Disclaimer: They aren’t ours. We just play with them and put them back where we found them. (Warning: Regular wear and tear should be expected.)

A/N: Um, I’ll just let you read. (Siapom) We were going to end it here, but well, we thought breaking it up was better. (Goldpiece) Yeah, so we will hopefully have another update soon. Enjoy.

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Temperance was woken up quite rudely in her opinion as a pair of size ten ice cubes pressed against her calves. Reaching over her back, the hit the source of the coldness and was rewarded with an outraged gasp.

"Get your feet off of me," she mumbled and rolled over, trying once again to get comfortable.

Unfortunately, just as she snuggled into her pillow, the ice came back. Jerking closer to the edge of the bed, she gave a frustrated growl, and smacked blindly behind her back with one hand before drifting back to sleep. After having stayed awake for almost two full days, even Booth’s hiss of pain didn’t wake her again. That is until the unmistakable click of handcuffs closing somehow seeped into her consciousness. At first she thought it was part of the erotic dream she'd been flirting with on and off, but as she tried to roll over, reality came crashing down on her. She jerked awake, wrenching her arms that were handcuffed to the headboard. Confused, she looked around to find Booth standing over her in a pair of boxers that had a rooster on the front of them as he smirked down at her.

"What the hell are you doing Booth," she yelled.

"Just trying to make sure you won't hurt me again."

She yanked against the cuffs. “So you handcuffed me?!” She pulled again, but all she succeeded in accomplishing was bruising her wrist. “Take these off!”

Booth stood unsteadily on the bed looking down and shaking his head. With one leg on either side of her knees he held up one finger and waggled it in an I-don’t’think-so motion. “Nope. Those,” he pointed to the cuffs, “are there to protect my poor manhood from further abuse.”

Moving awkwardly to sit up, Brennan glared at his crotch. “Just wait. Once that worm comes back out of the rooster’s beak I’m going to do more than scratch it!” She flailed one leg toward his kneecap.

Booth maneuvered out of the way and shook his head. "I don't think so Bones. Nope, for my own protection my privates have temporarily become a 'no bite zone'." Booth's eyes widened as Brennan growled and pulled against the handcuffs again.

"Go put a sock on it Booth!"

Booth’s sudden and overwhelming guffaw sent Brennan into a new struggle. Unsure if she was trying to get free to just nab some part of his anatomy of her own, Booth scrambled backward and off of the bed. He had never seen his Temperance so enraged, but still he couldn’t stop laughing. Once he’d finally managed a few whooping breaths, he stood up and turned to his dresser.

“Bones, I think you meant, put a sock in it. But, still, the other probably isn’t a bad idea either.’ He cast a suspicious glance at her over his shoulder. “Just in case you get loose and come after me with those pointy teeth of yours.”

"My teeth are not pointy. I resent the implication that they're any more pointy than is normal."

"Oh, I beg to differ. You, after all, weren't the one who got bit." He turned to face the dresser again and opened up one of the drawers. As he riffled through, looking for just the right sock, Brennan looked again at Booth's shorts. Not only did they have a rooster on the front, the word 'cocky' was emblazoned on the back of them.

"Did those come with the belt buckle," she couldn't help but ask.

He paused in his search, turning a full circle to show off his prized undies. “Yep!”

She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to sound so proud, Booth. They’re just underwear.” She waited until he turned back to the drawer and mumbled, “Of course, they’re also gaudy and scream ‘look at me’, which isn’t surprising.”

Booth, too distracted by his sock hunt, chose to ignore her. He picked up the sock that matched the boxers, but threw it back down and continued the search.

"So, um what exactly will make you remove these handcuffs?"

Booth looked up once before he turned back to the sock drawer. "Oh, I don't know. Do you promise not to hurt me anymore?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you in the first place. Come on Booth, let me go." She rattled the chains once more to make her point.

He turned, a sock in each hand, and considered her before shaking his head. “Nope. Not yet.” He dropped the socks onto the dresser and shoved his hand to the back of the drawer. “I want to make sure you have time to consider your actions before I let you loose, and I have to be in the proper protective gear before I come back over there. After all, we’re not finished – Ah ha!” He twirled around, triumphantly waving a bright red sock in the air.

Brennan’s eyes opened in amazement. “Does that say…?”

Booth looked at the sock he was waving in the air and grinned. "Yup, it says 'tickle me'. Care to follow its advice?" He reached into his boxers and slid the sock over his privates. Brennan gaped for a moment before she started to laugh.

"I can't believe you just did that."

He posed, turning first to one side and then the other. “Why not, Bones? You can never been too careful where my manlihood is involved.”

“In that case, since you’re now feeling safe, would you please let me go?”

He nodded and grinned and then reached for his pants. As he fished around for the key, he frowned. It had to be here somewhere. Brennan didn't like the look on his face and tried to sit up a little more, once again wrenching her arms.

"Booth, where's the key. You have the key, right?"

"Um, Houston, we've got a problem."

“What do you mean ‘we’ve got a problem’? I’m the one handcuffed to the bed!” She watched as Booth got down on his knees, his COCKY ass sticking up in the air, as he looked under the bed. “Booth! Where in the hell are the keys?”

Booth popped his head up long enough to say, “Just a sec,” before dropping back to the floor. He crawled around the room, his sock covered manhood jiggling along, looking under furniture and shaking articles of clothing. No key.

“Booth.”

He held up a finger to silence her, and continued to search.

“Booth!”

Um, give me a second," he said as he raced out of the room. Brennan moved from slightly perturbed to furious in one second.

"Seeley Booth, where the hell are the keys to your handcuffs?" She rattled the chains again, struggling to free herself from their grip. Booth stuck his head into the room looking sheepish.

"I uh, can't exactly find them." He winced at the stream of expletives coming from Brennan's mouth.

"Now, Bones, calm down." Wincing, he ran from the room. They had to be somewhere. He dashed to the living room and starting digging between the sofa cushions. All the while tossing placating comments toward the bedroom, where Brennan continued to call him every name in the book. One particularly imaginative comment caught his attention, and he turned to yell down the hallway, “I do NOT have to wear cocky underwear in order to compensate for a small penis!” Then, turning back to the couch, he realized the blinds over the bay windows were open…and his mailman was standing outside, staring in, mouth opened in a surprised “oh”.

Booth quickly dropped out of sight and crawled along the floor, hoping that he'd be able to look the mailman in the eye the next time he needed to sign for something. He cursed as he made his way to the hall and stood back up. This was so not good. He cleared his throat before he stepped into the bedroom.

"Well?"

"I'm not exactly sure where they went."

When Brennan was silent, Booth opened his eyes. “Bones?”

“Dial Angela’s number and hold up the phone to my ear.”

Her voice was deceptively calm, so Booth wasn’t sure he had heard her right. “Huh?”

Coming alive, Brennan jerked on her bonds and screamed, “Just dial the damn number, Booth! Now!”

He fumbled for his cell phone and hit dial. As he held up the phone, he was secretly very happy that Temperance's hands were otherwise occupied or he knew she would be hitting him right about now. He counted the number of rings, and thought that Angela wasn't going to answer when it was finally answered with a sleepy, "H'lo?"

"Angela get all of your keys and get over to Booth's now."

Brennan looked up at Booth. “You can hang up, now.”

Not wanting to argue with the woman who was trying to kill him with a look, he did as he was ordered, even though he could hear Angela on the other end saying, “What? Bren? Bren!” He snapped the phone closed.

“Um. How does that help?”

Brennan just glared, and tried to cross her arms. When the cuffs prevented even that, she stamped down on a scream and glared some more.

Across town, Jack turned to Angela to find out why she was scrambling out of the bed. “Wassa matter?’

"Bren needs my keys for some reason." Jack looked at her confused and then grinned. He hopped out of bed and grabbed a pair of pants.

"I'll go warm up the car."

"What? Jack, no. I can go on my own."

"Nuh-uh. After everything I sort of heard last night I'm not going to miss it for the world." Jack raced out of the room as Angela stared after him. It took a moment before she finally had a horrific thought.

"Jack Stanley Hodgins, you will not bring that video camera with you!"