This story contains something known as INCEST. If you don’t know what incest means, you shouldn’t be here right now. If you do know, and it squicks you, then you shouldn’t be here, either. However, if you are okay with HEAVY incest, then continue onwards. But we will not be blamed for those with fragile minds. All ye who enter, abandon hope.

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Nobody Needs to Know

Chapter One

Down the Drain

-o-o-

“God, it’s cold…” Sora muttered, moving his thimble to the Pennsylvania Railroad. “I think I’d like to buy this.”

“You buy everything,” his brother scolded, pushing blonde spikes out of his eyes as he fished around for the card while Sora handed over the money for the bank.

“Heehee. Well, it’s my strategy for winning,” Sora giggled, accepting his card from Cloud and adding it to the growing pile. He owned nearly half of the property on the board now, and if Cloud didn’t start catching up soon he was definitely going to lose. Even though the game could last for hours, it was still long and grueling in the process. That’s what he loved about Monopoly. Whoever had created it was a genius, especially to play on rainy days like this one.

Cloud mumbled something incoherent, pulling his quilt further around his shoulders as his free hand flicked the dice onto the table. They landed with a clatter, revealing a six and a one, and he cursed when he moved his car, only to land on one of Sora’s more expensive properties. “Damn it, Sora, can’t you control yourself?”

“From what?” Slightly miffed now, the younger of the two held out his hand for the money. “You’re just being a sore loser, Cloud.”

“No, I’m just being cold…”

Sora gave a curt but playful smile as he accepted the fake paper currency, “Whatever, Cloud. You’ve got the warm blanket.”

“Well, don’t forget whose sweater you’ve got on. Not that you could. It’s way too big for your tiny little shoulders.”

“My shoulders are not tiny!” Sora exclaimed, looking down at the university crested hoodie he had grabbed from Cloud’s closet. It really did look several sizes too large draped over his lithe frame. He had been rather surprised when he had put it on. It fit Cloud perfectly. Sora wasn’t that small, was he?

Cloud gave his brother an evaluative stare that caught Sora somewhere between attempting to look larger, and trying to hug himself even tighter in the extra blue fabric to conserve heat.

“Yup, they’re tiny,” he decided with a laugh. “You really need to start working out.”

“Shut up, Cloud! You’re older than me, that’s all.”

“Hm, is that so? I think you’re at the age where you’re going to stay that size the rest of your life, Sora.” But his smile was warm to take to the sting of his words, and it made Sora stop bristling immediately. He kind of slumped back down, hiding his hands in the sleeves of the large hoodie, raising them to his mouth so he could stare contemplatively down at the board.

“It’s not gonna matter how hard you think because the dice are going to land differently…”

Sora shot him an impatient look, then narrowed his eyes back to where his piece was. He was on PA RR right now… just a few more spaces and he’d have that piece of property that no one owned yet… wait, no. Cloud had that, didn’t he?

Frowning, Sora lowered his hands, eyeing Cloud warily. “Hey, do you have New York Avenue?”

Nodding, Cloud withdrew the card from his own small stack. “Yeah, it’s right here?” Then a light came to his eyes, like he had discovered what Sora was asking for. Letting a smirk play along his lips, he held the card between two fingers and waved it around before Sora’s eyes. “What will you give me for it?”

Cloud’s expression was still shining with something that Sora didn’t quite understand as he looked away and sifted through his own properties. No, not States Avenue. Sora really liked that one. His purchase of Virginia Avenue had been especially thrilling as Cloud had nearly beaten him to it. He didn’t want to give that property up either. His brow furrowed and his full mouth pursed as he thought about whether or not Cloud would give him New York Avenue for St. James Place and fifty dollars of Monopoly money. That was a fair trade, wasn’t it?

After what felt suspiciously like a lifetime, Sora looked up to blue eyes that were very much like his own and yet somehow still different. Cloud’s irises held swirls of green that bled into the blue and they were so level with his in that moment that Sora wondered if the blonde had ever looked away. He shifted, feeling strangely uncomfortable as he made his offer.

“Okay, I’ll give you St. James and fifty bucks for New York Avenue.”

Cloud smiled in a way that made Sora think he just liked to see him squirm, or maybe beg, “Nope.”

“Ahh, Cloud,” Sora whined. “Come on. That’s thirty dollars more than your stupid property is worth.”

“But you want it so badly, I’d say its worth a lot more, don’t you think?” Cloud propped an elbow on the coffee table, resting his chin in his upturned hand, his eyes shining deviously now. “How about… Two hundred with Water Works and St. James Place?”

“NO!” Sora exploded. “How is that fair?! If I give you Water Works, then you’ll have both companies!”

“Aaaand if I give you New York Avenue, you’ll be able to start putting houses up.” Wiggling an eyebrow, his brother shifted just slightly, pushing his blanket back and rubbing a hand over the side of his face where blonde stubble was forming. “I don’t think I’m ready to land on a house just yet. That is, unless you can’t give me what I want…” He trailed off meaningfully, eyes glimmering.

Sora stuck his lower lip out into a pout, he couldn’t help it. “…Clooooooud…”

“Soooraaaaaa.” Laughing, Cloud shook his head. “If you’re not going to, then take your turn please.”

Huffing, Sora shuffled through his money, thrusting the one hundred in his face, along with St. James Place and Water Works. In the process, though, his jerky arm movement managed to hit the Chance cards and their money, along with their playing pieces. The board was sent halfway down the coffee table before hitting the edge and flipping over the side, sending paper money everywhere.

“Damn it, Sora…” Cloud tsked, taking his cover off his shoulders so he could sit up and lean over to begin picking up the money. “Guess that ends that game.”

Regretful because his irritation with Cloud had ruined everything, Sora sat where he was, blue eyes peering sadly up at his older brother. “Cloud, I’m sorry…” he whispered.

“Hey, it’s all right,” Cloud said immediately, coming to his side and placing a hand in his brown spikes to ruffle them. “Don’t worry about it, mistakes happen.”

“But I don’t want you to be mad…”

“Aw, I’m not mad, Sora.” Giving him a reassuring smile, Cloud took his blanket and wrapped it around Sora’s shoulders. That was what Sora liked about Cloud—despite the fact that Sora was in high school, he still managed to get upset a lot, and instead of chiding him like their parents did, Cloud was always the first one to try and make him feel better. Maybe that was why he was still sensitive, but Sora didn’t mind. He knew Cloud would always be there, no matter what.

Smiling back, Sora nodded his head and cuddled the blanket around himself. “What do you want to play now?”

“Hmmm…” Cloud appeared to be contemplative. “How about—wrestling!” he suddenly growled, and he pounced.

“Ah!” Sora gasped as he rocked back against the floor in his quilted cocoon, completely at Cloud’s mercy. He immediately struggled to untangle his limbs from the puffy comforter, and just as he managed to break free, Cloud was pulling his leg so that he couldn’t possibly escape. In one movement, Cloud straddled his younger brother’s slim waist and began tickle the boy’s sides. Sora thrashed hopelessly under the constricting weight, Cloud’s thighs tightening around his body and holding him in place.

“Cloud, stop!” Sora pleaded through breathless giggles.

Cloud only shook his head and continued as Sora arched under him, vainly trying to end the torture of his tickling. They hadn’t play fought like this in a very long time. When they had been kids, it had nearly always ended with Sora in tears. There had been a time, as they had grown, somewhere before Sora’s late growth spurt, that the size difference between them had just been too large and wrestling had ceased to be the habit that it had been in their shared youth. Now both boys were incredibly aware of how familiar the position was, how that inevitable closeness felt.

“Cloud! Get off. You’re heavy,” Sora finally complained after putting up with several more moments of Cloud’s antics. His arms were now pinned above his head, Cloud gripping his wrists.

At the command, Cloud paused above Sora and allowed them each to catch their breaths without moving off. Sora reached up with a now free hand, wrist still tingling with the hold Could had on it a few seconds ago, and pushed aside fallen bangs. He was surprised to find a film of sweat over his forehead and mused that their wrestling match had certainly taken the chill out of the air. When he moved his hand away, his eyes locked with Cloud’s.

Cloud’s breathing started to slow, lashes lowering, blue irises looking a lot deeper than they normally did, darker, too, like a storm brewing. It made Sora’s breath catch in his throat—had he ever gotten this close a look at those eyes?—and he could just make out those tiny flecks of green. Cloud’s hair had fallen into his face, as well, spikes damp with sweat, coming out of their peaks, sort of plastered to Cloud’s forehead, and Sora reached up without thinking, brushing them away.

Slender fingers abruptly wrapped around his wrist, and he jerked, startled, only to see Cloud eyeing him even more intently now, his thumb brushing over the inside of Sora’s wrist, playing along the veins. It was brief, but it was enough to incite a shiver, and Sora’s eyes lowered for a moment before glancing back up, not quite yet wanting to end this endless stare. Cloud’s eyes were so pretty… why couldn’t his be like that?

He felt warm breath on his cheek, and he blinked, heart constricting, before there was a loud shuffle in the hallway and they both looked towards the entrance of the living room with alarmed expressions. Seconds later and their father bustled through, only glancing over them for a moment before glancing back to his newspaper.

“Hey, what’d your mother tell you two about wrestling in the house? If you’re going to do it, take it outside, ya hear?”

“Yes, Father,” Cloud said obediently.

Without another word, Cloud lifted his body off Sora’s and straightened his rumpled clothes. He offered Sora his hand, which the younger of the two Shiozu boys took very uncertainly. Sora looked at Cloud with confused eyes, but he allowed himself to be lifted onto his feet. Cloud had tugged a little too hard though, and Sora found his face buried in the dip of a strong chest before he could stop gravity. He stiffened, pushing away, but not before he could stop himself from inhaling the soft, intoxicating scent of Cloud’s skin and feeling its heat all over again.

Sora tried to shake the sensation off, but only managed to look at Cloud as if searching for an explanation. An explanation of why on earth Cloud’s body was so invitingly warm.

“Sorry,” Cloud rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re even lighter than you look.”

“Y-Yeah…” Sora stuttered, finding no obvious answer in Cloud’s face, but just before he turned away he thought he saw that same something from earlier flicker in Cloud’s gaze again. What did it mean? “Well, I’m going to my room. Got some homework to finish.”

His brother took a step closer, sliding his hand into Sora’s hair and giving it an affectionate ruffle. His nails scraped delicately along Sora’s scalp, however, and he shivered hard this time, unable to help himself. Cloud’s hand stilled at that, and for a moment Sora was terrified that he had done something wrong, but when he looked up Cloud was only smiling, still petting Sora’s hair comfortingly.

“If you need help, let me know.”

Sora’s mouth was dry, and it took several swallows against his throat before he could come up with anything to say. “Okay. But I think I’ll be fine.”

He felt Cloud’s eyes boring into his back as he left the room, and he had no idea why it left him feeling oddly warm inside.

-o-o-

Lunch tray in hand, Sora scanned the cafeteria until an unmistakable head of shining silver hair came into view. As if he had read Sora’s mind from across the room, Riku turned and smiled in his direction. The grin was warm and Sora returned it immediately.

“Over here, Sora,” Riku called, shifting right to make room for his friend.

“Hey, Shiozu!” Tidus shouted down the long table before Sora could even sit down. “You guys book the site yet?”

“Of course,” Sora answered immediately, just now lifting his leg over the bench. “Cloud called the campground last night.”

Everyone’s eyes, even Riku’s, regarded Sora with heightening interest at the mention of his older brother. The boys had been doing this for quite a few years, each bringing their friends on the same camping trip. Last time though, Cloud nearly hadn’t made it because work commitments had forced him to show up late, around midnight of their first day there. Sora had never doubted his presence, but the others had reluctantly begun to admit that Cloud’s university lifestyle was making it less and less likely that he would go camping with a group of high school kids.

Selphie let out a poorly contained squeal, “He’s still coming? With his college friends?”

“I don’t know how many of them, but yeah,” Sora said, laughing a little at her excitement. “But Cloud always comes, why wouldn’t he go this year?”

“I don’t know, because he’s a sophomore in college already,” Kairi said, her voice dripping with a bit of sarcasm, but she meant it good-naturedly. “You know, you’re really lucky, Sora, not a lot of people have that sort of relationship with their family like you do. It’ll really pay off one day!” She lifted a spoonful of apple sauce to her mouth.

“Haha, yeah,” Tidus chipped in. “Think of when he dies: if he’s rich, you’ll claim all that inheritance!”

“Or nothing if he’s poor,” Riku added. “And then what a waste of time that would have been.”

Everyone shared a laugh, including Sora, even though he returned it hesitantly. He didn’t like thinking of Cloud like that. It’s not like he was trying to suck up to Cloud. He wasn’t a brown-noser. He just loved his older brother. Tidus didn’t understand it, because he was an only child. Selphie had been raised in a family of six children, so she hadn’t ever been that close to any of her siblings. Kairi was also an only child, and Riku barely managed to get any food around his house with two other siblings and his parents to share it with.

Sora had the relationship he did with his brother because there was only the two of them. That, and they weren’t that far apart in age. It was only natural that they stick together like glue, right?

“Besides,” Sora began, ignoring their attempt to try and playfully stir up some trouble. “Cloud knows how important this trip is to all of us.” He gave Selphie a sly look. “You shouldn’t make fun of him. He’s gathering up those other college friends for you, Selphie, because he knows how into older men you are right now.”

Kairi gasped, lowering her spoon from her mouth. “Hey, what about me?!” she gasped as Selphie smiled in delight, lowering her cheeks as they turned a bright red.

Sora shrugged, waving one hand around in the air offhandedly. “I don’t know…”

“Sora!”

Sora grinned. “Of course, he had you in mind, too, Kairi.”

Kairi nodded her head at Sora in a self-satisfied smirk before she turned to Selphie. With their heads together, the two girls began to plan sleeping arrangements and how to get one of these college boys into their tent. Something that Riku, with narrowed eyes, quickly informed them would not be hard to do. The look he gave Kairi was especially meaningful. She smiled, and when she turned back to Selphie, her enthusiasm was more measured.

Riku shook his head and spoke softly as he turned Sora, “You coming over to Tidus’s after school?”

“What are you guys doing?” Sora asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

Riku chuckled, kindly scolding, “Chew first, Sora. And we’re just going to playing video games, but it should be fun.”

“Oh, I’d really like to, but I think Cloud is picking me up after school to go shopping for some new sleeping bags before we go camping,” Sora said apologetically as Riku’s face fell. “You can come, though. I mean, we’ll probably go get something to eat after.”

“Yeah,” Riku nodded in acceptance of that plan, “sure.”

Sora smiled, knowing that Riku would be pleased with anything that didn’t involve going home and being yelled at for interrupting someone’s studying. Especially if that anything involved Cloud.

“Great. Then it’s settled.”

-o-o-

The air felt good pushing through his hair, zipping past his ears, roaring along as they cut through it at the speed of seventy-five miles per hour. Cloud was a speeder, but he was a good driver, at least, and it was nice that he had a convertible. It made Sora feel sort of free, and the windshield was taking away the sting of the air.

“Are you sure we can’t pull the top up, Cloud?” Riku yelled from the back seat, fighting to be heard, along with trying to keep his hair intact. He had his hands over it, pushing it back into a ponytail, but the strands were too choppy and short and kept flying free around his face. “This is really annoying, and I didn’t bring a brush!”

“Sure, after we stop,” the blonde replied, not taking his eyes off the road as he flipped on his blinker and cut off a red truck behind them. “But it’ll be a while, so try and suck it up okay?”

Riku moaned pitifully, but did as told, slumping down in the seat and closing his eyes. He looked very disgruntled, brows furrowed, lips pursed, legs sprawled out onto either side of the floorboard. He had his fingers shoved in his hair now, palms half over his eyes, silver strands of hair peeking through and shimmering in the bright sunlight.

Despite Riku’s discomfort, it really was a pleasant day. There wasn’t even a rain cloud in sight. It was the warmest it had been for weeks. Riku would probably feel better once he got someplace and was able to fix his hair and primp in the mirror for a few minutes. That was the thing about Riku—despite being really masculine, he still had his feministic characteristics. It was always interesting to watch them play out, too.

Stifling a giggle, Sora turned back around in his seat, smiling into the wind. Cloud’s fingers moved briefly over his head in a brotherly tousle, but when Sora didn’t shove him off like he normally did, the fingers lingered, sliding down to the base of his skull, cupping around the nape of his neck. Cloud’s fingers were a little cold from the wind, and they felt relaxing against his warm skin.

His smile turned dreamy, and he closed his eyes like Riku had, tilting his head back against the hand.

Cloud began to slow the car for an approaching red light, his fingers now playing with the short hairs at the back of Sora’s neck. The wind was fading and the road required less of his attention. Vehicle still easing along the road to the stop line, he allowed himself to look right and smile at Sora’s serene expression.

“Guys, I—” Riku finally looked up and stopped mid-sentence. Cloud was gazing over at Sora, not the road, like he wanted to say something. Or as if he had just whispered words that had blown past Riku in the current of air created by the car and was now waiting calmly for his little brother’s response. The moment seemed strangely intimate and Riku began to feel like he was intruding on the brothers’ privacy.

But the sound of his voice had jolted Sora back to reality, and Cloud drew his hand away, albeit leisurely. Riku swore he could see Sora shudder at the lingering touch, but that could have been his imagination. That slight shiver had passed before he could really think about it. In an instant, the scene before him had shifted completely; Cloud now gripped only the steering wheel and Sora was twisting around in his car seat to smile over his shoulder at Riku. Playful. Bright as the sky around them.

Sora’s didn’t seem to care that his face was delicately flushed, and Riku couldn’t have guessed if it was from the wind or something else, “You okay back there?”

“I’m fine,” Riku huffed. “How much further is it?”

“I told you that it would be a while, or has growing older made you listen less?” Cloud teased, throwing him a smirk in the rearview mirror.

Riku glared back, crossing his arms and turning his head to the side. A little kid was looking right back at him from the tinted windows of the Suburban pulled next to them. She was kind of cute—or would be, if it wasn’t for the way she had her nose pulled up by her thumb into a pig’s snout.

“Oh, real beautiful, kid,” Riku snapped, even though she couldn’t hear him, and muttered, shaking his head. Why did he have to sit in the back? Sora didn’t care about his hair—he wouldn’t mind if it got in a mess from sitting back here and letting Riku in the front. But nooo, Cloud had insisted that Sora claim the front seat. And since it was Cloud’s car, Riku had had to agree.

“Aw, co’mere, Riku,” Sora instructed, arms outstretched towards the back seat, knees now digging into the cushioned back of his own.

Riku eyed his best friend skeptically, “What are you doing?”

“It’s not really that far to the store. Cloud just likes to see you squirm. It is kind of funny, but I’ll help hold your hair in place if you’d like.”

“How you are going to that?” Riku asked in stubborn disbelief. As if fixing his hair was going to be that simple.

But he leaned forward and Sora reached over, gingerly brushing sun-glistened silver hair out of Riku’s eyes. Sora flattened the windswept locks, carefully separating them into their proper positions, until a satisfied grin spread across his lips. Even with Riku’s hair back in place, nearly as perfect as it was usually kept (in Sora’s eyes anyway), the amazed brunette allowed himself to play with the silken strands a while longer. They really did possess a touchable softness.

Normally, Riku would have swatted the hand away, but Sora’s touch was gentle and impossible to resist. It felt nice to allow someone to play with his hair. Riku would have preferred it to be Kairi, but Sora wasn’t so bad.

Sora finally let go and winked at Riku in assurance. “There. Now I’ll protect you from the wind, Riku! Just stay close and—”

“Sora, sit properly.” Cloud’s voice was tighter then Riku had heard it sound in a long time.

“It’s fine, Cloud. I’m all right.”

“Sora, I mean it. The light’s going to turn. In your seat now.”

“No, Cloud. I—”

Sora stopped as Cloud’s fingers curled over the hem of his jean, in the gap between fabric and skin at the small of his back. He let out a startled cry, Cloud tugging him down until his knees bent. Sora went red and shot Cloud an angry glare, not moving from his position.

“It’s okay, Sora,” Riku said quickly, his eyes telling Sora to listen to Cloud. He tried to take the edge off the situation with a joke. “It’s too late for my hair now. We fought a valiant battle. But don’t you guys worry. It will be back in fine, lady-killing form tomorrow.”

Sora eyed Cloud for a moment longer, then finally did as he was told, pushing up from his position over Riku and slumping back down in his seat, but not without a huff. He crossed his arms, glaring out to the right, not seeing the trees or the grass whipping past as they took off from the white line, the engine purring and the wind resuming its roar.

Behind him, Riku looked towards the eldest brother, wondering what his problem was. He sucked in a gasp of surprise when he found himself on the end of the darkest glare he had ever seen. Those blue eyes were narrowed to almost slits, searing straight through Riku, making him uncomfortable and slightly hurt. He tore his gaze away first, staring down at his hands in his lap, ignoring his hair whipping around his face for now.

Geeze. Why was Cloud so mad?

The rest of the ride to the sporting goods store remained in silence, filled only by the usual highway sounds and that irritating wind. Cloud kept his fingers clenched tightly on the steering wheel, Riku remained quiet in his seat, and Sora tried to ignore the angry burning in his heart. Cloud had never talked to him that way before, at least not in a while. What was his problem?!

When they were just about to pull in, however, he felt Cloud’s hand touch his knee, cupping over it, and when he raised his gaze to Cloud’s, he found the blonde giving him an apologetic expression. His thumb stroked once over Sora’s knee, making it jerk up because he found it ticklish, but he smiled at the same time. He couldn’t stay that mad at Cloud for long, could he?

“We’re here,” Cloud announced, returning the smile to Sora before pulling into the first vacant parking spot he came across. He turned the ignition off, keys jingling, and held down the backseat so that Riku could climb out. As the silver-haired boy landed agilely on his feet, he tried to ignore the dirty look of contempt that Cloud was still giving him, but it was hard.

Riku gritted his teeth and took the stretch of black pavement to the store entrance in long strides with Sora in between him and Cloud. He was still vaguely annoyed with the tone Cloud had taken towards him. Here he had been looking forward to seeing the university student all day, and Cloud had the nerve to glare at him. Just because Sora had tried to help him. Tried to help him after what Cloud’s ridiculous convertible had done to his hair.

He sighed, wishing he had just gone to Tidus’s place. Next to him, Sora seemed to sense his bitterness, but was too preoccupied with fears of alarming Cloud again to do much more than smile.

“Sleeping bags are at the back, right, Cloud?”

Sora sounded incredibly obedient now, and Cloud’s lips curled upwards imperceptibly, “Yeah, that’s right.”

Making a beeline for the nearest bathroom, Riku left their side, and the blonde took this opportunity to grab Sora by his elbow and gently steer him towards the back of the store, the tiny smirk on his face not quite leaving yet. Sora wondered what it meant, but didn’t bother pressing, letting himself be led, his eyes scanning over the numerous shelves they were passing. Baseball, football, soccer, ski gear…

“So are you excited about the trip?” Cloud asked conversationally, the fingers of his free hand skimming over the gripping of a tennis racket.

“Yeah!” Sora beamed, pulling away so that he could admire a snowboard, wondering how much it would cost just to buy one and then everything that had to go with it. It was pretty expensive, and it usually didn’t snow around here for another month or so. Maybe their family could go to the mountains again this year. It had been a while… what, since Sora was seven? Ten years now. Hmm…

“I’m surprised that you’re not tired of me coming with you guys on this trip yet,” his brother said at his back, and Sora glanced up and over his shoulder to see a crease between Cloud’s furrowed brows. He seemed kind of worried…

Letting his smile spread, Sora shook his head. “No, of course not!”

Even after this earnest reply, Cloud’s pale lips remained set in a straight line, “Riku seems a little… annoyed with me.”

“Don’t worry about it, Cloud. He’s always like that about his hair. He was really excited to see you again. Everyone at lunch was when I told them… you… were… coming…”

Sora’s voice slowed as he spoke the last words. Cloud was watching him so intently that the sentence seemed to die in his throat. It suddenly struck Sora, as he looked away and saw Cloud’s knuckles go white around the tennis racket, that maybe his brother didn’t really care about Riku at all. Maybe not Riku, and definitely not Selphie, with her girlish fantasies. That wasn’t the sort of reassurance Cloud was looking for.

“As long as you want me there,” Cloud muttered through his teeth, no longer looking at Sora.

The younger brother paused at the intensity, but quickly forced himself to shake it off, deciding that Cloud was just feeling a little sensitive about turning twenty in a few months. “Geeze, Cloud. I already told you I did. What? You think just because you’re getting old I’m going to be embarrassed by you?”

“I’m not getting old,” Cloud corrected, his expression beginning to lighten. “I’m merely getting older.”

“Sure, Cloud…” Sora rolled his eyes, but tossed a big grin the blonde’s way.

“Co’mere,” Cloud commanded with a warm laugh, jerking his head over his shoulder a bit.

“Nope! No horseplay in the store, Cloud!”

“I should hope not,” Riku’s voice cut in.

Both brothers looked up to see the other boy standing there, one eyebrow raised sardonically, his hair still mussed but not as bad as it had been in the car. Sora knew that the moment Riku got home, he’d be attacking that mess with a brush. Still, though, Riku looked beautiful no matter what.

Cloud merely glanced at Riku before brushing past him, his eyes on the sleeping rolls that they were now nearing. Riku took this moment to come close to Sora, whispering low enough that the blonde or anyone else wouldn’t be able to hear, “Sora… something’s going on.”

Frowning, the brunette rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “What do you mean?”

Riku jerked his head in Cloud’s direction but didn’t take his eyes off Sora. “You know what… Cloud’s being really different, and why is he getting so mad that all of us are going on the trip?”

“He’s not getting mad!” Sora was quick to defend, his frown deepening. “Maybe you’re just being a bit sensitive, Riku. Cloud’s hurt because you seem irritated with him.”

Riku opened his mouth, snapped it shut, something unreadable passing through his eyes. The two boys stared at each other for a tense moment, then Riku let out a curt, “Mmmmhm,” and pivoted, striding away from Sora and to the right. Sora didn’t know what was in that direction, but frankly he didn’t care. He quickened his step and hurried back to Cloud’s side, touching his arm.

His brother looked down at him, raising his eyebrows. “Sora?”

Sora’s lower lip trembled for a moment. “…You’re right, Cloud, I don’t know what Riku’s problem is. He tried to totally go off on me just a minute ago.”

Cloud narrowed his eyes, but when he spoke his voice was warm and consoling, “It’s not your fault, Sora.”

“Well, I wish he wouldn’t be like that. I wanted us to have fun, not start fighting.”

With a forgiving expression, Cloud reached out and laid his palm over Sora’s shoulder, “Hey, don’t worry about it. Let’s just get you a good sleeping bag. Wouldn’t want you waking up shivering like the last time.”

“That’s okay, though, because we just cuddled and it got warm, remember?” Smiling at the memory, Sora reached over, grabbing onto the first sleeping bag he saw and began to examine it. Cloud was close behind him, but he spoke in a measured voice this time, softly, as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be heard or not.

“You don’t think we’re a bit too old for that now?”

“I don’t think so,” Sora replied thoughtfully, looking up and puckering his brows. “…Hm. Neither of us mind. Right?” He glanced towards his brother, who was letting his lips spread into that tiny little smirk again.

“No, Sora,” he assured him, reaching over to slip his fingers through spiky locks of hair. “Neither of us mind at all.”

-o-o-

Sora sighed, chewing on the end of his pencil, chemistry notes laid out across his desk before him. Chemistry? Why the hell had he taken chemistry? Well, he knew why. Because Riku was in it.

That thought only brought another frown to his lips. Riku was still acting weird about the trip to the sports store with Cloud, and although Sora was trying to understand, he really couldn’t. So Riku’s hair had gotten a little messy? It’s not like Kairi was around to see it. It was only Sora and Cloud. And as beautiful as Sora had to admit that Riku was, he felt only friendship for the attractive young boy. Not that he needed to depress himself further by mulling over his lack of a love life. High school boys just didn’t do it for him.

He tapped his pencil against the mahogany desk and was just about to force himself to tackle the difficult problem again when he heard a knock at his door.

“Sora?”

The brunette smiled at the sound of Cloud’s voice and leaned back in his chair, calling out, “Come in!”

The door opened and a head full of blonde spikes peeked around it, revealing cautious blue eyes. “Is it okay…? I know you told me the other day you didn’t want help with your homework.”

“Oh, that was with English. Heehee, you’re really good at chemistry, right? Help me!” Sora gathered up his papers and books and began to move over to his bed with them so that Cloud could sit down. Plopping down on his stomach, he pointed with his pencil to the particular problem that had been burdening him with its difficulty for the last few minutes. “I don’t get how to do this one…”

“Hmmm.” Humming thoughtfully, Cloud carefully closed the door behind him before padding across the room and climbing onto the bed with Sora. He nestled in to rest beside him, holding onto the page as his eyes skimmed carefully over Sora’s messy handwriting. “Well… Give me that pencil.”

A few minutes later and they had it mostly figured out, with Sora laughing at his own denseness and Cloud smiling at how cute it looked.

“Gah, I’m such an idiot!” Sora cried, rolling over onto his back, not caring how that crumpled the papers now beneath him. “I swear I’m not always this dense…”

Cloud patted his pudgy stomach and grinned before letting his hand rest there. He admired the rise and fall of it beneath his touch, even with Sora’s breathing, and Sora quieted, a usual smile on his face as he closed his eyes and breathed in deep.

“Mmm, are you wearing that new cologne again?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s it called?” Sora asked curiously, slipping open his eyes halfway to peer up at his brother, who was eyeing him intently again, fingers rubbing against Sora’s stomach. It felt nice, sending warm tendrils through him, flickering against his heart and his mind, calming him down from the migraine that had been developing over that stupid homework assignment. Cloud always knew how to make him feel better.

“Be Delicious. You like it?”

“Yeah, I love it.” Giggling a little, Sora shifted, making Cloud’s hand slide to his side, where he resumed his casual stroking. Sora pressed his teeth into his bottom lip, trying not to laugh. “Hey, that tickles…”

“You’re ticklish everywhere!” Cloud exclaimed with feigned exasperation. “Maybe if you got a little more contact…”

“It’s not for lack of opportunity,” Sora jutted the lip he had been chewing on, “if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

“Of course not, you’re my little brother after all.”

Sora grinned, “That’s rriiight.”

Cloud returned the smile, looking down as his squeezed Sora’s waist, admiring how the soft flesh yielded to his touch. “You’ve got more pudge than I ever had though,” he teased affectionately.

“Shut up!” Sora cried indignantly, scrambling out of Cloud’s grasp and onto his knees. “Let’s see where you’re ticklish.”

Cloud laughed, “I believe you’ll find that I’m not ticklish anywhere.”

“Slut,” Sora muttered jokingly, his face scrunched cutely as he planned his attack.

“Hmm, not quite,” Cloud returned, easily wrapping an arm around Sora’s shoulders and pulling him back down against his side. “But you know, you are smarter than I was at your age,” he added, ruffling his brother’s hair. And then, lower, voice warm and slightly rumbling as he pushed Sora’s head to rest against his chest, “I’m so proud of you…”

Sora couldn’t help but smile at that, closing his eyes again. “Really…?”

“Mhmm…”

“So if you’re so proud of me then I guess you won’t mind when I do this!” Sora cried suddenly, pulling back only to pounce forward again, his hands mercilessly attacking Cloud’s sides as they two boys fell back on the bed.

“Oof!” Cloud gasped, laughing as he raised his legs, bent them at the knees, spreading them and letting Sora fall between them onto his stomach where he easily grabbed the brunette’s wrists and held them above his head. “I’m not ticklish and you’re slow.”

“I am not!” Sora struggled with his arms in the air for a few more seconds, before relenting. “Lemme go, Cloud.”

Cloud half obliged, not releasing his grip on Sora’s wrists until he had pulled his brother back against his chest. Sora didn’t fight the embrace at all this time. He was tired and Cloud was enticingly warm, so he only snuggled into the position the blonde had arranged for him. The agreeable shift of weight made Cloud sigh, exhaling as Sora’s head settled itself in the dip of his muscles, so close to his heart that Cloud wasn’t at all surprised when Sora murmured something about hearing its beat.

“This is nice, right, Sora?”

Sora nodded along Cloud’s upper torso. “We could move all these papers and stay like this a while.”

“Yeah, we should. Remember when we shared a room?” Cloud mused. “I don’t think you ever slept in your own bed.”

“I know. Sometimes I think it’s still a shame that Mom finally moved you down to the guest room.” Pouting a little, Sora slipped his eyes closed, one hand coming up to rest against Cloud’s side. “We were the closest those days.” He released a sigh, slightly wistful. “Now you’re in college, and it’s not like it used to be.”

“Oh? I thought our bond was stronger than ever,” Cloud disagreed, letting his arms come up to rest comfortably around Sora’s slender waist. “Besides, if you feel that… you want to be closer, then that’s fine by me. Whatever makes you happy, Sora.”

Sora paused for a moment, replaying that sentence over in his head, trying to figure out what it had meant and where it was coming from. Whatever made him happy? Cloud hadn’t ever quite said it like that before… There seemed to be some sort of hidden meaning behind it, but when Sora lifted his head to stare down into Cloud’s face, he was met with nothing but a sweet smile.

Hmmm…

Cloud’s hands shifted, came to rest on the swell of Sora’s hips, and he tilted his head a little. “So what was that about moving papers?”

The younger brother grinned, poking Cloud in the nose. “I can’t move when you’re holding me captive, Cloudy.”

Cloud’s eyes darkened inexplicably at the innocent statement, but Sora failed to notice. “I don’t really see you trying to get away.” The blonde smirked, still cradling Sora’s motionless hips. He moved his hands back and forth in opposite directions until Sora’s body swayed under his guidance, as if to demonstrate that the brunette was more than free to move if he wanted to. As if to say that he had always been so. Feeling captured was all in Sora’s imagination; Cloud would never do that. No, Cloud only did what Sora allowed. What Sora asked for.

Sora giggled at the spinning sensation, not at all bothered by the approach Cloud had taken. “Okay, okay. I’m going.”

Pushing off of Cloud’s knees, fingertips squeezing around the hard caps, Sora sat straight up. He looked around at the mess of papers and limbs on his sheets and began to arrange his books in a stack that would ultimately be abandoned at his bedside for the rest of the night. Cloud lifted himself into a plank on his elbows and reached under his back, handing Sora the final pieces of loose-leaf, before settling back down on Sora’s forgiving mattress. He watched Sora lean over the edge of the bed, shirt falling forward along the slope of his spine to reveal pale skin as he deposited his schoolwork on the floor. When Sora popped back up, Cloud was waiting with an inviting smile.

Sora rolled his head back comfortably, before instantly falling back into his previous position, his gentle weight once again gracing over Cloud’s compliant body. This time though, he pulled a pillow behind Cloud’s neck, watching with softened features as those flaxen tresses splayed across its surface. When he was content with his brother’s comfort, Sora pulled a thin blanket with him as he positioned himself over Cloud’s broad chest, their bodies intertwined under the quilt.

With a content sigh, Cloud absently stroked the back of Sora’s neck, murmuring a simple word that shouldn’t have made the younger brother tremble like he did. “Happy?”

Wondering at the odd warmth settling in his stomach, so different from usual, Sora brought a fist up to his mouth and bit into his knuckles, his other arm lying loosely against Cloud’s side, tiny shudders running down his spine from the touches on his sensitive neck. Was he happy? Yeah, he was happy…

He nodded his head, cheek rubbing against the soft, cottony surface of Cloud’s hoodie, hummed in his throat when those fingers slid up into his hair. It was warm and comfortable here. How could he not be happy?

-o-o-

“Hey, Cloud!” Sora cried as he ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, the house phone clutched in his hand. He breathlessly skidded to a stop in front of his brother’s door, lifting his fist to bang against it. “The reservation called. Apparently a family camping in the black trail cancelled, and they wanted to know if we’d like to do that one instead?”

“Are they still on the phone?” came his brother’s muffled voice through the door.

“No. I didn’t get to the phone on time, there was a message left on the answering machine.” Lowering his fist, Sora placed it to his stomach instead, thinking that maybe he should work out some more. God, this cramp…

“All right. Come in.”

Sora hurriedly obeyed, determined to have Cloud call the campground back and secure the more advanced trail. He knew Riku would be pleased with the upgrade and it meant that they would all have more privacy at their site, making the receipt of a noise complaint less likely. In his eagerness, Sora burst through the doorway, already holding the phone out for Cloud when the sight before his eyes stopped him in his tracks.

Cloud’s shirtless back was to him, straining, muscles rippling and shoulder blades jutting as he fixed his blonde spikes. Light pants were slung low over Cloud’s narrow hips, and with his hands in the air, they seemed in danger of slipping down those last few centimeters that stood to protect Cloud’s modesty. Just a little farther… The cramp in Sora’s stomach was replaced with an unusual jolt, but he didn’t cease his spell of admiration.

The blonde’s body was simply perfect. So firm that it looked to have been sculpted from the most exquisite marble, and yet Sora was sure that no rock could ever be so immaculately white. The exposed skin was just so flawless. Why, oh why, did Sora feel a sudden urge to touch it? Maybe because he knew for a fact that it was as soft as it looked.

When Cloud turned around, he looked completely at ease with his half-nakedness and merely smiled at Sora’s soft, speechless awe. Oh God. Sora’s head spun. His mind screamed hipbonehipbonehipbone! and that something unexpected continued to stir in his gut. The front of Cloud, that deliciously flat stomach, was even more beautiful to behold than the back. Sora knew he was going to have to look away, but he couldn’t find the strength, the enticing dips and curves of Cloud’s body continuing to transfix his blue eyes, pulling his gaze upwards. The faint outline of ribs. Those nipples. They were pink and pert and Sora had never thought that nipple appearance was something to be concerned about, but Cloud’s were somehow perfect. Ideal, if such a thing could be said.

Just below a defined collar bone, towards Cloud’s left shoulder, there lay a small birthmark. Sora had also never paid much attention to things like that, but seeing the freckle on Cloud’s skin made him realize that he had the same mark on his own. He’d never been as aware of it as he was in that moment. It struck him while watching Cloud, as vaguely amusing, how alike and unlike their bodies were. Despite the utter absence of pudge and all the perfectly defined muscles on Cloud’s form, a small spot still proved their brotherhood.

Then Sora realized that he had been silently staring for far too long and he blushed. “I… I can come back,” he stammered. Why was he so nervous around his brother all of the sudden? Well, his own body pretty much paled in comparison to the one before him. Maybe he was just… intimidated?

“Sora,” Cloud chuckled fondly. “Don’t be so shy. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Oh, no. Cloud was wrong. It was definitely not something Sora had seen before. Cloud hadn’t looked that good the last time they’d gone swimming together.

“I… The number’s on the phone…” Sora paused, finally looking away as he tossed the cordless on Cloud’s bed. “I’m gonna go.” He didn’t know what else to say. Don’t be so shy. But what was he supposed to do?

“Hm, wait a moment,” his brother replied, and Sora made the mistake of glancing up again, catching those rippling muscles as Cloud turned, looking into the mirror over his dresser. “I think I have a mole on my back, but I’m not sure.”

“A m-mole?” His hand trembling slightly, Sora ran his fingers through his hair. “So what do you want me to do about it?”

“Don’t be so rude, Sora,” Cloud tsked. “I can’t see it. Can you tell me if you see it or not?”

Sora didn’t want to bring his gaze back over that broad expanse of flesh, especially with how edgy his nerves were right now, but he reasoned that he was being stupid. Cloud was his brother. What did he have to fear? It seemed, oddly enough, that the answer to that question would be himself, though he had no idea why.

Stepping closer, Sora scanned that pale skin for any blemishes and finally found the mole that Cloud was talking about near the small of his back. He looked away again quickly, nodding his head, folding his arms over his chest. “Yeah, you have one.”

“Hm, yeah, thought so. Could you touch it so I know where it’s at?”

Sora nearly jumped a foot back, he was suddenly so eager to get out of the damned room. “W-What?! Cloud, that’s what a mirror’s for!”

Cloud actually looked hurt at that, blue eyes narrowing as his brows furrowed. It seemed to be a familiar expression lately—hurt, worried, anxious. Why? Why was he so paranoid? “Sora, I told you that I couldn’t see it in a mirror, what makes you think I know where it is?”

“I—I…” The brunette faltered, suddenly at a loss for words. Cloud was right. He really did need to stop being rude. If Cloud couldn’t see the damn thing, why was it such a big deal for Sora to just point out where it was? What would it cost him? Possibly my sanity.

Completely unnerved now, Sora let out a trembling breath and nodded once, coming back towards his brother, slipping a hand up and pressing his fingers against the small of his back, over the small, brown mole. “It’s right…” he began, only to trail off as the soft, warm skin shuddered slightly and a gasp that wasn’t his own filled the air.

“…”

Wetting his lips, that heat from earlier suddenly singing through him, the jolt becoming knots in his stomach that tightened until he could barely breathe, Sora brushed his fingers over that patch of skin again. His lashes lowered when he heard the gasp return, deeper this time, carrying more of a lilt to it. Sort of like… Cloud had… moaned, almost… maybe… possibly…

He didn’t stop his hand from pressing flat against Cloud’s back, palm rubbing into it as his fingers began to creep up, tracing over a prominent spine, and then to those shoulder blades he had admired minutes before. They flexed back into his touch, and Sora took a step even closer to his brother, his other hand coming up, joining the first. Such warm skin… warm, delicate skin…

Then, Sora’s mind started to turn again, the enchantment of Cloud’s soft flesh and low groans giving way to reality. He withdrew his hands hastily and brought one of them up to his mouth, hiding a whimper. What the hell was he doing? Again his stomach twisted, this time with painful confusion, and he wanted to run from the room, but his feet were rooted in place.

“Holy shit,” Sora whispered against the back of his hand, lips quivering.

Cloud turned around, that familiar pacifying expression on his face. He was going to do it again; he was going to make Sora forget that anything was wrong. The younger brother moaned inwardly. He didn’t want that this time. He didn’t want Cloud to stroke his hair and squeeze his shoulder and tell him it was all right. It wasn’t okay anymore. For the first time Sora saw all the boundaries they were crossing and the realization was almost sickening.

“Hey, Sora…” Cloud stopped as the shuddering brunette tore away from his outstretched arm.

Sora’s voice cracked, “I’m going this time. Just…” In his efforts to avoid Cloud’s questioning stare, he caught sight of the phone lying atop blue sheets. “Just call the campground, okay?”

He was out the door before Cloud could say otherwise.

-o-o-

“Hey, don’t you trust me?”

“Trust you?”

“Yeah…”

“I… guess so.”

“What does that mean?”

“Just that—I’ve always trusted you.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve always trusted you… but why?”

The shadow shifted, seemingly confused. A hand raised and then lowered before lifting yet again and rubbing over the back of its neck. The shadow began to take more of a humanish form then, becoming tall and slender, with spiky hair and familiar blue eyes. Darkness seeped away just a little, revealing peach-colored skin and a smattering of freckles along a face that looked so similar to his own it was sometimes scary when he looked in the mirror and thought he saw his brother looking back at him.

“What do you mean, why?” The shadow’s other hand reached out, although now it wasn’t much of a shadow anymore. Just a… phantom. “Why can’t you trust me now?” The phantom was angry. It advanced a step.

He was already running, his footsteps echoing against the tiled floor that gave way to linoleum and then to dirt and then to water and then he was falling face first, unable to breathe, bubbles exploding through his surroundings.

“Why can’t you trust me now?”

-There are invisible lines you must never cross, Sora-

-It’s a sin-

“Why can’t you trust me now?”

-A very bad sin-

Why can’t you trust me now?

Everything was growing dark, so dark.

-Hey… trust me-

He woke up inhaling sharp gulps of air, frantically tearing at whatever had managed to wound itself around his neck in his sleep. His sheets came away seconds later, and he stared down at them, lungs constricting, throat burning as he panted. Dear God, he had almost suffocated himself.

Sora swiped a hand over his brow, and it came away damp. A quick glance at the alarm clock revealed that it was three in the morning. Much too early to be up just yet. …But how was he going to get back to sleep now?

Sighing heavily, he plopped back down, stretching his limbs out across his mattress. Who cared about sleep? Just how was he supposed to deal with Cloud? His dream had brought things back into stark reality, not to mention what had transpired the day before. He could still remember Cloud’s creamy skin and the husky noises he had been making as Sora ran his fingers all over it.

Nausea swept through him, and he swallowed hard, closing his eyes, trying to blot out the scene from his head but it was mostly in vain. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to forget it. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t really started it, if he hadn’t been the one standing there, ogling Cloud’s body, and then to go so far as to touch it, even at Cloud’s request. Cloud hadn’t requested anything past finding his mole for him, though…

What was even more pressing was that—if Cloud couldn’t see the mole, then how did he know that it was there? Sora had one of his own moles on his left hip. He didn’t even feel it half the time. …So what did that mean?

He thought back to everything that had happened between them lately. The wrestling match, Cloud touching his neck the way he had in the car, Cloud steering him towards being angry at Riku—poor Riku! And he hadn’t even done anything, and yet Sora had verbally attacked him because Cloud had mentioned that he was “upset” with Riku. And then… the other day. On his bed. The cuddling…

Sora was on his feet and running to the bathroom before he could let the contents of his stomach go on the floor. Minutes later and he sat there, the tile cool against his knees as he tilted his head back and tried to ignore the acidic burn in his throat.

…What have I done?

-o-o-

Forehead in his palm, Sora inhaled a shuddery breath as the noise level around him swelled, perfectly oblivious to the pounding in his temples. He was sitting outside on cool, metal bleachers, unable to keep from trembling even as he hugged himself in his jacket. The air was a warm autumn current, but it did nothing to stop the shivering in Sora’s core. Why wouldn’t the nausea go away? It seemed to have doubled in the presence of so many carefree students. He didn’t belong there, so tainted with feelings he shouldn’t have.

He brushed his bangs aside as the wind swept them up carelessly, somehow managing a forced smile as he mused that maybe he understood how Riku had felt in that car ride, but really he knew that his friend’s aggravation had been much worse. Riku. It felt like he hadn’t talked to Riku in forever. It felt like he hadn’t had a normal conversation with anyone in a very long time. All he had been listening to for the past few weeks was Cloud’s advice, Cloud’s consoling, Cloud’s requests.

How could he have not stopped it sooner? Why had he secretly wanted it to continue?

Without warning, someone tapped his shoulder and Sora jumped, straightening in his seat. He whirled around, only to find Riku and Kairi, both smiling patiently, looking so completely normal. Sora watched wordlessly as Riku hopped down to his level on the bleachers, then held out his hand to help Kairi.

“Hey, Sora, you don’t look so good,” Riku observed, genuinely concerned by Sora’s tired appearance.

“I—I’m fine,” Sora replied evasively, relieved to see Riku, but he secretly wished he could have been with his friend alone in that moment. Not that he didn’t like Kairi, but she tended to have a loud, blabbing mouth when it came to things people didn’t want discussed openly. Well, wait a moment… Could he have really told Riku the situation, even if he had wanted to?

He thought on that for a moment. Riku… Riku would probably be disgusted with Sora right now, that or he would play it off as all of Cloud’s fault, and it wasn’t. It wasn’t entirely his older brother’s fault. He hadn’t exactly done anything to help the situation. He liked cuddling with Cloud, he liked being consoled and pampered by the blonde. He…

Sora quickly put a hand over his mouth, afraid for a horrifying moment that he was going to be sick again. When the feeling passed, he looked up at Riku with a strained smile. “I’m fine,” he said again. “Really.”

Riku’s concern didn’t falter; he only examined Sora more skeptically, squinting into the setting sun at the brunette’s back. When he finally spoke, his voice was so gentle, so pure and motiveless that Sora’s heart ached. “Well, if you want, I can drive you home.”

The huff of disapproval from Kairi’s lips was quiet, but not missed by Sora.

“No, it’s okay. I just want to watch the game,” he said. The longer he stayed at school, the better, no matter how alienated it made him feel. Cloud was undoubtedly home, waiting to talk to him, ready to tell him there was nothing wrong with what they had done.

Riku nodded at Sora’s assertion and turned his gaze to the field, his arm snaking around Kairi’s small waist, drawing her against his side. Sora felt his expression crumble and he turned away. That was what he should have been doing. Finding a girlfriend, holding her, telling her how beautiful she was. Cloud should have been doing the same. Sora realized now that it should have struck him as odd that someone who looked like Cloud didn’t date much. He winced, unable to stop himself from wondering exactly how long Cloud had been hiding these unspeakable feelings.

Lost in the sickening thought, Sora only vaguely heard Kairi announce that she was going to get a drink. Riku looked momentarily torn, but seemed to decide Sora needed his company more.

“I mean it, Sora,” Riku leaned in slightly. “I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t want to go home,” Sora reassured him. “I do want to watch the game.”

Riku let his eyes flick briefly over to the cheerleaders and the coaches screaming at the football players. “…You never liked the games. Why are you here, anyway?”

“I wanted to think, geeze,” Sora snapped, but when Riku’s face began to close up, he was immediately guilty and apologetic. “H-Hey… I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“But why?” His friend took a seat on the semi-warm bench beside him, their knees casually touching, and Sora was dismayed to find it did nothing for him. Not that he had been trying to find Riku attractive—maybe it really was true. Maybe people his own age just didn’t make it.

“No reason,” Sora sighed. “Insomnia, probably. Listen… Kairi obviously wants you to spend some time with her. So—maybe you should go and help her with the drinks, pay for them or something?” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, cocking an eyebrow. “Before she thinks you’re cheating on her.”

“Haha, good one, Sora,” the other boy laughed, smacking him one on the arm. “All right, I’ll take your advice. But… if you need me to take you home or anything—or just need me period—let me know, all right? I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Giving Sora an affectionate pat on the head, Riku got to his feet and began to maneuver his way back through the people. Moments later and he was gone.

Sora sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and letting his face drop into the palms of his hands.

Shit. Why had things gone so horribly wrong? And why had he let them get that way? He could have stopped it sooner, if it had occurred to him, if it had really bothered him. But that was just the damn problem, wasn’t it? It didn’t bother him. And this thought, more than any other, scared him the most.

-o-o-

Sora groaned and rolled stiffly onto his back, rubbing his eyes with the pads of his thumb and forefinger until the raw feeling behind the lids went away. Morning light was filtering through his thin curtains, but it was the weekend and he wanted to sleep more; he needed it after the past two nights. Wasn’t that what Riku had told him when he had finally been dropped off after the football game? Make sure you get some rest, Sora. He was trying, but it wasn’t that simple. He couldn’t spend another minute in the same bed that he had initiated a cuddling session with his brother on.

Abruptly sitting up, Sora stood and listened very carefully for sounds from the next room, any sign that Cloud was awake. That was how he had been getting around his house lately, cautiously, always listening and looking for Cloud. Sticking to his parents’ sides and insisting that Riku came in for no reason other than to have someone else to look at when he passed Cloud pretending to read in the living room.

After a few moments, Sora massaged the back of his sore neck and decided that since Cloud didn’t seem to be stirring, he would take a hot shower to relax his muscles. As he shuffled out his door, briefly surprised to find it locked though he quickly remembered why, he couldn’t help shaking his head. It was ridiculous to think that he could simply avoid Cloud for the rest of his life. The blonde slept in the room beside his. Cloud was bound to corner him sooner or later. Sora was being to think that sooner would be better, or that at least it would ease the apprehension some.

Feeling incredibly aware of his body, Sora undressed quickly, avoiding the mirror’s reflection and dropping his clothes in a heap on the floor. He shivered down to his bones (why was he always cold lately?), but was determined to forget about Cloud for the duration of his shower as he turned the hot water tap to near the stinging point. The patter of water against porcelain should have been calming, but all Sora could think of was that he hoped to God Cloud couldn’t hear the shower noises.

He couldn’t stop asking why. Why did he have to feel that sort of attraction to Cloud? Life would perfect, normal, if it wasn’t for the one, forbidden secret between brothers.

There was a foamy, watermelon-scented lather in his hair now. The water was falling hot against the nape of his neck when through the steam and already distorted glass, Sora saw a flash of blonde. No, no, no. It couldn’t be, but when Sora blinked and focused his vision, the image only became clearer. Sora was losing it, shaking all over. Cloud was there; Sora couldn’t possibly get away and oh God, not in the shower.

How had his brother gotten in? Sora had been so foolish to trust the residential locks. They were to prevent people from accidentally walking in, not keep away people who wanted to gain entrance. Cloud could have picked it with penny.

How was Sora going to face his parents? His friends? Riku?

He had to stop it. Not caring about the soap suds in his hair, he pulled open the far shower door and stuck his head out, “Cloud! Get out!”

Cloud just looked over his shoulder and blinked, stepping out of his boxers, “Hey, Sora, calm down. You’re going to wake Mom and Dad.”

“I don’t care! Get out now!” Sora was trying to sound forceful but it was coming out a whine and no, no, no Cloud was already naked. All that white skin. All those muscles. Sora hastened to look away as Cloud stood up to his full height.

“Look, Sora, you know I have to work early on Saturdays.” Cloud’s voice was as calm as reason itself. “I’m running late so I’m just going to jump in with you. I really don’t see the problem. Are we brothers, or what?”

Sora groaned, eyes fixed on the tub surround, watching stray droplets of water run down it in paths. Cloud’s speech was lulling his senses. What was the problem again? Oh yeah, the unnatural way his stomach kept jolting in response to his brother’s body. But he could control that, couldn’t he? It was his own fault… really… He couldn’t make Cloud late for work…

No, Sora! Get a hold of yourself! Furiously shaking his head, he opened his mouth to tell his brother no once again—good lord, the blonde had really conditioned him, hadn’t he?—but he was stopped when Cloud easily knocked him aside, albeit gently, and stepped into the shower. Sora’s eyes immediately scanned over his fit body, taking in the full five feet, eight inches worth of lovely, lovely skin and muscle and… other things…

Face flushing with shame, Sora squeezed his eyes shut and turned his body back into the shower water. All he had to do was finish rinsing his hair out, then he could leave the shower and wait until Cloud was gone to come back in and finish it. That was all. Really.

Then Cloud uttered the words that he had feared hearing the most behind him. He said them in a low, reassuring voice, his fingertips coming to rest against Sora’s shoulder.

“Calm down, Sora. It’s okay.”

It’s not okay! his mind screamed at him even as he began to calm down, tension falling out of his body, his shaky hands reaching back into his hair to help get rid of the shampoo as the water streamed over it. Cloud’s hand moved away, and Sora could hear him rustling around, grabbing for the shampoo bottle, the noises somehow sharp over the pounding of the water against the tile.

It was silent for a few moments, and then Sora felt the brush of a knee against the back of his thigh. He jumped, stifling a surprised yelp, but the touch was gone again as fast as it had come, and Cloud started lowly humming some tune in his throat. It gently echoed through the shower walls, but probably wouldn’t make it past the hallway.

Feeling bitter with himself, Sora wished that his parents could sense the evil in this house and just wake up and do something about it when Sora was so afraid and couldn’t.

To his horror, he found his hands already reaching for the conditioner, and he poured a decent amount of it into his hand before lifting it to his hair and stepping slightly out of the water so it didn’t rinse away. Cloud took this opportunity to step forward instead, coming beneath the direct spray of the water, his elbow bumping against Sora’s shoulder blade.

God… Sora thought, swallowing thickly, as his brother reached around him to put the bottle back in a new place than where he had gotten it from. In the process his arm slid across Sora’s, and just that sensual slide of wet skin had his breath catching in his throat, his body tensing. I should leave… But… I still have conditioner in my hair…

The conditioner was even more difficult to rinse away, especially with Cloud claiming half of the water current for his own. The residue on Sora’s hair was pure silk, but terribly insistent. Breathing shallowly, he raised his hands and ran his fingers with the water through his detangled locks, trying to hasten the rinsing process. Cloud was humming again, low and measured.

From Sora’s current position, arched away from his brother’s naked body, only his bangs were getting enough of the liquid stream. He closed his eyes and shoved his whole head into the shower, without realizing his mouth was still hanging open, trying to regulate his breathing. The anxious brunette swallowed a mouthful of water and felt the choking sensation somewhere in his throat. Sputtering pitifully, Sora’s body doubled over and pitched towards the steam bedewed wall.

Before Sora could even collect himself, Cloud’s hands were on his hips, cupping them, somehow swallowing them whole. Sora felt so small. Cloud, like always, wasn’t going to give him a chance to recover on his own.

“Careful,” Cloud muttered against the trembling boy’s ear, hands rubbing pacifying circles on Sora’s lower body. “You’re okay, Sora. Just relax.”

Sora shuddered. The water was still scalding hot, but ice was sinking down his stomach. Cloud had him now. Why the hell did it feel so good? Fingertips, his brother’s fingertips, were grazing over the hollows of his hipbones from behind. The touch was so delicate that Sora almost couldn’t tell where it ended and the spray of water began. So light and still it was more erotic than anything Sora had ever imagined. How did Cloud know he was sensitive there?

A spasm of desire leapt from Sora’s groin, up his stomach and along his spine. No, please. His body was betraying him. Jolt, jolt, jolt. Cloud’s frame was almost pressed against his back now and the image of its perfection was again running through Sora’s mind. He tried to push the thought aside. He tried to control the rush of his blood, but Cloud seemed to have stolen his senses.

“No…”

Sora instantly regretted allowing the word to be spoken aloud. He looked down in defeat to see what he feared, and then something much worse. Cloud’s long fingers curled around his erection, forming an elegant tunnel for Sora’s pleasure. The brunette tore his gaze away, again terribly aware of how boyish he felt within his older brother’s grasp. This can’t be happening. What was Cloud doing? Why was he so damn hard? Why wasn’t he running, screaming, anything?

“No,” Sora moaned weakly for the second time, insides constricting.

That was the last word to escape his mouth. Cloud hadn’t needed to tell him to be quiet. Sora knew he couldn’t possibly make any of the noises he wanted to. All Sora and his brother could hear was pouring water, but anyone walking outside of bathroom, without the sound of the shower to fill their ears, would have happened upon something much more suggestive. Sora bit his lip, refusing to let a single, telling gasp out. He wouldn’t moan his brother’s name.

Cloud leaned forward, caging Sora with his body. One of his hands was braced against the shower wall, the other had begun to pump Sora’s throbbing arousal.

Sora’s teeth bit harder into his lip as his body gave a harsh shudder and he fell forward against the wall. His fingers reached up, grasping onto it, only to slip, and his next breath of air got caught somewhere in his lungs as Cloud’s touches didn’t relent, only quickened. The brunette’s head fell back, his mouth opening in a silent cry, and he felt the base of his skull connect with Cloud’s shoulder. Instead of pulling away, he let it rest there, body rigid, bowed forward, and he tried so damn hard not to push up into those touches. So damn hard…

A ragged gasp escaped him, and it quickly segued into a long sigh that he was ashamed of but couldn’t help. If anything, this only seemed to encourage Cloud, and his fingers left his aching arousal momentarily before Sora’s back was suddenly pressing against the cold wall. He jerked, hissing, but the sting of the chill faded quickly as Cloud pressed in close, his nose burying itself at Sora’s temple, his fingers resuming their previous stroking.

Sora’s hands flailed up, clenching onto his brother’s biceps, one squeezing shut as he fought to keep the other open. His knee twitched, rose, pressed into Cloud’s hip, and the blonde’s free hand reached down, curling around his thigh, lifting it up and over his waist. Sora kept it there, afraid he’d fall without the added balance, before burying his face in Cloud’s wet chest, wanting to scream, to cry, to moan, but he wouldn’t let himself. Couldn’t. Making more noises than he had already would be like… giving into something worse than he already had at this point.

“Shh, shh,” Cloud soothed to his ear, and it was only then that Sora realized he was whimpering, the soft noises sounding over the patter of the shower water. He immediately snapped his mouth shut, feeling his face flush with shame and other things, fingers tightening in their grasp on Cloud.

Sora knew he was gripping too tightly; his nails had probably drawn blood, leaving a mark that Cloud would have to hide. He hated that thought; the knowledge that a symbol of what they were doing was going to remain, was going to see beyond the shower’s four walls. But when Cloud stroked him harder, he only dug in deeper. As the last throes of ecstasy coursed through his body, Sora finally allowed himself to buck into his brother’s hand, all sense of restraint streaming away with the steadily cooling water.

Slim hips rocked forward and Sora clung to Cloud as he came, thighs trembling with the intensity of his orgasm. His entire body was exhausted and wracked with guilt all at once. So much so that his legs gave away, and Cloud, with his hands under Sora’s armpits, helped lower his spent younger brother to the floor.

Cloud didn’t stick around too long after that. He finished washing his body off, leaving Sora slumped against the wall, but left the water on. Maybe because he thought Sora was going to have the energy to finish showering off, maybe because he somehow sensed that Sora was about to scrub his body raw in an effort to get rid of his brother’s lingering touch. Whatever the case, he was done within a few minutes, drying off, pulling on clean clothes, and then striding out the door.

Sora squeezed his eyes shut when he heard the door click shut, deafening even with the water running. It was a long moment before he felt his heart slow to something normal, and he slid his eyes open, only to lower them to the water streaming down the shower drain. Spiraling away… slowly, ever so slowly…

He took a deep, shaky breath—released it.

And burst into sobs.