Author: Masako Moonshade PM
When Zuko shows up at an inopportune time, Katara is forced to find a way to distract him. Fortunately, nothing is more distracting than a teenage girl bent on seduction. Season 1, new chapter: Season 3.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Zuko & Katara - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,412 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 12-08-07 - Published: 11-06-06 - Status: Complete - id: 3232493
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Creative Diversion: Season Three
Disclamer: Nope. Own nothing.
AN: Thought I'd never write this, didn't you? Well, neither did I. But there's no way I'm going to pass up a chance to write about Katara's Harem, so I did. This takes place after the Day of the Black Sun, over which I am still squealing inside. And please forgive my portrayal of Zuko if you feel that it is OOC. It is far from my best piece, and it seems I've grown a bit rusty writing him, but I've gotten my Old!Zuko tone back: very analytical, intellectual and slightly militant, especially now that he's learning to understand and control his emotions.
But at that moment, he knew that he had nothing on Katara.
She was a very sober, understanding young woman; very mature for her years, a natural leader in this coalition of children and teenagers. The only thing she lacked (besides the opportunity to rest while an adult took care of these matters) was patience, and it showed quite violently. So violently, in fact, that he seriously considered hiding behind a piece of rubble until her anger cooled, meanwhile praying that Agnii would protect him from the woman's wrath. The Duke had already taken this measure, though his prayers likely addressed a different Spirit.
But for all the things he lacked, he still possessed his traitorous pride, so he stayed put, calculating his odds with a general's care.
The Avatar, ironically enough, was part of the problem. Him and that Haru boy, just barely clean shaven at her request. They both liked her—that was no secret, and he had become irrevocably sure of that fact in the week since he joined the group. Their feelings might have flattered Katara, if not for the circumstances of this affection. The issue arose from their competition: one was older, and handsome in his own right; the other was insanely powerful, famous, and had known her longer. Her matronly duties kept her too busy to show any kind of preference, so they had decided to win her affections "the old fashioned way." Flowers that were fated to be used as spice or garnish in the next meal. Elaborate gifts that were laid aside, barely noticed. The tastiest foods that could be found in the secluded spot, all of which ended up being digested by the rest of the group. And, of course, the occasional duel. Perhaps it had been planned that way; perhaps Haru had realized that he couldn't hope to actually win against the Avatar, and so intended to draw on pity; perhaps they were just being stupid. Either way, they fought. And while they fought, the campsite was smashed by earthquakes, while violent winds scattered shrapnel, and the remnants soaked into a pulpy, slimy mess.
The first time this had happened, he had thought that Katara had been furious. The second time, she redefined what it meant for a human being to be angry. This time Zuko sincerely feared for his life.
The air seemed to scream around him; plants shattered and splintered as the water within them turned to ice, frozen mists buffeted every fiber in his body, and half-visible streaks lashed at the wizened walls of their shelter, missing their inhabitants by the barest of inches. Meanwhile she continued, sometimes shouting, sometimes unleashing her words in a venomous whisper. The others ran and hid, all but himself. And Haru and the Avatar, both of whom lacked the ability to move at all anymore. They just sat and stared, half frozen in place and mute from shock—Zuko wondered if it was her anger that silenced them, or simply the fact that their advances had failed yet again.
Regardless, she was a few impassioned gestures away from bringing the building down on top of them. It was time to do something.
More than facing his father, or stealing the Avatar away from Zhao, or plunging alone into the North Pole, this was dangerous. Perhaps the most dangerous thing he would ever do. Hopefully it would not be the last.
He had to choose his movements carefully: dodge between this water-whip and that, account for the freezing mists, avoid treading near the lawn of miniature knives that every weed-infested area had become. With every step his death stared him more surely in the face. But it didn't matter. This was a task that had to be done. For the sake of the world.
Though for the record, his Honor wouldn't benefit much from this.
"AND ANOTHER THING!" Katara shrieked, and he felt his ears throb. "HOW ON EARTH DO YOUUGMBAAH!"
Had it been a real kiss, his self-esteem would have been shot by the fact that she continued to scream into his mouth. The fact that it was indeed not a real kiss insured that only his life expectancy took a blow. She tried to wrench herself away, but he grabbed onto her in what appeared to be a fit of passion. She attempted to knee him in the groin, an attack he narrowly avoided with an awkward sidestep, and then he moved too close to be attacked properly. She even grabbed his hair and tried to yank him away—his eyes watered, but it was precisely the opportunity that he needed. He pulled his mouth away slightly.
"Calm down," he hissed so only she could hear.
"How dare you—you perverted—get off, or so help me—" Agnii had been merciful on two counts. The first was that Katara was out of breath from her struggles, and therefore could not threaten him loudly enough to be overheard by the dumbstruck Avatar. The second was that Toph wasn't nearby, and so couldn't repeat what Katara had said; her sharp ears had been his personal demon for the past week. Zuko had a sinking feeling that he would die a rather gruesome death in a few moments if things didn't go quite as planned.
"You're sick of those two fighting over you, right?" he muttered.
"Of course I am!" she snapped.
"Then I can help you."
For a moment the wild thrashing stopped as she considered what aid he could possibly give her. Zuko took the opportunity to plant another kiss on her lips.
"I said get off," she snarled into his mouth.
"Kiss me back," He muttered.
"They won't quit," he hissed. "Not unless you're already taken."
"Call it a relationship of convenience."
"Hey!" Sokka yelled from his hiding place. "You! Perv! Get away from my sister!"
"You're sure this'll stop Aang and Haru from fighting?"
"Almost positive," he assured her in hushed tones.
In reply she threw her arms around his neck.
"Fine," he hissed, her face close enough to his to look rather incriminating. "But don't you dare get any ideas, or I'll—"
"Don't worry," he said. He would have said more, except at that moment he was torn away from Katara by her brother and two love interests.
"What are you doing to Katara?" the Avatar demanded, looking like he was more than ready to snap Zuko's neck. Haru and Sokka didn't look much more friendly. This mildly surprised him; the Water Tribe peas—Sokka was prone to violence on occasion, but the Earthbender had always seemed to be very gentle.
Then again, it looked like Zuko had just assaulted his crush. It was not exactly a good situation to be in.
"Sorry about that," Katara said cheerfully. If Zuko didn't know better (which, come to think of it, he didn't) he would have guessed that she was rather amused by her friends' murderous expressions. "I know probably should have said something, but..." She looked askance for a second, her face the vision of bashful confession. By Agnii, she's as bad as Azula. "But Zuko and I have been sort of… well… dating."
"Dating?" Sokka cried incredulously. "Dating? How long have you two been…ugh!" Apparently he couldn't stomach the idea. Zuko had to make an effort not to be offended.
"Just a few days," she said innocently.
"And when, exactly, were you planning to tell the rest of us about this?" His voice raised with every syllable, until his shouts were almost deafening. An odd glint in Katara's eye proved that she was getting a lot of amusement out of this.
I'm doing this for the sake of the world. Atonement for my crimes. This is a necessary evil. I can handle it
By the end of the day, he was bruised and burned from a number of accidents, courtesy of two young and suddenly clumsy Benders. By the end of the week, he had learned that Appa's back was the only place he could sleep without fear of an impromptu avalanche or earthquake. Three days after that, he decided that he would start really kissing Katara, just to spite the jealous brats. And because it was fun. And because she was intelligent and graceful and funny when she wasn't trying to be and actually kind of pretty, when she wasn't in a rage.
Agnii be with me.