Disclaimer: JKR: Genius… ME: Fraud. End of story.

::::::::::Hermione::::::::::

What else could I say?

I mean, I obviously was making empty claims. But what could I do? I couldn't ask for backup because then I would have to admit to someone my experiment. I was completely alone. And am now, which is a surprise.

I expected Snape to offer to chaperone on the Hogsmeade trip so that he could watch me make an arse of myself from afar. However, at breakfast, he told me he is just going to blissfully enjoy Hogwarts brat-less. He left me with the promise that will know if I don't go through with it. He'll probably use Legilimency on Andrew.

Bastard.

As I stride toward the Three Broomsticks, I hope to Merlin that Andrew is out on holiday or something. However, when I arrive, he's just walking out.

Unfortunately.

He doesn't see me, nor recognise me, and starts to stride off toward Weasely's Wizard Wheezes.

If Snape plans on using Legilimency on Andrew, then he would still see me, not going after him.

It's times like this that I hate magic.

Andrew has hair the colour of unbleached eggs, and thus, is pretty distinguishable and easy to follow into the crowd. Also, he's really tall, about three inches over Snape and Ron, so that makes it easier.

That horrid, sick feeling fills my stomach and I take a deep breath. Here goes everything… 'Andrew!'

He doesn't hear at first so I take long strides after him. I catch his arm just before he enters WWW. 'Andrew.'

He turns politely, eying me curiously. 'Yes… Hermione, is it?'

I nod. Now what do I do? I hadn't thought about how I am going to go about attempting to seduce him. If there is a way that I could do so without making myself look like a complete fool, and accomplishing the task (because I would love to prove Snape wrong), I am unaware of it.

He's waiting patiently for me to answer.

Come on, Hermione, think! Remember every book you’ve read, movie you've seen. How did the girl seduce the guy? I work my way through many comedic and sleazy methods, alternatively. None of them seems right.

So, I go with the first thing that shoots into my consciousness. 'Listen, you're at Wiz Uni, right?' Wiz Uni is short for Wizard's University.

He nods slowly, the corners of his lips tugging his face into a broad smile. 'I am.'

'Wwell, see, in my Muggle Studies class, we are comparing Muggle Uni to Wiz Uni. Is there any way you could come in and talk to the students for me?'

'Sure.' He shrugs. 'When do you want me to come in?'

'Well…' what to say, what to say… 'Why don't we go to the Hog's Head an hammer out the details. Do you have time now for that?'

To my shock, he agrees.

'So, I don't know anything about you. What are your hobbies?' I try to sound super casual but come out sounding like a complete moron. I am going to murder Snape if this doesn't work.

'Er…' he hesitates, shifting a little in his seat. 'I enjoy reading.'

What on earth am I doing? 'Oh, I find books to be an aphrodisiac.' Oh. My. God. That was so horrible.

Cocking his head to one side, Andrew studies me. He slowly lets out, 'I suppose…' There is a question in there.

Finally, I sigh. 'Ok, let me level with you; there's no class I need you to visit. I came here to seduce you.'

There's a small smirk on his lips and that's when I get it. It's Snape. He's Polyjuiced himself into Andrew. I sit back. 'You bastard!'

Confused, he asks, 'Sorry?'

'Come on. I know it's you. You changed yourself into Andrew, Professor, and planned on sitting back and watching me throw myself at you, as you laughed to yourself. Come on, let me see the Polyjuice vial.'

'I think you've made a mistake.' He shakes his head. 'I am Andrew.'

'Bullocks.'

'Look,' reasons he, 'we've been talking for over an hour. You need to take Polyjuice every hour in order to keep up the appearance.'

He's right. How could I be such a fool? And I haven't seen him take a drink of anything. He even denied a beverage here! So, crestfallen, I explain the brief deal concerning him. After I finish, he sits back and doesn't speak for a few minutes.

Then—

'So, basically, there's no way for you to win now. You've told me about the deal so if I were to sleep with you now, it wouldn’t count because you didn't seduce me into your bed, but asked me into it.'

'But answer me this: when I was trying to seduce you, was there any way, I was tempting?'

'Sorry, no.' His reply is so frank and honest I can't help the stab in my chest. Even though I know I am a bad seductress, still, I hoped he would have thought an offer of sex was good.

At my expression, he adds. 'Hermione, I'm…' he smiles a bit. 'I'm gay.'

Oh.

'Well, Andrew is gay.' Now he's full-on grinning.

His use of the third person alarms me. 'What…'

'I spoke to him earlier today and he told me so. I didn't know ahead of time, however.'

'You tosser!' I leap out of my seat, knocking my chair back. 'You said there was no Polyjuice!'

Slowly, before my, and the other two occupants' of Hog's Head, 'Andrew's' honey-brown hair darkens and lengthens. His eyes deepen and his nose grows. Until Severus Snape stands before me. 'I didn't lie to you, Miss Granger. I used no Polyjuice or any other potions.'

'You… you're a metamorphmagus?' My mind whirls with the new information. Snape is an unregistered metamorphmagus. It's so rare.

'Yes. Though kudos to you for deducing that I was an imposter.'

God, I want to wipe that self-satisfied smirk off his face… with a hard slap. However, I manage to restrain myself and instead, walk out of the pub.

It's not difficult for Snape to catch up to me. Before he can speak, I snap, 'I hate you. You bastard! You did that just to entertain yourself! That's why you didn't mind if I proved you wrong or not; you just wanted to watch me seduce you. There was no way I could succeed because it was you! And this doesn't count. I mean, you haven't proved me wrong because the… experiment was tainted.'

'You should really be thanking me, Miss Granger.'

At this new bit of information, I gawp at him incredulously. 'And why would I do that?'

'Because had you actually tried to seduce yourself, you would have been highly embarrassed and would definitely not have accomplished your task. You only had me.'

Which is worse, really. But I decide to change the subject.

'You have your date tomorrow. We best get you ready.' And maliciously, I add, 'And get you a haircut.'

Yes, I am going to cut Snape's hair. ::another evil grin::

Sorry such a short chappie and thanks to all the reviews so far!

Next chappie: Snape's date and some fun.